I think people here have gone through a variety of processes for a variety of reasons. I'm not sure there is one "right" answer, but there are probably a number of wrongs. Here's the process we used:

1. Interviewed a number of kitchen designers to get their thoughts on optimizing our layout. Selected one.

2. Came in to the KD we selected with a general idea of the look we wanted. He helped us sort through the options to get there. I believe the KD we used would have done as much or as little in the way of help with materials selection as we wanted. I think we wanted something in the middle.

3. Got bids from several contractors based on the plan we decided on with KD. By the time our contractor got started, we'd selected all materials and appliances except a few minor things like faucets.

I would not have expected our contractor to be making design and materials decisions for us. Many people on this forum have done their kitchens without the help of a KD. I'm not one of them. I was happy for the help our KD was able to give us, and how he saw us through the process.

Hi bklyn24. I was in the same boat as you. I pretty much knew what I wanted done, but didn't know how to begin. There's a kitchen and bath design shop not far from me which I had always thought was way out of my price range. I stopped in one day and spoke to a very nice woman about what I had in mind. She was encouraging without being pushy. She agreed with everything I wanted to do, didn't try to talk me into to something I didn't want. I had decided how much I wanted to spend (plus a little more for the sake of being realistic).

She came out to my house and measured for counters and new cabinet doors, and recommended a cabinet painter. I called the painter who came out and gave me a quote. It was pretty high, about 25% of my budget. My KD didn't think it was out of line. I was worried about how the costs would mount. When her quote came back for new doors/drawer fronts, crown and installed quartz, it wasn't that bad. I thought, maybe this is actually do-able.

Then I asked her what her charges would be. Nothing. She gets a cut of everything I buy through her. I also got my sink, faucet and hardware through her. So it's possible I could find the individual components for less by not going through her, but this arrangement worked for me.

She recommended a couple of GCs who do a lot of work for the design store's clients. One gave me a good estimate for demo, electrical, sheetrock, installing crown and putting on new doors and hardware. I called his references and got glowing reports, so I went with him.

I love my KD. She's kind of motherly and loves my kittens, even when they rummage through her things. I really liked a couple of the subs. My GC is okay. He doesn't listen as well as I'd like, because he thinks he knows what I will love. I think the key is to have everything, down to the smallest detail, spelled out and agreed upon in advance. I could have saved some money if I'd done that. NEVER assume they know what your vision is. Anyway, it will turn out okay.

I'm only part of the way through my reno, but I've learned plenty. I'm single so I'm the one standing up to people if things aren't to my liking. While I think women can do most things they put their minds to, there are times when a male GC will heed another man in his face. Sad, but true.

I agree with sas99. I love my KD. I was surprised how unimaginative my GC is.

Just a couple of thoughts to share:

I wanted (and got) what sas95 got, namely, an independent KD to design the layout and help with materials selection. You could then bid it to different contractors. (I am doing the reno without a GC.) However, in my experience, it was hard to come by an independent KD. At least in my area, most KDs are with design/build firms (which means they do both the design and construction).

Second thought is to get your layout from this forum, rather than from a KD. I am sure this varies with KD, but I found GW better than my KD at designing a functional layout.

In my area (NY metro), most KDs we met with were not design/build firms, but were affiliated with various cabinet manufacturers. We initially had a difficult time finding a KD we liked, both based on the quality (or lack thereof) of their ideas and our not liking/wanting the lines of cabinets they sold.

We finally found someone who had great layout ideas, and though he also sold cabinets, he represented 9 or 10 different cabinet lines, so we felt we had some flexibility in style and price point. He never pushed anything in particular, but gave us a clear idea of what our money would buy us at different price points. I know people here on this forum have had very mixed experiences with KDs, but I had such a positive experience I'd use this person again and again.

Oh, yeah, that is true, too. Even with the independents, I had trouble due to their cabinet entanglements. "My fee is waived if you buy such-and-such cabinets." I wanted a fee-only KD. I found two eventually.

The crucial part of your message was "two small kids...(one just a few months old)....don't have much time left." Given those facts of life, and presuming you live in Brooklyn where it's snowy winter, I think a KD is your best option. Find one you like (so important!) and he/she will guide you through the process. Do come back here often to check specific stuff and get feedback on how it's going or ask questions about products and designs, successes and problems. Everyone here was new to this at one point and didn't have a clue. It's all good. Next year you will be an expert too.

I was in the same boat just a few short months ago! I wish I had more handholding and that I had discovered GW long before things started to take off! I was a complete newbie. We were in the process of house hunting and fell in love with a home that wowed us with the property and charmed us with the cozy layout, but came with an outdated kitchen. At that time, we came into contact with a GC who was highly recommended. DH even revisited this home with the GC to get his input on renovating kitchen and first floor. That's how we ended up deciding to take the plunge and buy it.
All of the sudden, we were given contact info for a KD that the GC recommended. I had no idea what I wanted or what to expect with a KD. After a few meetings with the KD, she came up with a layout for me that worked. I had no idea that was all my GC wanted and that I could have ended my services then and there with her. I'm pretty sure that had I discovered GW before then, that I could have come up with a final layout on my own. Needless to say, I continued to meet up with my KD even tho I quickly figured out what I wanted thru perusing magazines, houzz, pinterest, and, yes, GW.
Meanwhile, I felt locked in with my KD, having not terminated services with her after layout was done. Worst moment in my whole reno was when she offered to go look at granite and tiles with me. Since I knew what I wanted, I felt like she didn't provide any insight whatsoever. It was a 3hr trip that I ended up getting billed for!
Sorry for the long story. It's just that I was in your shoes not that long ago. If you already have a GC that you like, trust and have good references/recommendations for, you may only need a layout drawn for him to work off of. That can easily be done thru a KD (many, including mine, offer to do just that and no more) or, if you're willing to work at it, thru the help of the wonderful people on this forum. If you are also willing to do some research and legwork yourself, I say it's totally doable without the input of a KD. Use this forum and find a babysitter (I have 2 kids... a 2yo and a 8mos old) for those days when you need to run to the stone yard or appliance stores. It really makes the process easier. Plus, I tried to group all my "errands" on just those 2 days a week when the babysitter was available.
Once you have a layout, the GC will have enough to work with. You can discuss specifics like redoing a wall or adding electrics, etc with him as you plan the reno. He will also, likely, have electricians, painters, flooring guys, etc, that he regularly works with or can recommend based on his experience. So, bottom line for me is find a GC you can trust and work with. He's the guy that's going to be around and hands-on for the duration of the reno.
Hope this helps!

To quickly answer another one of your questions... Generally, one of the first things you need to decide after obtaining a layout is cabinetry. After that, I felt like I had a bit more time in deciding countertop, flooring, sinks/faucets, appliances, etc. The estimated delivery date of my cabinets became the key day that everything was scheduled around, with demolition beginning the week before they were actually delivered.
We, too, had a wall removed (widened, actually)... 3 weeks into reno the walls and ceiling are all done and back in/up and cabinets are ready to be installed tomorrow!

I guess the arrangement with KD and GC can differ widely. I'm not paying my KD anything, except for the cut she gets from the stuff I buy through her. So it's probably got that mark-up, but is still within my budget so I don't care that much. Through her I got a discount on my Top Knobs hardware, so the wholesale price must be low indeed if she makes something out of my reduced price. I am working with an existing layout and not going with any additional bells and whistles. I had thought about what I needed for some time and approached her already with mind semi-made up. We pretty much see eye to eye on things. When I didn't care for the pendants she suggested, I bought my own online and she liked them.

What really matters to me is trust in the person working on my kitchen. It's MY kitchen and MY money. My GC isn't a bad guy and so far the work has been good, but I can tell he's trying to save a buck here and there. I want someone to present me with ALL my options so that I can make an informed decision. If I make what ultimately proves to be a wrong choice, it's on me and I can live with it. I'm still annoyed that my GC installed low-voltage cheap Ace Hardware xenon pucks after I mentioned to him on the phone that I was instead considering fluorescent fixtures. I made him replace the pucks with fluorescents and new wiring and we still need to resolve the extra labor costs. Just because his other customers love those pucks doesn't mean this one will. Why do the little things get my knickers in a twist?

Trust and communication can get you through a lot.

Thank you everyone for all the responses! I feel a little bit better, I went into the Ann Sacks showroom after work last night to look and get samples of a couple tiles I like, and spoke to someone there who seconded the choices I was making and thought they would look nice together (broad ideas, anyway).
I feel it's a bit late to start with a designer since we already have our contractor? I will see how our meeting with him goes this weekend and then decide.

FWIW, i do trust him, it's more in the design ideas and having someone tell me that my ideas/choices are good (or not good). I pretty much knew what i wanted before going into this, but once it comes down to making selections, there are so many choices your original ideas can get lost...

Take a look at the many Design Around This threads that are on this forum. Get an idea of how to create a space out of the parts and pieces. Selecting parts and pieces that you love WILL NOT always make a cohesive and well designed space that works with your existing home's bones. That is where a master design---not just a layout---comes in. Practice with the DAT threads to get a feel for a whole composition, not just parts and pieces you love. If you don't feel confident that you can create a space on paper with the many choices available, then you will probably have difficulty in real life.

Take your time. Educate yourself about what would be appropriate in your home. Practice on a design board. Learn if you do have the discernment needed to create your own design. If you don't have the time or are not able to educate your eye, then there is no shame in hiring a design professional. You wouldn't do your own open heart surgery. You'd hire a professional surgeon to do it.

Here is a link that might be useful: Getting There From Here

I feel it's a bit late to start with a designer since we already have our contractor?

Yesterday, you didn't have a contractor (only a "potential" contractor), and today you do have a contractor? So, did you sign a contract last night?

If so, good luck; hopefully he or she will provide exactly what you need, dictated by the terms of the contract you signed. If not, don't rush this! Take the time to get it right! A good design is essential.

There is a distinction between a KD and a decorator IMO. I think bringing a true KD, one who measures, knows cabinetry and ergonomics, etc. is essential to a job. Not that you can't get great advice on GW but there is no substitution for someone being on site and working with the actual space. I had a certified KD because my space was very small and weird and there was no room for error. She was worth her weight in gold and we are convinced she saved us money and frustration with our project. She would also do the decorating part too if we wanted but we didn't since she was not an old house person and just didn't "get" some if it.

In a previous kitchen remodel I did have a decorator help and that was invaluable too. We were both working and didn't have time to search out all our options. It was a surprise remodel because of water damage so we hadn't made a plan ahead of time. She would give us a couple of options, different looks that worked with the house and we would decide. There is no shame in getting professional advice - you don't have to listen and contrary to what some think, it can help you get what you really want.

Professional advice actually saves you time and money. Not to mention the hair that will still be firmly on your head instead of yanked out in frustration!

If you start with good people, they will help you find good products. We started by locking in our preferred contractor team because we have a specific timeframe to work in. I didn't expect them to be a part of the initial design, but there will be finishing touches we'll have to work out together. I then spoke with a few kitchen dealers, both big box and independent, before choosing a lumber yard with a kitchen & bath service. They offered a variety of choices within our budget, in a pleasant, unhurried atmosphere... and I liked the designer. On the downside: This was more kitchen planning than kitchen design, so there wasn't much guidance on lighting or appliances (Thank you GW!)

I TOTALLY agree with others... get your basic ideas together, then return DAILY to GW for inspiration, encouragement and resources. Use the search window at the bottom of the page to find your topic... or simple browse and read. Sometimes the most seemingly random thread will contain a wealth of info. Ask whatever you want, even if it seems silly... someone else is probably wondering the same thing. I would still be in the weeds without the kitchen and appliance forums! And ask your friends for resources. This is the best way to find out which appliance dealer offers good service, which stone yard does the best job, etc.

Good luck:-) The process does get easier as the parts fall into place.

I think it depends on how much you want to be in control and how much control you want to relinquish to others--both have pros and cons. When we redid our master bath last year it was my first experience using a designer so I was clueless about some things, as much as I have always enjoyed design. We picked things out swiftly, just going to one or 2 places she recommended. For example, for the counter she took me to the stone retailer she uses. He had a small showroom/warehouse with samples and I picked my counter from there. I had no idea at the time there were massive stone yards with hundreds of granites, etc...For the tile, I found an accent tile I liked and just went with a coordinating tile the woman at the tile shop recommended to us. And I just used the contractor she worked with. Well, the job took way too long (2 months) and have found out just now with the kitchen reno they did the plumbing incorrectly. Do I like my bathroom? Yes. Is it love, love, love? No. I am using a contractor for my kitchen (we couldnt have done much with it layout wise unless we wanted to tear down walls and neighborhood just doesn't warrant a major overhaul). Contractor also has design experience, but after bathroom designer I didn't want to leave one "stone" unturned. I went to every stone yard and tile place within a 25 mile radius. I didn't want to be in a position to make decisions or pick things out in a few minutes or just from 1 or 2 places. I did use the kitchen cabinet place he recommended and the owner, my contractor and I spent an afternoon at the house going over every cabinet, which features, etc...Some people prefer 10 choices to 1,000 and are happy when a designer says "here are 5 floor samples I think will work" and you pick one. I wanted to get a broader scope of everything available, then choose for myself. I am using the fabricator my contractor recommends. I did all the appliance research myself--with a lot of help form this forum. With an infant, a designer might be the way to go if you are in a hurry to get things done. But I would do some legwork on my own first to get a sense of everything that is out there so you aren't making hasty decisions.

We used our KD primarily for layout. I agree with skyedog that there is no substitute for a knowledgeable person coming to your space, taking measurements and making suggestions that work with the actual space. Our KD was also very helpful in steering us to the cabinet companies that would best be able to accomplish the look we wanted at a price we were willing to pay, and for helping us make selections. I knew I wanted Caesarstone and he carried Caesarstone, so the choosing part was no big deal. But when it came to fabrication and installation, he handled the whole thing and was on site during install so that if any issues came up as to quality or install, he could take care of it.

As far as tile, faucets, sinks, appliances, flooring, etc., I did my own shopping and chose what I wanted and where I wanted to buy it. I could have chosen to go through him, but he encouraged me to go elsewhere, get a good look at my options and save some money in the process. There was no time that I felt like I was making hasty decisions.

I guess it all comes down to the individual designer and how he/she works. I may have paid more for cabinets/countertops using our KD, but the services provided made the extra cost worth it for me. I'm the type of person that believes in getting good professional advice when I'm spending a good deal of money and am not an expert in the thing I'm spending my money on. Like others here have said, I think I saved money in the end on mistakes that weren't made.

We are undergoing a kitchen remodel (as well as other parts of the house) right now. We bought it 2.5 years ago and thought we would remodel pretty soon afterwards. I am soooo glad that we ended up having to wait. The way I would have planned it back when we bought it is so different than what we are going with now.

If you have not yet lived in this house, I would definitely suggest a good KD. Or, if you have the time/inclination, definitely read as much as you can on this forum and ask questions. What I have learned here has helped me create a great layout that has balanced our budget with function/aesthetics. When I went over my plans with the KD from the small cab shop we're getting our cabs from, she was surprised at how much I knew in terms of function/layout.

I also heartily second reading through the 'Design Around This' threads...I created my own design board to help me choose finishes and how they will look together in the space.

Good luck!

sas95, can you recommend your kitchen designer? I am in the NYmetro area as well.

and to answer the question - sorry to confuse - no, we do not *have* a contractor yet. and didn't sign anything last night. What i meant was we already went through ideas and designs with him but no firm obligation to him as of yet. We just took up a bunch of his time already.

Thank you again for all the advice, we're actually meeting with a designer tomorrow to see how it goes...

Bklyn24, we used a firm called Kitchen Solutions in the Bronx. They are a family business, they work all over the metro area and have been around for something like 50 years. Google them, they have a web site. We worked with Mark-- one of the owners. Low pressure, nice guy who really knows what he's doing. They don't do installs, so they work with whatever contractor you select. We were referred to them by a friend who has a really space-challenged kitchen, and they did a great job maximizing her space.

Good luck! We were in the same position as you (having to get the kitchen done before we moved in), so I know how stressful that is.