Yes, attitude is everything, and in fact attitude can convince people of practically anything. It's all in the way you carry yourself.

This happened almost twenty years ago when I was forty. I went to the bank (a bank I never used) and bought a bonus CD for $100,000. When it matured in a year I went back into the bank and said I wanted a cashier's check for the amount. The man did not ask for a drivers license or any kind of ID and I brought it to his attention. And he explained my signiture was on file. Big deal I could of forged the signiture quite easily.

But that is not what you are talking about is it?

I desparately need an attitude ajustment and only I can do that and it scares me so. This is probably too personal and I may regret it tomorrow, I will.

Hhireno, thanks for sharing this little but great story. This woman really has it together...she's an inspiration!

I have a bumper sticker on my car that reads, "Don't believe everything you think." Our thoughts can do us harm, & our thoughts can do us good. We have the power to choose which thoughts we are going to entertain. We in essence choose which wolf we are going to feed; the nasty one that will harm us, or the gentle one that will keep us company & enrich our lives. The woman in the story has mastered the art of choosing thoughts that will benefit her. She could just as easily have chosen negative, downer thoughts about her hairy circumstances.

Thanks for the uplifting, enlightening tale!

New Dawn, have no regrets! We all have to make attitude adjustments from time to time. Yes, it's scary & hard work. If it was easy, there wouldn't be so many addicts in this world. You know what I mean? You are taking the courageous route by facing your fears.

Remember, "Feel the fear & do it anyway," & "Fake it 'til you make it." Just move in the direction of growth.

Thanks stinky I needed to hear that tonight.

"Don't believe everything you think." Wow, that is really powerful.

NewDawn- You are thoughtful, caring, and open. I'm not sure what adjustments you want to make, but don't change too much. :O)

Great story, I really liked it. And I love your bumper sticker too, SG.

I'm trying to find an attitude adjustment myself. Recently, something bad happened involving people I had trusted. While I will never trust them again, I am trying to find a way to move beyond anger to someplace where we can live again in peace.

Trying hard not to feed the nasty wolf, but haven't found the gentle wolf yet. Sleepless tonight looking.

The story was one of those emailed things from a few years ago. I saved it & recently came across it again. Sometimes we need a reminder like that so I thought I'd share it here.

Good luck to those of you actively working on changing. We all know what hard work that can be. It takes practice, practice, practice. Like learning a new language. You should find an inspirational thought & post it where you'll see it frequently.

SG's bumper sticker is great! I wish I had one.

Oh Barb, I am so sorry. Sometimes people can be so disappointing and when trust is broken, it's hard and so hurtful.

I'm going through something like that myself right now. I am sick and so freaking hurt and mad I could kill him with my bare hands. Unfortunately they have the freaking death penalty here in Alabama.

Thank you paint chips but I am overcome with terrible thoughts, but I won't act on them I am better than that I think. (lol)

Barb can relate a little I think.

.....Jane

Thanks, Hhireno, Paintchips, & Barb! I went to MakeStickers.com & selected the colors, font, etc., to create the bumper sticker. I don't know if one like it exists anywhere else!

New Dawn, good for you! When you say, "...I am overcome with terrible thoughts, but I won't act on them..." you are putting yourself in the driver's seat, & moving away from giving external sources (the guy who angered you) the power.

New Dawn & Barb, go within & really feel the pain of the anger & sadness so you can release it. FEEL the pain, don't conjure up more THOUGHTS about the source of it! When you become still, go within, & feel the pain fully, you can then release those feelings & move on.

We can store repressed fear & other painful emotions in our bodies, so it is important to feel our negative emotions fully & then let them go. That is why distracting ourselves & getting busy doesn't work any better than dwelling on painful events. While we are busy distracting ourselves, the pain is being stored within. We get headaches, backaches, tummyaches, & insomnia.

I would also recommend incorporating bodywork like yoga, massage or even a daily walk, to work out any residual tension.

Hhireno, great story, I love little inspirational pick me ups.

Stinky, what your describing sounds similar to EFT, I just learned about EFT in the last year and it's been very helpful for emotional and physical stuff. It's freaky how it works, I always feel so much better after I do it.

newdawn, I'm so sorry to hear of your state right now. If it's about what I'm guessing it's about, that really does stink badly.

stinky (who doesn't stink badly :)), how do you feel the emotion without thinking of the source of it?

Roobear, I don't know what EFT is. Would you enlighten me?

Fly, when we find ourselves trapped in repeating a mantra of blame toward anyone or anything, we can change the focus from the object of our blame back to our feelings.

Example: I hated it when a certain relative started yelling at me about something. When I took my focus away from hating my relative to checking out my gut level of fear, I got in touch with a whole lot of repressed fear.

I have begun to understand that it was not so much the yelling that was filling me with fear. The yelling just was a flashlight that illuminated a lot of unfinished, repressed fear that had been floating around in me for years. It brought unfinished business to my attention. I then let old fears surface so I could finish them.

The yelling, which filled me with such pain & fear & hatred, turned out to be a gift. I discovered that our fear is really a power source that comes from inside-not an assault from the outside. Once we are no longer children, no one can PUT fear (or sadness, anger, etc.) into us...it only seems that way.

Stinky- EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique, it's an emotional version of acupuncture with out needles. The video below is better at explaining it.

I actually prefer Robert Smith's modified faster version over Gary Craigs because it combines EFT with NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming).

Here is a link that might be useful: YouTube EFT Video

Thanks for the post hhreno. This is definitely something I will be bringing to work to share with all.

roobear, this is new to me, although I know of other methods. There is one practicioner in Montreal, the only one in Quebec. I'm going to keep reading about it, I gave my email address to receive the basic manual.

This thread is definitely a good reminder to work on different issues; I've been wrapped up in material things a lot lately, not that I think this is wrong, there are periods when we need to escape but reading all of the posts above was a good reminder to feed my soul....... thanks everyone for sharing.

What a great post, hhireno. Great words from you, stinky.

Thank you.

Thanks flyleft and yes it is, but I'll be okay.

Love your advice Stinky and I will try it. But I would like to see a little blood first, I'm Italian. (lol and just kidding)

(((newdawn)))

And thanks for the explanation, stinky...I guess I get it, kind of like the idea that you choose your emotional reaction to everything that happens to you, *although* with the caveat that I think in certain circumstances (maybe not your hair falling out, or your breasts dropping to your waist :)) it's important to right a wrong or correct an injustice in addition to freeing yourself from the sense that the injustice can rule you emotionally. There *are* crimes, still, and unethical behavior, etc., and they need to be addressed, not just dismissed or "emotionally freed" from, as it were...thinking about the work my DD's doing on Mandela and the struggle to end apartheid, for example. Mandela and many in the ANC are a perfect example of freeing himself from a first-level bitterness and aiming toward a restorative justice. But not a 'oh, forget it' pseudo-justice, iykwim which invalidates the experience and very real losses of the crime.

While that's a really 'writ-large' version, I think there are also events like that on smaller scales that merit the same treatment...

Speaking of fear, etc., did anyone see the masterpiece Theatre film last Sunday entitled "Endgame"? (not Beckett's piece, but a piece about the negotiations around the end of apartheid) It was *brilliant* and had many lines that relate to EFT, actually, to absorb and watch played out. We got so much out of it in so many ways...it's really worth the time if it gets rescreened. We're actually thinking of buying a copy to study.

I forgot to thank Paint Chips for that sweet comment.

I can be way too sensitive for my own good and I realize that. Gosh could I talk about myself a little more, geez.

I agree, Flyleft, that, "..it's important to right a wrong or correct an injustice in addition to freeing yourself from the sense that the injustice can rule you emotionally."

Indeed, & on a micro level, if someone says something to you that is rude or intended to hurt you, you can still tell that person that his or her behavior is unacceptable. But that person need not control your inner state. You are then in touch with your personal power & not being run by someone's else's. You are also not being controlled by your own knee-jerk, reactionary, unconsious behavior. Instead, you can choose, not to merely react to a slight, but to mindfully respond on your own behalf.

In the case of global issues, when we are mindfully responding to bring about justice, peace & other virtues, we are much more effective than we are merely reacting to the world's ills. Action taken with a peaceful heart & mind is transformative. You know, the idea that it is better to work FOR something than to work AGAINST something. The war against terrorism will never be effective. Perhaps a war for peace has a chance.

Our thoughts regarding our efforts affect outcomes. Everyone is impacted by the level of peace each of us emanates. I truly believe it ripples around the world AND is felt by the person beside you right now.

I read this post in the middle of a troubled, sleepless night. And it helped, it really did.

I found a mediator, a person who as SG says has a peaceful heart. And we found a solution, one that all of us feel is fair.

It is amazing that a person can be alone in the middle of the night, and find good people posting on an internet forum, and find a better direction. Thank you to all of those who posted here.

Newdawn, I hope you find some peace. I don't tolerate anger well at all, it makes me physically as well as emotionally ill. I hope you can find some resolution, because I too have found you an interesting, open, and thoughtful person on this forum. You help make it the great place it is.

Thank you Barb I am feeling better and things are looking up and I am more at peace. I am so glad you found a solution to your problem.

Hope you sleep well tonight.

Simply......Jane