Me? Cylon? Fracking Zeus, you may be right! That explains a lot: No baby pictures 11 brothers who all look like me That odd factory in my hometown How perfect I am Speaking of small towns. Ever notice how some of these in our neck of the woods are all quaint and charming and others are just sad and creepy? You know, I really enjoy these TV series, type DVDs. ThereÂs something a bit more gratifying when you have to devote many nights of viewing in order to finish something and see how it all turns out. After I did a bunch of these and then took a break and watched a few regular movies, the movies just seemed lacking or rushed or kind of lame at telling the story they wanted to tell. Maybe all movies need to be 6 hours minimum. I have to do more of these series once I start the DVD thing again. Will do the miniseries. I like my kind.

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this." She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?" The blonde answers, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!" ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Two Blondes With Hammers... Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity House. Lynn , nailing down house siding, wouldreach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Lynn explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away." Judy got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!" ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first." +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." "Wow!", said the blonde, "That's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that?" he asked. "Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?" The blond replied..... ..."Two popsicles and some coffee." +++++++++++++ A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest." "Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. "What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks. "No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!"

Holiday Eating Tips - For The Sane I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds. 1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, after all, have some standards. 10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookieless January is just around the corner.

Trish, I thought Rosie was asleep in your bed. But now she's asleep on your arm. Goodness. I'm awful--the cats are barely allowed into my bedroom, let alone into my bed. Of course, Clancy has an icky sneezing problem. Thanks, for your comment on Love Song. Is she available in Australia? I think that rose would love your weather. Snooty magazine "Travel and Leisure", features Australia as its "destination of the year". I haven't read it yet, but one writer chronicles his 1242 mile drive from Perth to Ningaloo Marine Park. I think he's interested in the coral reef (which I've read is having problems). How is the smoke at your place? Has your daughter made it to Melbourne yet (or I am all mixed up again?)? It's getting colder here, and I'm going out to do more cleanup. They are predicting snow in a few days--gah. More premature winter. Thanks, Jim. I wish for things to come down out of the air for you. Thinking of you. Diane