It can also be invasive as all get out. Watch out for seedlings of it popping up every where once it gets established. I do however think the teal blue, purple and mauve colored berries are delightful. Oh yeah, if you have japanese beetles, it draws them from miles. Take it from someone who grew it trained on a wall for several years until the seedlings started germinating all over my and both of my neighbors' yards and the japanese beetles descended on it year after year.

Yes, feeling a little low tonight as I think of my brother Michael. Taken away from us many years ago now, but still very present. He was hit by a drunken driver on his way home after work. The driver ran away immediately afterwards. Saw an old picture a couple of days ago and it only just dawned on me the impact this had on the whole family. In the picture, I felt we were a whole family that had never experienced any major grief. Life was good in our middle class lives. The person that fatally hit my brother was taken to court and we were award a small amount of money. He laughed when he was aloud to go free. He was the top tax man in the South West of Avon in the UK. Free mason and so they do take care of their own there. I knew nothing about this organisation when my father spoke of it, but being a Policeman my father and his colleagues knew who they were. My father was so disillusioned with this experience he retired early and moved to NZ where we still are. The happiness of family life never returned. My father stayed out working for most of the time and we the family felt abandoned in a new country actually living in a isolated spot with no transport. From being surrounded with family and friends from childhood security was always there. The locals seemed quite hostile to us being from the mother country, this is almost no existent now due to the number of Poms now living here. When I was older, I returned to the homeland to meet some of the Police who convinced me of the strength of Freemasons and their influence. I have been offered a couple of times here, but politely refused. Going back to the picture, the loss of my brother, the grief feels so overwhelming. I ask for prayer to help me to sleep, I will indeed pray. My brother was training to join the Household Cavalry. He was officer material the Sargent had said and we were all so proud of him. The man that killed him had gone back to the pub that night and created a cover story in case the police found him. Apologies for jumping like this, just not feeling too happy, and this feels like a good outlet. It has been a long time since anyone wrote on here, but just releasing some of the pain into cyber space just may be a good outlet for me right now. It is 1am in the morning and I must go to bed soon. The horror and grief this person has put us through. Never an apology, even by letter ;o(. Little things the number of my brothers private gun 19, his number 24499694. Memorised since the age of 12 years, I am now 46. The picture has him wearing his favourite jumper and the watch received on Christmas day - he was wearing both of these on the day he was taken from us. They obviously looked very different following this incident. My father once told me, that my brother apparently made a lot of noise - maybe not the best thing to know. We were not there for him, we were warm tucked away in our beds, whilst he suffered in agony. Can you hear my pain? My father has now passed away, my mother becoming more frail and the memories shared.............................. I miss you Michael. Thank you Ian

hi ham 36, thanks for the reply. I am curious as to whan your brother died, if you dont mind telling me? I feel abit better today, I think I am going to weed my garden and keep myself busy. As I wrtote my post late last night I forgot to mention that my brothers innapropriate behavoiur towards the nurse was totally out of character, he had the upmost respect for both women and elderly people, he was the type of person who would stand up if a women would enter the room!!!! By diong a google search a remembering a drama that I watched on TV, this behaviour is significant to brain damage, im no doctor and it took me five minutes to find out. If the hospital had given both my brother and my family the basic human rights of letting us know! we could have told the hospital this!!! I think angers is my emotion for the day. Grief really is something of a rollercoaster!! There were three Lithuanian guys involved in the incident with my brother and two have been caught, one remains in custody awaiting trial for murder and the other has been released and charged with affray. I dont think they will ever get the third man. The main thing is they caught the one who layed the what has turned out to be fatal blow. I am angry at the guy that did this to my brother, but I know that he never set out to kill him, so I actually hold more anger towwards the hospital and their inhumane behaviour, I just hope that we can stop this from happenning to anyone else in the future. The police have been really supportive to us, which is a godsend. Thankyou for your support, I would like to offer mine in return. It helps to know that no matter which way we grieve its seems to be quite normal behaviour, i think the only way is to just go with it. Thankyou bumble

Wonderous, It makes me sad that you and your brother were so close and in the end had to live apart, not to see each other for 2 years. I am much older than you and have lost a lot of people in my life, my only grandmother, aunts, uncles, my sister and my son. I feel lost without my son, and I know you must feel lost without your brother. Please understand that you will never know exactly what he was thinking when his life ended. The hows and whys will be a mystery forever unless he left you a letter detailing why it had to happen. Please do not think that you have to take the same route. You can honor your brother by becoming the best young man you possibly can. Do things in his name that would make him proud of you. Live your life for both of you and keep his name and memory alive. You are very young and have a long time to live so you have plenty of time to figure your life out and to plot where you are going from here. Just always move forward and never stay stagnant or go backwards. Stay strong and remember the good times you and your brother had when you were together. Promise yourself to finish school, become a successful man, get married, have a family and pass along your brother's memory to your children. Put your anguish of missing your brother into positive actions and you will find that you will be a much happier person. I am trying to follow these same things I am telling you as I learn to live without my son. Good luck...take care of yourself.