What do you think of therapy? (kinda long)

13 years ago

I'm a long time lurker here and I've enjoyed reading the posts and getting to know about you all so much. I'd like to get your opinions about therapy or counciling but I'd like to give a little background first. I was raised in a home where daddy was abusive and my mom was 'not there' emotionally. I was molested by 2 of my brothers (I'm the youngest of 5) from age 5 til we moved at age 9, also I was molested by a neighbor, cousin and an uncle. After we moved, there was an old man down the street who molested me as well as a female that went to school with me. At 20 (I'm skipping through a good bit here) I was raped by my then boyfriend who was abusive as well. Several months later I met my first husband, who was abusive, we stayed together for 18 months, at which time I made him leave because I was 8 months pregnant and he was still hitting me. I stayed single/celebate for over 8 years and then met and married my husband and we've been together since 1990 - 17 mostly happy years and he's a very good and patient man. Our love life was pretty good the first few years, but then after a few of life's trauma's - my mom's death and a miscarriage (of triplets), etc, I began to go into depression, which thankfully I'm so much better now, but my concern is that we haven't been intimate in YEARS, and the last time we tried, it felt like I was being ripped (yes, we used lots of lubrication) apart. Here's my question(s). Should I go to a therapist or a phycologist or what? Does anyone have experience with either that they'd like to share? I've been to counciling 3 or 4 times now, but it was with pastors of a church, not that it's not as good... I have a list from our insurance of therapists in our area and don't know which one to choose, although I know I'll choose a woman. I've also had medical check ups to look for a solution to the pain issues and my gynicologist can find nothing. I'm on HRT (I'm 48 and post menepausal) (excuse my spelling) as well. I know this sounds nosey, but I feel desperate to find some help for us. My husband, bless him!, has told me that he'll stay with me even if I choose to never be intimate with him again, but I'm not planning on testing just to see if he's telling the truth or not, and he IS very truthful... And I'm not so sure I'd just be doing this for him either. I know I need help, I'm just scared, I think of the unknown, and would like to hear some other experiences or advice. Thank you for any replies, I know this is long and personal... Nancy

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