I miss my brother
My brother died on May 12th of this year. He had just celebrated his 33rd birthday on the 3rd of May. I phoned him to wish him a happy birthday, that was the last time I talked to him. We were suppose to go to my parent's place on the 14th for a BBQ, so I figured I'd see him then. Twice he was over visiting at my parents and I never went. I feel horrible. I should've gone to see him. I would've gotten to talk to him longer and I would've gotten to hug him again. I feel so much regret and guilt. I miss him so much. I'm having a hard time dealing with this pain in my heart. I've tried to talk to a couple of my friends, but they don't understand, some have avoided me. I've been putting on a fake smile and trying to act 'normal'. But I cry whenever I'm alone. When does it get easier, or stop hurting so much?