stressed out from DIY kitchen reno---help me keep the faith.

14 years ago

For those of you who have been there, I'm sure there reached a point when you felt overwhelmed by the kitchen renovation. The constant chaos, the dust, the dirt, the endless amount of work yet to come, the time and money budget going over.....

My husband and I are in the middle of the kitchen renovation. Demo is mostly done (we still have to pull up the subfloor). We have most of the wiring done. Insulation will be going up soon. But every little thing seems to take 5 times longer than planned. Add in the holidays and we are just feeling completely stressed. There is a big piece of me who is thinking, "what have I done?" I'm trying to keep my eye on the prize yet to come in February (or is that March?) but it seems so far away.

One funny sight...the dust is so bad...even though we taped everything off...that the Christmas tree looks like it has been flocked...but it's plaster dust. I'm so glad that we only put lights on it this year and not our good ornaments.

For those of you who have done it, how do you keep the faith?

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Comments (13)

celticmoon
14 years ago
Keep coming here for support.

Keep your humor, e.g. the flocked Christmas tree.

Nurture the team of DH and you.

Think of homeless people or people in floods or earthquakes.

Red wine.
lazy_gardens
14 years ago
Call a halt for a couple of days and go look at some pretty Christmas lights.

Keep track of the milestones ... BIG gold stars on a calendar. Small celebrations at each stage.

Make sure to FINISH things as fast as practical - the wiring done and inspected is a BIG milestone. Almost done is a millstone around your necks.

Prime and paint the drywall as fast as you can after it's up - having a clean "box" to work in, even if it's just cheap flat white paint, makes a big difference.
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kaidan
14 years ago
Honestly take the holidays to totally forget about the kitchen!! It is the best excuse to take a step back.

We got to that point too...right after demo, after insulation but before walls. DH was driving me nuts and vice versa (for no apparent reason besides the reno stress). I would recommend DATE NIGHT!! Helped us to remember it's a kitchen! If things go wrong, they can all be fixed.

Actually, the walls going up themselves helped alot. Because you turn the page from destruction to construction.
golddust
14 years ago
Learn to appreciate the lack of pressure to have everything spotless. Enjoy the dirt. LOL!

I just finished cleaning up the last of the dust, etc from our 2 year DIY remodel and I'm feeling stress already. I have mopped twice this week. What??!!

I got so used to living with all the remodeling mess that I am not sure I can live up to the house post remodel. Now I have to keep it spotless? What else needs torn up?
iceqween13
14 years ago
We have been finished (mostly) for about a month. The reno memories are actually starting to fade! It is definitely worth it but I wondered too at certain points. I agree that once the walls are up and painted - it feels completely different and more manageable. It seemed to go quickly after that.

I found going out to friends' for dinner was a great relief! Just getting out of the house and the mess. Know that you will get it done - it just takes time. Do stuff when you feel you have the energy to do it - otherwise let it go for now. I got so stressed out about small stuff until I read someone's post here that helped me: "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good."

It's going to be great! I am so happy in my cooking and entertaining space now. It almost feels like that's how it always was.

Take care and enjoy the Season!
rhome410
14 years ago
"Next year all our troubles will be miles away" were words to a Christmas song that had me keeping the faith...actually through a few Christmases...Selling our house and then 2 Christmases in a 900 sq ft, cold and falling apart mobile home while we built. That 2nd Christmas we put up the tree on our subfloor in the unfinished house and wore our coats in the unheated house. We set up a buffet of snacks and goodies on a piece of plywood stretched across what cabinet boxes we had in in the kitchen. I had promised our kids "only 1 Christmas in the mobile home," so we refused to decorate in there and kept our focus on where we were headed instead.

Remodeling is a gift and blessing, so look at it that way as Celticmoon advised. Also, the truth is that it seems long now, but as soon as it's finished and you're using the new space, the hassles quickly become a distant memory.

I always tell the kids, if things go too smoothly, there are no 'good' stories to tell or memories to share later!
"Remember when our remodel went so smoothly and got done on time?" ...Boring! ;-)
lisaslists2000
14 years ago
The contractor part of my reno is $25,000. About half of the cost. Does that help? :-)
Lisa
jakabedy
14 years ago
Hang in there! We were in the throes of finishing drywall this last weekend. DH would do the last sanding Sunday AM while I played a church service, then I would come home and start the painting while he played a concert. Once painting was done, we could get three cabinets in, and get the stove (in living room) and fridge (in dining room, but hooked up) back in place. Instead, I had an emergency appendectomy Sunday afternoon! So, needless to say, the appliances are still where they were, with no cabinets in place. DH did a yeoman's job cleaning what he could, but family has arrived, and all are sitting around, slightly dusty, having a good time.

"This too shall pass" is what my grandmother always used to say.
country_smile
14 years ago
That's my motto too: This too shall pass.

Remember, your kitchen and things in the kitchen are THINGS. Love the people around you and find ways to make their day pleasant. Accept the fact that things are a mess now, but it's all part of the process. As you said, keep your eye on the prize.

IMO you're already using one method to cope - humor - with the dust and the Christmas tree. That comment tells me you'll make it through JUST FINE. Looking forward to seeing your finished product and hearing the sign of relief and gratitude after a well-done job. :)
boxerpups
14 years ago
Renovation Sanity Recipe:

100 lbs of HUMOR,

50 lbs of SELF DEPRECATION (to ignite more humor)

20 cups of EXAGGERATION
his helps the humor to be funny to others.

a tablespoon of BAD TEMPER. I know it is easy to dumb all
the bad temper in but use no more than a teaspoon with
loved ones. I speak from doing this recipe BAD TEMPER
almost ruined my reno. Too much can burn the entire recipe.

4 cups of MAKE IT EASY for yourself.
Dinners out, easy meals, visit friends for dinner stop the
hunger. Hungry people can be mean!!!

200 lbs of FANTASY, imagination or creative dreaming
This helps to bond the other ingredients into a visual
plan) Dream about what it will look like with your
eyes closed while sitting in bed. Dream before bed
and when you wake.

50 lbs of GW Kitchens. This is the place to
find encouragement.
Ecouragement is a huge ingredient often over looked.
You can dump in 1000 lbs. It will only help.

100 lbs of BE GOOD TO YOU. This is hard to find. You might
have to shop around or look high and love. You might need
to visit Sephora for perfume, a new lipstick or maybe a
kitchen store to buy a trinket. Bubble baths if you have
running water, a nice walk, yoga, medidate, hug your dog,
paint your toenails, take a nap, put your feet up... Keep
looking you will find BE GOOD TO YOU. It comes in various
shapes and sizes.

1 adult BEVERAGE to easy those vicious moments and put a
smile on your face. Okay maybe three but more than 3 and
you might find the reno gets worked on and things are
not measured correctly.

A handful of MUSIC. Whatever makes you smile Dave
Matthews, B52s, Blk Eyed peas, Outkast, Rollingstones,
Taylor Swift... Doesn't matter just so long as you play
some. Music truly soothes my beast side.

100 SMILES a day Even if you have to force them.
Especially to children who are sort of lost in the dust
a smile helps them see you are not the mean reno lady.

1000 lbs of PATIENCE. I know this to is truly hard to
come by. And for me this was the most expensive part of
my reno recipe. I found myself running out of it all the
time. I lost patience even after I got some. It would
disappear when I saw the dent in the wall, the range
sticking out too far, the floor restaind for the 3rd time,
the unbalanced shelves, the cabinets, the refrig, the
wires getting stuck, the .....AHHHH
I had better stop or I'll run out of the patience I just
got. Don't want to looooose it.

Anyway, You are not alone.
Maybe this recipe can help you.

~boxerpups
ccoombs1
14 years ago
One year ago tomorrow, I was moving into my new home after a 6 year long DIY build. Trust me.....the end WILL get here and someday you will be sitting around, enjoying your new kitchen and all of the stress you are going through now will be only a dim memory. It WILL be worth it.
beekeeperswife
14 years ago
We are looking at our like a hobby. One step at a time. Once we got to the point of being able to use the kitchen, things really slowed down for us. Nothing like a deadline to get you motivated, like the granite templating. Every now and then we need to get some sort of motivation to get back on track. I'm always afraid when we stop for a bit, that we might not get up the energy to go back to it. Well, we are at the point now where it is just trim work to get done. I'm ok with doing nothing on the project over the holidays, although it seems like such a perfect time to do some stuff since we are both home for 2 weeks.

It will get done, don't stress yourself over it. Don't worry about the comments you will hear "You are STILL working on your kitchen?" People don't really understand how much time and energy goes into it. I don't know about you, but ours is being done at night and on the weekends. That's why we aren't finished, and we started back in May.

Enjoy the holidays, clean up what you can. As others have said, this will all be a blur by next year when you are enjoying that new kitchen.
well_rooted
14 years ago
In the middle of building our house many years ago, we went to New Zealand for three months . We had lost steam before we left but when we returned we went at it full speed! We got more done in the 3 months after we returned than we would have accomplished in 6 months if we had stayed.

In May of this year my 92 yr old mother moved in with us...in the middle of renovations. Then my husband's back was so sore that he had to go for surgery. Everything ground to a halt.

Our kitchen is gross (lino pulled off the floor) and sometimes nurses come in to dress my mom's wounds (skin tears when she falls) and it is so embarrassing!!!!

We live in a tiny town and would like to drive out of town to look at or buy supplies. Can't do that. I am so happy to have the internet and this forum!!!

One upside to our situation (and there always are upsides) is that living in a mess means that you don't have to clean...much. I like that.

Another is that we have realigned some of the current cabinetry, etc to give our new layout a test.

Yet another upside is that I am taking my time to decide and feel I am making well informed decisions. No impulse buying.

I recently saw something on TV about women in Pakistan who have had acid thrown in their face. Believe me, any inconveniences we experience are NOTHING compared with what many others deal with on a daily, if not minute-to-minute basis.

I suggest that you get away for a few days. After that, simply relax and try to enjoy the process. It will get done and the feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction will be huge.

stressed out from DIY kitchen reno---help me keep the faith.

Comments (13)

celticmoon

lazy_gardens

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