I am very sorry to read of your loss. Hold the good memories close.

ML

I am so sorry for your loss; I prayed for you and your family.

I am so sorry for your loss....

So sorry olliesmom. It is hard to imagine when people tell you it does get better, but it kind of does. A different better, but better. I still miss my mom so. She was my best friend. It did take awhile to stop reaching for the phone to call her. It has been 16 years. She passed after a long illness when she was just 52.

Do what you need to do for yourself. For many years on her birthday or the anniversary of her passing I would take the day off work and do something for just me. A day at the spa, a special cut and color, whatever. My mom always thought feeling good was important so it was a kind of way to honor her and remember.

69 is too young, too soon. I'm sorry for your loss, olliesmom.

Dear Olliesmom, I am so, so very sorry. My heart aches for you ... I completely understand when you say your mom was your best friend. I wish you and your family peace and comfort beyond measure. (((((Hugs)))))

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I can only imagine your pain. I am praying for peace and comfort for you and your family, and hope that time allows you to reflect on the wonderful memories of a wonderful mom without the heartache.

Jana

I'm tearing up just reading this. I am so sorry for your loss. My friend just lost her mom suddenly to a heart attack on Halloween at age 72. No matter how and when it happens, it is devastating. I wish I had some words of comfort. She sounds like a wonderful lady - you are lucky to have such fond memories to help you get through your pain.

Sending along hugs and lots of love .... so sorry about your loss ....

My thoughts are with you in this most difficult time. Know that you can come here anytime for moral support. We are here 24/7.
((((Hugs))))

Oh, Olliesmom, I am so very sorry for your loss. I can feel your pain through your words.

Oh goodness. I am so sorry to hear of your sad news. I also know what it feels like. Cancer stole my beloved Mother too. It has been long enough now and all I am left with is beautiful memories of a smart, loving, resourceful and very strong human being. I wish I had half of her energy and drive.

Time is a healer but you will always miss her. (((Hugs))) Initially, I did a lot of journal writing and it helped.

I'm so very sorry to see she lost her fight. I know how hard it is; my dad was the same age :(

I can tell you that it has been almost 7 years for me & I'm sorry to say that when you lose someone that you love that much & have a really close bond with; there will not be a normal again any time soon. I still feel so lost; like a huge piece of me is missing. It's very hard to do the things again that you both loved. My love of gardening; computers & old cars were from my dad. I some how landed on a car board over a year ago & tried to jump in but it's not meant to be yet.

Your dad also will probably never feel normal again either. My mother in law lost her hub a few weeks after my dad passed; they were married 50 years; similar to your parents.. she is also hurting so much. What's worst is that no one understands her pain.

I know Thanksgiving was painful for you & your family & Christmas will be just as painful; if not more. All of the 1st holidays will be painful; hopefully your mom will show herself during these times; so that you know she is still with you. You have to pay attention though.. It may be a song comes on when you're feeling really down; or you could be driving down the street & see a car similar to hers. Even shopping in a store & walking by someone wearing her perfume.

~Hugs

Oh I am so very, very sorry to hear this. I wish I could give you a real life hug. Your mom sounds like she was a very special lady-I have no doubt she's left a lot of love in the hearts of those who knew her.

Please know you and your family are in my thoughts.

I am so sorry for your loss...you and your family are in my thoughts. I am glad you came back here and posted. c

Oh goodness. I am so sorry to hear of your sad news. I also know what it feels like. Cancer stole my beloved Mother too. It has been long enough now and all I am left with is beautiful memories of a smart, loving, resourceful and very strong human being. I wish I had half of her energy and drive.

Time is a healer but you will always miss her. (((Hugs))) Initially, I did a lot of journal writing and it helped.

olliesmom I am so sorry for your loss and the loss to your whole family. Nothing but time will ease the pain you are feeling now and it will probably be years before you stop reaching for the phone to automatically share some trivial thing that the two of you could talk about for an hour...... as you, I talked to my mom daily + 2 or 3, lost her to lung cancer when she was 76, and still have a hole in my heart and life that no one can fill. We go on, we do find joy in life - you will and your dad will, but it will be different.

Olliesmom,

My heart is breaking for you. I cannot imagine how much pain you are in.
I think your mom would not want that, try to smile for her and let her know you are going to be all right.

My heart goes out to you. Thanks for sharing...I believe it helps the grieving process to talk about the loved ones we lose, to keep their spirits alive. And, yes, give yourself time to grieve. Cry all you want...tears are a way to say what the heart is feeling. Welcome their healing powers.

My heart goes out to you. Thanks for sharing...I believe it helps the grieving process to talk about the loved ones we lose, to keep their spirits alive. And, yes, give yourself time to grieve. Cry all you want...tears are a way to say what the heart is feeling. Welcome their healing powers.

I am so sorry for your loss. Please take the time you need. (((hugs)))

Oh, Olliesmom...
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you had some good times with your Mom after she stopped the chemo, and it sounds like she was very special. Because you were close, you probably feel this loss many times a day right now, but I think, in time, this acute pain will lessen, and be filled with loving, less sad times.

Grieving is so personal, so allow yourself the time to do that, and you WILL come out on the other side...God's grace be with you and your family.

Oh Olliesmom, I'm so sorry. It sounds like she was a fabulous woman. Give yourself time. I once read that grief is your connection to your loved one, so there is no need to rush through it. Just let yourself be in it....

Olliesmom, I give you credit for posting this, I don't know if I could do it. Nothing anyone says will help. What will get you through is the little stuff like getting food and having to run errands, they keep you moving when you feel like going to bed and never getting up. Talk often to your family members and take all the support you can get,you'll need it. The love of a mother and daughter is like no other and can never be replaced. The pain is crippling at times. I offer you my sincere condolences and pray that you feel your Mom around you, she's just in another dimension but she'll always be with you.
God bless both of you.

Olliesmom, I am so very sorry. My heart goes out to you. When we are lucky enough to have had a loving mother, with whom our happiest childhood memories are bound up, and who is still our best friend, the loss and grief are nearly unbearable. Time will indeed soften your pain, but you are entering a "new normal" in your life, as the pain never entirely goes away. You will learn how to cope, though.

My mother died nineteen years ago (she was 88), and there are still moments when I cannot stand the thought of never seeing her again. If I could have one wish fulfilled, aside from constant good health for my children and grandchild, it would be to see her again, even if only for a short time. It has helped me a lot to keep some of her things around, and sometimes I talk to her. That helps.

As others have said, please allow yourself to grieve. If tears come, allow them to flow. The first year is the hardest, but you will get through it. Be strong for your father; he needs his family now. And come back to us - we understand and are here for you.

My deepest condolences,
Sable

You all are so VERY kind, and I have read and reread each post. I wasn't sure if I should post about her, but, I am glad I did now. I am taking to heart each word. Really.

I am taking time to grieve, as hard as it is, I feel my mom is worth the time to get through this. Of her three kids, she was worried most about me in the end. I hang on to each word she said, and they haunt me at times, but, as some of you said it will get easier with time, I know. I see some of you have gone through the same thing, sadly, and know how I am feeling, even though, you are right, I will have a new normal, someday.

We are taking special care of my dad right now. Going out to dinner a lot, which in itself is so hard to be there without my mom next to him, and then he goes home to an empty house with reminders of my mom all around is so painful, but, we all know he will get through it.

Don't mean to bring everyone down, but, just know that it helps to read your words, for some reason.

Olliesmom - I am so sorry for your loss. (((hugs))).

This breaks my heart. I hope all the memories of good times and knowing what joy you brought to her during her lifetime are a comfort to you. My mom is 95 and going strong, but I know no one lives forever. I try to imagine life without her, but I cannot. Warm hugs to you.

Oh, Olliesmom, there are so many words I would like to say, but everyone else has said them. I am sorry you had to go through this when your mother was still so young. It certainly sounds as though she was well-loved as were all of you by her and that is a treasure to hold close. My deepest sympathies to you, your father, and your family.

Dear Olliesmom,

This is indeed a sad time for you and your family. Just try to remember all the good times you shared, you have a lifetime of memories to hold in your heart.

You don't know this - but every time you posted and I read your screen name I thought of my own Mother who died over 10 years ago. Her name was Ollie and I smiled every time I saw "Olliesmom" on a post. Your sadness has touched all of our hearts - unfortunately losing a loved one is something we can all share. I'll remember you in my prayers.

Olliesmom I am so very sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you and your family and will keep you in my prayers.

Olliesmom, I can feel your pain when reading your words and am so sorry for your loss. How wonderful you have the relationship with her that you have. I say it like that because I'm sure she is close by, watching over you and embracing you all. You and your family are in my prayers.

I believe in a spirit world where our loved ones know when we are thinking of them. They do not want us to be sad but also do not want to be forgotten. There are things you can do to make your mom happy, things you did together. It's ok to talk to her silently to feel close. You could speak to her vocally but people might start looking at you out of the corner of their eye lol.

Olliesmom, I'm so sorry for your loss. How lucky you were to have such a great relationship. Please take care,

Beth P.

I didn't read the other responses because I can't. I still mourn my sweet Mom and Dad too much. Just wanted to know that I understand your pain and that I'm thinking of you. Just put one foot in front of the other. Day by day you will function. I understand the heartbreak, and it seeming so sureal. I was so close to my Mom too. My pain came in waves and still does, just less often. I'm just so glad we had each other as I know you are too. Take care of yourself.

((((((hugs))))) to you. I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.

Oh... marie cate, that is so sweet! What a cute name your your mother had, if I say so myself.

jerilynn, I do believe that also!

bestyears, I told my dad what you wrote above when I met him for breakfast. Thank you, it helps.

Thanks to all of you.

(((((hugs)))))

I am sorry I didn't post sooner. I haven't been around very much lately either. Going through the same grief. My father died suddenly in July of a heart attack at age 66. I was numb for a while, and some days I couldn't even bring myself to even make dinner for my family.

Anyway, take my 'virtual hand' and my 'virtual hug.' It hurts like hell, only because we loved them so much. How lucky to have loved her so much and have had such a special relationship with her. Death cannot break that bond. It will always be in your heart, just a little different.
Wishing you the best and as much peace as you can find this holiday season.

I'm so sorry, olliesmom. Thinking of you.

olliesmom, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May the wonderful memories help you get through this very difficult time. Time has a way of helping, and that doesn't mean you will stop thinking of her, but at some point, she will not be the first thing that crosses your mind when you wake up in the morning. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my parents. I lost my dad when he was only 54, and my mom at 65.

Everything she taught you is what makes you the woman you are today and that will never ever fade.

Bee

Losing a parent is such a difficult thing. Thank you for posting this - it made me pick up the phone to call my own mom and take a moment to appreciate my blessings.

Wishing you a soft shoulder in this difficult time.

So hard to be without your mom...you still need her. I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry for your loss, Olliesmom.

I do not even dare to wonder what that day will be like.

polly, if you posted about your dad, I must have missed it, so very sorry! I have been busy with my mom for awhile, but, did think I read most posts on here. I know how you feel, except for the fact, my mom's death wasn't sudden. So young for your dad, too.

My mom was golfing, gardening, and enjoying life and then we find all this out-totally changes your life, especially hers of course. She only had a cough, but felt great otherwise. We almost wish we didn't know, because then that is all we thought about. So hard to REALLY live, when you know you don't have long to live. I admire those people that can embrace life when they know they are going to die soon. We just never could be happy, knowing that. Tried though.

bee, your parents were so young too. How long have you been without your parents?

daisy, I still have my mom's voice mail on my phone, and have listened to it occasionally. I think that's the hardest part. Miss that voice. Somehow, I want to save it, don't know if that's possible.

Tina, I knew about your mom, by the comments you have made on here about her, and I thought we had the same kind of relationship, so I have always had an instant connection to you about that. It seemed like you and you family all live close by also. I secretly knew that if you were doing okay, I would too.

I know it seems I am really having a hard time, but, I really am doing okay, surprisingly. I can even sleep at night, which totally surprises me. It was just REALLY REALLY hard yesterday, walking in their house-it's just all her, she was a wonderful decorator.

I just want to thank EACH of you personally for your comments, even if I didn't get back to you personally, I know what you wrote.

Joanie, I am thinking about you.

olliesmom, thanks for asking. My dad died 27 years ago come this January. An odd feeling was the day I realized he was gone longer than I "had" him. I was only 23 when he died, it was 3 months before my wedding. My mom died in 1999, and at least my children got to know her, my youngest was in 1st grade when she died, so he does remember her.

Try to change up any routines this holiday that will make things even harder on you and your dad. Meaning, if you and the kids were always at their house for dinner on a certain night, switch it up, change the tradition, have that meal at your house. It won't make you forget her, but it will take the burden off of "mom used to do this, but now she isn't" type of thing. In my case, I was a newlywed on that first Christmas, and I had spent every Christmas of my life at that one home, but that first Christmas after my dad was gone, we had my mother come out to our place. It would have been too hard to carry on that tradition of having Christmas at her house. Another thing that might catch you off guard...your birthday. First birthday that my mom was gone was very sad for me, she was always "the one" who called me first and never forgot.

It's a difficult time and grief really doesn't end, it just comes in less frequent doses.

I hope you and your dad can find peace during this holiday season.

olliesmom, I've not been on GW much lately, and I am so sorry to read of the loss of your DM. Like you, I am very close with my own DM, talk on the phone sometimes more than once a day, and my own DM is truly the person I am closest with. When I read what your wrote about your DM being worried about how you would be with her loss, it really hit me, because that is exactly how my own DM would be feeling about me.

Every day has got to be very difficult at best. Just doing the normal things one must do daily, especially caring for your own DS, must be exhaustive at this time for you. I hope your support system is as good as it can be at this time.

The advice to grieve in your own time is spot on. Everyone grieves differently, but the closeness you had with your DM, must make her loss very hard for you on any day, but with the holidays on the horizon, I cannot begin to imagine.

Please accept my heartfelt condolences. Sending you a cyber hug.

Dear Olliesmom, I'm so sorry to hear about losing your Mom. I lost mine to lung cancer as well...coming up on 3 years in Feb. She and I were also very close, and her passing has torn a huge hole in my life...which I am gradually learning to mend. No one made me laugh as much as Mom did, and while I miss that terribly, I so appreciate her teaching me the importance of enjoying life.

I always remember the words from Mitch Albom who said that just because someone dies, it doesn't mean your relationship with them ends...it's just that that relationship changes. Since Mom passed, I have learned things about her that I didn't know before from people who loved her. I have found things I needed among her things which are gifts that she's still giving me, and I have found ways to continue to feel close to her, including spending time doing the things we enjoyed doing together. At first, I couldn't do it. But with time, I am now able to, and bring her with me in my heart. So she is still very much a part of my life and will be for the rest of my life. I'm sure your Mom will be with you as well.

And I'm always most thankful to have had a wonderful mother and such a close relationship to her...many people have not been so fortunate. So however soon it seems she was taken from me, I know I've been far more blessed than most.

Don't question the why of her passing. It happened exactly as it was meant to. The universe is perfect as it is. If it weren't, it'd be different. So we have to trust that it is as it was meant to be.

Grief is like waves. They first hit you suddenly, frequently and so hard that they toss you over. But with time, know that the waves become calmer, they come less frequently, and soon you will be able to stand when they hit. Eventually, they become almost gentle reminders of times and things you've shared in the past. But it takes time. And for each of us, it takes as much time as it takes. Miss her, grieve for her, and then let it go.

I was very much helped by the grief guided meditation that meditation oasis provides. I'm posting a link below in the hopes that it will help you heal sooner as well.

You have my deepest sympathies and my best wishes for courage, strength and comfort in this most difficult time.

AnnieD

Here is a link that might be useful: Grief Meditation: #26

Olliesmom, I am so, so, so very sorry. I can very much relate to your relationship with your mom. She is also my best friend. My dad died when I was 13, so she is one of the few family members I have left. I dread thinking about the day she will be gone.

My wish for you is to get "visits "-- symbols and signs to remind you of her love, that give you peace.

My heart goes out to your family. Thank you for sharing -- not easy.

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. It's just a loss like no other, and I agree, it does get better, but some days you just never know when grief can still pop up. I just have to go with it when it does.

I also lost my mother to lung cancer 4 years ago when she was 85.