No, I did not. Not a big wedding. Still don't have any and can't say I want any.

Sue

Nope, don't have and don't want it.

I would not get the gold rims, because that will wear off bit by bit and not look great after a few years of use. I'd get a simple pattern to go with both sets of china.

We have tons of stemware for wine, including the very good crystal which we don't use very often.

I bought a full service for 12 of Wedgewood's Mirabelle bone china about 20 years ago. It's white with spring flowers on the edge.

Like my mother, I've collected Waterford crystal over the years, and I now have mother's, too.

I did not register for china, etc. for my wedding but I did for my retirement. I had started a collection of PortMerion, which is made in Britain. My office had a campus-wide party for me since I had worked at the university for 21 years. I got several serving pieces and was able to exchange then for plates, cereal bowls, etc. I now have a complete service for 8, which I use every day.

I would skip the gold rim on the crystal too. You don't have to have a gold rim just because the china has one, especially since each brand has a different width.

My wedding was a long time ago, and my tastes have changed over the years. When I got married, we lived in a 21st-floor apartment in midtown Manhattan. Now I live in a very old farmhouse on a dirt road. As you can imagine, my lifestyle is much more casual!

So the platinum-banded Royal Doulton china and Orrefors crystal go unused. I love stemware, but have other nice pieces and would rather use something not priced as outrageously as the Orrefors. As it turns out, I'm glad I didn't acquire any more of the "good" stuff than I did.

I did register when I got married (the first time) but not for crystal or china. My Mom & Dad got me a set of china - service for 8, and then because I hosted most of the family gatherings my Mom gave me her china - service for 18! Now I can serve 26 peeps on the good china! With 7 siblings plus kids etc that is great! My china isn't "designer" but very pretty and after 30 yrs I still love it! I also received some very nice wine glasses as a wedding present & use those still.

My DD is getting married in August 2012 and she & her very dear fiance are not going for glory. They are having a VERY small wedding and are very conservative & kids of the earth - parents & siblings only - 7 of us in all - and I had to convince her & my future DSIL to register at all. She has registered at Bed Bath & Beyond & Target for very essential items - mops, towels etc. I did encourage them to register for at least matching everyday dinnerware (which I wish I had!) I am very proud that they are not seeing this as a way to grab gifts!

Thanks for listening...

hosta

I didn't register fpr anything. Too pretentious. Demanding a "certain" gift. My future SIL gave me a set of knives I diodn't need. I exchanged them for four place settings of Pfaltzgraff Ironstone dishes. I have added many pieces of Pfaltzgraff since. Future MIL insisted I pick a silver pattern when I was engaged. I said absolutely not. One of our first disagreements. She was the MIL from HE!!. She almost didn't come to the wedding. And she greatly embarassed me in public when I tried to breast feed my first child.

Yes, I did. And I got two glasses... and turned them in to a place setting of the dishes we used for 25 years on a daily basis.

Then when we moved, I decided to do away with the everyday dishes... and just use the "good china" all the time. My mother in law had painted Jerry's initals on them. Now, of course, I wish I had kept the every day dishes... but oh well.

As soon as I get a place of my own, I shall go dishes shopping. Presently I am using for plates from Goodwill, along with two cups, and two saucers... :)

Moni

In the early 1960's I didn't know a bride who *didn't* register for china, crystal, silverware, etc. Would I want any of this today -- no.

We reveived 12 place settings of Rosenthal china and crystal goblets and wine glasses so thin that I broke two the first time I washed them -- and a very 'modern' pattern of silver. (It's been so long since I used any of this that I can't recall the silver pattern or maker.) ALL of the china I have -- mine and my MIL's gold banded -- must be hand washed. All this stuff is packed away, along with a lot of silver serving pieces that I'm not interested in polishing.

I am so DONE with all that prep and cleanup! The only things I can remember using in the last ten years have been a silver punch bowl and two chafing dishes. I'm all for buffets these days.

Oh, let's not forget the linen tablecloths, placemats and napkins that have to be sent to the French laundry! What WERE we thinking?

OTOH, I *would* have the reception dinner for 200 with cocktails and dancing again in a heartbeat. Our DS and DIL had a wonderful big band from a nearby college play at their reception dinner -- people still talk about the fun! You are *supposed* to celebrate a wedding.

I registered back when I first married, 62. Had a fairly sized wedding.

MIL insisted I select 3 patterns: every day, second best china and best china, with glassware/crystal and 12 plc setting of each.

My second best was Royal Doulton, with Fostoria glassware.

Best was Lenox and crystal was Tiffan.

I loved setting the table for company. Especially

the Lenox and crystal, at Christmas time. Such a pretty table setting.

My sterling silver is Buttercup by Gorham.

Stainless steel for everyday.

I'm not married but I did buy myself a set of Fiestaware. Plates, bowls, gravy boat, pie plates, baking dishes. They are in fun colors and I LOVE them. Made in the USA, can be used in the dishwasher, 5 year chip guarantee, no lead, and they are sturdy and pretty.

I don't think I would ever want fine china or crystal anything. I'm way too klutzy/lazy and I have minimal storage. Most people I socialize with are more BBQ than fine dining, even on holidays, so I don't think I would use it much at all.

I love Fiestaware, too, Chi. I have a bunch of unmatched pieces of my mom's from the 1930s & 40s, and I enjoy using them. Just the other day I was admiring the current Fiestaware colors in Macy's.

Oh Glenda, I love Buttercup. My mother's mother had unmatched pieces of sterling, and my favorite was the one piece of Buttercup.

We eloped, so I did not register for anything. I fell in love with my grandmother's inherited Limoges Haviland (which went to cousins), and so years later, when I saw a set of 12 being auctioned on a PBS TV site in Chicago, my DH bought it for me. For the last decade or more, my DH, DD and sister have bought me sterling to go with the china, and the set is almost complete. The kids have given me simple goblets over the years, and I have my mother's gorgeous etched ones.

DD's MIL gave her their sterling silver and crystal, but she registered for her own good china from France.

My sister has no children, and she and I will be bequeathing our good stuff to my two sons who have none and have not registered for any. As they get older and live in roomier homes, they and their wives will appreciate it.

I love my good china and silver as well as the crystal and silver plate serving pieces that had been my mother's. I love to set a pretty table for the holidays. It makes more work, but the setting is so festive and the gathering and mood is so enhanced for special occasions.

No I didn't register either. Most of our friends were just graduating from college and as poor as we were. We needed sheets and towels, not crystal and silver. We did get two tall martini pitchers that had crystal stirrers. WTH was THAT all about?? They were very pretty though. I'm with you on the Corelle winter white. It's all I use. Food looks better on a plain white plate!

Alisande, I don't like a lot of things like this, but I totally love Orrefor crystal. My mother bought all her children an Orrefor bowl. It's so beautiful! I think because it's pretty plain.

Hostapasta, I applaud your daughter for being practical. Yes your wedding day is one of the most important days in your life, but it's better to remember the meaning of the ceremony than the party (and $$$$$ spent). Good for her!! My daughter was the same way. Family only, but with four family sides it ended up 68 guests.

Yes - 33 years ago. It's what you did around here back then. I still love the choices I made though I don't use it much any more. Even at its peak I only used it a few times a year.

Glenda, Buttercup was my mother's pattern and she had a spoon ring made for me (remember those) of it.

Caroline, if I bought crystal now I think I would set the table with differnt patterns rather than a whole set. You could go to Goodwill, antique stores etc. and almost turn it into a hobby. There are so many lovely patterns and you can make your own rules. It would be such a conversational topic as everyone looked around the table.

I did register (1969) and followed the recommendations of my mother who picked out very formal place settings and crystal as well as sterling. I did use it as everyone did who had it. We all tried out being very formal. My godson married a hardworking single mom and she loved my wedding china and I gave it to her.

The silver I use now with pewter place settings in a scallop Queen Ann pattern I bought later. It is different and works. I now felt I needed formal place settings but I don't use them very often and made a mistake in spending that money.

In those days the new bride was anticipating her husband bringing home his boss and wife for dinner at least or some such thing. We learned all this in home ec class at school.

Nobody really judges anybody. It is the food that counts and the friendship.

I ended up selling my Fostoria, on ebay. I tried my darndest to sell it myself, with ads in the local paper, but I had soooooo dang much, ebay store picked it up and sold every single bit of it.

My Lenox, bestest friend ought it, for her daughter in Boston.

My everyday, was used everyday, and until I had bits and pieces, and serving pieces. Sold that and bought me just plain white everyday, that I use all the time.

My Royal Doulton, in perfect condition, is rarely used.

And my Tifan crystal gathers dust. :o(

I registered for china and crystal, like most people around here did then. Actually, they still do that here. Anyway, I do like my china pattern, but it isn't what I would pick now. I do love using it for holidays and birthdays, and I have to keep getting more of it because the family keeps getting bigger. I think I have 13 place settings now. Yes, we have to wash them by hand, but it's worth it. My crystal pattern really is very fragile- wish I'd picked something else. We don't drink wine, so it doesn't really matter.

Go with stemware with plain borders.

Yes! In 1974 I registered for and received china, sterling, crystal, "every day" dishes and stainless. For years, I only used "the good stuff" for special occasions. Through the years, I put together a really fun mis-matched set of Limoges luncheon plates, cups & saucers and fruit dishes. They all have pink flowers...that is their unifying force.

Now, I have my china, crystal and sterling, the mis-matched Limoges, my mother's china,sterling and a few stems of Waterford, and my grandmother's sterling, plus a set of 12 very old Haviland Limoges plates.

I am a third-generation only child. In addition to the silver and china, I have some nice old linens and cut glass. Since I like those things, and they make me feel close to my mother and my grandmother, I've decided I should just use them and enjoy the hell out of them, and I do! I'm not all that formal. It is fun to work the old pieces into a casual setting.

I have two wonderful sons. Yes, I broke that only-child tradition! I don't think they care a flip about the old pieces I enjoy so much. They appreciate a pretty table, but have expressed no desire to own any of it. So, I will continue to enjoy, enjoy, enjoy...and not worry so much if a piece (long discontinued) gets broken.

I registered for china (Haviland Golden Quail) because that's the tradition here. I didn't register for silver flatware or crystal. DGM bought a full set of Waterford stemware on a trip to Ireland in the 60s and started giving me pieces along when I was a child. She also asked me to choose a silver pattern in my early teens and began giving me a place setting on birthdays and at Christmas. I chose the same silver pattern as my Mom which has been great because we share and between us we have 30 place settings. I also have my DGM's very formal 90 year old Haviland wedding china (gold scrollwork, with a cobalt band and gold rim) and lots of linens she collected on her travels. I also have lots of silver serving pieces some of which were wedding gifts and others were DGMs. We entertain fairly informally these days, but we use the silver flatware pretty often for buffets and the rest more infrequently, primarily wedding showers and parties for friends' kids. I certainly don't need it all and agree that a lot of it is a major pain to take care of, but I do love the memories of Grandmother that this stuff evokes.

DD registered for a more contemporary china and nice, but not fine stemware. She also has my other DGM's silver flatware. She uses the stemware very often and the china on special occasions.

Mom loves china and setting a pretty table and has several different patterns. The only pattern name I remember is her wedding china (Autumn Leaf), but then there's the Easter china (birds) the thanksgiving china (hunt scene); the Chistmas china; and her DGM's china (simple with a patterned gold rim). She also has the family, or really, the community, silver punch bowl that she freely loans out. It has been to more weddings, showers, retirement parties, birthday parties, etc. than anyone else in the family!

don't bother with "name" brands...so many of the fine china and i'm sure crystal is now made in china! i don't collect any lenox pieces anymore...
any simple pattern will complement your heritage pieces...

how lovely of your mother to gift you with them...

use them in good health...

Nope. When we got married, I was 40 - first marriage for both of us. I registered for everyday dishes to add to what I already had. But no crystal. We're both informal and anyway, I was really shaky then - I had uncontrolled arm Essential Tremor - and I figured the nice crystal wouldn't last long around me. Now my ET is mostly controlled, but I still shake occasionally, and I'd still be uneasy with that nice stuff...now if I could have just registered for a set of adult sippy cups! :-)

We mostly use nice plastic cups that I find at the drugstore - they work well for us (informal) and are impossible to break! We do have a set of glass water glasses from Target, though that we use for company.

I should add that my DD married into a family that has added to her china collection. Her DHs grandmother left a set of china for each of her grandchildren, so DD has that set to use. Then my DS bought her the everyday Spode set she uses, and she registered for a fine set of china which she has now. Then her MIL sent her a check to buy a Christmas pattern set, so really what she needs now is storage that is convenient enough to enable her to get the sets out to use them.

Sheilajoyce - storage! That just about sums it up for many. We tease my girlfriend about her 'anyday' china - and by that I mean she has a set for just about 'any' occasion. They're stored on shelves in the basement and with the help of an understanding husband she changes her settings often. She has two Christmas patterns (one formal, one everyday), both a gold rimmed set and a silver one, a dainty floral set for spring and another set with roses for summer and in the fall she brings out her Lenox Autummn. Somewhere I've missed one because she has 9 sets of china and 2 sets of crystal.

She really enjoys her china and sets her dining room table with which ever pattern is in season and then leaves the dishes all the time. She considers it part of her decorations.

I have formal china which needs to be hand washed, a lovely set of Waterford crystal and my silver which I use often. But I also have an inexpensive set of china which can go in the dishwasher and we tend to use that more frequently.

Oh, and I wanted to say that I don't think it is demanding to have a registry. A registry is very nice for a lot of people who want to get the bride and groom something they really want. I'm always happy when a bride has registered- it makes it so much easier to pick out something they want. You know they're not going to get 5 toasters. The other thing is, you don't HAVE to buy something from the registry either.

susan on - I agree that a registry really helps in buying a gift for a couple or a shower. I have given cash but I also like to see if I can get something on their registry on sale and maybe give a little more as a gift.

I have also had my DDs register for Christmas gifts - sweaters, cammies, etc. They love opening gifts vs gifts cards.

My husband's brother's wife (i.e. my SIL, the only one I "like") gave me some stemware as a wedding gift. so thin and delicate I immediately broke a couple. Went to macy's and bought replacements. I think I still have them in my china cabinet, but I'm afraid to use them. Never owned any real "silver". Bought cheap stainless steel as needed. Along the way , I bought two deecent looking sets of silver plate. I use one set as my "good" silver for special occasions. The other set is put away in the attic. My plans are to give one set each to my 2 daughters when they marry. One is getting married in 2013. That will leave me with "no" good silver (or silverplate). I'll have to buy some.

I registered when I married the first time (1989) but have none of the stuff left. Everything I registered was discontinued - stoneware (Noritake Adobe); flatware (Oneida Alexis); glassware - within two years of the marriage. Should have known.... Lol

Those of you who are planning to leave your china, etc., to family members, just remember this:

I am an only child. I had great aunts with no children. My mother is an only child. Somehow, over the years, I ended up with seven sets of china - none of which I even liked; three sets of sterling silver flatware (froofy patterns that I didn't like), and four sets of crystal. All but one set of crystal ( which is in my basement, in boxes, waiting for a garage sale) has been sold on eBay. So just be sure your heirs really WANT this stuff before you give it to them. Otherwise, sell it yourself now and use the money for something you want. :)

I'm beyond keeping things for sentimental reasons. I have a very nice set of service for 12 of plain white dishes, plain Oneida flatware, and plain glass tumblers and wines. Works just fine. :)

I think your advice to check with heirs is wise, Chloecat. I'd hate to leave my kids in a situation where they have anxiety over parting with things that aren't their taste. In my case, I did ask my daughter if she would want my china.. and I didn't think she would. She said she liked it and would very much like to have it. This is why I'm happy to add to my collection. I have informed both kids to get rid of anything they don't have a use for or desire for. I think it's important to give them permission, because I'd hate to see themselves burdened with "stuff".

I'm another that says NO on the gold borders.

We registered for crystal, I think. NOT for china
or silver. We registered for Oneida stainless and some
plain white, but totally cool bauhaus style dishware.

And I found out that Corelle is NOT breakproof!
AND when it breaks, which was quite often in MY kitchen,
it breaks in thin long shards of glass. that are
very hard to pick up! lol

One of my brothers has my Mom and Dad's very pretty china.
I have the beautiful Silverware!

Oh yes Corelle can be lethal when it breaks. BTDT several times.

I didn't register when I married, just wasn't on my 17 year old radar. My sister gave us a starter set of Franciscan stoneware and someone gave us some flatware. We used some cash gifts to finish them out. A couple of years into the marriage I picked out a China pattern (Noritake, Fragrance)and my Mom would gift us with pieces on Xmas, anniversary, my inlaws also gave us some and I bought some when it came on sale until I had a service for 12. When my MiL passed away, my SiL took her China after I found 6 dinner plates of a different pattern (Noritake, Blakesley) in her cupboard and decided to take those. I finished out those place settings and now have service or 18 of the fine china. Both patterns are Ivory China, floral with gold rims so they go together. My crystal my husband bought from a wine store....beautiful glasses. I also have 6 Waterford goblets my Mother bought in Ireland and a bunch of other pieces. All of this along with a Xmas service (Pfaltzgraff Winter Berry for everyday holiday use)of 16 settings are in cabinets in the dining room.I also have my MiL's sterling service for 12.

For everyday we use Pfaltzgraff, Midnight Sun..... Black dishware that makes any food look absolutely stunning. Colors really pop on black plates. And some kind of flatware that I got at Costco years ago.For glasses we have mainly French Tumblers which are great for everything.

I like it when couples register as it gives me ideas for gifts. I'd rather get someone something they want then something I think they should have or that I like.

I was looking at a bridal registry today to purchase some place settings and was happy to discover that Lenox is still an American company and their fine bone china is made here.

From their website "Lenox is proud to be an American company designing for Americans. We are the only manufacturer of fine bone china in the United States, produced at our state-of-the art facility in Kinston, North Carolina."

I would recommend a simple goblet that would go with both sets of dishes. Some of the newer crystal is even dishwasher safe. I wouldn't buy anything with a metallic rim as it does wear as another poster mentioned and it limits the use to a more formal table setting.

I love china, crystal, silver and good linens. I use them often even though ironing linen isn't my favorite task. While I wash the crystal and silver by hand, I put the china in the dishwasher. I know it isn't the best thing for it, but I want to enjoy it and it's sturdier than you think.

I can understand that some people think that registering is demanding and greedy. That's the way it is now.
I have watched young women go on line and see what has been bought from their "checklist." And the check list is long. And there are many stores. One thing they do that is nice is they will pick places like Target and Bed Bath and Beyond so you have a range of prices. But my friend's daughter was furious when she got gifts that weren't on the list. My friend was horrified my her daughter's behavior but I have seen that before. If I were the groom to be I would run for the hills.

In my day....I registered for only china & silverware and glassware. That's what my friends did. I had no idea if anyone bought it. I was at school.We opened our gifts after we were married. There were many more things like candy bowls and candle sticks and a hobnail sugar and creamer set. Whatever they bought I have til this day to remember them by. No taking things back. I was flabbergasted that people would think of such nice things to make or buy for me.And I wrote my very personalized thank you notes within the month. My mother made sure of that. She would have been embarrassed to get a phone call asking if I got the gift.

Someone gave me a shower and I got practical gifts like cookbooks and some lingerie and fun gifts.
Nowdays, I have friends who give elaborate engagement parties at expensive restaurants. You can't tell the engagement party from the wedding reception. There is competition between friends.

No wonder these kids don't know how to save money. I have also seen kids take many of the gifts back and use the money for televisions and in my God-daughter's case, windows. How do you like that!! I was wide-eyed when she told me and her mom was mortified.
It seemed so unfair to the people who took the time to buy what they thought she would like.Oh well.

I like registries, too, but I often ignore them and choose something I think is appropriate for the couple or occasion.

I inherited my grandmother's china, crystal, and silver service for twelve. She died before I was born, but my parents saved it for me until I married. I have loved using it for the last 45 years, and have broken only one water goblet. Yes, it is a pain to hand wash it all a few times a year, but it always feels so elegant, or festive, or happy, or timeless or.... something. Grandmother bought it in the 1930s, so it's getting O L D!

I have three dtrs and three sons and they're all eyeing it! Nobody really lives that lifestyle (I'm not sure anyone ever really did - at least no one I know ever did!!), but it gives the kids and grandkids a sense of family history to use it now and then, to have a sense of treasure.

No, the only china I have are a few pieces I found of my mom's after she died. I don't know what happened to the rest of it. My dad took a bunch of her stuff and threw it out. So, all I have are a teapot, a bunch of cups, a couple bowls, and a sugar bowl. They're Noritake Lilybell and Bluebell. I think she brought them from Japan when she came here in the late 50's.

Long before I got married I bought two sets of "Heirloom" Phalzgraff (I think I spelt that wrong) with a serving platter and serving bowls, sugar bowl and creamer. They've broken one by one over the years and now I only have a bunch of the little cup plates, the sugar bowl, creamer, and one serving bowl. I thought I still had my big serving platter but can't find it! I don't remember it breaking.

I've bought a set of Corelle (green ivy around the edge) but they've broken and are all gone except for two plates and now I use cheap glass from Wal-Mart. Everytime I see a set of dishes I like in a catalog or in a store it's always made in China and so I just stick with my glass. I have glass plates and bowls. I like Corelle because they're lightweight.

I *love* that Autumn Leaf china!

My homemaking teacher, the legendary Miss Faye Quinlan (taught my aunt in the 1940's & me in the 1960's) had a formula:

you have fancy design & you have sleek design.
you have crystal, cutlery, & china.
use 2 fancy & 1 plain or 1 fancy & 2 plain.

I me my own self having no sense of balance, left to my own devices I would have had curliques & gold (it was the 60's; remember electroplated gold "silverware"?) all over the place back then!

As many of you have noted, though, tastes change, & it seems to me that we may go less fancy or more fancy.

Less fancy:

My friend Janet packed up all her own wedding china, her grandmother's wedding china, & the fancy silverware & silver pieces & crystal that have to be hand-washed, & summoned her daughter to take 'em home.

Daughter said she didn't want them;
Janet said that's okay, she wasn't giving them to daughter, daughter was to put them away for granddaughter, now aged nearly 7.

Janet said she's not washing another dish by hand, & she uses white dishes & dishwasher-safe wine glasses & stainless steel.

More fancy:

That story about the inherited 60-year-old or 90-year-old china that never had been out of the box breaks my heart.

From now on, I'm using the good stuff.

We didn't register when we married. My DH was in grad school and we had no idea where we might be after graduation. Plus we lived in a small apt. in Philly and barely had room for his desk and books. But 10 years later we had 3 kids and were in our current home and felt the time was right. We bought Lenox Autumn, Reed and Barton American Federal sterling and while vacationing in Bermuda ordered our Waterford 'Ballyshannon' direct from Ireland.

I'm so thankful that I didn't register when I was engaged at age 23- my tastes changed drastically in the intervening 10 years.