I've told this before, but here goes again. The first Thanksgiving I was married I cooked the turkey. I followed the instructions on the wrapping. I removed the giblet fixins bag that was inside the turkey and cleaned it, salted it inside and out. I roasted it according to instructions. My family and two best friends were there. Due to lack of room I had to slice it and put the slices on a platter to serve it. While holding Mr. Turkey to slice it I had one hand inside the turkey. I found something in there and pulled it out!!! Oh my gosh!!! I screamed and told my everyone there that the poor turkey had an erection when it was killed and the penis had been stuffed inside the turkey!!! ( I was more graphic than that, but you get the idea ) Talk about laughing!! Everyone got hysterical and when my grandfather told me it was the neckbone I was so embarassed!!! It took years to live that one down. LInda

That's it! I'll make my mother's cranberry orange relish - a perfect complement. Thank you!

Here's a couple of my go-to, no-fail, everybody loves it recipes. With the pasta I would serve Woodie's fabulous garlic bread and a salad - I like Caesar, but maybe something with a simple vinaigrette would be good too. With the scampi I'd serve warm sourdough for sopping up the sauce along with a salad and either pasta or a baked potato. And naturally copious amounts of decent wine no matter what you're serving LOL. I also like to serve pot roast to dinner guests - either beef or pork along with gravy, mashed potatoes and some sort of vegie. But that may be a little heavy for this time of year. Personally, I like to stick with fairly simple dishes when I entertain. I don't think most people really expect elaborate meals, and as long as whatever you're serving is well-prepared I'm sure it will be enjoyed. Becky * Exported from MasterCook * PENNE IN CREAM SAUCE WITH SAUSAGE Recipe By : Serving Size : 0 Preparation Time :0:00 Categories : Pasta Tested and Approved Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method -------- ------------ -------------------------------- 1 tablespoon butter 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 medium onion -- thinly sliced 3 garlic cloves -- minced 1 pound sweet Italian sausage -- casings removed 2/3 cup dry white wine 1 can diced peeled tomatoes with juices -- (14 1/2 ounce) 1 cup whipping cream 6 tablespoons chopped Italian parsley 1 pound penne pasta 1 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese Melt butter with oil in heavy large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion and garlic and sautuntil golden brown and tender, about 7 minutes. Add sausage and sauté until golden brown and cooked through, breaking up with back of spoon, about 7 minutes. Drain any excess drippings from skillet. Add wine to skillet and boil until almost all liquid evaporates, about 2 minutes. Add tomatoes with juices and simmer 3 minutes. Add cream and simmer until sauce thickens slightly, about 5 minutes. Stir in 4 tablespoons parsley. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Remove from heat. (Sauce can be prepared 1 day ahead. Cover and refrigerate.) Cook pasta in large pot of boiling salted water until tender but still firm to bite. Drain pasta; transfer to large bowl. Bring sauce to simmer. Pour sauce over pasta. Add 3/4 cup cheese and toss to coat. Sprinkle with remaining 1/4 cup cheese and 2 tablespoons parsley. Serves 6. Source: "Bon Appétit February 1997 Landini Brothers Restaurant Alexandria, Virginia" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - * Exported from MasterCook * Shrimp Scampi Bake Recipe By : Serving Size : 0 Preparation Time :0:00 Categories : Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method -------- ------------ -------------------------------- 1 cup butter 2 tablespoons prepared Dijon mustard 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice 1 tablespoon chopped garlic 1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley 2 pounds medium raw shrimp -- shelled, deveined with tails attached 1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F (230 degrees C). 2. In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine the butter, mustard, lemon juice, garlic, and parsley. When the butter melts completely, remove from heat. 3. Arrange shrimp in a shallow baking dish. Pour the butter mixture over the shrimp. 4. Bake in preheated oven for 12 to 15 minutes or until the shrimp are pink and opaque. www.allrecipes.com - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - * Exported from MasterCook * GILROY GARLIC BREAD Recipe By : Serving Size : 0 Preparation Time :0:00 Categories : Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method -------- ------------ -------------------------------- 3/4 cup butter -- (1 1/2 sticks) room temp 3/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese (about 3 ounces) 6 tablespoons mayonnaise 3 large garlic cloves -- minced 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley 1/4 teaspoon dried oregano -- (generous) crumbled 1 1 pound loaf French bread -- halved lengthwise Thoroughly combine first 6 ingredients in medium bowl. (Can be prepared 2 days ahead. Refrigerate. Bring to room temp before continuing.) Preheat oven to 375*. Spread garlic butter on cut side of bread, wrap each half in foil. (Can be prepared 1 day ahead. Refrigerate.) Place bread on baking sheet cut side up. Bake 20 minutes. Remove foil from bread. Preheat broiler. Broil cut side up until golden brown, about 2 minutes. Source: "Woodie - www.thathomesite.com" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - NOTES : I think this spread is enough for two loaves of bread, and I prefer to bake uncovered at 400F for about 10 minutes, then broil for a couple more to get it crispy on top.

Beef bourguignon. Or, better yet, pot roast done in the style of beef bourguignon. It really has to be done ahead and reheats to finish for serving quickly and easily. Rather than cutting up the chuck as you would for traditional bourguignon, I leave it whole and just call the result pot roast. Trust me. This is a really honking good pot roast. Brown the whole piece (or pieces for a crowd) of salt and peppered chuck in some olive oil in a dutch oven. Remove and set aside on a plate. Saute the mirepoix in the same pot until it starts to brown a bit and becomes aromatic. The mirepoix I use is carrots, onions and celery as well as some bulb fennel (a good use for the stems since they have plenty of flavor and the cooking veg will be discarded anyway). Add several whole cloves of garlic and several stems of fresh thyme (no need to remove the leaves - again, you're going to strain the sauce anyway) and a bay leaf. Pour in half a bottle of decent hearty red wine and reduce by at least 1/2 to 3/4. Pour the rest of the bottle in and reduce by half. Put the meat back in the pot. Add low fat, low salt chicken stock to cover as for a braise. Cover the pot and cook in a low oven until the meat is tender, usually about 3 hours. Remove the meat from the pot, strain the juices and discard the cooking vegetables. Refrigerate the meat and juices separately as it is easier to skim the fat from the cooled cooking liquid if it's cooled separately. Recombine after the juices are defatted. This keeps very well cooked a day or two ahead of time. The day of serving, saute a big pile of fresh mushrooms (and, if you like pearl onions - just get the frozen ones and saute) - I use a couple of pounds for even one piece of chuck - in some butter/olive oil. Season the mushrooms as they cook. Spoon the sauteed mushrooms over the beef and cooking juices and put the whole works in the oven to reheat. Garnish with fresh parsley and serve with a salad and crusty bread or potatoes or noodles or polenta or whatever you like to serve this kind of food with. Basically, you can have it on the table within an hour of the scofflaws showing up for dinner.