Thanks for the supportive words and suggestions. I've been giving him time and letting him have time to himself in the evenings. He had a very loving relationship with his mother and father but now both of his parents are deceased - it is a shock. He kinda hides out in our bedroom reading newspapers, trade magazines, and watching sports and news after the kids go to bed. He eats breakfast by himself with the newspaper and news on TV. As soon as the kids and I come down for breakfast, he goes upstairs to get dressed by himself. He's managed to schedule a lot of his time to be by himself. On the weekend, he sleeps a lot. Other times he gets charged up by rough housing with the kids. Last weekend, one of my daughters needed help finding something my DH put away. I asked her why Daddy couldn't help her find it if he put it away, and she said, "Is it because Daddy lays around and sleeps a lot?" They say the darndest things. Don't worry, I've never stressed out over housework. I'm more concerned about DHs angry outbursts and extreme withdrawal. Yes, I'm picking up the slack of trying to take care of all the busy needs the kids have in the morning, evening, and weekends but that's not as concerning as the other issues. Our house has already been "let go" as far as cleaning. I'm just trying to do the basics to keep us clean, clothed, fed, and delivered to work and school! I'm sure this will all take time. Holidays will be here soon and that will be tough. Thanks again, I'll just watch and wait it out. Karen

Update added: We went down and saw my new nephew Aiden. What a little cutie. He is in the nursery full time and has an IV in his poor little head running all the time. This evening though they finally got to put him into his mama's room so that is good news. They left the port in his head just in case they need to use it again. The funny thing is that he looks just like Hayden, the two can be twins. I feel for my sil, her mom is totally mean and driving her nuts and is no help at all. She was going to stay for a month to help out, and with the babies problems she will need the extra help but out of the blue said good bye last night and no one has seen her since. My sil overcompensates by saying that she will just figure it out on her own. She hasn't been around babies and only has 2 weeks maternity leave, 2 days gone already. I hope to go down on Sunday when they get home and snuggle that baby. I will post a pic in a new post when DH gets the pics downloaded. Stacie

So, I think of everything I have seen, I really like the Bradington Young Barcelo recliner, linked in the post by gooster: It has the coveted swivel feature that DH wants, it comes in a gorgeous variety of leathers, and it doesn't have that typical recliner pillow-back look, which I like! The saga continues, though . . . because I can't find it on the floor in any store. I have found local stores that carry the B-Y brand, however, none have this particular model in stock for DH to try out. DH insists on trying out the chair, and I don't blame him. Especially given the expense of a chair like this, we would hope it could be viewed in person someplace. It doesn't help that we live in rural Wisconsin, I'm sure. So I called the B-Y company, left a message and am awaiting a call back. Hopefully, we can see this chair before purchasing. We are willing to travel, within reason, to see it. So close, and yet so far!

Well, you certainly have been vocal about enjoying your adult kids at home and I can certainly relate. My own family would be easy for me to tolerate - they've never mistreated me or mine and if they ever did get moody, I'd have no problem speaking my mind. And, in my old age, I really hope my dear sons do come back home after college. I'd love it! I hope we'll always be close as my parents and I have always been close. And, if I ever do need something in my advancing years, I wouldn't be holding my breath waiting on my skids to help out - it just isn't their thing. It will be MY family who has always been there for me and who I can count on - hopefully, my sons will be of a similar mind to me and not of the thinking that my skids have - they're selfish, spoiled and have a huge sense of entitlement. I pray they mature and grow out of that stage, but I haven't really seen signs of that happening. My youngest's b-day is Thurs. and she said, "I'm gonna take you to Toys 'R Us and buy you a big dinosaur!" Meanwhile, my oldest (turned 7 a month ago) is still waiting for his trip there, also promised, but never delivered though she did decorate a little on his b-day w/ balloons that I had around. He asked me when she was going to take him and I just said for him not to ask her again as I guess she forgot and it isn't polite to keep asking. Not sure what else to do here. When my friends had a surprise shower for me, neither SD brought so much as a card. Christmas? Nothing for me or the boys again. Do you see a pattern? And, before you ask, yes, I shop for them, but what I buy is usually returned. One year, I bought the younger one 8 different things FROM HER LIST and every single one slowly but surely was returned. She would ask for the receipt, then had my DH ask for the last ones as I guess she felt embarrassed or something. If my nephews, cousin, sons or someone from my family didn't let me know about dinner, coming home, etc, I'd have no problem not accommodating them or calling their cell phones at midnight to find out where they were. W/ this one, it's a toss up and I am uncomfortable if she isn't home and it's late - worried about an accident. It was the same crap when my SS lived w/ us. Frankly, I haven't MUCH time alone at all and just want to have my immediate family living in the house I built for them. I'm sorry if that sounds selfish to you. I thought this was a forum in which to seek support and vent out our frustrations. I'm sick of houseguests, permanent or temporary, and the lack of consideration that goes along w/ them. As I'm sure I mentioned somewhere, a one bed. apt, as one of my assts. rents in a nice area, goes for $800/mo. My asst. makes nowhere near what my SD makes. My steps could either share a room and let the younger SD's bf have the second bedroom of the rental (which I wish was just rented to some stranger at this point) or, let the younger SD and her bf have the master and this SD have the secondary bedroom. I could get close to $2000/m, but wouldn't be comfortable upping the rent from what I rented to my current tenant, so it will stay where it was. I think I've done my time w/ my steps: the thanks I got from the son was shafting me on the student loan I cosigned for him foolishly, paying his car to this day - though my DH finally got it back, we can't get rid of it in the condition and w/ the miles he left it, and we still pay his cell, hoping to keep a line of communication open which has not been the case for 3 years. I don't want to hold his faults against this SD, but so many things are similar, not that I'd be stupid enough to ever sign another note. I can't change who I am, and I do worry at night when it's late and the steps aren't home. Last night, this one was out til 11:00 this morning. Was I told? No. There are accidents here every day and night on the news - don't tell me not to worry 'cause I do. I had a head-on collision in my late 20's and if my mom wasn't the worrier she is, I might have died waiting on help as I suffered a pneumothorax from a driver who fell asleep and hit me as I was coming home from residency late one night. But, I was responsible and if I wasn't home when I was supposed to be and didn't call, my parents knew something was wrong. Last night, I had confirmation for my CCD class and my oldest son had a b-day party to attend so my SD babysat the younger two for the hour between me leaving and my husband returning. It's the second time in 5+ months that she helped out. When I returned, I said to my husband that we ought to grab a quick dinner alone and she quickly stormed out, "I'm going OUT in 45 min, so if you're going, you better make it quick!" I didn't say anything, just went upstairs and changed. It's not that I didn't appreciate her helping out, but it's the entire attitude she has that is on my nerves. BTW, all of the interior doors in this house were to have the same little wrench that opens them that we planned to keep above the door frames for each bedroom. But, my 4 y.o.'s and the guest room are the only ones that got them. I'm not one who locks her bedroom door, but after having her barge through on Good Friday thinking I wasn't home, I guess I should. Do you think that is OK to do w/ the excuse that she didn't realize I was in there? I guess I'm being unreasonable again? Sorry, but I disagree and now wonder what the heck she was doing in there and how often she did it! Dana