One point to keep in mind, when considering that prior thread about cutting square footage: the cut considered was about or less than 10% of the overall square footage and affected everyday living areas, rather than choosing whether or not to have a separate media room or similar occasional-use area. So consider *what* is being cut as well as how much. To opine upon the OP's original question regarding labor-intensive jobs, one must consider the proportion or amount of labor required. Laying tile is far more labor intensive than laying electrical wire. But laying the wires in 4000 sf is comparatively more intensive than for 2000 sf; also, I note that high sf houses often incorporate more advanced or complex wiring issues than in the smaller houses. Complexity =/exceeds intensity in terms of time and cost, if not in actual physical labor. One of the most expensive potentials in any build is the temptation of "change orders." At a wild guess [based upon listening to a lot of builders over the past 40 years], 99% of the change orders are unnecessary. That is, they do not improve upon the original integrity of the structure. That doesn't mean many change orders don't improve comfort or convenience, just that they weren't necessary for accomplishing the build. It is true that change orders will usually cost you several times as much as it would have if the change had been part of the original plan. If you really want to control spending, do your work in advance and don't change your mind once the build is underway. Otherwise, I think "labor intensiveness" is difficult to categorize sufficiently for comparisons. To be fair, the intensiveness must take into consideration the skill and knowledge needed as well as the physical and/or time consuming aspects. Compare laying brick to finishing drywall -- both are physically demanding and both require knowledge of the materials involved and both require a high level of skill. Yet most of us would immediately decide that masonry was far more "labor intensive", which I think may be because a big brick wall is so much more obvious than a level 5 hallway. Our perceptions have influenced our valuation of the intensity. When it comes to saving money in a build the importance is not in comparing the labor intensiveness of different skills, but in preparing all the details. It is true that if you are skilled in some aspects, you can save paying cash out because you've already spent time learning to paint or lay tile or hang drywall or whatever. It is also true that if you aren't skilled enough to please a master mason/tiler/painter/whatever, then you are wasting both time and money because the house will have a higher value if a master does the work. And on exactly the same note, if you take the time and make the effort to learn the skill, then your work on your house will often be better than a master's work... because it IS your house.

DistressedWife, this husband of yours has problems and he is using you to make himself feel better about himself. That's what I think. He feels better after he has chastised you, belittled you. He wants to set the rules. I think that he needs a good kick up the arse but not by you. He's not worth a kick up the arse. I know he was your best friend and I suppose you were his best friend but now that you are married, he no longer seems to see you that way. You are his wife. He feels entitled. Well, he's wrong. But he won't know or think he's wrong. He's got a lot of growing up to do and that is his problem. Your problem is him, and a little bit you. (You need to build up your self esteem.) You have to get brave. Get yourself organised, pack your stuff, and get out to a better place. Your father's house seems like a good option. Take some control of your life and you will feel that you have some control. I wouldn't do this when he is around. Wait until he's gone out. He won't want you to have control over your life. And of course he'll want you back. He wants you as his underling. He is not fit to be your husband. Maybe one day he will be. But only he can fix himself. The longer you are away from him, the more likely he is to be motivated to do so. My de facto husband does bot believe in marriage, that's why he and I never married. He thinks that when people marry, they change. I think he is right. Life is about changing our minds. I changed my mind about ever wanting to marry my de facto. You might change your mind about never wanting a divorce. Or you might decide to stop wanting to work at your marriage when you are the only one doing so. For it takes two, to make a marriage work, and at the moment he has no intention. You can't change him but you can change you. And your predicament. All the best. And I'll be sending good vibes your way.

Dear all, Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I know I wrote a long post, but mkroopy, I do not expect everyone would understand my position in a short post. Thank you Sylviatexas, Readinglady and Justmetoo. You have been very understanding. In explanation to my position : 1. Before I got married, my parents had warned me that is anything were to happen (Inter-racial marriages in my country had boast issues like this before) I am not to return home crying when my marriage fail. I know my parents loved me and meant well, they only warned me of what would happen and they were absolutely right. but they are now retired, I cannot bear to burden them with my issues. If I am to find money, it will be on my own responsibility. 2. Like I mentioned above, by Muslim law, a wife can only divorce her husband for several reasons. You can refer to this : "Men have the right to divorce. If a man dislikes keeping his marriage for any reason, he divorces his wife and compensates her financially by paying her what is termed mut'a payment. This is in addition to the regular financial sustenance for her living, in case she has the custody of their children. Divorce becomes in effect once the husband utters or writes down any of the legal formulae of divorce such as: �I divorce you� or �you are divorced��etc. The husband can do these either by himself or through a messenger. In case it is the woman's desire to end the marriage, the situation becomes different. Her reasons might be that she has received ill treatment, the husband is unable to sustain her financially or he is sexually impotent. She can prove these defects in front of the judge, then the judge grants her divorce with a full access to all her financial rights. Also, if the husband was good to her but she does not want to keep on for an emotional reason, then she asks for what is termed khul'. This means to be granted divorce but without any access for financial rights, plus paying back the husband the dowry that he already paid on marrying her." I have made it clear to my husband that I don't want anything from him if he divorces me, but it seems like he is smart, he knows I won't be able to find a reason to divorce but for emotional reasons. I'm sure do hope that I'm wrong; I hope he doesn't want my money, after all his late wife did leave some for him. I am just like a pawn, I am only to suffer in a position where there is nothing I can do. 3. To Justmetoo, the solution you proposed was exactly what I did. Like I mentioned above, after my parents told me to ignore her coz eventually she will leave, I did exactly that. I ignored her. I stopped whatever I did before ie.plates to the dishes, pick up your mess, ask for permission first, spend your money wisely, you don't need another concert etc, MY HUSBAND DEEMED ME UNCARING. And again I say, I had established an understanding that I am not going to do anything anymore to make it better with her, unless she starts to do so herself. This are how things are now, she doesn't need my permission for anything, and in fact even if she does ask me, it is because she was told to by her father. And even if she did, it was, "I'm going out now, Ok Annie?" or "I'm going to borrow the bathtub, OK?" or "Can you send me to my friend's house later?" I know because her father asks her to do so, she knows I was the one who made the changes in the first place, so she behaves worst. 4. About her mother's things, you are terribly right. It was definitely my fault for clearing up the things. I just couldn't bear to live in the bedroom, which is the house under he name willed to the daughter (we are moving out sometime in 2013, AT LAST =( ) with no where to put my things. I felt really not at peace living here, everywhere I look it was just her possessions and reminders of her. Like I said, my Husband seemed very ignorant about how I felt. He had in fact mentioned I didn't know her and had no rights to hate her. She cheated on him and I didn't, I still don't understand why I get treated as if I was the one who did him wrong. I hate her terribly, It was because of what she did, that my husband is bitter and refused to clear up the mess. It was his responsibility and he dutifully neglected it and left me with the bitter consequences. I was told that the daughter was not very close to the parents. In fact, with both working adults and one spending too much time with someone else, a lot of things were left to other people to be responsible for. The maid handles a lot of things and she was given all she wanted so she wouldn't whine and cause troubles to her parents. Most definitely, I read her blog and she wrote that "my mum bullies me and don't support me" and "I didn't cry when mummy died." In fact, there wasn't an issue at all, until I came in the house. God knows what did she realize, but I doubt she appreciated her mother much until she realized someone else became the new woman in the house. The only thing I can think of now, is to live like nothing happened. Ignorance is not my forte, my blood boils to see her mess and her unthoughtful attitude about eating her share of food at home. It's makes me terribly sad that my husband says I don't care for either of them. I would have to save up my money wisely, study hard and start building a better life for myself in the future. Meanwhile, I would just have to take everything thrown at me. PS : My husband has mentioned in the past the one thing he wont tolerate is cheating and that consents a divorce. I can't do that, and even if I faked it, the bad would just be reflected on me. My husband is very smart of pretending like everything is beautiful and on cloud 9 in front of people. No one would believe of his character or assume something is wrong with our marriage.

Sorry guys. I was spending a fair amount of time on my laptop on Saturday and was catching up on some discussions on this side. I'm a regular/frequent contributor on the Kitchen Table and the Cooking forums. I was browsing here and this discussion piqued my interest. I mentioned my post about the Nissan Cube with the Rubiks personalized plate. I smile when I see it. Also, there are quite a few personalized plates here (Ontario) but they're also a $200 ticket item. I'd never pay that.