Oh Sands! I'm so sorry! I reccomend CHOCOLATE! The darker the better. A nice glass of wine and wouldn't hurt either. I really hate getting appliances. My microwave (about 5 years new) sits on a shelf on top of my microwave cart. An actual shelf that I bolted to the top of the cart because I did not realize that this microwave was about 6" deeper than my cart. Oops! I hope you can work this out. I'm afraid this is going to be me when I get my new fridge later this year (hopefully before this one dies). The spot built into the cabinets narrower than most fridges, and there is a wall to the left. I'm afraid that I won't be able to get in the freezer (I want a side by side, yes stainless because I too love wiping off fingerprints). I'm inserting my quarter now... clink!

Go straight to Scotch....works faster!!
I hate getting new carp! I just want the old stuff to last forever!

See if you'd gotten a nice vintage Amana Radarange Oven it will still be working when you're pushing up daisies and with the convenience of the drop down door you wouldn't have to remove any tiles...
ducksn runs

who wudda ever thought....

Plan B: DH decides to the assist the assonance and assauge the appliance adorer with an Adora [GE Dishwasher]. Glenn buys me a stainless dishwasher to smooth over the disaster that is my kitchen. Good move since the dishwasher was a POS bad move since the dishwasher was tiled into the cabinet line. We buy and bring home said DW and DH attempts to remove the existing POS.

5 hrs and 2 pts of sweat later he's on his belly on the floor and the kids are hiding in the pantry and know 7 new words. This is my consolation prize? Oh boy there's a lawyer in my future and I'm not even on Moment of Truth. All the stuff above the micro is on my counter right of the fridge and all the crap under my sink is over against the wall by the foyer to kitchen door. I could open a CVS. DH decides this is a good time to rebuild the floor of the sink base cabinet. OK no problem I like all my cleaning goodies out on the floor I may chug some Clorox Clean-Up in between making veal piccata and chicken nuggets, thanks for making it available!

Since we've ripped out the tile my stove is now forward thinking - by 4 ft in the middle of the kitchen. And the hole where the convection micro might have lived is still vacant and taunting my DH. We now have to return the Conv/Micro [we stopped the range before it got here] and we now face a 25% restocking fee for an item that didnot fit in the space it claimed to lest we dig a furrow in the wall [and yeah we did dammit didn't work] Dh is now behind my stove with pallet of wall putty and spackle and pissed -look out! I'm up in the master BR on the phone with my mom inquiring about reservations for the next millenium.

I need a zero clearance hinge microwave and a Xanax. I have none of the above. I'm ready to accept any micro and please just put my range back when my outlaws call and say they do want my range. Dh gets a renewed sense of purpose, I search the medicine cabinet for anything other than Lipitor and Norvasc aaaaaaaaaaagghhhh nada. Good God I went to catholic school does that not count for anything people?

Insert coin for Plan C.

Well, you have to give your husband credit for trying... really hard. Sounds like he just wants to make you happy. No, you don't even have to say it, we all know you would be happy if everthing was just back where it used to be, but it sounds like he's not going to stop til he's happy with the solution. I sure hope there is a happy ending for you. This is like some sort of Appliance Soap Opera. Linda may be right about the scotch, although I prefer margaritas. Maybe a few appletinis???

I'm inserting two coins because a quarter just is not enough at this point. Clink! Clink!

Thank you J for being so supportive and putting things in perspective. I really do appreciate that DH can do this stuff I do! It's just hard to watch him go through it some times.

Plan C: I now have a stainless microwave [sadly not a convection] on a dolly in my kitchen awaiting it's rightful place. Weirdly enough it's a f***ing GE the same brand that screwed me over in an $800 conv/micro. Yep we checked the hinge, digging a furrow in the wall is now considered passe'.

The stainless GE range arrived today as well. DH arrived about 4 hrs later and opened every item in the oven space so he knows what he has to install tomorrow - he's installing the range and Micro tomorrow.

Like Jcrowley said - how wonderful that he is able to do these things. I agree. I'm so tired from all this, I just wanna be able to cook. I made all of dinner in the toaster oven... not fun with 2 kids and a hungry DH

You should have married a mechanical engineer to cover your bases. :^) Note - I'm also an EE married to an EE though in mid-life he switched to software.

How about one of the Kitchen Aids with a drop down door? Or if it is too high for that to be convenient, they have 27" ones with a trim kit out to 30" which would solve the door clearance problem. The website has handy things like dimension guides and installation guides on line so you can scope that out before you get it. They have plain and convection models.

We have been quite happy with the performance of ours - but what do we know - when we got it last year it replaced one we bought in 1979 and that one wasn't getting better with age.

Also, you can get the stainless steel cleaner that comes in a spray on can - it makes the surfaces resistant to finger prints.

Here is a link that might be useful: Kitchen Aid microwaves

oh, sands! So sorry for your struggles!! But thanks for giving me some entertainment! You have a knack for humor writing.

I'm also married to an EE--hardware geek. But he's that rare breed of EE that says "why don't you just hire someone for that!" ;-)

It sounds like you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! I hope the installs go smoothly tomarrow! So frustrating when a simple task snowballs into a huge nightmare. I do think you are lucky to have a husband who does these things for you, in my house I do all of this type of work, I don't dare let my husband anywhere close to where work is going on. You don't even want to know what would happen! Forget plan Q, we would need to call the fire department, or at least our insurance agent. LOL!

It sounds like you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!

Darker than a black hole, than the black void where my GE profile was to find it's new home. It's now in Best Buy's "Open Item" purgatory - the stupid thing was 31" acoss the top vertical piece [where you set to bake etc]. So DH pulls me out of work to go back to BB - he took the day off so hey why not torture me?

Q: If A man installs an appliance in the forrest can anyone hear him curse??

We get to Best Buy and just when I think I'm out of options [cue clouds-parting-heaven music] there is my LG - someone returned it and it's now even less expensive. Mine! Mine! Mine! I skip back to work on cloud with a delivery date of Saturday. And the rain stopeth, the sun parts the clouds, the villagers dance and the children skip and laugh gleefully about the maypole.

Until...

Larry David aka DH wakes me up last night and wipes the "Top Chef Chioago" premiere smile off my face with this news - the LG is too deep - in the corner it's in [who designed this kitchen Picasso? Dali? The Unibomber?] the adjacent drawer and cabinet would bang into the protruding 2-3".

If we ever get an oven I swear I'm sticking my head in it.

OMG! I swear, it's obviously men who design these things, that's why the parts never fit together! My kitchen and laundry room are both the same way. I had to pick a washer and dryer that were not too deep or they would block the doors to the room. I think I get to choose between , sigh, ONE side by side fridge cause it is the only one that seems to exist that will fit in the space built into my kitchen, the rest are too wide, too tall, or have the new ice on the door icemakers which means, since it will be against a wall on the left and the door can only be opened 90 degrees, I can only reach two shelves! (OK, I admit, part of the problem with the fridge is me. My old top bottom fits fine, although I have to pull the fridge out and turn it to remove the meat and the vegi bins to wash them, but it works. But I want a side by side, and it's gonna be pretty, stainless, with crushed ice and water through the door, air filter, water filter, digital temp controls...) Yes Sands, I too feel your pain! I wish I could think of something to make you feel better, if you were my neighbor I would bring you cookies (or cookie dough which is my one neighbors preference). I know this will work in the end, somewhere out there is your perfect range. And please don't stick your head in the oven, we would miss you!

Do you need help? I'm sure a lot of people here have experience with odd shaped spaces. You could always post the measurements and I'm sure people would be happy to search the internet for your perfect oven match. I have to admit, I would love to see your kitchen layout, it IS beginning to sound like it was designed my Picasso!

Now, on a lighter note, I see that you also watched and enjoyed Top Chef Chicago last night. Was that Duck scrumptious or what? And being a Chicago native, I cannot believe the number of people who could not make a pizza when given the dough and toppings. I felt sorry for Padma and Rocco.

Are we finished inserting coins, or is there more to this saga? However much your purgatory is painful to you, your writings are making me laugh! I love your way, but I wish you luck to be out of this purgatory and onto cloud nine!

Sands I am sorry you are having such a difficult time finding an oven/microwave. I am however really enjoying reading about it, (sorry if that sounds sick). You have a wonderful way with words, and should really consider your own blog. I hope you find the perfect oven soon!
Good Luck.

Shelley

Ah the saga is sooooo far from over - a new chapter unfolded today but I just got home, Survivor is on...

and I'm jealous of their campfire.

la la la loser. LOL

I'm glad it's entertaining you guys, it's cathartic for me to twist this mess into the Angina Monolog. The drinking helps too.

Plan D: I call Best Buy this morning and cancel [sob] my LG range. I touch base with yet a third Best Buy employee, Eddie and explain the horror show that is my range roving experience. I'm now so familiar with the BB employees that I have an invitation to Easter Dinner and a "Save the Date" card.

Based on the explicit dimensions that DH and I have now determined I offer up the possible purchase of a Whirlpool range. Apparently Whirlpool is the only manufacturer thus far that actually provides depth measurements that include the adjacent drawer thwacking handle in their specs. I really need pictures to explain where this stove sits in my dumbass kitchen. I'm between a rock and a hard place - nope, I'm between a corner and a wall space. Wall left, corner right.

Whirlpool has a range that, although it does NOT have a fifth burner, has a range with a modern grill that crosses the entire cooking surface. Two other features that I appreciate: A top oven rack that has half removable so one might cook a tall item - a turkey or crown roast and still have two racks to the left to cook sides. Oh good God I just cemented myself as the holiday house didn't I? Tell anyone and I'll sign up for a surcie and send you a hand grenade...that is, if I have any left from remodeling my delightful kitchen. I'm making chili with the schrapnel.

The bestest epilog from this yummy transaction: No new [4th] stove until April 5th. So unless my boys believe that my armpit is a panini press I gotta figure out how to make food with a microwave and a toaster oven.

Color me insane but I suggested bringing the old stove [in the garage] back into the house and hooking it up until the new one deigns to appear [it had better come with Eric Ripert and Anthony Bourdain on either side or I'm going to be seriously disappointed] but DH has vetoed that since we are going on a ski vacation in the interim and he seems somewhat threatened by my relationship with Eric Ripert.

Sands, I'm sorry you are having to go through this, it sure is giving me a chuckle though.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about bring the old stove back in....we'll help with non-stove/oven meal ideas. Your armpit panni press idea has real merit and you can always fry eggs on an iron and make curling iron bacon...it's really pretty.

Nancy

LOL Nanc you snot! I made scrambled eggs in the micro tonite so THERE lol.

Do help with the non stove/oven ideas please! I have a crock, a toaster oven, a micro and hahhhaahahhaha my dh on BBQ.