I couldn't wait for my hair to get even more grey ! It started years ago with the pretty wings at the temple . I knew what was coming as Momma's hair had done the same.

I wear it even shorter than Jamie Lee Curtis and mine is more silver. My hair is extremely thick and I get it cut every 3 weeks. If my luck holds out it will be the color of Ellen Levine's in the link above . Both Mom and Dad's looked like that when they were in their 70's-80's.

I only wear shades of gray and black and white ...sometimes an accent color. I get so many compliments especially when I have a good tan or the rosy color from a day out running like yesterday.

I think it is a very individual thing. I have a couple friends that have very long grey hair and have had it since they were 30's-40's. They both look more like witches as the years go by...I love them dearly but they look terrible now that they are 60.

No one ever believes how old I am ...I think it is a feature of behavior, dress, the way I carry myself and good genes.

There is no way to make a blanket statement about grey hair. Some women and men look wonderful with it and others do not. As the pics that natal linked show, when it works it really works. c

Here's a website that might give you some insight and encouragement.

I'm in my mid-fifties and in month 10 of going gray. I was fairly blonde, put in highlights and never looked back. Part of the reason for stopping coloring was that my hair had begun thinning. Now that I'm no longer coloring my hair is much healthier. But stopping coloring at mid-40's is different than mid-50's. I'm now content and the savings are great. My friends all comment that it looks nice and they wish they could make the transition, but they're just not ready. To each her own!

Here is a link that might be useful: goinggraylookinggreat.com

You can always go back to coloring if you can't stand the gray. Only you can decide whether the societal pressure to look as young as possible for as long as possible is something you can deal with though. I'm in my mid-fifties and have never colored (I don't count that little experiment when I was twenty). The upkeep would drive me crazy. My hair is about fifty-fifty now. I'm okay with it.

I'd love to go all gray but have doubts about doing so. I am over 50% gray and it's getting harder and harder to keep it covered. I am in my mid-forties but have a baby face due to being "traditionally built" (Any No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency fans out there?) People often think that I am younger. DH is ten years older and has very little gray. Grr.

I really go gray at the temples

:

Natal great inspirations. And Emmylou is gorgeous at 64 years old!

Homebodymom - Yes I get tired of doing it, but look terrible with gray hair. Do you color your own hair or have it done professionally? It is a pain to sit in a salon for two hours getting a root job - I just don't have the time. I do my own roots and even my hairdresser says it looks as good as hers. I have to do my roots at least every four weeks.

I am a medium to dark brown and use the Clairol permanent Medium Neutral Brown from Sally's Hair Supply with the appropriate neutralizer. IT IS DIFFERENT (BETTER) THAN THE WALMART STUFF! Just bought a little bowl and cheap root brush - easy as can be. The plus is, it not only saves me a ton of money, but I can do it at midnight or five o'clock in the morning.

I also use a salong semi-permanent Redkins Shades, Cherry Cola, all over every other time (about every 8 weeks) to liven up the overall look.

And when I am really pushed for time and need a cut also, I let her go ahead and do the pro job for me to keep me on the right track.

Oops - "salon" not "solong".

I am closing in on 50 and am letting my dark brown dyed hair go gray. I guess I finally got serious about reading the labels and decided it was pointless to eat organic food and replace all the chemicals in my household with green ones if I was going to keep dumping all that stuff on my head. And it's not like it's only a couple times a year. It's close to every 4 weeks. I am super curious to see what my real color is, I've been coloring so long I have no idea. I've seen too many women my age whose hair color just doesn't work that well with their changing skin tones. I guess I felt like if I wasn't going to invest the money in a professional dye job I might actually be one of 'em. Right now I'm not enjoying the skunk stripe but have found ways of pinning my hair back that make it less obvious. I did look into less toxic hair color and talked to a colorist at an organic salon but even if its safer it's still expensive and a big hassle. I am okay with my age and want to see what the real me looks like.

The only gray's in the link Natal provided that I truly like are the one's where the women have lowlights mixed with the gray. Those women look elegant, not "old."

I love Emmylou, but sorry, her hair is just awful. Hey, I believe in natural as much as everyone else, but not at my age. lol

Bottom line is, some women can get away with it, other's simply cannot.

OK, this topic is right up my alley! I had a few grays starting in my 20's, mostly at my temples. I wear my hair short (usually not as short as Jamie Lee Curtis) and have some natural curl and wave. I have progressed to at least 50/50 at this point. My natural color is a very dark brown/black. I use the "purple" shampoos to keep my hair bright and shiny. My hairdresser always comments on how she can tell I use them.

I get many compliments at work from patients and their families, out in public , etc on my hair. I am pretty sure this would not be happening if my hair were colored. I think I am fairly youthful for my age (55) and many are surprised to find that I am that old. Having kids later in life does make people assume you are younger than you are though!

I will say that when it is time for a haircut, I can't put it off. With the texture of my hair, those wirey grays (and blacks) are hard to control. Then I feel like an old lady with the a bouffant hairdo.

I think part of this answer also depends on your own personal image. Do you fade into the crowd and not seek attention, or do you walk self-assured, head up high? My kids always threw a fit if I ever mentioned coloring my hair. Not sure if they thought I would come back a blonde or what. What does your family think?

IMO Emmylou is a knockout and her hair is part of that look. Most of those women are lovely and part of that is great skin and great bone structure. I started seriously graying in my mid 20's and I'm well past 75% gray now. Most of my gray is as white as can be but mixed with what's left of my natural medium/dark brown and the gray that is really gray not white and its not a pretty picture with my skin tone. When I get behind in coloring I get a brutal glimpse of what I'd look like if I let it go and so I will be coloring my hair for the time being. When I begin to feel as old as I'd look with all gray, that's time enough to stop. Just the other day I read that Bobbi Brown (the make-up genius) is almost all gray and colors her hair every 2 weeks! She hates her gray and I know the feeling. She's a couple of years younger than I am but her coloring, and look are very close to mine. I'm following her lead! I do think, however, that a great cut can make or break the look if you go gray. Gray hair is dryer so must be conditioned constantly to be supple and shiny - conditioning, a good cut and the right makeup are so important with gray hair.

Here is a link that might be useful: Bobbi Brown 50+ Beauty Tips

More inspiration pix! My favorite grey look is the first one. I think it's interesting that the hairdresser says she actually highlights her hair with black streaks to soften the contrast between her original color and her greys. This is the look I'm going for but it'll take months to grow mine out to her length. Maybe you'll find something you like on here too.

Here is a link that might be useful: Oprah Grey Styles

I don't know how I feel about not coloring- I do color my hair, it's long, and I get tons of compliments on my hair all the time from perfect strangers. There's a part of me that would like the "freedom" but I like knowing that I look good too.
My husband does not like gray hair, (I know, I know!) so that is a factor.

I would do what fits your life best. It's not a one answer fits all type of question. Some women do look good with gray hair, to me, but not everyone thinks so and gray hair can still, to look great, take some maintenance to brighten and look shiny.

When I saw the writeup of Cindy Johnson on the MSN homepage, gray-haired, age 60, and 'turning' model, it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. It's not the model thing, or even her becoming a model at such a late age, but how gorgeous she looked. Just this past Sunday I commented to a friend,'I think I gonna let my hair go gray'. Her comment~~'really'?' She's only known me as a blonde-of-many-shades, so she probably can't imagine such a turn of events.

Heck, i'm, one year away from 70, and there's absolutely nothing I have to lose, so i'm going to go for it. I haven't colored my hair for about 5 months, so I have a good start. I'd say i'm half-and-half, at least at the top. We'll see, but I think i'm finally ready to be 'just me'. ;o)

I used to have really think, wavy shoulder length hair that needed to be colored every 5 weeks. Mostly I did it myself w/Loreal but occasionally treated myself to a salon job. Then, I lost all my hair to chemo. It is coming in nicely. I'd say it's currently a little shorter than Jamie Lee Curtis' hair. And it's coming in a dark charcoal gray and really soft!
So, I'm going to let it grow a little longer before I make my final decision about color vs. no color. I'm leaning towards coloring (not like I'm gonna get cancer :)!) but it is very liberating not having to worry about those silly grays poking through. Or, what event is coming up that I absolutely cannot be seen with gray hair.
Like somebody else said, if you're gong to commit to gray, you still have to maintain it w/conditioners and nice cuts. Can't let it go rogue. No matter what your age.
I swore I would never complain about my hair again, but here I go!

My husband and I were just discussing this the other day. I am 49 and probably 90% gray. My natural color was light brown. My hair just doesn't hold color like it used to and it's getting finer and straighter. So the roots that used to be covered up by my curls really show now. And when the hair on my crown loses color, from distance it looks like a bald spot!

I buy Loreal gray coverage at Sally and that seems to hold color better than the drugstore brands. But I am getting to the point where I can barely go four weeks without having to do something. With drugstore color it seems like the color fades in ten days.

I'd like to go gray but right now my gray is not an attractive color. Perhaps when my youngest graduates high school in a few years I'll get more daring and try the gray thing.

The other thing that bugs me is that my husband has just a little gray and he looks great. I think if I go all gray I'll look like his Mother.

deee I know just what you mean. My hair doesn't hold color well anymore and my DH has turned beautiful silvery gray which looks great with his complexion. He is outdoors so much he has a bit of a tan year round and that looks so nice with the silvery hair! I'm 4 years older than he is and people always think I'm younger - if I go gray, then what?

My hair is a bit longer than shoulder length and I do not like short hair on me at all. So how to grow it out? I've always said that I'd have to go live in a cave for a year because I will not watch that line slowly move down my hair and be seen in public - no way.

In your forties and beyond if you have the right color of grey to compliment your skin color, the look can be stunning. Just because someone colors their hair doesnt always make them look younger imo. In fact sometimes to me it does the opposite, younger looking hair draws more attention to the older looking face. Many times I am suprised how much older a women/man looks when they turn around and I see their face compared to the back of their head.

My hubby is a big Emmy Lou fan. We've followed her for years and I think she looks BETTER with her beautiful silver hair.

I feel your pain. My hair is dark and I have some gray. My gray is scattered so that my hair color turns it to highlights. I cannot use color on my hair the same shade as my natural color. My hair grabs color and it would be that shoe polish black LOL!! I use a light brown and the gray strands look highlighted. Helps with "roots" too. I occasionally have a few caramel colored highlights added in. I don't think gray is going to be especially flattering to me and I feel too young to go natural at this point. My method works for me.

tina

I would suggest if you decide to do this, get the help of your stylist to ease into the look instead of just letting it just grow out. With the right highlights and lowlights, the change will be gradual and deliberate. You don't want to make the change if it appears you're doing it because you're ill or can't afford to color it.

I also think that in order for it not to age you, you'll need to keep it nicely styled and healthy looking. It will also help you not look too old if you dress hip & current. So, will it be cheaper to keep coloring or update your wardrobe to match your new hair?

(Clinton Kelly, from What Not to Wear, said wearing dark blue is kinder on complexions than black.)

Like it or not, being fit, like Trailrunner, also subtracts years. Your weight may be a factor in this decision.

The hard part is not knowing how your skin coloring will look with grey hair until you try it. But I suppose it's easy to remedy with hair dye if you don't like the look.

Good luck! Maybe you'll be someone who looks smashing with grey hair and will feel so free, not worrying about the maintenance of dying it.

Navy blue is DEATH on me!!! My skin tone can't handle it at all so it may work for some people but not me. I can wear black summer, winter and spring - when I have a tan or am totally not tan, but when my skin is that in between of autumn black drags me down unless I have some crisp white up near my face.

All of this - gray hair, coloring hair, clothing colors.... it's all so dependent on your skin tones, if your brows are light or dark (or gray), and I even think the light in your geographical area plays into it. When I go to see my son in Gunnison, I feel like a hag. The air is SO clear and the light is so pure, (about 7800 ft elevation) that even young college girls look less pristine than they would somewhere else. That dewy glow disappears and any flaw is magnified.

roseabbey, your post about someone turning around and looking much older reminded me of a woman I saw wearing tight jeans and top, long blonde ponytail-- she turned around and had to be at least 70! She looked so creepy and desperate. What is so godawful about being older?

homebodymom, I think you should definitely try it. As was said, you can always go back.

story of someone turning around and then being shocked at the way they look...you should go running in Central Park...whew....there is a lot of that 2nd take as you pass someone. From behind they look so svelte and fit and put together and then ...the work of the plastic surgeon is evident as well as the colorist .

Nancy...you are sure right...I earned every line and crease and bump LOL. Every grey hair too :) c

I'm a big fan of Emmylou's and also think her silver hair is gorgeous. Think she's prettier now than when she was a brunette! She's lucky that her gray is so silvery...very dramatic & vibrant! If I could wake up with my hair looking just like Emmylou's, I'd be thrilled! Instead, for me the little white things are creeping in slowly.
Homebodymom, why not try growing out the color & see if you like it? You can always color it again!

I'll say upfront that I didn't read all of the other posts, so I may be repeating something already said. I notice that the people with grey or white hair that I think look terrific usually have nice thick hair and an olive or darker skin tone. I have sparse, fine hair and am very fair. If I don't color my hair, I start to look like I'm ill. Go to a wig store and try on some wigs that are grey, white or mixed. See if you like the look with your skin tones. That will help you make the decision.

Oops, I pushed submit too soon. I wanted to add that while you are at the wig salon, try on a topper that matches your hair. They are cooler than full wigs and are great to help hide the gray stripe between colorings or while you are letting your hair go to its natural color.

I love the gray in all those pictures! Sorry, Oakley-I totally disagree (and watch those apostrophes-teehee) with you on that.

I think you should embrace the gray! I love the look of gray hair so much that I would give anything to be gray at this point.

I always felt that grey hair looks best on people with great-looking skin (not just the skin tone, but also the condition of the skin). Young looking skin & grey hair is a great combo. I have a friend who has been prematurely gray since high school, never coloured her hair and always looked beautiful (she's now 50).

I have another friend who is 66 & insists on wearing her hair shoulder-length & dyed very blonde. All her friends think that another cut, style and colour would be more flattering (but heck if it makes her happy...).

I wish I could colour mine. I just had surgery and have to wait 6 months before I can colour again.

Decordummy, that was my thought too. I've been doing a lot of 'looking around' the last couple of weeks, and i've noticed many of the women who have their hair colored look older. It could be the color, the cut, or even their skin color. A definite change of make-up is needed for a different hair color also. ;o)

Two of my best friends have let their hair go naturally all grey. One has short hair, the other has long. The shorter grey looks so much better than the long.

Grey is my third highlight color. lol My hairdresser uses two highlight colors, one lowlight and keeps the grey. It is the only way I could live with letting the grey grow in. I don't have alot of grey like some of the beautiful women who are totally grey. My grey has no particular pattern. I can't imagine that I would stop coloring, even if it is just a bit of highlight to even things out.

Patty Cakes has a good point about changing make-up when hair colour changes. I find this is true of clothes colours too. As a brunette I could wear red clothes or red lipstick, but as a blonde or redhead, red didn't suit me (greens, purples & blues seem to suit both blondes & redheads). I am not totally gray, so when I colour (Natural Instincts) it makes the gray look like highlights. Homebodymom maybe you could use a semi-permanent colour while it is growing out, or have grey-lights put in.

I agree that color can make a woman look older too. It needs to be the right color - a flattering color, highlights, whatever. I find that many women who color their hair have a flat, one tone color. That really drags a face down and is so obviously hair color. You need a variation of shades. You need shine and healthy hair. Just as several have mentioned, a good cut and style are necessary, as is condition of the hair.

tina

I have about 90% white hair, and have been coloring it for over 25 years because I started going grey very early. My natural color is medium brown, but my roots would show within a few weeks of coloring, so I've gone blonde. I love being blonde! I have to confess, my daughter is a hair stylist in NYC, so I have professional help without the big price tag, but even so, I touch-up myself at home and through the years always colored my own hair. My hair is not a coarse grey - it has the same silky texture as always, it just has no color, so I can get by with a semi-permanent color that fades a bit as the month goes on. I get high lights and low lights every few months and do root control in-between. I am tired of the maintenance, but the blond streaks really stretch the time between coloring and I don't think I'm ready to let it go just yet (I'm 56). Those women in the photos are beautiful inspirations, but like a PP said, it depends on your overall looks - skin, weight, style, etc. if going grey will make you look old.

I've started to get gray hair now that I'm in my 40's. I have dark blonde hair so I just highlight it. It hides it enough for now, but I know the day will come that I will need to make a decision on whether to color it all or let it go gray. I think I will go on fighting. I have a babyface and am "traditionally built" (love that!). I just think gray hair ages women. But I don't like it when women fight their age so much that they look ridiculous. I think Goldie Hawn looks like she is trying to stay the same age she was in her 30's. Although my mind may change when I'm a grandma some day. We will see. I get my hair trimmed about every 3 months and get it highlighted at the same time, sometimes only on top. I trim my own hair, bangs mostly in between cuts. I will say that I had my hair brown once while in my 20's and I liked it much better with my skin tone. Maybe I'll go brown when I have to color all over.

Joanie, my point exactly~Goldie looks like she's trying too hard and it's not particularly flattering. I've noticed this w/other women who color their hair. The all-one-color look is aging.

I've highlighted for years, and my natural hair color is a dark brown, with the roots dark brown/light gray. Should I have a more pale highlight done so the gray isn't so obvious with the brown? It's more of a golden blonde now, and the roots are very obvious. I'm just thinking with a more pale highlight they wouldn't be?? ;o)

Cher is another one who can't seem to accept her age. And she has that solid color look too.

In response to the suggestion about using a topper to hide the skunk stripe -- I went to a wig shop to ask about that. The store owner said that unless you are actually balding, don't do it. She had a topper and flipped it upside down to show me the clips. She said the clips are very tough on hair and you will bald at the spots where the hair meets the clip. She really recommended the Roux temporary rinses. To deal with my skunk stripe I'm relying on all kinds of new hair styles, changing the part, and headbands. If I have an important event, like I'm speaking at a local political event this weekend, I'll also use one of those temporary coloring pens. My husband loves how my incoming greys look, by the way. He keeps complimenting me but some of my girlfriends are appalled. They think colored hair is a necessity for any well-groomed woman in her late 40s so I'm bucking the trend here, at least in my geographic area.

There is a line where women need to dress more in their age bracket and style their hair accordingly. Cher and Goldie are parodies of the aging actress but many older women look great with longer colored hair and trendy clothing without resorting to that desperation.

Some women embrace the matronly look too early and would look years younger with a few changes.

When my slightly below the shoulder hair is unflattering for my face and age, I will cut it. (I'm 47)

Speaking at a political event...I'm intrigued...good luck with that, Judith.

Love the sound of the hair color pen. I have brushed a little dark eyeshadow on my gray strands to good effect!

Since I just turned 49, I'm about as late into my forties as I'm going to get & while I don't know how "well-groomed" I am, I don't equate being groomed with not being gray! Having said that, in our "geographic area," there is only one hair color to have, Judith, isn't there? Doesn't that color involve bleach, lol? Bleached hair, bleached teeth, tanning salon-baked skin...that's the formula isn't it? Don't a lot of women our age end up looking rather baked (skin) and fried (hair)? I have brown hair (with a few white things) and pale skin. I'm so out of it & plan to stay that way!

Interesting about the topper. I've been using one for several years with no problem, but I don't wear it every day, just for that last week or so when my roots really need color. The other thing I use is a Topix-type product. The powder helps blend in the grey roots, but it creates a mess in the shower.

Did you try on some grey and white wigs to see how you would look with that hair color?

I love the idea of trying on wigs as a test run - that would give a real picture with your skin color. Wish I knew of a wig shop close by!

I use various pens, wands, brushes with the temporary color on my part and at the hairline on the sides of my face. Works well enough to buy me a few days if I'm not able to get color. But I have to say, when my color is fresh I really love the way my hair looks and I feel vibrant - don't think that would be the case with gray. At least not yet. Just had my color done Monday, along with a Keratin straightening and a bang trim - it makes SUCH a difference in how I feel!

I hope I never look matronly - even if I make it to a grand old age! I think you can dress/style your hair without looking matronly and without looking like a mid-aged woman wanting to be a college student. I hope I take after my grandmother. She is in early stage Alzheimers but still makes sure her hair is combed and if she is going out, etc. she wants her lipstick. She always dressed beautifully and in-style while looking age appropriate. I don't remember her without white hair - hers is not silver but beautiful snow white. I have pictures of me as a baby and her hair was mostly a deep,dark grey with a streak of white near the front. She never colored her hair but has always kept it up and it looks beautiful. Thankfully, they have beauty shop day once a week at her assisted living!

tina

Been out of town for a few days but am amazed at all the great replies/ideas. I guess I am not the only one thinking about this!
I used to color my hair myself- with DH helping me with the back ( impossible to do alone without color all over the bathroom) but have been having it done at a salon for about a year now. It went really well for a while, but it seems that the texture of the gray is changing ( having to leave the color on much longer or it doesn't take well) and I am getting more and more gray very quickly. I have naturally curly/wavy hair and am used to very low maintainance hair- haven't touched a blowdryer since high school.
I would just LOVE to stop and let it be gray. The website and ideas,experiences you have shared have helped a lot. Thanks a bunch- you guys are great. If i decide to let it go, I will let everyone know how hard it was, and if it was worth the "pain" of getting there ;o)

Stinky-gardener, We're the same age :) I don't see much "baked and fried" where I am (in the mid-Atlantic) It's more honey-blonde w/conservative highlights. I associate that look you describe with CA and the southwest states. A year-round tan could never be mistaken for a real one here. It's snowing as I write this and I don't think we'll be seeing the sun until at least next May.

Sorry, Judithn. I had you confused with JudithVA...wasn't looking carefully enough! She and I live in the Tidewater area of VA in different towns. I live in VA Beach, so the beachy look rules here! I have no plans to jump on the bandwagon. Had three skin cancers by the time I was 26, each of which required some uncomfortable surgery & stitches.

Tanning beds are even worse for skin than natural rays, & bleach is murder on fine, delicate hair. I'd be bald in no time if I followed the blonde brigade! Would rather have healthy skin and hair and stay brunette and pale. But, yes, many here do go for the ultra-blonde, "year-round tan" look!

I am rather partial to the natural look......I think what you end up with really depends on what you start with. Our family doesn't get "gray"....we go "white".

Here is a picture of my sister and I at beautiful Crater Lake, OR last summer. My hair (on the right) was always blonde and just totally became white blonde, my younger sister had jet black curly hair and she has been white since mid-late twenties. Her hair is a beautiful white but is definitely more "blue" than mine has ever been. (I am 58 but generally am thought to be quite a bit younger - my sister is 55).

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lvr, you are so lucky to have hair that white; do you use something to keep it shiny ?

Lvr if my natural was that colour, I'd be partial to it too.

Yes, Lvr, your hair color is gorgeous and the texture looks so thick, but silky! Lucky you!

lvr. gorgeous !! I can hardly wait till my hair does that...fingers crossed...Momma's and Daddy's did but they were considerably older. You both look wonderful. c

I dread each hair coloring session. I usually procrastinate until there is an event I'm attending where I don't want the roots to show. Then after I'm done, I wonder why I dreaded it so much. I've been doing it for 16 years, and I'm not ready to go gray. Even though I'm fifty something, my children are 19 and 16 (got a late start), and I don't want them to have a gray haired mom show up at events. My 64 year old husband hasn't even started turning gray yet! Everyone thinks he is much younger than he is. Plus, now that I hit menopause, my face is starting to wrinkle, so I think the gray hair would emphasize the aging. I'm thinking I'll do it until I'm in my 70s, but who knows if I'll change my mind. It's a necessary evil, but I keep telling myself that it's easier than making an appointment and putting in the time at a salon.