I'm so glad I like hair on men. Dh has only been clean-shaven a few times since I've known him. I much prefer a soft beard than a scratchy 5 o'clock shadow. Also find chest hair extremely sexy. Love that Robin Williams embraces his hairiness. I don't view refusing to follow the clean-shaven trend as being not well-groomed. To each his own.

I am curious as to why it is repugnant to indulge your significant other, even in their fantasies (as long as it is in your comfort zone)? If this person treats you with dignity, love and respect, then you are no less a strong, vibrant, capable woman for having done so for them.

My DD is now 25. Several years ago (she was still in college) she informed me that nobody she knows has hair. They all shave/wax/whatever. I was surprised. Who knew! Times are different. But, whatever you and your significant other are comfortable with is what you should do, IMO.

I wonder if this will be a practice men and women continue to practice as they age into their 50s and beyond?

Well, I just turned 49 and have no plans to discontinue my "regimen."

Tishtoshmn, very well said. Thank you.

i was shaved clean 25+ years ago when i needed emergency surgery and at the time, i don't think it was fashionable!! i thought it looked quite odd on an adult woman! and, as i recall, the regrowth wasn't pleasant...

i trim and shave the margins pretty high...esp during bathing suit season! had laser of the bikini lines a few years ago, but only went for 3 sessions and have much less, but still plenty of hair!
i look at and wonder about the women who have absolutely no arm hair---what do they do?? do some women regularly wax their entire arms?? (these are dark haired women who you would think would have a good amt of dark arm hair...)

i personally like a hairy (ok -ish) guy...very sexy! my husb and boys all have very hairy legs and i love them! i know my oldest has shaved his chest and even his armpits a couple of times...i don't know why!! but, he doesn't seem to do so regularly...

terriks you made an interesting point but it's one we (most of us) use selectively. You said, "This is what I find very sad. That men think that women who go "natural", as nature made them are gross." I am in absolute agreement that if a man feels a woman must be devoid of pubic hair to be attractive, that is sad,, but that's only my opinion. For all I know there are societies in this world that have always held shaved pubic hair as a standard of beauty. We (the royal, most of us we) shave our legs and our armpits and most men in our society would find an unshaven woman less attractive. Not every man, but don't you think it's a majority? It's what we are accustomed to seeing - smooth, hairless legs and armpits. In the end, it SHOULD be acceptable to shave whatever body parts we want - or not - and that it would not be a measure of our attractiveness. But the reality is, every society has it's standards of beauty and for the most part ours includes women shaving legs and armpits. Beauty standards are evolving as our society becomes more diverse - it's no longer necessary to look like a Cheryl Tiegs girl-next-door to be considered beautiful. We now embrace beauty in many different looks. Someone is always the first to push that boundary and make us stretch what we've always considered beauty. Some of us view the new looks with apprehension but slowly are able to see the beauty and others of us go kicking and screaming and refuse to ever accept what is outside their beauty comfort zone. Wow - I have no idea where all that just came from!!

"i look at and wonder about the women who have absolutely no arm hair---what do they do??"

To solve the mystery...I shave them. :) Yes, I have been told by a few close people that it looks strange but that doesn't bother me. My arms were never bushy but I didn't like the direction of the hair or the color. I've been doing this since I was in my mid teens and will continue to do so.

I've never known anyone that shaved their arms, but if that makes them happy - fine with me. However, I can think of many women who don't have (or at least you don't see it) hair on their arms. I have very little and I'm dark headed. My sister has practically none. I think that is more hereditary. Neither of us have ever shaved.

Again, I agree with Jenn - I don't intend to stop my regime, even though I don't go all the way bare. Also agree with dlm. To bare or not to bare should be found repugnant by others, it's simply a personal choice.

My ex-SIL has thick, dark hair and you'd think she might be hairy on her arms as well, but she's smooth as a baby's bohunk naturally. My mom and I (both natural blondes with hairy forearms) used to sit on either side of her and just rub her arms, marveling at how silky smooth she was! (No doubt she thought we were nuts.)

Shee, how often do you have to shave your arms? Sometimes I trim the hair on mine. It's very light and very fine, but I swear, you could almost actually braid it.

After reading this thread I think I need to buy some Gillette stock. ;)

After reading this thread I think I need to buy some Gillette stock. ;)

Great idea! And maybe invest in those at home hair removal devices.

Well I'm completely out of the loop on this discussion. I've never had body hair at all and never shaved any part of my body so I fit in no category. Just so you know I do have hair on my head. I call myself a mutant. lol

I'm with you vayagal, I never have had body hair where some people think it's not supposed to be! I'm perplexed by the need to "bare it all" if you have to shave, wax, exfoliate or bleach first. Shaved my legs, armpits and plucked a few eyebrows, but that was then. Too old to show much of anything now!

I've been thinking about this thread on and off this afternoon.

I just wanted to come back and clarify real quick...
When I was talking about facial hair I was being specific to my DH. Some men look better with it and some don't. I prefer the look of DH without it. I know it's possible to have a goatee or even a full beard and have it appear well maintained.

Jen - Hmm..actually I don't know. Usually every couple of days. I don't think it starts to become noticeable until about day 3 and that's if you're really looking. Years ago I originally began with bleaching my arm hair and then moved to waxing (myself - I wouldn't want anyone else to get near me with wax) but I wasn't a fan of having to let it grow in. I swear my arm hair just didn't look normal. The hairs wanted to go down instead of over. The rest of the girls in the family have real light arm hair and not that much of it. If mine would've looked like that, I would have left it alone.

So, it looks like bare vs fuzzy comes down mostly to age. Would you say that over 50ers tend to keep it "natural but neat", and 20 and 30 somethings are mostly all bare down there? With those in their forties a sort of mixed bag?

ok, thx for answering, shee! so some women do shave their arms? i think i would have been hesitant to try that because of the stubble that my legs have the next day---i pretty much shave my legs every day year round because i hate the stubble feel- don't know if i'd like that on my arms... but, only my lower legs really get stubbly-maybe the arms would be more like my thighs where the hair is softer when it grows in.
the ~4-5 women that i'm thinking of have really smooth and soft arms- no sign of 'stubble' at all...

My 18 yo daughter and I had a discussion about this topic awhile back. I don't remember how it came up. Anyway, she told me she and all of her friends totally shave down there. Myself, I keep it trimmed neatly but not totally bare.

I will never forget when my kids were young and we went boating with my SIL and her family. She is a non-shaver everywhere. My daughter was so appalled at all of her hair spilling out everywhere, and I do mean everywhere! I explained to my DD later that hair removal is a personal preference, and we should respect everyone's choice. I still believe that today, and don't really feel it's my business what anyone else chooses to do with their hair. If I don't like it, I don't have to look at it.

All of this is definitely a personal preference, andis influenced by ideology, which is, after all, 'what feels natural' (but isn't necessarily -- just what one considers the correct state of things).

Historically, though, it's a simple fact that men shaving their chests came from gay porn/physical culture. It was very much a boy-look thing, then, to make some men look younger and less aggressive. It grew from that out to mainstream society, just as the article I linked to mentioned. Just the facts, ma'ams. : )

(speaking of which, faron, you didn't mention what *you* do -- and it does matter, since both geese and ganders have feathers : ))

flyleft - I imagine you have made faron blush... LOL.

Shee, I've always loved looking at women's arm hair. For some odd reason I find it unique, like our noses are! Mine's always been blonde and thin, nothing much to look at. It goes in different directions too, but I don't care.

What would happen if you stopped shaving?

Oakley - It would grow back the same. It's not any thicker or darker. Once or twice I did consider growing it back but changed my mind within a few weeks.

Fly - However it originated, athletes/body builders/swimmers have reasons for doing it such as better showing muscle definition, speed, etc.

Hey, DH has been shaving his legs for years to avoid ingrown hairs if he falls off his bike onto the road.

And yes, I agree re swimmers -- the pic that accompanies the story attests to that trend (showing better muscle definition? and I had thought it was only for hydrodynamics : )). Mark Spitz didn't, though, as I recall...must have started after him. I imagine I date myself with that reference : )

However it originated, athletes/body builders/swimmers have reasons for doing it such as better showing muscle definition, speed, etc.

That's the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of men shaving their body hair. It's unusual to go into the weight room at my gym and see a man with a lot of hair. (FWIW, DH is a body builder but he remains one of the few furry ones. ;-))

>>

Shave-wise, I'm unaltered "there"....LOL!
Never thought to anything else I guess!

Veeeerrryyy occasionally, I'll do a partial shave....IYKWIM...;-)
(not of the "background")

THERE. That may turn the blushing-arrow BACK to you Ladies!! ;-)

Chest & Legs: Lighter-to-average hairiness.
On my head: I'm growin' it longer! Think Richard Branson-like...!

Faron
(sheesh! DW kids me that I'll blush if someone even HINTS of anything embarrassing!)

For jen( and other blonds) FWIW, I've always found blond arm hair, long or shirt, very pretty. It glistens in the sunlight! This will be my one and only offering to this post! :>O

I think it varies among 30-somethings (I'm in my mid-30s). The friends with whom I've discussed it (came up in a couple small groups) seem to be on the spectrum from trimmed to bare, but none of them waxed when we were in our teens or twenties. I believe that bareness/brazilians are a more recent phenomenon (there was probably a sex in the city episode on point). I actually do worry that there's a 'porn star' expectation among men, but if I were not married I wouldn't fold to pressure; I'm very much a 'take me or leave me' kind of gal, and waxing is too high maintenance and painful (not to mention pricey) for me to contemplate.

After reading this thread, I'm glad that I'm married to a hairy man! I actually asked him if he had a preference after one of my chats with girlfriends (not that I would have changed my practices, but I was curious), and he is not into the new trend.

What's funny is that, despite the conversations with friends, this thread is the first time that it occurred to me that I may be the talk of my doctor's office, because I am very much OUT of style in that regard.

Fly, do you know why everyone got out of the swimming pool? Because Mark Spitz. Sorry, I couldn't resist!

So, in addition to my daughter I mentioned this online conversation to my husband. He REALLY surprised me by saying that he doesn't see it as any big deal. He compared it to shaving legs. In fact he said 'you just keep going.' Then he went on a rant about tattoos...Jen, I'm picturing your face now ;).

Ann

Ann, I think your husband needs a tattoo of a shaved ... aw, never mind.
;-D

Flyleft, although ive been reading the decorating forum fora couple of years, i had no idea that there was a conversation section was over here-- also, i had no idea the topics were so ... Spirited :)

so thanks for the lead, and sorry about your verticulum wilt.

May i just say that my first foray into waxing in my early 30s, was a DIY Disaster of Epic Proportions. I waxed far more than was originally intended and at one point had a bathtowel firmly adhered to my elbow. I ended up both weeping and assymetrical.

I also did a full course of laser, it was not really so painful. But unfortunately, not so permanent either.

Auntjen, thanks for the laugh so early in the morning :). And kiki, thanks for expanding it into a series of guffaws thanks to your sharing of mis-experiences!

Have been following (and totally enjoying/giggling along) this thread for a couple of days. Was unsure whether to add my 2cents or not....what the heck- you only live once,right?!
I was always a "bikini line" shaver. I even refused to let the nurses shave me before delivery of my DD. Well last year after 20yrs of marriage I decided to surprise my DH ( gotta keep things interesting ! ) with a "makeover" . Well he sure was surprised! However I have to say it is not only something new for the men. Without getting too personal ( ha,ha,ha- too late right) this changes is NOT just a VISUAL thing. It is a yr later, and I haven't stopped shaving and it is NOT for my DH! In other words, women aren't doing this for their men, they are doing this for themselves!!!!

kiki...you made me laugh so hard ! The elbow thing makes me think of Lucy and what would have happened it she had tried this....can you imagine her calling Ethel and 'splaining what the problem was ??!!

If we play our card right this will go to 150 responses and we will have to go to a part II.

Homebody that is an interesting take on it. Depends on perspective I guess. Friction generates heat....and that is ALL I am saying :) c

I'm gonna have to come over to this side of the forum more often. Hard to believe I got a stern letter from Spike over a semi-bondage thread in Garden Junk back in the day. Goodness. ;^)

I've gone both ways...keep things changed up for The Husband. ;^) Grow-out is always a wee bit...uncomfy. Maybe I'll get it waxed next time and see if that is any better. (Right now I'm segueing intot "winter bush" mode...I'll save waxing for my next beach trip!)

Anybody recall this link?

Here is a link that might be useful: Didn't we see this on GW?

Yep KD that was on here before. very funny. c

That is hysterically funny. I laughed out loud. The only part I don't get is that it appears to be a blog written by a man?

I love this thread. It's the first thing I go to when I log on the computer and I check it throughout the day.

Oh. my. goodness.

I've chuckled a little bit throughout this thread, but my-oh-my, the link from kitchendetective had me rolling. Too funny!

laughed until I cried, kitchendetective! After reading that I think I'll just Leave it to Beaver. Sorry, couldn't resist.

covingtoncat --! That's hilarious. I haven't gotten so many chuckles from a thread since "the cat threw up in washing machine" as mentioned on a thread on Discussions.

I applaud your courage, faron, in sharing with us what we all have shared. Goose and gander alike face very, very tough, serious, important questions on this subject and it's important that we all share information and respect each other's carefully considered choices.

(just kidding)

Seriously, now I'm wondering if I was the 'butt' of jokes in the OR when I had my emergency angiogram...I woke up with a significant part of my right you-know-where shaved, where they had done it fast and not very carefully in order to access my artery. What they did was not aesthetically pleasing at all; I hope it wasn't in retaliation for having to do it in the first place. I mean, at least I'd been wearing clean underwear!

That link is beyond hilarious; I laughed so hard that I'm crying. I sooo needed a laugh; long live gardenweb!

This may send this thread into a whole other topic, but (and this is just my opinion!) I think oral sex is much more common now than ever before. Not to say it hasn't been done forever, but I think there's a trend for kids to want to say they're virgins when they're married, and they don't think of oral sex as losing their virginity...thus there's much more attention paid to that area with a razor/wax/whatever. It's getting more "face time" (HAHA!). When I talk to my kids about sex, they say that's what "most kids" are doing, oral sex, not intercourse.

Just a theory.

For the record, I think it's much more common for a guy to "manscape" than ever before. In my circle of friends, the women generally prefer to groom themselves with a "landing stip." I'm in my mid-forties.

OMG!!! thank you for the link, kitchendetective! That is soooo funny!!! I was drinking coffee while reading it and I burst out laughing, and now my coffee is all over the computer screen!
Off to clean my computer screen now....

Lori, I think you're probably right. I don't know who's responsible for the disservice to the current young generation, but for them not to recognize oral sex for what it is is pretty alarming. I grew up in the "make love not war" generation and body hair was not something to be ashamed of or thought of as getting in the way. It's all in how you approach things. ;)

Natal, that reminds me of a very embarrassing moment! My first year of college I didn't shave anywhere. It was the in thing. Plus I had blonde leg hairs so it was kind of pretty.

I went out to meet my boyfriend's (now dh) parent's for the first time, and my dh blurted out, just out of the blue, "did you know she doesn't shave?" My future MIL nearly choked on her steak!

I think I started shaving soon thereafter. :)

Oakley, I moved from N. California to a beach town near San Diego right after I graduated from high school. None of the cool blonde "surfer girls" shaved their legs. I have no knowledge of other parts.