Feeling little lost, need advise
kassikolo
11 years ago
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bjewell1
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoHouseofsticks
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Just lost my mother a little over 3 weeks ago :(
Comments (11)Hello every one! I would just like to take this opportunity to thank you 3 for your words. Much appreciated! Lulie, Can't imagine how it is to later also loose your 19 year old. Some say it's even "harder" than loosing a parent. Though, in my humble opinion, a loss is a loss. We feel the same hurt and emotions. Although, I obviously miss her very much, I am happy she didn't really suffer and that it was relatively quick. Just felt it was too soon and definitely preventable. Makes me a little angry thinking about it to tell you all the truth. If only she had been willing to see the doctor on a regular basis. Unfortunately that was her own choosing. I realize there was nothing I could have done there. I keep thinking of that point over and over from time to time. I know I shouldn't. To avoid thinking about the "...should have, could have..." scaariios. How did you get from the day you lost your mother/daughter to this day? Just try to take things one day at a time? Keeping busy doing things you normally would have done? Curious. Any one can comment on this btw... Me, I'm just taking it day by day. As I said. Lately, it's just the mornings that are hard for some odd reason. As the day goes on I have an "easier" time. Though, for the past few days, my mornings have been better. Shorter bouts of saddness. Jennmonkey, As I mentioned. I'm presently unemployed so I haven't gone through what you just mentioned yet. Though, when I was working I never called home to my mother. I think it's coming home after work and not seeing her around that might hit me initially. Or not. I don't know. Can I ask you how it was being only 19 and loosing your mother at that time? If it's too hard to talk about I'll understand. I'm just thinking that is about the time you're in University preparing for your life. How for some people it might hinder their ability to function. Especially in such a difficult time. And I though my time with my mother was "short"...39 years. Also can I ask you how old you are now? I just hope I don't suddenly loose control of my emotions at work. Maybe I'm a little old fashioned. That "men shouldn't cry" at least in public. I suppose it's the same either way when you're at work. You don't want your co-workers to think you're freaking out. Going postal. That and you don't really want to tell them all you had recently lost a parent and treat you "special". Any how, thanks again for your comments people! I will definitely keep you posted. I do feel better being able to talk with people who have also lost a family member. It never hits you till it happens to you. Have a good week!...See MoreI feel lost in my life
Comments (5)Is there any reason you can't go back to school now...the SS is in school fulltime (except summer). Why sit home in an empty house? Finish your schooling, work, get into a social setting (office, hospital, clinic) where you'll meet friends and do lunches with co-workers. Not to be mean, but Lady you worked far too long and hard to be sitting home miserable. Sign up for exercise classes if you'd like to meet people who might be walking/running buddies. Share recipes with and start feeling good about yourself. You are special, you count and you sound quite capable of being a every social good friend. Don't waste yourself staring at walls all day. You sound so very depressed. None of my business but if you are taking something for depression that can sometimes snag your sexual interest away (as can just plain a sense of low self esteem and feeling of total despair). While you've done the counseling route, have you had a good physical (blood work, checked for diabetes, blah blah)? It is possible that you are having the hard time 'loving' the SS because of the way your new marriage started out. Kinda placing the blame of your unhappiness on the child? You didn't say you dislike him or that he's a brat child or anything...that's a postive. How do the other children feel about SS and do they all get along? While you may never 'love' the child as you do your own children, I'm not so sure that is really something to feel guilty about. You're good to him, care for his needs...maybe if you get yourself up and out of the house and find some happiness and enjoyment in life you'll find the little guy is kinda likeable. You got smacked from being an active working woman with friends and comfortable surroundings to being the outcast and living in the shadow of a deceased first wife. You felt lost, alone and having serious second thoughts and on top of it all got handed an instant 'son' and told 'here, love him'. How is your anxiety levels. You mentioned several things that could point to problems there. Actually not knowing where a store is located should not be reason enough to not go...perhaps if you really wanted to go you'd figure it out fast enough. Are you using not knowing as an excuse for hiding. Again, none of my business and you certainly do not need to clarify for us, but sometimes depression meds (if you take any) do little for anxiety. It's really all up to you. You can stay and be miserable just as things are. You can explain to husband that you no longer see a need to 'babysit' a school age child (put him in daycare during the summers)and go out and meet the world again, or you can pack up and go back to where you came from and hope you can pick your old life back up again. Your posting was one of the most honest and saddest posting I've read here in quite a while, you poured it out from your heart and I'm not sure anyone here can actually advise you...only you know what you must do and only you can find the strength to do whatever that is. I wish you all the best and hope you can somehow find yourself again....See MoreMy little dog died 9 days ago. I feel guilty and very sad.
Comments (14)Hello everybody, Unfortunately, I am having a relapse triggered by a family fight I had today. As I mentioned in my first post, my relationship with my mom is not good and she is very disrispectful with my stuff and has thrown away very special things to me. Things that I really treasured. Today, I picked up a carped that my mom had removed almost a year ago. She wanted to throw it away, but the carpet was in good condition and I liked it, so I took it to a place to have it washed and storaged. Today I finally got it back home and put it behind a wall in my living room. It was well hidden and it wasn't taking too much room. My mom saw it and started acting like crazy and told me she was going to throw it away tomorrow. I got angry and she started telling me that I had my stuff all over the house, which is not true, and then mentioned that the fact I put my little dog's stuff, like his plate and little bones in the laundry room was a problem for her to. This made me get very angry and I went down the stairs because I wanted to make sure my dog's stuff were safe. suddenly, my uncle, who was at home for a visit, stood up and got between me and my mother because according to him he thought I was going to hit my mom, which is a terrible lie. He dared me to fight and I told him I was not going to accept his attitude in my house. Then he asked me to go outside and I said: OK. Let's go. Next, my brother showed up and my mom to avoid the fight. Then my brother told me he didn't want to fight because he was much heavier than me and that it was going to be easy for him. I said: Come on, let0's do it. And he refused it and said he loved me. Ever since my parents divorced he has interfered in many of my family's issues that are not concer of his and sometimes he has tried to act like the man of the house. Today was the last straw and made me lose my mind. He has brainwashed my mom several times, my mom almost always does what he tells her to do and of course, he usually takes my moms side. All this conflict made me have a psychiological crisis and miss my little dog a lot since I feel very alone again and I have no friend and partner at home to rely on. I really didn't need this since I was starting to feel better about the loss of my beautiful Guyton, to heal, to rearrange my life without suffering too much and feel more peace. On top of that, my Psychiatrist took the liberty to show my mom and my brother my diagnosis file after a visit my mom and my brother made to his office, which was a terrible violation to my privacy and to the confidentiality respect Mental professionals have to have. It's the most basic and important rule. Now, my mom is using this as a weapon and threatening me to send me to a mental hospital because my Psychiatrist also told her and my brother she could do that. It is just unbelievable. He betrayed me and put me in a very difficult position. Specially now that I am trying to overcome the death of my little dog and my mind is unstable. It just looks he also took my brother's and mom's side and they are their patiens not me. Now I am missing Guyton a lot again and their loss became bigger again too. I am lost and sad again. I really hope you can reply to me. Thank you very much in advance for your help and kindness...See MoreI feel lost- help!
Comments (51)If you were to bring Br 5 forward and square off the right-side, that will change the roof. It will be simpler over the bulk of the house which is good, but you have to decide whether you want it hipped all the way around, or gabled across the front. I don't really know roofs, or even if the plan will allow you to do that. But you can ask them! The little roof over the garage is so cute and such a good idea...I've been wanting to do that on our house, partly to help keep weather off the door....See Morekassikolo
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kassikoloOriginal Author