I miss my brother


My brother passed away February, 2007. Today would have been his 38th birthday. My brother died suddenly of a heart attack. I too googled I miss my brother, to read anything that would help me feel better. Since my brother passed away I had two sons. It's pretty sick but I thought that would make me feel better. I wish they would have met their Uncle. He was the best person I ever met and the most I ever loved. I have become this angry person and holidays, the anniversary of his death, and his birthday are so difficult. I become totally unfocused and unproductive on those days trying to work is difficult. I have heard of the 5 grieving steps but I can't figure out where I am in the steps. I just seem miserable most of the time

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I would suggest very strong that you get grief counseling help Being that angry person is not good either for you or your family Remember the good times, start a journal, or a scrapbook with thoughts and pictures I do wish you the best for you and your family

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I know how you feel about having lost your brother. I lost mine some years ago. I read somewhere that for a sibling the feeling is a loss of how one identifies with the world. It's so hard to realize this has happened and that life will never quite be as it was. But trust in God, Karen. His love for us is more than we can comprehend. He can get you through this, and I can say that with assurance.
I'm not trying to preach to you; I'm just trying to explain what has helped me. And it is my faith in Christ which has carried me through.

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I find it therapeutic to make a lot of noise, just squall or howl or blubber, just let the "steam" escape;
I think it's like "singing the blues", which always makes us feel better.

I think, too, that we grieve for the old "us", the one that hadn't been scathed by loss & grief-

You'll never be the same person you were before, because loss & grief change us fundamentally, *but you are in many ways a new person & the changes are to be appreciated*.

Just like junior high school/boys/hormones change us from little girls to some transitional creature on the way to becoming grown-up, grief adds depth & compassion to our personalities.

Appreciate your new self & celebrate your brother by caring for his little nephews (children are gift of that change from little girl to grown-up lady);

Don't look back,look at today, & enjoy & love those little guys;
they're your brother's nephews, the next links in his chain of life.

I wish you healing & peace & joy.

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I'm sorry for your loss. I have three younger brothers and it would break my heart to lose one.

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