Are you seeing a doctor? I think good help starts with your personal physician....When I feel that way, I try to stay busy...that's usually when my house is the cleanest....I literally have to force myself but I usually manage to get myself moving and that helps ... or gardening...

(((Kathy))) I hope you go and talk to a Dr. I know alot of people don't want to be on drugs, but sometimes it takes the meds to help you see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is nothing to be ashamed of! I also hope that you have some very good friends/family that you can talk to. It gets very heavy to carry all the burden by yourself. I know that when I have felt overwhelmed with thigs, that I will write everything down. When it is on paper, it seems that it isn't as bad as when it is just wandering around in my head.

I've been there too. I agree. See your Dr. Hormones were a big factor with me. But a lot of other things were going on at the time too. Meds helped me a great deal, to get through my rough times. At least I could deal with them, and not feel so overwhelmed by it all.
Leslie

On the other side of the coin--are you taking any meds? If so, check the side effects. When I was on the BC pill, I felt just as you described. Dr. took me off them and it took a while, but I finally got out of that dark hole. I shudder when I think about it. My heart goes out to you, because I know how you feel.

I have been thinking about going to a Dr. I don't have a family physician and I know I need to get one. Funny thing is I work for 2 doctors! I would have to use medicine on the Walmart 4.00 plan because I don't have drug coverage but maybe something there would help. I have taken medicine before but really couldn't tell if it helped. Guess you just don't know it is working until it doesn't. St. John's Wort seemed to help as much as anything. You just have to take it several times a day. I am 56 and remember being depressed when I was a teenager so I have been dealing with this a LONG time. This morning I just wanted to ask my friends at the KT what worked for them and maybe I would find something that would help me. I hate going through life each day with a black cloud over me. It has been so long since I have been happy. Thanks for your help.

Kathy,

I struggle with Seasonal Depression. I have a tough time from November until February. I have to "force" myself to do anything.

I agree that you need to see your Dr.

Also, "group activities" help me.

OR... Do a search for "clubs" in your area.

Or Healing Groups like "Women in Transition", "Co-Dependents Anonomus" or even "Al-Anon". They are programs that help you on the road to wellness.

Saying a little prayer for you and wishing you sunshine and happiness.

Gayle

Well, I do NOT agree with all the "See your doctor" advice. Kathy said she is struggling under a heavy load. She also has asked, "what to do when depressed," not, "what to *take* when depressed."

Sometimes, life gets hard and the days are tough to navigate. I think it's a mistake to try and medically dose ourselves out of tough times. I don't think it works.

Back in the day (late 1800s and early 1900s), we called this "melancholia" and it was considered a normal cycle of life. There are many seasons (or chapters) to a woman's life and every interesting and compassionate person I've ever known has met (and risen above) enormous challenges.

There seems to be a great need to homogenize life and keep it all on an even keel and not allow anyone to experience ups and downs. And I think that *that* in and of itself is a species of insanity - and a mistake.

Kathy, my best advice is to remember that these tough times are temporary and like the bible says, "it came....to pass." This hard time *will* pass and better days are ahead for you. I also think a network of friends and/or compassionate family members can do more good than a truckload of anti-depressants.

In my case, there was a time when I didn't have a network of friends OR family members, so I went to a therapist and he also helped me sort out the pieces and find my way. I believe he was an angel in my life.

Years ago, I interviewed a woman who survived the Nazi occupation of her homeland. (She was in Amsterdam.) She watched her mother, father and family starve to death and die. She said she got through it by remembering, "this is not how I spend eternity. This is temporary."

When I went through my own personal hell, I wrote affirmations from my favorite people on brightly colored paper and plastered my bedroom walls with these messages. Loving, supportive quotes from my (now deceased) mother, as well as friends were the first thing I saw each morning and the last thing I saw each night. I studied these quotes, memorized them all and sometimes, went to sleep speaking them out loud.

Those words were a rope that I used to climb out of a very dark hole. Things like, "You're an amazing woman and I tell all my friends about your accomplishments" or "your life has been an inspiration to me," or "you're the smartest woman I ever met."

Kathy, I hope and pray you'll find the "rope" that helps you through this tough time.

Rose

I agree with all of the others.I struggle with depression at times. I was offered meds, but to me(in my case) they were a mask,not really addressing the ROOT of my depression.You need to determine if its a physical problem or mental.( mine is from being ill and in pain all the time)
I quilt. It gives me a constructive ,creative outlet,keeps me busy,and other than that I try to focus on the good things, knowing some things I cant change,and have to accept.Deal with one day at a time,take all of the above advice and visit on here often.The friendly folks on here will help to keep you focused!! HUGS, Caroline

Kathy, I think you do need to see a doctor..but don't just let him put you on anti-depressants without running some tests. People with Hypothyroidism often are depressed until treated with thyroid hormone. Hypothyroidism is a very common disease - 1 in 10 women have it.

Read the link below for more info.

Here is a link that might be useful: Depression and Hypothyroidism

Aaawww...I know how easy it is to feel that way and not even realize it. By the time you do realize that you are depressed, it has gotten to the point where you need help immediately. I wasn't into synthetic drugs, but I was open to the naturpathic ways. They are not cheap, but the do work. What worked for myself and several others that I know was accupuncture. I walked into the office crying and I walked out feeling like I was on cloud 9...smiling, light-hearted and full of energy.

I tend to agree with Rose. I have a lot of things I am interested in, like working in the yard, so I try to make myself get out and do that. However, if I felt like staying in bed, I did. I always remember that "this too shall pass". One time I stayed in bed for 3 weeks.

If you are depressed about things that are out of your control...like, for example, if you don't agree with things your grown children are doing, you have to learn to let it go.

You have to learn to not worry about things that are out of your control. If the things you are worrying about are things you can do something about, then start working on those things in a systematic way...making baby steps, if that is all you can do.

Hopefully, find a friend who will listen and let you talk this out. That is a big help too.

Get out in the air and sunshine when you can, and drink lots of water.

Maybe this sounds simplistic, but these are things that worked for me.

One more thing....be very good to yourself. If others treat you badly, there is no reason that you can't treat yourself well. Eat good food, indulge yourself in every way you can.
Build up your self esteem by making yourself your best friend.

Kathy - Please go see a doctor and get a full blood work up - thyroid, hormones, etc. Tell your doctor how you are feeling and after she/he gets your test results, discuss results and possible options. Getting a check up does not equal taking drugs. It simply makes sense to have your health checked. Are you getting outside a bit every day? I find that getting a bit of sunlight on my face really helps my disposition.
best of luck!

I would first go see your doctor, and see
what causing your depression. There are several
medication that you can take for depression. If
one precription doesn't work, another type will.
If you rather not take medication, then talk therpy
is an option.
Mayo Clinic's website has excellent information on
depression, including alternative treatment.

Here is a link that might be useful: Mayo Clinc, Depression

Aww.. I'm sorry... I can tell you some things that I have tried/done for myself or daughter but I do know how difficult it is.. Back 5 years ago I took Paxil for 9 months after my dad passed away.. I guess in a way it helped but it made me numb and I wanted to sleep all the time plus I gained 10 lbs while taking it. My teenage daughter goes to a naturapathic doctor now. She did a whole blood work up and I also had them do a urine analysis (I had to pay for this on my own but insurance paid for the blood workup) They looked at her Vitamin D, a very common vitamin to be deficient in. The urine test showed that her Serotonin was low and she takes 5-HTP every night plus she takes alot of vitamins including several B-50 complex, fish oil and magnesium every a.m. I am not suggesting you take these things, I am just saying that comprehesive blood/urine testing can show things. But maybe start by taking a good multi vitamin that has D and B's added, get some sunshine every day, maybe even a light box. And forcing yourself to get out or exercise.. I know that is so much easier said then done. There is so much information on the internet in terms of natural methods that might be helpful... Hugs to you....

Seeing a doctor is good advice.
There are many reasons why you are feeling this way.

Exercise moves me out of my depression.
I take meds but sometimes more is needed.
During the spring, summer and fall months I stay very busy outside. This time of the year is difficult. Manic-housecleaning (and that's what it is...LOL) used to help and still does to some extent. But as I get older I find I need more from January to spring. I have a airdyne bike and riding it for even ten minutes a day makes me feel so much better! Did you know if you ride an exercise bike (or walk the treadmill, etc. etc.) only during the commercials while watching television you can 'go' as far as five miles on your exercise equipment? No kidding!

I hope you find relief soon.
This time of year is difficult for many but is especially hard if you suffer from depression.

Good luck!

Lori

Kathy-I hate to hear my birthday friend is feeling bad! I'd definitely say talk to a doctor first to get his/her opinion on what's going on with you. Might be some kind of medical reason for why you are feeling low.

But for other ways to help pick yourself up, try to take some time for yourself each day. What do you like to do? Read a good book? Browse stores? Make crafts? Get together for lunch or a chat with friends. Join a club or volunteer for a cause you like. Make yourself get out a try something!

I heartily agree with getting some kind of exercise. Take a long walk around your neighborhood. I notice that when I exercise more, I sleep better! I know what you mean about your mind racing! Try making a list of everything you need to do or want to do. Maybe that will help your mind rest more? I am a big list maker, but I even put stuff on the list that I've already done so I can be sure to have something to cross off!! lol Try to get one thing done each day to help you feel more accomplished!

I really hope you are feeling better asap!!

I think what to do depends on why you're depressed. I agree you should see a doctor to make sure it's nothing physical.

Sometimes, depression is circumstance-related, and that often means money, or rather the lack of. To earn more, have you thought about there being a way you can make money in addition to regular employment? A talent or skill you have that people will be willing to pay for? You'd be surprised. Also, there may be something you are paying for but can't really afford. Letting it go is extremely difficult but liberating at the same time.

Reading a good book might help, something humorous perhaps. When I was around 20 or 21, I broke off with a boyfriend and badly needed strength to resist his pleas and not accept his phone calls. Breaking up is hard as heck, especially when you love someone. But, I was determined not to go back with him and knew I needed something to occupy my mind so as not to dwell on the love situation. Asked my mom for a good book to read, and she told me "The Bible is a good book. It's the best book." I blew her off and she knew it, so she gave me Rage of Angels by Sidney Sheldon. Great book and when I finished a couple days later, I was ready to move on with my life without whatshisname. It was the perfect distraction. But, Mom was right in both her suggestions if you're a religous person. It was years later I decided to read the Bible from cover to cover and found it EXTREMELY interesting. The way the Bible is taught in church makes it seem daunting and difficult to understand, but it isn't at all. It's a magnificent story expressed poetically and filled with all the engrossing charm and intrigue that makes books difficult to put down - love and temptation, triumph and defeat, blood and gore. If you're interested, there are versions available that are written in today's English the way we speak it.

Something else that could be causing your depression is your family situation. If you cannot help them, then you have to let it go. I've learned I have to keep some people out of my life because they cause me problems.

If, on the other hand, life is relatively good but you're still have bouts of depression, then maybe your doctor can prescribe something. This type of depression could be bipolar to some degree, which only medication can help.

I don't know all the circumstances of your life, but it may be helpful to take inventory to figure out what you can and cannot do and what you should do. Just be fair to yourself and know some things you cannot conquer but can overcome. Hugs to you in the meanwhile.

I agree with all the others who say that you should go in for a Dr.'s visit. And have them do tests to rule out anything physical. I don't know where you live or don't know if it is a case of SAD. Seasonal affective disorder That is why you need to see a Dr. to find out. I don't avocate going on 'Happy Pills' unless you really need them to get out of this depression. I find when I am down that if I get busy outside in my garden it helps. Anything to keep my mind occupied; book, movie, music or working on a hobby helps. Just don't sit around and dwell on what is bothering you. Hope you feel like your old self soon.
Clare

Thanks for all the good advice. I am struggling financially. I work two jobs and I have posted about them before. Still I am living right around the poverty level but am paying all my bills on time. It is a struggle but I am frugal. My son totaled his car and we aren't able to get him another so we share mine. He is going to college full time so we have a crazy schedule with the car. I can walk to one of my jobs so that is good. My washer went out and I am having to do laundry by hand so that is crazy too. It is just the pits not to have emergency money when something goes wrong. I do try to do positive things and it helps some. I went to church today and that helps. I don't have any friends so that is why I post on the KT. Hope you don't think I am complaining. I know things could be much worse. I just need some good things to happen instead of dwelling on the bad. If I could get organized around here I know I would feel better but I stay exhausted from working. It's a vicious cycle. Thanks again for all your input. I really appreciate the time you take to respond to me, someone you don't know, and give heartfelt advice. You will never know how you help me and others who have no one who seems to care.

I agree you need to see a Dr, esp if you have not been to one recently which it sounds like you have not.

I do not get depressed just stressed about things here and there. My mind races at night like yours, my Dr gave me Xanax I take one at bedtime only. It changed my sleeping habits 100%. I find I am less stressed now that I get good sleep.

When I am stressed I go shopping, I do not have to buy a thing or have $ to spend just walking in the mall window shopping, people watchng calms me down then I have a coffee or tea and just veg. I got an IPOD Shuffle for Christmas and put some spirtual music on it I like and listening to that also centers me.

Exercise is good too I go to CURVES 2-3 days a week with a pal, we have ice tea at StarBucks after, gossip and tell each other our troubles, we have solved alot of problems that way~~~friendships are maybe what you need, we all need someone to cry and vent with.

If I am feeling really stressed and bogged down with troubles I write everything down that is bothering me and start crossing off the ones I have no control over or are really not my problem and I just took them on for what ever reason. I try to get my list down to no more than 5 worries and just deal with them. Quite often I end up seeing that none of them matter and I just go shopping!

Go easy on yourself, find something that brings you joy and do it daily!! Take time for yourself.

It just seems I am crushed with all the things I have to deal with and can't get out from under them. I have trouble sleeping at night because my mind is racing trying to find solutions to my problems. Then when I do sleep and I wake up it all hits me in the face again and I don't want to get up. It seems I am on the verge of tears all the time now. If you know what I mean, tell me what helps you. Thanks ahead of time.

Exercise helps me tremendously when I get like that. Also, walking or hiking someplace that is beautiful helps me a lot. And prayer.

The other thing that helps me a lot when I get like that - my husband was hurt very badly a couple of years ago, and I spent a lot of time at the hospital and the rehab facility. In some ways, that experience helps me a lot, because it makes me so grateful that I can breathe and walk. I don't wish that experience on anybody, though, as a way to find gratitude. Anyway, I just breathe as deeply as I can and think, "As long as I can breathe okay, it's all good". Watching my husband struggle to breathe after his accident, wondering whether or not he'd be able to come off the ventilator, etc., those memories help me keep perspective. Over and over in the bad times of my life, now, I think about my kids, my husband, myself, "we're all breathing, we're all alive, as long as we have that, we're okay".

I hope you find something that works for you. Worry, anxiety, financial problems that seem to have no end, those are heavy things to bear and I am so sorry you have to go through them.

I also agree with Rose and also with the others to a point.For my own personal self i find that meds are not the end all thing for me,as i have had several meds that caused me problems.So i try to work things out without them.

I have great friends some longer than 40 years,and also grweat siblings even though they are 3000 miles away.

I have hobbies,and they have been my saving grace more times than i can count.I sew,quilt,garden,cross stitch and do general crafts.

I also keep a cd player by my bed and if i can't sleep,i pop in a cd of soothing piano music,but any soothing music will do.Don't want anything i may want to sing along with though,not that i can sing.LOL

Journaling is great,because when it's there in black and white it somehow doesn't seem so overwhelming.And of course there's talking to God,he's never too busy or too tired to listen.

Good luck to ya,and i hope you work thru this.You are soooooooooooooo worth it!!
Kathi

I agree a lot of what Rose said. I have had some very tough times in my life, but I always remember that things will get better. I don't like to take medicine for depression when it is situational depression. Everyone is different though and some people can just deal with life's hard knocks better on their own than others.
If you can possibly stay off the medicine if your depression is because of things going on in your life, I would suggest that you do. Try to concentrate on making the problems better rather than masking the feelings associated with the problems.

Write down your thoughts, journaling helps. Or come to KT and tell us how you are feeling. Ecercise helps, even taking a half-mile walk daily.

When was the last time you took vitamins?

Kathy, if the depression is caused by a chemical imbalance, etc. I see nothing wrong with taking medication to treat it. If you were diabetic, etc. you'd take medication for it, wouldn't you? I've taken Lexapro for the last few years and it seems to help. It doesn't completely take away all the symptoms but it DOES allow me to feel a little more on an even keel.

I also try to cope by talking to friends, getting out and doing something - even just a walk. I think a lot of time it just involves being internally kind to yourself in the middle of all of it.

Good luck to you. Come here, we'll listen!

I sure do feel for you. I'm sure the $$ stress is the toughest part, and you can't stop worrying about it. Having two jobs probably keeps you from having the energy to do much else-- how many hours a week are you working? Are you a member of a church? It would be so nice if you could possibly join a group there to try and make some friends, as being alone much of the time probably isn't good for you. Or at least talk to the minister; they may have a program(s) that could help you financially or otherwise. All is easier said than done! I agree that having a blood test is a must, so that by ruling out any imbalances you can think more about other options to improve your outlook on life. It's true that we later generations weren't taught how to take the tough times very well, especially when it seems those around us have it made. I'm not saying you are complaining! As a matter of fact, I think it's admirable that you keep plugging along with two jobs, and especially that you are keeping yourself out of debt-- no mean feat these days. I wish you better times ahead and good rest.

Please seek professional help with your depression. Having a dear family member that deals every day with similiar to what you have described began having these problems at a very young age and constantly tried natural herbs as suggested by friends. In doing so, he seriously masked his illness and almost died. It has been a long trip for him, several hospitalizations, many different diagnoses many different medications and drug reactions. But, because of his faith in God and determination to be all he could be for God...the appropriate diagnoses was finally made and with the right medications...he now lives independently and functions well. It has not been easy for him or his family, but, it has been worth it.

I really think you know what your diagnoses would be....based on your description of symptoms....and if appropriate, your acceptance of diagnoses is 75% of the battle!

You are welcome to private email me.

Hey Kathy,

Seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness, nor is it a character flaw. I have no doubt that you have already tried to talk yourself out of feeling so miserable. Now it's time to make an appointment with your doctor. Explain what brought you in, and work with him or her to figure out what you can do find some relief. If it turns out that you are truly depressed, you NEED to be under a doctor's care. Don't get ahead of yourself, though. See your doc. The time to decide on what treatment(s) are best for you is after you've gotten professional advice. Good luck, and hang in there.

after reading all the above responses, ... hmmmm ... not sure what i planned on saying next ... BUT ... it seems fairly obvious to me that faith; prayer etc. etc. is just fine ... BUT ...

i am very lucky to have good health insurance; thus, i can see a doctor & have prescriptions i need ... people *without* insurance & very little money are in such a dire, impossible situation in this wonderful country of ours ...

unfortunately, i don't have any suggestions to offer to solve this awful scenario ... one thing we all have is our vote ... make sure yours counts ... study the issues ...

sorry, didn't mean to sound preachy, but this story breaks my heart; & i feel sooooo helpless ... phyl

Well, this thread just hits a big chord with me. At present, I am very depressed over my situation at work, and I got so upset, I couldn't even go to work anymore. I went to a counselor, who was helpful, but she said I needed a lot more than Prozac (which I'm taking), and that she was going to refer me to a psychiatrist. I'm having to go through Worker's Comp to get one, and I still don't have an appointment. I haven't been to work in a week come tomorrow.

I went out and worked in my yard, and it made me feel a lot better, but still, I can't seem to drag myself into work. It's very scary being this depressed, and having to wait for help.

Kathy, I don't know what you're passionate about, but whatever it is, do it! If you love music, turn off the t.v. and listen to music. If you love to read, read. Do whatever it is that makes you calm and relaxed. I've been down the road of having too much on my shoulders many times, having been a single mom for 20 years, so I can really relate. My doctor once said I have "situational depression" and once the stress is off, I don't need meds anymore. I've gone off and on them for a long time, usually for no more than 6 months at a time.

I also remember reading that lack of magnesium can cause depression, and that everyone in America is deficient. I've also started taking a multi, and some extra stuff, like a calcium-magnesium-zinc supplement, and EFA (Essential Fatty Acids). It's amazing what these things can do for you.

If you're menopausal, try taking some of the soy supplements. There are inexpensive ones you can buy.

Believe it or not, 30 minutes of exercise a day can release endorphins and cure depression. It's been proven in clinical studies.

If nothing else helps, Wal-Mart has the generic equivalents of both Prozac and Paxil for $4. Beware Paxil. They're finally admitted it's addictive. I took it once, and it has some nasty withdrawal symptoms...nausea, headaches, etc.

You can email me if you want to chat. I'm here for you.

I've suffered from depression my whole life. The best cure for me is a herb called 5-HTP. It adds more serotonin to your brain. The dosage is 100mg 3x a day. I purchase NOW brand at iherb.com. You cannot mix it with any other antidepressants. It helped me feel much better within days.
Good luck,
Donna

I agree with Rose and Mallory (Bestlawn). Your current depression does not seem to be physical and medication may not help.

I've been there too, in the same situation that you are right now if not worse. I mean, I was suicidal at the time, so it was quite bad. I went from size 12 to double zero! Still, I got it over without any professional help and no prescription drugs. I believed the same thing that Rose mentioned, it was "temporary" and "it will pass". I just had to be patience and find something to get by it.

In my case, I found talking was not a great help. It was actually, more painful to talk about it. It's like chewing a bitter piece of gum over and over when all you wanted to do is spit it out. I didn't want to be under the influence of some drugs neither. I understood from people I knew who used them that getting off from them wass not easy and dependency was not something I needed at the time.

From your description, your depression seems mostly come from overexhaustion of life activities & responsibilities. You try very hard but not getting anywhere, right? Physically, you're tired and when you're low on physical energy, you don't feel like having anything left to push onward, right?

When that happened to me, I stopped all activities after working hours. That means, no exercise nor anything that demanded physical activities. I'd take a 15-30 minutes bath to relax my body. If I have more time, I'd take a nap or have longer night time sleep. These do 2 things for me: 1) Get myself away from everyone, 2) Physically energize me back. Remember, low energy may be a source of depression.

Seems like, we are more lack of physical energy during the Winter when the day time is shorter. When the sun is up, I'm very energenic but when the sun goes down, I feel like doing nothing and just go to bed or lay down and watch something funny (comedy). I know many people are like this. It's the same with when it's rainy or cloudy. So, I keep my home very lit up and bright, not throughout the house but just the room that I am at.

Mallory mentioned taking vitamins. I found that taking daily vitamins with some extra iron boost up my daily physical energy. It helps my mood tremendously. I take the "Equate" brand from Wal-mart, Women's Daily Vitamins, it's inexpensive and it works well. Give at least 2 weeks to feel a difference in your energy. If you can afford it, take some extra iron for a couple of weeks and get off for a couple of weeks, etc. Be careful with iron, it can be poisonous if you take too much. Having to buy prescription drugs to help your mood only adds up to your financial difficulties and if you're depend on them, it makes matter worse if you can't come up with the money to pay for it. Start with vitamins and if after 3-4 weeks, it doesn't help, then go and have a physical check up.

As for your financial difficulties, for the moment, you seem to barely make it and that's not as bad as being in deep depth, don't you agree?
I used to work in a medical clinic and made minimum wage too. I finally forced myself looking for another job. The changes sure helped my mood. Eventually, from that job, I was able to jump into a new career that pays decent salary. I'm still living on paycheck to paycheck but I'm now able to have some savings for rainy days and my living condition improved tremendously. Although, rainy days come more often, I come to accept it more gracefully. Maybe, you should do the same. With your medical experience, I'm sure you can find better pay elsewhere.

Gardening was my biggest contribute to get over my depression. I found that with little care, the plants rewarded me with flowers and its beauty. Most of all, it NEEDED me when no one else did! For some strange reason, the plants gave me a reason to go on. I still do gardening as much as I can. In the winter, I have pot plants indoor to take care for.

These helped me and I hope they can help you too. In the mean time, here's a ((((((BIG HUG))))) too =o)

Hello Kathy, I just saw this post. KT is a fantastic place for support. I have major chronic depression - which is a chemical imbalance. This was determined through blood work with a doctor and long talks. A doctor is the best place to start.
Taking time for yourself each and everyday is another place to start. For me, KT - even lurking and reading makes me feel like a part of a large friendship. Come here any time you need a friend or just feel like lurking.
Many of us have been where you are, for me it's part of my life. Learning coping skills helps. Let us know if we can do anything at all.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I'll pull you along and later, you can pull me along!
(((((((((((Kathy)))))))))))))

I'm feeling really down about everything lately, and my self-esteem is in the toilet. I'm physically and emotionally tired. I'm working a lot of hours and don't sleep well. Right now I don't want any kind of medication (I'm presently on HRT, and Boniva for my osteoporosis). Thanks in advance!

Life can certainly be challenging. I am so sorry you are feeling so miserable. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate.

Perhaps you need to change something in your life. Maybe one job that pays more that is rewarding to you.

Sometimes we keep doing the same things over and over and we get the same results. Try something new.

I have never worked two jobs, but I have worked 40 hours a week and took College Courses at the age of 50. But, my job was fun and I loved my classes, when I look back, I don't know how I possible pulled that off. Then I realized it was my "happiness" that made it so easy. I was asleep by the time my head hit my pillow. I woke refreshed and looking forward to the day. Most of all I was proud of myself. My self esteem was fantastic and I automatically lost weight. LOL!

Think about it. Is there something you can change?

Gayle

mcpeg - what kind of bloodwork determines if you have that chemical imbalance?

I think, you may be able to write things off your mind.

For instance, put a writing tablet and pen next to your bed. When you lay there, and can't sleep, write down what makes you ponder.

Each item on a separate page, that way you don't even have to stay in the lines, or worry about turning on a light.

The next day read your list. Tear the pages out. Take a note book and write all the stuff from your list in your book. Now, look at them critically. Is there anything you can change about any of those problems? Make them smaller, disappear, or???

If there is NOTHING you can do about a problem, highlight it. Try to learn, to let that one go. After all, there is NOTHING you can do to change it. For the ones you can change, underline them, till you managed to change them, then cross them out.

Slowly you will work through all your problems, and figure out solutions all on your own.

Try it, it costs nothing but a note book and a note pad.

Good luck.

Moni

Hi Kathy...First, let me say that you seem to be doing a great job what with working two jobs and all the daily "**it" one has to go through. My only experience with depression is that my husband of 25 years has suffered with it ever since I have known him. We also have a son with bipolar! Needless to say, my once happy-go-lucky personality has taken a nosedive. Some days are bearable and others, not too much. I take Prozac, and have for the last 4 years. It is one of the least expensive medications ($14.00/month) - where I live in NY. Your MD can prescribe it for you, but you have to make sure that it is the right medication. Sometimes it takes a while to find out which one works best.
Anyway, I just want to say that you are very courageous because I know how hard it is to live with depression. Hang in there, not only for yourself, but also for your son.
I will keep you in my prayers.

Get help.

The type of help you need/want will depend on the type of person you are.

If you absolutely do NOT want to take medication for depression, it is still a good idea to see your medical doctor for diagnostic reasons. Many people have already mentioned causes of depression that have nothing to do with your brain chemistry.

If you are a religious person, seek something within your faith to help you, whatever that might be. As a Christian, prayer, Bible reading, and a quiet meditation time is what I like. That might not suit you.

There should be an employee assistance program at your job, look into it.

What are your hobbies? Do something that meshes with your interests. It doesnt have to cost money. I love to garden, so getting in the dirt helps me. Looking at seed catalogs (free online) is fun also. Walking in public parks is along the same lines.

Go ahead and cry. I read a book one time by a woman who was grieving her son. She didnt want to get out of bed, and she cried all the time. She began to give herself a timeout to cry. She would set a clock or timer, and when her time was up, she made herself stop. She decreased the time bit by bit, and was able to change her behavior. Just a thought.

One of the most important things is to keep communicating with someone(s) who cares. There are so many people here, from so many backgrounds that someone will surely be able to help you through this.

Most of all, take care of yourself.

anette

(((((((Kathy))))))))

ole joyful

Kathy - how are you today?

Cheerful 1 - I went to a mental health hospital and had a full medical exam and the doctor had 5 vials of blood drawn. He was checking a number of things (I don't know what though). I was told he could see the imbalance in my blood work. That's all he told me. Speak to your family doctor. I have a lifelong history of depression and panic disorder (a side effect of damaged nerves). If you're not happy with you doctor, try to get a referral to a mental health doctor. It's a long, long road sometimes to find what works for you. In my case I was advised my problem was chemical, counseling alone would not stop the imbalance.

Kathy, please let us know how you are doing.

Thanks, mcpeg.

I have an appointment with my GYN in May to follow up on the HRT I'm taking. I'll talk to her about it.

Cheerful,

I hope you are feeling better today!

Gayle

Thanks, Gayle!

I feel a little better today; trying some coping mechanisms. I really feel it's something chemical that causes my anxiety/depressed feeling. I notice that when I'm feeling anxious, my joints hurt. I don't know which is the cause, and which is the effect. I'm glad to have these forums where you can vent, give advice, etc.