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amyfiddler

Food for thought: A true story

amyfiddler
16 years ago

Ten years ago a couple came to my office. Married under a year, both were miserable. She cried, and he was angry - I separated them both and saw them individually for the first session.

The wife cried constantly - she looked to be quite young, even for her young age. She said all he did was watch Simpsons and get angry at her. She was clearly a simple girl, perhaps a bit developmentally delayed. She just wanted him to be nice to her, and pay her some attention.

I then brought him in alone, and his first words to me were, "do you have an IQ test here you can give my wife? I think she's retarded. I can't be married to a retarded woman."

I assured him I had no such test, but wanted to learn more about what concerned him. In order to do so, I wanted to know more about him, so proceeded with the normal background information, such as his family of origin, etc -

There was a lot he couldn't tell me, didn't know answers to, so he said he'd go visit his parents, ask questions, and return the next time.

Our next visit he was eager to tell me some big news. Did I mention this couple was holding hands as they entered the office? He asked to talk to me alone -

Evidently he had gone home to talk to his parents about his childhood, and there his parents sat him down for an important conversation. Before he was born, his father had been in an industrial accident for which he was heavily medicated. The doctors warned him that if he continued with the dosage, he should be careful because any children conceived at the same time as taking the medication would more than likely be born with a mental deficiency.

"I'm the one who's retarded," he said humbly.

They left my office, hand in hand, never to return to my office.

True story -

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