Hi maifleur, my wife whom I'm separated from has gardenship of the girls, as I'm not Blood relation to them Here in Missouri they stopped the parenting grand parents program, but we get medicare on them and $200.00 in food stamps to help feed them, that is all we get. If we were foster care parents we could get a lot of help. I love the girls as if they are my own and will not turn my back on them, no matter how bad it gets. I was at the V.A. Clinic and did my monthly weight program and had my Blood taken to see if My blood sugars are where they need to be, they wasn't and I ganined the weight back I had lost from walking. They set me up with some more light stretching exorcises and said I should stay with the cane for balance, so that my upper back and neck will remain strong. I had my depression medicine incressed from 150 milligrams to 300 milligrams and was given a new medication to help with pain at night and help me sleep better. I had my primary care doctor, look at my bruise hip and back and had a couple Xrays done on it. Its still sore along with the muscles that I pulled when falling and the abrasions are starting to heal. I used the neck stretching device every other day for three months and all I got from it was more and more neck pain and Migrains, so now I do a few light neck stretches and hope that will help some. They did have me on a lot of exorcises at first when they found out that surgery was out of the question do to the bone disease, many of which I couldn't do, but some did help a little and I still do them as they help me walk better. As Medicare says I make to much money to get most of the help my wife does which house care and nurse that comes in to look at her feet because she is Diabetic and so on, also if she has to go to the Emergincy Room that is all paid for, My Medicare just pays a little over half of any emergincy room visit. I'm still paying on the last one as my share was $563.00 the total was close to $2,000 so I was luckey there. I don't see how they figure I get to much SSI money as a $1,000 isn't very much to begin with and then I cut that in half to give to my wife ,because we still care for each other, but just can't live together, do to economic reasons and the fact I suffer from bad dreams from the War and can get real mad for no reason at all, so we get along so much better since we parted and I take the kids for the weekend or when ever she needs me to, although having them is really stressful, I do yell some, but most of the time I'm in control. It helps if we all take a long walk while they are with me. I have even salvaged a old computer for them to play on although they won't be able to use the internent. George W. Z5-6 Mo

jkom, Thanks for that article and link. I agree that adding home care greatly increases the premium, but all things considered, I think it's worth the extra premium. I had a quote a few days ago for coverage (both skilled nursing facility as well as home care) for both DH and I. The coverage was $200/day, 4 year max, 5% inflation coverage (compounded) and a 90 day wait period. The premium for us both was $5000/year. The company was one of the big ones. We'll probably go with a $150/day coverage to get the premium down a little. In our area, the average cost is about $175/day. We can handle some financial pain, but not the catastrophic costs of a long term stay in a SNF. I need to ask about the tax qualification of the plan we're looking at, but we have so few deductions that it won't be long before it won't even be worthwhile to itemize, so for us, that isn't a major consideration.

Thanks for your input. She apparently quit her job because of stress and an abusive work situation as I understand it. That was probably a year ago and since then things have just been piling on. Yes, it is called medi-cal...I had it backwards I guess ! I live in Pa. so not near enough to help her. I looked over old emails. She said when she looked into it, she was told that to receive help you have to either have children (she doesn't) or you have to be an illegal alien. That really made her angry. As you said, when you are depressed, you need some outside help and you don't think clearly. I don't know if that could possibly be true. Anyone from Ca know? I guess I could try to contact someone there and find out. Thanks, Socks, for your kind comment. My brother divorced their mom and created a lot of emotional problems for the wife and two kids that extend to all these years later. I wish I had a magic wand. My neice's life is really a mess.

Dear alammy, I see the date of your original post was a year ago. However, your description of the dilemma (involving your husband & son) is very similar to mine right now (there are significant differences, but the similarities are what caught my eye and interest). Because of these things, I hope you (still) get notifications from this thread and could answer a couple questions for me? 1) did you happen to follow either of the two suggestions offered on this board? I saw one suggestion thought you could consult a family counselor. The other poster suggested you pay for your son's rent and doing so could buy you both some time (no pun intended) to get him help by seeking additional support/ assistance? 2) Would you mind posting a follow-up (or update) now that a year has gone by? I feel for your situation, whether it has passed or is still ongoing. I hope to reconcile my problems with my son, but I doubt it will occur soon. I feel some problems, especially those which involve mental health issues, chemical or substance abuse, divorce or family involvement, and/or legal issues, can be long, drawn-out processes which do not get resolved quickly. Additionally, contrary to what many people may think when superficially reading others' problems, the issues we all face are rarely singular in nature and are frequently layered issues complicated by unique and individualized lifestyles or economic status. Thank you for your post, vet