You stated he's a 'slow poke' and plans to marry this girl 'someday'. Until, if, he decides 'someday' is 'now', I suggest waiting. Check out the options (color, melting current settings, etc) with the jeweler as stated so you have information should he ask, but until you are 100% sure they are going to marry, IMO, it's best not to say anything to the girl. She may get tired of waiting!

Why not wait until their first anniversary? safer that way

most girls these day are into platium setting (too cold for me) and that's really higher end...most precious metals are really high (with the economy these days) so i'd wait till ds is really committed, and then have him offer the existing rings as is, or to be reset...lets hope the prices level off....

I had my engagement diamond reset. Well, DS paid to have it reset for his intended.. Engagement didn't last, and was glad I got it back. Reset it into a necklace for ME!

Just make sure, in this day and time, if a "breakup" happens, that it goes back to your son.

Yours sound like old mine or rose cut stones. You should have them appraised before you do anything. I doubt 'brown' diamonds are valuable

After our son gave up the idea of a cigar band for his intended, we volunteered a simple platinum setting we had, and she and he chose a round diamond. Not everyone wants a diamond, but for wear on the hand or wrist one of the harder stones is best: diamond, ruby, saphire.

My engagement ring was my great-grandmother (my namesake). could not tell you the cut but it is a round stone and when i clean it, it make beautiful prism lights on the wall. Eric had to ask my mom for the ring. I made it clear LONG before I ever started dating that when I got married, I would have that ring (remember trying it on when I was little and my parents would leave me home alone for short periods).

The band had to be "reshanked" because several of the prongs were missing and the ring part was bent. Eric spent about $200 to get everything fixed in 1998. The original metal was platinum and the jeweler used gold for the repairs so it looks a little off if you look very close (guess we should have sent my mom to get it worked on, we didn't know any different!). Of course, if anyone gets that close, I am libel to hit them! LOL

I would recommend that there be some type of written agreement over the status of the ring should anything happen to the marriage and that the ring will be passed down your son's side of the family if they do not have kids. Since my ring was already in my family, that will never be an issue (well that and I wouldn't trade Eric for anything!).

Hope this helps,
Janie

oh, and within 2 months of me getting the ring, I promptly bend the ring in the same place my great-grandmother bend it! Guess our hands are shaped similar.

I was wondering if you had another child who might want some of the family stones. Not to be pessimistic, but the way marriages end so quickly these days, I'd hold off on passing on family jewels. You might want to pass them on to a grandchild, who would always be your grandchild, whereas DILs may not always be DILs.

I think the newest trend I've seen in rings is titanium. Don't know how it would look with a diamond...

I agree with Jayokie, but I see asking here as doing part of my homework.

They have been dating about 3 years now, and he is in his early 30s. I told him, and only him, of the existence of these stones so that he would be able to make an informed decision himself when the time comes. He has asked his married sister and me a few questions on the practical side of purchasing a ring, but that is pretty much it.

I am just looking for input from people who have reset family stones here. I assume one can learn from people with professional and practical experience here at the KT.

The existing rings are old, out of style, and not special. Some stones have been removed from some of them. Some are clearly men's large pinkie rings.

I know that Carol Channing would give him much different advice, that there are far more expensive ways to go, that most girls do love above 2 carat main stones, 3 or 4 if possible, and that platinum is IN. But I am trying to help a son make a decision that is right for his bank book, their home purchasing plans, and the love in his life.

I just want some jewelry advice, that's all.

The commitment is there already. I just am gathering knowledge.

Boy, I wouldn't jump too quickly to give those diamonds away to someone who wasn't born into your family. With the statistics on divorce, you could be giving away your family history and it could completely pass out of the family.

Even if the marriage does last, how well do you know this girl? My mother gave my brother her diamond for him to have made into an engagement ring for his wife. They spent a lot of money on the new design, and a custom band to match it. And my SIL then LOST her set--much as I love her, I have to say this--she was extremely careless of it (left it in the washroom in the urban hospital where she works--obviously, her rings were gone when she returned to look for them). That was years ago, and it's been a source of guilt for her ever since.

I'd strongly recommend holding onto those stones/jewelry, and letting your son have them made into an anniversary ring on their 10th anniversary. By then, you'll have a better idea whether the marriage will last, and if this girl is the kind who will wear your family heirlooms with pride and respect for them.

More responses to this conversation--

DD's FIL is a surgeon, missindia, and he warns against titanium, so we will avoid it for now. His son wanted a wedding band made of it, but his dad, the surgeon, warned that in an accident, the proper equipment to cut the ring off a damaged finger may not be quickly available. Titanium is very strong.

Our other children have had some of the diamonds also. We have plenty of stones to go around. No one is being forgotten or left out. I am seeking advice for this situation only--desiging a ring set.

I'm not sure what kind of input you are looking for.

I've had family diamonds reset. I would first get the stones graded and appraised.

Some older stones aren't as valuable because of the cut. Some older stones are actually more valuable because of the cut. You need an expert to tell you what's what.

Most jewelers will be happy to show you what settings are available. A talented jeweler can custom make a design.

If it was my son, I would suggest he let his fiance pick the setting. No reason to give her a ring that she doesn't like. He can use a stand-in ring if he wants to surprise her with 'the question'.

(I also don't think that many girls actually get 2 carat diamonds.)

Best wishes to them both!

ML

Here is a link that might be useful: engagement ring settings

The brown tinted diamonds might be what's called 'champagne' diamonds. Normally any diamond that has a yellow or brown tint is not valuable unless it's an intense yellow or fancy yellow. My jeweler thinks it's sad that 'black diamonds' are now being marketed as a real gemstone.

It might be worth your while to have the jeweler appraise the stones. Chances are your son and future DIL would want to insure the ring and it's much easier to set a value when the stones are loose. Are the little diamonds really chips or might they be tiny cut diamonds from a pave setting? I have a diamond bracelet from the 1920's that is all rose cut stones and it's as sparkly as a regular round stone. It all depends on the quality of the stone and how well it is cut.

My sister in law used family diamonds and she used the largest single stone in a traditional single stone engagement setting. Then she had 2 wedding bands - one was plain without a stone and she wore that every day. The other band was made with lots of pave diamonds and she would wear that with her engagement ring when she was dressed up.

Perhaps you could ask your jeweler if he would take the old gold shanks as a trade in on a new setting. That might be less expensive than having him melt them down. I guess it depends on whether he does that type of custom work. I wonder if your son has any idea if she would prefer a yellow gold setting or platinum. It does seem like most young brides are opting for platinum these days rather than gold.

My DGS finally found "The One" and talked to his DM (my DD) about deciding on a ring. My DD had some similar stones and suggested he discuss it with the GF. Good thing he did. Her tastes are very different and she only wanted something very simple, no stones at all. So the two of them shopped together (after the proposal) and the ring they chose is a beautifully simple design. They have now shopped for and have the wedding bands, also a simple design but based on heritage. The wedding will be May 1st.

Best to talk to the girl.

Sell the stones and any bands to a reliable dealer and use that $$ for a wedding gift.

Sue

I had a ring made from a variety of diamonds, of different sizes (the largest is .5 carat). Some of the stones were from the original engagement ring my father gave to my mother in 1945; some were from my ring from my first (deceased) husband; some were gifts from relatives. There are 14 diamonds in the ring, in a 14K yellow gold setting. I had the ring designed and made by a reputable (and pricey) jewelry store, and I paid $500 back in 1987. The jeweler chose not to melt down the original settings--I don't know if there was a reason for that decision.

The stones you have should make a beautiful ring, and I'm sure she will cherish it. Good luck.

Oh I forgot - congratulations! I know it's not official yet but I would still like to pass along wishes for a long and happy marriage. And I love the idea of being able to use family jewelry. There weren't any diamonds in our family that we could use and my poor fiance worked an extra job and saved for a long time to buy the best stone he could afford... and still pay his rent and tuition. It sounds like your son is smart, sensible young man. Good luck.

Sheilajoyce, I didn't know what those dark-looking rings were - I had to ask someone! I knew they used titanium in surgery but not jewelry! (I work as a temp for a School of Medicine) What will they think of next?! Every jeweler I have ever worked with has empty settings or can design a special one just for your son. One that has a good selection of ready-made settings is Jared Jewelers. You can take your stone in and sit with them and they will hold it with a tool over the setting where you can get an idea of what the stone would look like in the setting.

My original wedding ring is in gold, which I love, but I wanted a platinum one to go with a watch I purchased on an international flight. I found the most beautiful custom ring and while I love it, it needs to be re-sized down which will cost another $200 because of the special blade they use and then the polishing. So right now it's sitting in the Safe Deposit Box.

Yes, the small and tiny diamonds are all cut, mcmann. I kept calling the colored diamonds "champagne" too, but need to find out from the jeweler.

Wanda, I wonder if they will choose to do what you have done. Your ring sounds pretty.

I will do my best to inform my son and then let him decide how much to include her. I vote for full inclusion as this is a ring she will wear the rest of her life and will encourage him to do so, but I am not the one calling the shots here. With my adult children, I give input and then back off. They are great kids and I have to realize that there is more than one way to do things.

I know this is totally your business but I personally would wait to give away family diamonds. A 10th, 25th anniversary, maybe to a grandchild. I know they are only material items but they are built to last a lifetime and very few "things" last that long. I would have patience.
His fiancee might like her own ring anyway, to begin with.
I can see your excitement to share this with him, maybe she will see this as the most wonderful gift ever.. Best wishes for their future.

Others have similiar thoughts as I do..I'd want to keep them in the family.

patti

I'd have them appraised and go from there. The one-carat would work for the ring of my dreams. A wide gold band with the diamond in the middle. That would be for a wedding band. IMHO, I don't see a need for an engagement ring. But it isn't gonna happen for me since I can't wear metals. Bah!!

Before you reset them you might want to get them appraised. They might be worth MORE in the original settings then reset in modern settings. If you want to keep them in the family, keep them in the original setting. If they don't mean that much to you, then sell them and let him use the money toward a new ring. Who knows, she might be into the antique setting.

If the settings aren't worth anything then reset just the big stones. Your jeweler has catalogs where they can pick out mountings that will fit the stones. The tiny stones, especially the chips, wouldn't be worth resetting. It cost a lot to have a stone reset. I know I have had it done twice. Here is a place you can order mountings from and see all the different styles.
Wish them luck.
Clare

Here is a link that might be useful: Tripps mountings

I got my grandmothers diamond ring when I turned 13. I babysat all summer to buy a new setting for it. The ring according to her wishes was to go to her first granddaughter on her 13 birthday. True to their promise to her they gave it to me. It was in a very tall dated empire type setting, and I had it put into a pretty flower type setting at the time that I paid for with my own money.
When I had my hysty surgery at age 30, I had to have it cut off and resized. It had never left my finger and was a size 3-1/2. I had it sized to a 7-1/2. I literally grew up around that ring.
It is an old miners cut diamond, and is very special to me and I wear to this day. It will go to my oldest daughter when I pass on.
My youngest daughter will get my diamond heart necklace that belonged to my mom, (another story there) that I have worn since her death, and my wedding ring.

If it were my DIL to be, I wouldn't hesitate to give a family diamond to your son for her. If they are not being worn and enjoyed by anyone else why not?

I think it is a very kind and thoughtful gesture. I think it would mean more to me that way, but not all girls think that way in this day and age.

Just my take on the family jewelry.

Trin

My brother-in-law is a Certified Master Bench Jeweler. (That's the highest and best designation a jeweler can get.) Bench jewelers are the ones who actually design and make custom jewlery. B-I-L has told me previously that he would never take an old setting and melt it down to make a new setting from it. I don't recall the details, but it has something to do with the quality of the metal being degraded when that's done.

I wouldn't chance the marriage not working, and I wouldn't insult the bride to be by asking her to sign anything about returning it if they broke up. You don't start off on a negative note. I have several of my GM's diamonds--one being a little over a carat. There are several rings, and I intend to give them to my GDs. If I had given one to my son it would have been disasterous since his marriage did end in divorce. Just my opinion, but I intend to keep mine in the immediate family.

"...he would never take an old setting and melt it down to make a new setting from it..."

It is risky (I had to sign a waiver), you can end up with pits in the finished product. After my mother died my father asked if it would be ok if he kept their rings and made something for himself. I found a jeweler to melt down both their wedding rings, he engagement ring, and her anniversary band. A lot of gold was added and a heavy ring was made for my father with all the stones added.

When I got married 30+ years ago my mother gave me my Great Aunt's wedding ring. It had a good sized diamond in the center and five smaller diamonds around the edges. Since it was very old, the cut of the stones was old fashioned too. But I always loved it and was proud to have it.
After a few years we had the ring remade. The jeweler used the gold from that ring and added lots more so that my husband and I could each have a ring. The large stone went into my ring and the 5 smaller stones into his. We've now had them for over 20 years and still love them.

Any talented jeweler can find or design a setting that you like, so the answer to your question is 'yes'. Colored stones can be very beautiful and contemporary. When the time is right, I'm sure your son and his fiance will enjoy taking the stones to someone who can help them chose the right thing, whether it's a wedding ring or a pendant. Your son might not be into this right now, but it's likely that his girlfriend will be. He might surprise you too and want to be part of the process.

A well cut diamond is a good stone forever until is gets damaged usually by chipping. Your round cut, brillaint stone is probably a standard cut often referred to as a SRB cut or Standard Round Brilliant. The SRB has 16 sides (girdle facets), Pavillion (bottom part) facets: 16 meeting the gridle plus 8 more mains; and Crown facets: 32 facets plus the table, for a total of 57 facets not coumting the girdle facets. Since its development, this cut have proven to be excellent and is the standard by which other cuts are measured. A 1 caret SRB diamond is an excellent (and expensive) engagement stone. It looks very good mounted on either gold color or white platnium.

Diamonds are graded by the 4 Cs: Cut, Clarity, Color, and Caret. Water clear, transparent, with minimum to no flaws are the most desireable with exception of certain colors. Some of world's most expensive diamonds are blue and pale yellow. I suspect that your stones with a brown cast would be downgraded. However, let your jeweler be your guide. One can not grade a stone without seeing it and inspecting it under magnification. The person who grades your stones ahould have trained at, and hold a certificate from the GIA (Gemeological Instutite of America).

Sorry I'm no help ... just happy that your DIL (-to-be) has a MIL (-to-be) who loves her and wants to give her such a precious gift!

Hugs,
Pranjal

I have had a family diamond for the last 43 years - My DH's grandmother gave it to us. There were 3 diamonds in the ring and I got one of them. I suspect the other two eventually went towards paying for her nursing home. I've had it reset a couple of times and it will go maybe to my son for my grandson. It was a 19th century ring that the jeweler almost cried about taking apart(but GM insisted) and it is an old cut diamond but has lots of fire. I've always loved it.

I have a ring that belonged to my mother, she gave it to me one time when she was home for a visit. Said, she wanted to make sure i was the one to get it. It has three rather large diamonds standing next to one another on a wide band. I have three granddaughters and when i'm gone each one of the granddaughters are to get one of the stones to do as the wish. Mom had gave my brother some important family items but she now knows if something happens to him the family will never get it back. ( They never had children)