Over the decades, I have taken animals to the vet to be euthanized and never brought them home again, taken them to the vet for euthanasia and brought the body home again, and had them euthanized at home. Of those options, home euthanasia has been easiest for all concerned - the animal being euthanized and the surviving animal siblings. In my experience, animals - cats and dogs (and horses) - have an instinctive understanding and acceptance of death as long as they are given the opportunity to acknowledge it. The only time I have seen my animals experience angst and grief after the loss of an animal companion is when the companion simply "disappears", never to return home again. But as long as the survivors have the opportunity to acknowledge the body after death, acceptance of the passing seems nearly automatic and involves little or no lingering anxiety or grief. For this reason, I now try to have euthanasias performed at home so that the animal who is passing can be as comfortable as possible, and the animal survivors know exactly what has happened. If the survivors choose to remain in the room during the procedure, they have that option. If they choose to go elsewhere, they may do that. The euthanasia itself doesn't seem to upset them, though the vet's presence may. After euthanasia is completed, I lay the body on a dog bed in the livingroom overnight to give all of the other animals the opportunity to "view" the body before I take it to the crematorium the next day. If I must, for some reason, have the euthanasia performed at the vet clinic, I now always bring the body home for the overnight viewing so that the other animals can acknowledge the passing. It really does help them accept the absence of the passed animal without anxiety. If there is any way to avoid it, I will never again have an animal euthanized without giving the other animals the opportunity to view and acknowledge the body after death. I would not, however, take surviving animals to the vet clinic with me to witness a euthanasia. The trip to the vet would cause undue stress for the survivor(s). The viewing of the body should occur at home, not at the vet's clinic. Laurie

I don't think this is warrants counseling. This is nothing more than two boys trying to figure out their place in the family. My two daughters, age 15 and 8 argued like this for a while, contradicting and trying to correct the other one. The way I stopped this was I let them know the pecking order - I'm the momma, and I'm always in charge. If I'm not around, D15 is in charge. D8, you are low man on the totem pole, your job is to listen to your big sister. D15, your job is to be a good big sister and look out for her, but if I'm here, you step back and let me handle things. And I backed this up. If I was going to the store, I left D15 in charge, and told D8 she had to listen to her sister. The only time I stepped in was if D15 was being mean to her sister. Other than that, D8 knew she had to do what her sister said. Of course, D8 didn't like at first that she had to do whatever her sister told her to, but once she accepted her role things went a lot smoother. And once I got D8 to respect her sister, D15 took her responsibility seriously and started looking out for her little sister. Once everyone knew where their position in the pack was, there wasn't any more arguing. Now if I could just get them to stop interrupting each other . . .

I am sorry for your loss. It is always hard to loose a close family member. I have lost both my parents, both brothers & one of my daughters. Try to remember the good times, he at peace & not in pain anymore.

I have 3 younger sisters. One is only a year younger than I, the next is roughly 7 years younger and the youngest is 10 years younger. I am not that close with them. The younger ones are closer and they have more ways of bonding. They are more inclined to visit with each other, talk on the phone, go to movies, etc. None of these things are up my alley. I will go to dinner once in a while with them and hold my tongue most of the time. I was more of a mother hen when we were growing up and obviously, that is not my role to them now. Also, when I moved out at 18, I got married and kids followed now too long after that so I have been in a different place for a while. I also figure that one has only so much of themselves to give, and since I have 2 children with special needs (one medical, one developmental), I simply do not have the energy to devote to try and establish those bonds with my siblings now. There is one sibling that I have also been closer to but that relationship is evolving, too. The sister closest to me in age often had "issues" with a lot of acting out, drama, etc and I really had no more capacity to deal with it. Those issues have improved but that was the foundation for our relationship, and it was not a good foundation. Families develop in a multitude of ways that are dependent on all of the personalities involved. If my sisters need help, I will do what I can for them. Will I seek them out when I find myself in a crisis, no. Sometimes I think the lack of closeness is a sad thing but for the most part I am at peace with it.