I don't know how to explain it, except to say you will know. Our Robbie died last year at 15. About 6 months before he died he started coughing constantly, having accidents, and barking incessantly for no reason. He stopped eating for a couple of days before he died, and the day he died he went under the couch and would not come out. They have a way of letting you know.

I am so sorry you are facing this. It is really hard.

texanjana says it well: an intangible something. For us it was a certain look in her eyes that told me we needed to think of her and not ourselves; that it was time. I am so sorry. It's so very difficult....breaks our heart every time. A friend told me her story: as she drove her beloved pup for her last trip to the vet, she rolled down the window and suddenly, though slowly, there she was, up and sniffing he fresh air, nose a-quiver. "Okay, girl, it's not time yet!" And back home they went, where she remained happily another few months.

Oh man...this always hits me so hard...

We lost our beloved Golden, Sashi, when she was 11.

It's so hard to type this...
She couldn't come up the stairs anymore, and was having some breathing trouble, along with bleeding, one morning.

so....yeah...had to pick her up....and take her to.....

Sorry-

Faron
(I miss you Sashi)

This also brings me to tears. We had to put down our collie, Sadie, 5 years ago when she was 15, an old age for a collie. She couldn't get up the stairs any longer and was losing muscle strength, even though we thought (hoped) it was just hip problems. She started showing extreme anxiety at night, scratching at the door vigorously. DH delayed taking her to the vet because he was afraid he wouldn't be able to bring her home. He didn't. Her muscles were wasting away and the vet kindly reminded us that her next step would be inability to control her kidneys and heart. It took 18 months before DH could clean the nose prints off the sliding door to the yard.

There's a painful hole in my heart for every beloved pet, now gone, including my first I lost 47 years ago.

Your vet will offer guidance, taking some of the responsibility off your shoulder.

I'm so, so sorry.
Dee

Most of us have experienced this and it's never easy. We've gone through this with 6 dogs in 32 years and they were all difficult. Most of the time you will know - there will be signs. Some are more obvious than others. With our last dog I came home from the supermarket and he didn't greet me at the door, he just lay on his bed wagging his tail. He seemed normal the rest of the day but the following morning he didn't eat. That was a first and we took him to the vet that afternoon and cam home without him. At age 11 his kidneys were failing.

It would be wonderful if your vet can successfully treat Howard and you'll have many happy days together. But if not we always put our pet's well being first. To us that meant we didn't want our dogs to feel any anxiety or discomfort. That usually helped us with our decision.

I'll be thinking of you.

I'll be thinking of you too, Pesky. I don't have any answers for you. I struggle too, with the inevitable loss of an aging pet, a cat.

Thought I was losing her in June, as I posted here, but she turned a corner & is doing amazingly well as I write this. She's 14 though, so who knows for how long this second wind will last?

I'm grateful for whatever time I have with Jasmine, & I'm sure you cherish whatever time you have with Howard, as you realize he is in his waning years.

It's so painful...excruciating... to even think about losing a pet...but that's part of the journey we must take with them. So sad.

I always felt that if you're questioning if it is time or not, then it is not. When it is time there will be no question in your mind. That's what happened with my Alex. For about 2 years I wondered if it was "time", then one day I knew without a doubt because of her drastic behavior change. I won't bother with all the details here, but the vet confirmed everything and then I said good-bye.

I feel for everyone who has to go through this. So sorry.

TJ is right, you'll know. Kind of interesting though, our Duchess, a Boston Terrier was 15 (last year), and she was starting to go blind in both eyes but could still see. Slept most of the time, no longer could jump up on the sofa. Skinny as all get out.

A few months before she died, she started peeing ALL the time in the house, and she had a bladder infection and the meds didn't make her stop peeing inside.

One morning I woke up, DH had already gone to work, and I caught her in the act, peeing in the LR. It was mostly blood.

I knew then it was time and I took her to the vet to be put down.

But when I called my dh about this, he said while I was sleeping that morning before he left, he knew it was the day to put Duchess down, and she didn't even pee in front of him. I asked him how he could tell, and he said he just could.

Sorry about Howard. Maybe an antibiotic will help him for the time being?

pesky, how current this topic is. My vet is coming tomorrow to help our 18 year old cockapoo along. I've been struggling with this for quite some time. Luckily she has had no cancer, nothing that makes it obvious. She cannot do the stairs now on her own, which means she has some sort of pain. She has always had chronic ear infections, and with the canal just about totally closed, it can't be treated, so, this must be painful too. We also are experiencing the puddles and the #2 piles. She never would have accidents in her younger life. The vet does tell me if she is walking and doing #2, then she doesn't really even notice.

So, I have always been a believer in the saying "you'll know when it's time". However, sometimes we don't know. Sometimes we have to make the toughest call for our pet. We are their advocate. We need to take a long hard look at why we don't want to euthanize. My girl is still very food motivated, so seeing her at the table acting very excited over what we are eating, only makes my decision that much harder.

If you have the opportunity to find a vet who will come to the home to do this, I highly suggest it. It makes it much easier on your dog. And it also gives any other pets in the home the opportunity to see the pet after they are gone. It truly does help the surviving pet.

But, with all of that being said, pleae take your dog to the vet. You might just find yourself giving antibiotics for a bladder infection.

One thing I did read that is very, very spot on:

"Most people believe it's better to euthanize your dog a day too early rather than a day too late".

Once I read that, I really am more comfortable with my very heavy decision. The last thing I want is for something to suddenly happen during the night when I can't get my vet to come. Or for her to slip on the steps if no one is home because she just "has to try and go up".

Best of luck, I truly know where you are coming from.

Bee

Here is a link that might be useful: When to say goodbye

very apropos for me...

we have a 12 yo newfie- a very ripe old age for a newf- she's been doing great, but now does occasionally have difficulty standing up(we have to help her) and is occasionally going in the house (though she stays in the kitchen so she is contained...) but, just by her a very old age alone, i know the time is coming, but knowing when is another thing... i keep (sortof) hoping something(ie:cancer) kills her so i don't have to make the decision! but, i guess as long as she keeps happily eating and seems happy and comfortable, she stay with us...

i've never had to do this before-she is our 1st dog and our previous cats either died when i was away at college or by old age/illness.

If your dog is peeing but not pooping in the house then you might have some luck with the medication Anipryl. It's made for dogs with what I call doggy alzheimers. Anyone who knows me personally knows what i went through with my dog. He lived quite a long time with the incontinence (couple years) but I was willing to make sacrifices other's can't or won't do. I think people are too quick to put a dog down for incontinence because I know they can live a long time with it. Depends on your lifestyle...full time job where you're not home a lot, travel, kids, etc. I continuously wrestled with the quality of life question. He was close to 18 when we put him down.

Here is a link that might be useful: Doggy Alzheimer's

Oh no Bee, I am so, so sorry.

Thank you all for your insights. He's having this problem at night, after we're in bed. I let all the dogs out one last time when I go to bed, but he won't go out. During the day he'll go, but it's that late night time he won't.

Tonight when I came home from work, he was up and moving around and headed outside with the others, so it's not that he's not wanting to go out when they do, which I thought. So I'm not sure what is up. I know he sleeps A LOT now, and it's hard to wake him, but when he's up he's moving ok.

He's mostly deaf, but can hear a bit if you shout his name loudly, and he's partially blind, so that might be why he won't go out at night. I noticed him doing #2 out in the yard, so that's not a problem, he can still make it up and down the lower deck steps.

Maybe I'm just trying to prep myself for in inevitable. I am really, really hoping he'll make it till Jon comes home. He's mostly Jon's dog...they grew up together. And my SS might be coming home to visit, so it'd be good if he could see him too.

He's going to the vet this week, but I think after reading all your comments, that I don't need to panic just yet.

pesky, the vet may tell you he has cataracts. My girl can't see at night very well at all. In fact crossing the threshold is a bit odd for her. Since primarily one eye is bad, that is throwing off her depth perception. So, it became clearer to us that at night we needed to carry her out. But in the day? She can spot a rabbit at the back of the yard. So, it is odd because they don't appear to really have any vision trouble during the day.

We will certainly miss our Maddie, she has been with us since my 23 yr old daughter was in first grade. But, yesterday evening I was watching her, she was doing some aimless wandering in the living room. Then when I went in the kitchen, a puddle. This morning my daughter called to tell me there were a couple of messes and I only left for work an hour earlier. I think she knows it's time and this is her way of letting us know.

busybee, sorry to hear about your newfie. Just to let you know that indeed if they stop eating it means that the end is soon. However, what I have just learned is that dogs have a very strong will to live, so they will keep eating. Keep her pain free as much as possible. Maybe get some meds from vet. Nobody wants her to suffer and I'm sure your vet will give you some oral medication to keep her comfortable and help her get up. We all want our pets to die in their sleep, but that rarely happens. Sometimes we have to make the toughest decision of our lives. I know, I'm doing it right now. If you get to that point, please ask your vet if he/she can come to your home. If they cannot, ask them if they have a vet that they can refer to you for this. The vets that make house calls are a special group of people.

Had to make that decision just last week :( Our 12 y/o golden had oral cancer. The Vet was very understanding and informative.He said that Lily has had quantity of life, now I had to make that decision whether she was having quality of life.The tumor continued to grow over last 6 months and she didn't eat as much, lost weight,stayed in kennel most of the time,no playing or tail wagging, was losing her fur and with the knowledge that as the cancer spread it could break her jaw, I wanted to spare her of any further pain and discomfort.I owed it to her. She was the sweetest

I always felt that if you're questioning if it is time or not, then it is not. When it is time there will be no question in your mind.

I have to agree with that, based on my experience. We had a dog that had developed kidney issues at a rather young age. With a special diet and good vet care he lived a happy, healthy life. But we knew it would be much shorter than average, at some point he would go into renal failure. I knew the day it happened. I called the vet and took him in. At first exam the vet wasn't convinced that time had come, till blood work came back. He said 'this is just another illustration that the bond between owner and pet is often stronger than medicine, and owners often know before we do'. The vet gave us meds to keep him comfortable another day or so, we spent lots of time with our pup, said our goodbyes, and a nephew and two nieces who especially loved him got to say goodbye. We gave him the sedative the vet gave us for the ride back, and took him in for his last trip. He went peacefully. It is never, ever easy letting go.

That's how my dog got started with the incontinence. When they lose one of their senses they can manage but when they lose two then it's really tough for their little brains to cope. My dog slowly lost his eyesight, first it was the cornea and then cataracts. Then his hearing went. Without a way to communicate he slipped into dementia and didn't know how to control his bladder. It began with accidents every now and then which then increased to daily followed by pooping accidents. The only time I could leave him alone was to barracade him in the kitchen so that accidents could be more easily cleaned up. But that got to be a problem when I'd come home to find he had woken up and pooped but didn't know where it was so he'd step in it and pace and step in it and pace. The mess was horrible, we'd have to give him a bath and scrub the entire floor. You know your dog is losing his mental function when you see him get boxed into a corner and not know where to go so he just stands there facing the wall. Or he'll walk in circles. It's a downhill slide with plateaus along the way. The dog adjusted, he slept a lot and ate well.The trick was being there when he woke up. At some point your dog will probably start peeing in his bed because he can't remember that he doesn't like to do that. I stocked up on weewee pads to put underneath his bedding and did laundry every day. I did let it go too long, the issue with me was that he wasn't in pain so I just kept accomodating my schedule to be with him more and more, until I had become his full time caregiver. Each leg downward I would say if he starts doing such and such then that's it. But when he would get to that point I'd deal with it and lower the bar again.

Another problem you need to look out for is aggressive behavior. When my dog lost cognitive abilities he became very mean, to the point where I couldn't touch him without being bit. I would lasoo his neck with a nylon rope the vet gave up in order to coax him out of bed to the back yard to potty.
I too wished for a more severe illness so I wouldn't have to put him down for just being honery and incontinent. He wasn't in pain, loved his meals and up to the last 6 months was still going for walks around the block! It was my quality of life that suffered. Finally it got to be too much. My sweet little dog had regressed to primordial wolf. So on a nice spring day while he was sleeping comfortable in his bed, after having a special steak breakfast, the vet come over and he peacefully crossed over the rainbow bridge.