Sweeby, I tend to agree with you. I truely believe my SS is a sociopath. I have researched it extensively and he is dead on. Even to the point that we got puppies for each of the kids last year and he would feed and water his, walk it when the others walked theirs but he never loved on it like the others did. Never smiled at it when it was happy to see him. He was detached. Honestly, that was when I first started to notice he was a little different. He can turn it on, when he knows others are watching, or even mimic others "normal" behavior, he is just different. His puppy didn't grow and learn like the others because he didn't take time with her. When he went to his mothers and said he wasn't coming back, I was at least relieved that I could find the puppy someone to love her. To this day he has never even asked where she is! Was my husband a great father? No. He thought he was, he tried so hard. He stayed in a loveless marriage for 20 years convinced (by his wife and her family) that if he left he would never see his sons again. That is a ridiclous farce! But my husband, while the kindest soul I have ever know, isn't the most intellectual man. He was on his own at age 15 and all he wanted was a family. He endured SO MUCH to keep his family together and while he THOUGHT he was doing the right thing, it was in the end, the absolute worst thing he could have done. Children who grow up in a battle zone, watching their mother belittle their father over and over, watching their mother lose her temper and hit herself in the head, having one affair after another, that is bound to produce some twisted individuals. My husband tried to keep them busy, Boy Scouts, football, basketball, bowling leagues, track...he was at every practice, every game, helped coach..anything he could to keep them busy and focused on something positive. Yes, he feels gulity. I don't bring it up anymore, he talks when he needs to talk and I listen. Last night for the first time, he said, "I should have taken my boys and left when they were little. They would be different now." I know that is true and I know that is why he puts up with so much, he is largely to blame. No, he wasn't a mean father, but he was an ignorant one, either way, his boys are damaged. I feel bad for my SSs and I am very maternal by nature, so I have tried so hard to take care of them. I wonder if maybe there isn't some jealousy there by the 18 year old because he didn't grow up with that kind of mother. His mother is SO selfish! I have never seen anything like it! Well, my SSs....I have loved on him, he and I had one on one "date nights" and days of shopping and lunches like I do with the others, talked about everything under the sun. I just think it is too late... When his behavior affects my children I have to say no more. Some have asked about my 20 year old SS that I have only met twice. Right in the middle of the split between his parents, he "came out". He was 17. He really , really needed understanding and nurturing. He didn't get it. His mother was vested in her new relationship and his father was licking his own wounds. Both adults were selfish and not there for their son in a very, very crucial time in his life. He is still angry and hurt. While my husband now sees his mistake and wants to be there for his son, he is now going to have to wait until his son is ready to forgive him. Which is why my husband calls him very Sunday and leaves him a message, without fail. He tried to live with his mother and her boyfriend and that didn't work out because the boyfriend was calling him a *ag every day! I wish he would give us a chance but he just isn't ready... I saw on FB recently that he was saying he needed money for groceries. I told my husband (who doesn't realy do the FB thing)and he sent him money for groceries. It's a start... Need to add, the SSs do NOT get along! It's just a big mess! : ( I have to leave it all to my husband. He created this situation, regardless of his intentions, it is time for him to step up and take care of his own. I am just going to take care of mine and see in time what develops.

WHile I understand the frustration of you pitted against the DH, I think you made it worse with this "I looked at him and told him he was creating a cry baby by giving into it and I walked away". I'm really hoping SS did not hear/see that and as at a table setting I'm not sure how it could have been very private between you and DH. I'm guessing the other adult friends witnessed this also. I doubt DH or child are non too happy with the incident. You called them both out for all to see. I'm not saying I think you're wrong to want backup and consistent 'rules', punishment ect, but I'm thinking making an issue over the iphone and vid games on it in a setting were games were part of the reason there was your wrong step. Ignoring kid's fit, fine. Quietly pointing out to kid his behavior was silly and all the others were having fun, fine. But putting DH in spotlight and calling kid crybaby in front of all, not so fine. If I read this wrong, please forgive me, I know it's hard to tell a whole story in these small spaces, I'm just going on what and how you actually told us here. I think there are two problems now. 1. Dh is not consistent with SS and sending kid double messages which are 'no', and also 'oh, okay, if you whine about it'...and 2. you put them both in bad light in front of others and DH came out defending son. No win situation. It may have been better to ignore SS fit, and once DH did not by giving kid iphone, it would likely have been better to deal with DH at home in private away from friends and SS. Like being between a rock and a hard spot. There was really nothing you could do, but you ended up letting SS play Dh against you. Yet another reason it likely should have been dealt with later, kid just learned he can win with dad against you by even more crying and whining. Good for him, bad for you. I think it's good long talk time with DH. He's not helping SS and you're ending up being the bad guy.

I have one of the big Rivals that has never cooked at the right temp, another forum I am on we all started to compare ours and every one of found we were having the same problems, there were some recalls listed on the Rival site for some of them but not all. I have had a West Bend CookerPlus since the late 70's and the thing still cooks perfectly, if I get another I will look for one like it. I do like the look of that Hamilton Beach 3in1 but had not heard how well it performed, I may go that route, the 3 sizes is great. My big Rival came with other inserts also but it was never dependable on cooking temps. the 3in1 has good reviews on Amazon, I saw one listed there for $39 but the shipping was high. Thanks for letting us know this is a good one.

If you want to do a soil test at home, there are kits available. It's not as accurate as those run in a lab, but results are usually in the ballpark. If you don't see kits in any of your local garden centers, then order one online. It certainly is a mysterious problem, and I hope you will follow up with how your next planting fares ... and the cause, if it ever is discovered.