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The Kitchen Table

my daughter is getting married

15 years ago

yES aSHLEY IS GETTING MARRIED ON JUNE 25.iAM EXCITED FOR HER SAD TOO, i WILL POST MORE LATER. my HEAD ROIS BUSTING GOOD NITEhUGS TO ALL.jUDY[CATLADY) i

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Comments (22)

Cherryfizz
15 years ago
Congratulations! What fun you are going to have planning showers and the wedding. Ashley is going to be a beautiful bride.

Anne
kiwidj
15 years ago
Oh congratulations Ashley!
Hard to believe she's all grown up and about to be a bride isn't it?
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And you know what else it isn't about? The OP's relationship with his wife. Reading Chase's post about there being a tradition of the groom's mother and bride's father walking out together made me see this differently, even though I agree that no rule in the world is going to make a difference in this situation, and even though I still would give the OP the same advice. What made me think about this is the brief detour into discussing Jewish weddings, where all the parents escort and stand with the couple. Obviously, where there are remarriages and stepparents, this could get complicated. But people manage just fine, and the reason, I realized, is that they are participating as their children's parents, not as their current spouses' escorts. If both parents are alive, they participate as usual; if one is dead, the surviving parent does, sometimes with a stepparent, especially if that stepparent helped raise the child. Most people handle it graciously even where there are hard feelings between ex-spouses, because they both still are parents to their child, and new spouses understand that this isn't about them, it's about the parent-child relationship. It's the same thing here: the OP will be participating in the wedding as the bride's father, not as his wife's husband. We have no way of knowing if the bride would not have asked for exactly the same thing were the OP still happily married to her mom, whom she adored (and maybe she does indeed love her stepmother). Especially now that I know that in some weddings, this is even seen as traditional, I would not take it as symbolic of anything about the OP's marriage, much less a slap to anyone. After all, he is planning on walking down the aisle with his daughter, not his wife, for the processional -- and that doesn't seem to bother anyone (except maybe me, but that's a whole different story!) -- I mean, no one sees that as "ditching" his wife. His walking out with the groom's mother wouldn't be, either. I still think that this bride is kind of juvenile in her choices. But as I suggested earlier, the OP is being pretty self-centered himself if he thinks anyone is going to be focusing on him or his marriage. It's just not about him. If there really is a problem in this family about the OP's remarriage, the daughter's wedding is not the time, after 12 years, to be working it out.
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Not earned the right to walk her down the isle! :(
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Yes, stop being a doormat. Given that there are two sides to every story and we are hearing only your side, it still appears that your ex has poisoned your daughter's mind against you. If all that you have done has not demonstrated that you are other than what she believes, it may be time to disengage. Perhaps she will grow up enough in time to see the situation for herself. If not, seek happiness elsewhere and stop beating your head against a brick wall.
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sheilajoyce_gw
15 years ago
Congratulations, Judy and Ashley. We had fun planning our only daughter's wedding. She lived many hours away as did her friends, and his family was from across the country. But she wanted her wedding in her hometown. Nevertheless, we made it work with her having to make only one special trip home for the fitting. Everything else, I planned, and she saw and approved on each visit home for almost a year and a half. Make it fun and try to avoid stressing yourself and especially the bride. You are right. It is a bittersweet time, seeing your daughter falling in love and marrying but also moving away from her family to start her own.
littlebit_gw
15 years ago
Oh Congratulations!!! It doesn't seem like she should be old enough to get married..
Zipper_TX
15 years ago
Congratulations Ashley! Judy she will make a beautiful bride. Hugs to you too!
sue_va
15 years ago
Judy, I miss your postings here. I always looked forward to hearing about you, Greg and Ashley.

We have watched Ashley grow up into a beautiful young lady, and I'm sure she will be a beautiful bride.

Take care of yourself and when you feel better, give us all the details.

Sue
sleeperblues
15 years ago
So happy for all, Judy. Congratulations!
donna_oh
15 years ago
Congrat to Ashley!

Take it easy Judy & have fun with the planning of her wedding!

Donna (^_^)
Kathsgrdn
15 years ago
Congratulations! You will have fun in the upcoming months!
Charlee_MO
15 years ago
I am so happy for her and ya'll. I agree, she's going to make a beautiful bride and someone a great wife.
Can I come, huh? j/k

Hugs to you and Greg and Ashley!!

Charlee
williamsburgjane
15 years ago
Congratulations to Ashley and her fiancee! I remember when Ashley was in school and Dale & I sent her those cards! That seems so long ago! :o) Jane
lydia1959
15 years ago
Congrats! I hope Ashley and her fiancee have a wonderful wedding and a long and happy life together.

Hope you will post some pictures of the wedding.
tami_ohio
15 years ago
Congratulations!
lynn_d
15 years ago
How exciting!!!!! Congrats to Ashley!
katlan
15 years ago
Congratulations! It's such an exciting time. My only daughter got married last June. I miss it. The planning and especially the wedding day itself went by way too fast.
sjerin
15 years ago
Congratulations, catlady! Oh, what fun!
neesie
15 years ago
What a wonderful event to look forward to! I wish my daughter and her boyfriend would make it official (been together 2 1/2 years). How nice to look forward to "forever" and gaining a new member of the family.
Jamie_LA
15 years ago
Congratulations!!
susanjf_gw
15 years ago
6 months! and does the time go fast...

just don't do like we did for ds1's wedding... a redo of the kitchen at the same time, lol...we wanted everything to be nice for the rehersal dinner held here...do you know not one person saw our kitchen??? they all parked and walked around the corner into the back yard for the bbq!
cheryl_down_under
15 years ago
Congratulations - that's wonderful news - my best wishes to you all.
workoutlady
15 years ago
Congratulations. My daughter is also getting married but she is getting married in June 2012. I'll be interested to find out what you do. We have no real ideas so thought we'd go to a bridal show (there's on this weekend in our area). We really don't know where to start.

Hope you have fun planning the big day and managae to stay within your budget. Keep us posted.
williamsburgjane
15 years ago
My granddaughter is getting married this April. I still have to find something to wear! I think she is a little older than Ashley, but I am happy for both of them.

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