"and then picked them up and put them back in the pile for someone else to buy."

and probably thought she was being orderly by putting them back where she found them. :)

That's why DH insists that everything we buy must be washed before using.

I wash everything before using too.

Indeed.

I used to work in Caldor's; after that, everything gets washed.

You would not believe some of the places people put things that then get put back on the rack.

At one place I go to, we have 2 posts, 1 is things that have ticked you off, the other things that have made you happy. It's amazing how many more ticked posts there are. lol

Sorry, that was me. We were just trying them out to see if we wanted them. :D

(just kidding!)

Oh, I can top that! lol. I've learned to never buy anything after Christmas, especially if it's in a box.

Remember when Bread Machines became popular? About a week after Christmas one year, I went to Walmart to buy myself a bread machine because they were on sale and I loved the taste of the bread from the machines.

The box had been opened, but it didn't bother me. I figured it was a return item.

But when I got home, someone had stuck a wad of GUM under it, and they stole the CD that came with the machine! I took that thing back and told the person at WM that they need to start checking return items.

Ick.

Yes -- another one that is appalled at some of things that people do when shopping ....

Let their children open toys and the toy packages to play with them -- and then kick the opened toys and packaging under the clothing racks when store personnel came along ....

Open candy packages -- and feed their children -- and then put the packages back on the shelves!

Casually graze (eat) through the vegetables ....

Try on clothing and then fling it on the ground ..... Try on shoes and can't be bothered to place them back on the racks right BEHIND where they are sitting!!!

Jan

Icky Alert.....I once bought a loveseat cover from Kohls that looked like someone took it out of the box to get a closer view of the overall texture (or so I thought!). When I got it home and unrolled it, it had "butt marks" from a dog who was obviously sitting on it alot. After I stopped becoming nauseous, I took it back and complained to the clerk at returns. She didn't put up with my whining/venting at all; just ignored me. Yes, I do wash Everything now, LOL

"Icky Alert.....I once bought a loveseat cover from Kohls that looked like someone took it out of the box to get a closer view of the overall texture (or so I thought!). When I got it home and unrolled it, it had "butt marks" from a dog who was obviously sitting on it alot. After I stopped becoming nauseous, I took it back and complained to the clerk at returns. She didn't put up with my whining/venting at all; just ignored me. Yes, I do wash Everything now, LOL"

This will teach me to be more patient to those who answer posts without reading the OPs, very carefully.

As I was scanning yours, I thought you were talking about buying a toilet seat cover and was trying to imagine the dog squatting on it. :)

That's what I get for reading ahead too quickly.

Parma, that was funny , this is what I pictured......

ROFLMAO!

Let their children open toys and the toy packages to play with them -- and then kick the opened toys and packaging under the clothing racks when store personnel came along ....

Open candy packages -- and feed their children -- and then put the packages back on the shelves!

Casually graze (eat) through the vegetables ....

Try on clothing and then fling it on the ground ..... Try on shoes and can't be bothered to place them back on the racks right BEHIND where they are sitting!!!

Where do you shop??? I have seen clothes left on the floor of a dressing room, but none of the other things you mentioned.

*I* have opened a box of granola bars and let my children eat one while we are shopping. Then we PAY for the box. (And we put the wrappers either into the box or into my purse to be placed in the trash later.) Do you watch them until they put the box back on the shelf? How long do you stand there watching them? Do you follow them through the store keeping your eye on that candy box? If I saw some older woman staring at me and my children in a store, I'd be creeped out. I'm sure some people do these things, but I am too busy (both minding my children and minding my own business) to notice.

I get a little tired of mothers with young children being villanized. When I look at a rug, I unroll at least part of it. If it is small, I unroll the entire rug. I need to know what I am paying for. Unfortunately, I can't strap my children to a hitching post at the front of the store so one of them might step on it. When they were toddlers, they might have asked to touch it if it looked especially soft. I joke about my dirty children, but considering how many wet-wipes and bottles of hand sanitizer I have used over the years, I am positive that my children are much cleaner than other people's dogs! The last time I checked, rugs were for walking on, not licking. I doubt a child's footstep is going to put cooties on it.

I realize that the OP was no doubt talking about out-of-control children with a mother who just didn't care, but threads like these quickly degrade into "slam the harried moms with children" threads. This board seem to be heavily weighted toward older people with grown children or very young people with no children. I stopped asking questions for a long time b/c as a working (time-crunched) mother, I often feel very out of place here. I get tired of hearing about how I should buy something old off Craigslist and refinish it. It's easy! Suuuure ... how about you come keep my children while I do that? And could you work my 40+ hour a week job too? Oh, and hubby needs a few visual aides for his upcoming Bible class. I've already spent 6+ hours working on them, can you finish them up, maybe just 10-12 more hours? I just wish people could see outside their own little world and be little less judgmental of others.

But to add to the topic of nasty, returned merchandise. I can top all of your examples. When I worked for a furniture manufacturer, we received a returned sleeper sofa with a kitten inside.

Great Stars Above! -- sorry about the vent.

just thought I could join the conversation too.

retreating back under my rock ..... trying to keep my eyes forward .....and I don't think I've advocated such work from already hard-working mums ...... racking my brains here ..... nope .....

Jan (slinking and slithering back under my rock dragging my magazines and martinis with me ......)

I shop at Central Market in Austin, and last weekend a mom and dad near me let their 3 kids eat almost every fruit and vegetable in sight. I DO try to mind my own business, but this was over the top. I can tell you they did not pay for the items because they were in front of me in line. I did not say a word, however.

I am a mother of three almost grown children, and I would never have let them do this. It is stealing, and it costs all consumers money through increased prices.

spitfire - I wasn't commenting on the role (mom, kid, whatever) but on how people just don't seem to care about damaging merchandise. These were white bath rugs and the parents calmly stood watching their kids literally march all over the rugs, lie down and then roll themselves up in them. It's one thing to put a rug on the ground to get a good visual. It's another to act like merchandise is disposable. That's what bothered me.

I was thinking about how I have not witnessed what so many of you have . . .but then I realized why. I don't shop at stores very often! I buy online or I buy on CL. We have a Costco membership (DH gets it free from work) but it is somewhat overwhelming for me, so I don't go often.

And spitfire, I agree with what goldgirl is saying . . .while a child touching a rug is nothing, I know I would never let my children behave that way in a store, and it doesn't sound like you would, either. Some parents do a lot of things I'd never let mine do . . .like chase after birds or other animals. My rule with them is, do what you like as long as you respect people, animals, and things. Even my 2 yo understands this, though I do have to watch my 4 yo pretty carefully when she is tired!

Parma/Mitchdes: I only wish that loveseat cover I bought looked that cute, LOL. It was one of those Surefit slip covers, to clarify. Spitfire, there are actually alot of moms with younger kids that post here. I remember someone posted a query that asked how she, as a working mom with kids and hubby, could actually do projects as others do here. My kids are 10 and 12, how old are yours?

deedee, My children are 4 and 10. Since I spaced mine so far apart, I've had a "baby" for almost 10 years. I don't think there are many mothers here who work full-time. (The people who are refinishing furniture aren't working full-time with young children, unless grandma lives nearby!) All my real-life friends are SAHM's who socialize while I'm at work. Since I can't socialize with them, I'm always on the "fringe" of the group. I joined an on-line mommy group to discover that 85% of those moms are SAHM's who post about their playdates, trips to the park, and me-time during mother's day out. I can't do any of that. (But in a few minutes, I get to log into work and trouble shoot a report. Not much fun to discuss, huh?) I'd love to just have a place to engage in "girl talk". I love to garden, but can't really hang with die-hard gardeners. I'd love to have a pretty house, but do not have the time or resources to eat-sleep-and-breathe decorating. I realize that I probably never see the things mentioned in this thread because I rarely have time to shop! A person who sees those things often, is probably in the stores waaay more than I am. (And isn't in a big hurry to get home to make supper for hungry kids!)

spitfire, I am a SAHM with 3 (soon to be 4) children, ages 7, 4, and 2. Honestly, I don't get to socialize that much either, nor do I have time (or money!) to work on my house. I get a chance to jump online for a few minutes throughout the day, but by 9 or 9:30 (when everyone is in bed . . .though those days are soon going to be over for me as I know I'll be up all night for the next 2 years soon) I am mentally done. Thus, online IS my main form of socializing. I am way too tired and busy to have constant playdates and maintain friendships . . .esp. because (IME) they turn into me having to host people at my house for 7-8 hours OR taking care of other people's children for hours. I had to start saying no, and people moved on!

You don't have to eat-sleep-breathe decorating to be here and get some good girl talk in! People give me ideas that I love but could never afford or have time to execute, but so what? I consider it part of the dream stage, and then I live with/make the best of what I have.

I feel VERY limited with what I can do, in general, given the ages of my children (coupled with the fact that I am alone with them pretty much all the time . . .very little family to help, no babysitter, husband works long hours, etc.). I use this is a fun, no pressure outlet. I hope it brings you the same sort of enjoyment!

My boys are about to turn 12 and 14. It's been just over the last year and a half or so that I've been able to realize the wonders of leaving them at home to do the grocery shopping or see a movie matinee with DH. As a matter of fact, date night with hubby is now hitting WinCo on Monday nights to do the grocery shopping.

I don't work out of the house, but I DO work here at home. I work from 7 a.m. until anywhere between about 3:30 and 5, depending on the day of the week and my workload. I've worked at home since the boys were 5 and 3. I do feel the need to point out that I'm working during those hours, not popping a load of laundry in or whipping up a batch of muffins or visiting with a neighbor who might stop by (thankfully my neighbors now know enough not to knock on the door during work hours unless they need something).

It has really only been in the last year or two that we've had the opportunity to actually accomplish things around the house. I remember when they were very young, we painted the family room, hallway, and kitchen. We started painting at 8 p.m. and painted all night long so it could be completed while they were sleeping. Talk about exhausting.

Opening a box of granola bars and paying for the box is not what is being talked about. Watching entire families graze their way through the grapes, cherries, bananas, and tomatoes without paying and without regard for people who are trying to purchase produce that hasn't had all the extra hands in the package is what is being talked about.

I know my time is very limited, especially during the school year. I find it great to peek in here and get inspiration for what our next project might be!

I clarified in my post that I do not doubt that these things happen. However, I just want to be sure that the "venters" actually see the entire transaction and aren't just jumping to conclusions.

A toy is laying in the aisle. Yes, most likely someone removed it from the packaging. However, it could also be a paid-for toy that someone lost. We discourage our children from bringing ANYTHING into a store, but sometimes they forget and inevitably, the item gets lost. I get to pay for the item twice, once in cash and again in my child's tears over his lost toy.

A mom kicks a toy under a clothing rack. If you saw the entire process, that is one thing. If you only saw the kick, you are jumping to conclusions. My youngest is a mouther. He is constantly bringing me wonderful found objects. The thought of him putting a toy in his mouth that has been on the nasty floor of a store, turns my stomach. So I distract him, and move the toy to an out-of-sight-out-of-mind location.

A child is sitting in a grocery cart happily munching on a handful of grapes. Maybe they stole them from the produce section. Maybe they were leftovers from that child's lunchbox. If you saw the entire event, like texanjana, you know. If you just see the child, you have no idea where those grapes came from. I've gotten plenty of hateful stares for letting my children eat (paid for food!) in the grocery store. Not all moms have the luxury of going home and giving their child a snack before running errands.

Does anyone see my point? Make sure you really see what you think you see and that you aren't making assumptions.

I recently returned from a trip to London, where I encountered not even one obnoxious person. But then I landed back home in Boston.

While waiting for luggage, a woman carrying a toddler on her shoulder ran for her luggage, knocking a man onto the luggage carousel. He was prostrate on the thing, with all its moving metal parts! Thankfully, several travelers pulled him off, as the woman continued to the other side of the carousel, to grab a bag. Her nose was bleeding, and she went back to her husband (who was not carrying a toddler on his shoulder). Of course, the luggage she grabbed was not her's, and it ended up back on the carousel. Welcome home!

Spitfire, I work full-time outside of home as well. As a real estate paralegal, the past year has been bleak and stressful and then busy and stressful. I have two sons, ages 3 and 4 and needless to say, my hands are very, very full. My husband and I have also been actively renovating (not decorating or improving, really RENOVATING) our home for the last three years. There have been many start-painting-at-bedtime-nights. But, I hope you will take something away from what anele said. While we may not have the time/money/energy/patience to tackle the projects we see the other ladies on the board tackling, they CAN and SHOULD be used as inspiration and motivation - for those rare, precious times when we actually DO have a chance to get something done. I enjoy decorating and I enjoy coming here as it helps me hone my sense of style. That way, when I have a few minutes to work on something, I pretty much know what I want and what will or will not work.

Believe me, I know how aggravating it is to not have the "TAA DAA!" pics to post like everyone else, especially when you ARE working so hard. But eventually, things will start to slow down and you'll have a little more time and a little more energy and you'll be the one showing off all your great projects. 'Course then there'll be a slew of new young moms in here asking "How do you do it!?!" We just have to wait it out...

Okay, here's my 2 cents. I'm talking about the people who do all these projects, painting, refinishing, just never-ending stuff, whether they be working moms or SAHM's.

Please jump in and correct me if I'm wrong, because I'd really like to know this. I think women who have the energy to do this all the time, are Type A personalities. They're the lucky one's born with energy.

I'm at home fulltime, kids are grown. There are so many days I don't have the energy to get off the couch. And I'm not that old! lol. When I was younger, I could go all day long, taking care of the kids, re-arranging furniture, going to garage sales, etc. Even when I worked full-time I could do those things.

So I've had both worlds. Taking care of kids is HARD, especially when you work.

I really am interested to know if you worker bee's (those who decorate and piddle a lot) have a Type A personality.

I'm not a Type A personality. I'm also not a mom, but I do work (usually 4 days a week). My hubby and I are big DIY'ers and I love *nesting* and fluffing around the house. I also spend a good bit of time in the yard. We have a garden, so I've spent a good bit of time with that this summer. Now we cetainly know how to relax and I wouldn't call our projects never-ending (well, the LIST of projects is never ending but the time we spend on them isn't LOL). I'm one of those that doesn't seem to need alot of sleep, on work days I'm usually up by 5:30 and to bed around 11:00. I rarely nap. Sure there are days I run out of steam, but it's rare that I don't put in a full (and fulfilling!) day.

I'm not sure how old you are Oakley, but not having the energy to get off the couch doesn't sound normal. Have you talked with your doctor about this? Are you getting any exercise?

Goldgirl - and Spitfire, I do get what you are both saying.

tina

danielle: When we have time to do all of those projects, I have a feeling that we are going to miss these days of when our children are young. I took my kids to a store (not for decorating! for milk!) and there were police officers there who looked wistfully at my girls and said, "Remember those days? They grow up so fast . . ."

Sniff, sniff.

Tina, I was diagnosed with diabetes in January. But the doctor's office called me today after my blood work and he wants me to take half the medicine I'm on now because my numbers are so good, and I've lost a lot of weight.

This began in 2004 before I had a hysterectomy, I lost a lot of blood for a few months, got anemia, then had a couple of transfusions, then the surgery. My energy level has never come back since, even though they test me for anemia.

I dunno, my parents and brother always had energy. Guess the genes skipped me. lol

It is frustrating though. I've been known to sleep for 11 hours on weekends and still not feel rested. That's bad. This week I've been getting up at 5:30 and having a bit more energy.

Why can't someone invent an energy pill? Wait, they already did but it's illegal. ;)

Yes, I knew you were diabetic. Do you still see a gyno? Sounds like something possibly with hormones. I've been reading about the bio-identical hormones and wondering about that stuff. NOW I AM NOT ADVOCATING bio-identical hormones, I don't know much about them, but I have read about alot of women who talk about fatigue, etc. and hormones playing a big part in that.

I would certainly pursue the matter, maybe with a different doctor, or something 'cause it must s*ck to feel that way.
You owe it to yourself to feel the best you can!

tina

Many hugs, oakleyok. I hope you find answers soon.

OK I have to jump in here. I am a working mother with 2 kids age 4 and 10 like you spitfire. I work full time, commuting into NYC in a high demand job that requires me to travel. My husband also works full time. I am a harried mother with very little time to do anything. My kids are a disaster BUT I'll be darned if I let then run around destroying things that aren't theirs (like an item in a store) or playing/eating things that aren't paid for. I don't think that being a busy mom excuses anyone from having their kids be so out of control that they are downright disruptive and destructive.

I don't post often on these boards, not because I feel left out, but because sometimes what I have to say is not as interesting as what others are saying. I've found the couple of times that I have posted, people are very friendly and accepting. A majority of posters have kids and many of them do work outside the home. Just because they make time to do things they like/enjoy does not necessarily mean that they have grown/no children or that they stay home.

Reading your post got to me because you are not the only busy working mom out there. So when people hide behind that to make excuses for bad behavior or for feeling left out, I think that's the fault of the individual. Goldust posted an observation that annoyed her to the friends on this board, I don't think it was fair of you to accuse people of trying to turn this into a "slam" on women with young children. That was not the point of her post.

I'm off on the one vacation I get a year so I won't see your response. Trust me when I say that I feel your pain but I just don't think your rant was fair.

I apologize for my rant. I was simply trying to ask that people not jump to conclusions, but I could have done it better. I would be horrified if someone assumed that I was doing something wrong when I wasn't. I was not condoning bad behavior. (For the record, my children are not allowed to run amuck in stores or anywhere else.) Sometimes it just feels like everyone is eager to criticize and not so eager to help.

I decided years ago that I want to be someone who helps. We were in a pool supply store once getting our pool water tested. The line for the test was long. While DH was in line, I was standing to the side with my 2 children. The lady in front of DH was alone with 2 very young children, younger than my little one. She was having a hard time keeping her place in line and keeping her children nearby. They weren't bad children; they were just bored children. They kept playing with the pool toys on display, and she was trying in vain to make them stop. Yes, she could have left the store, but I have to think that she is probably like me and only had that ONE day to test her water. Could she have been a little more prepared or thought of some way to entertain her own children? Certainly. But I also know what it is like to become too frazzled to think straight. So I started playing "I Spy" with my children and asked her children if they would like to play too. We played "I Spy" for 20 minutes or more, always staying near their mom in line. When they finished, we waved good-bye to our new friends. It's not so hard to help.