You and your SIL and her kids have our prayers, Vickey.

I understand you apprehension, but I think you did the right thing!!! It was a huge red flag for me the other day when you stated this! I am glad that the authorities know and it will be noted.

Good for you, Vicky. You are doing the right thing.. To bad your family can't see him in what he is doing. My husband told me years ago that people only believe what they want to believe. True words!!!!!! Some day when he really "SCREWS" up and ends up in the prison system for good maybe they wil realize the whole picture. WE are ALL responsible for our own actions!!!!!

I wish I was there to give you a big hug. You sure deserve one....

Susie

I sure hope he isn't stupid enough to be planning on something happening to her..

That's what went through my mind when I read that post.

I hope the rest of your family wakes up before it's too late.

Stand strong Vickey...

patti

I think you have done the right thing, yet again, Vickey and it takes a really strong person to stand up against family pressure.

I, too, thought the worst when I saw your brother making arrangements for the kids in case they needed guardianship. It struck me as odd that he would choose THAT to be thinking about right now, instead of a defense move or rehabilitation. Sounded more like a plan to me.

Good for you for giving the authorities the information they need to make a strong case against him.

I sure am glad you took it further. Your post raised red flags with me too. I worry that he is sitting in jail getting angrier and angrier with your SIL for placing him there and is seeking ways of revenge. Thank heavens she has your support. Your family doesn't have to know you reported it.

Keep it up.
I admire you so much for standing up to him.

I agree. Once again you have done the right thing, although it is difficult.

Your courage reminds me of Ted Kozinski's (sp?) brother. He was the Unibomber guy and his brother is the one who turned him in. I saw him interviewed (the brother) and he talked about how they didn't want to believe it but it became obvious to him and his wife that Ted was probably the bomber he bit the bullet and contacted the authorities.

Good for you, Vickey. You probably saved your SIL's life and her kids from witnessing something horrific. I'm sure it really makes her feel good that someone understands what is happening.

The right thing to do is never the easiest and while I'm sure BIL and family will blame you the truth is BIL got himself into trouble.

(Vickey)

Lori

I am hoping your DSIL knows what a treasure she has in you VIckey.
Whether she does or not, we know, and you are taking the right steps to keep her and the family safe!!

It's sad your family can't see enough to put the blame where it belongs. I'm glad he'll be there until December.
Leslie

Your previous post raised red flags with me also.

I am glad you acted upon what had been said. Though he is incarcerated, he 'could' still arrange 'things'.

She needs to make arrangements for her children in the case of her death, and 'he' needs to be aware of who would be getting his children. It might, in some way, change his sick thinking. She could still be in danger though by being harmed by some of his 'friends' who get released.

You are all in my prayers.

Sue

Glad he'll be staying in jail. It gives his wife more time to get her act together and get far away from him. It's the only way in an abuse situation. You are truly a gem. Good luck to your SIL and bless you for all you've done. Keep posting.

Good for you Vicki..as far as that *family* that you're worried about..wipe them away from *your* life...they aren't *family*

I admire you so much for standing by your SIL and doing the right thing. I'm so relieved you went to the police. I hope they can keep SIL and kids safe.

Linda

Why would your family be against telling the judge about his PLAN? If it's so good he has a leg to stand on, if not, your family has to own up to the truth. His web will be a full tangled mess when the judge finally figures out the facts. No matter how bad or good your SIL is, he had no right to use her for a punching bag. Scaring the kids, hurting their mom and acting the way he does is ALL wrong. Your family needs a backbone to tell him to act the right way. I wish Dr. Phil could get on them all.
I would hate to be in your SIL's shoes. You may have changed the course of this entire mess. I'm sorry your worried though. It hurts so much when family is involved.

Toni,
You have to realize that there are members of my family that feel #1 that my SIL is making up the extent of the abuse (they don't feel he used a knife to threaten her, he didn't choke her, the bruises were not from him) #2 She "may have" deserved some of it #3 She is as guilty as he is of abuse #4 My brother may have other issues as he "doesn't remember" much about the abuse situation #5 He is "truely sorry" about what he did and realizes "it was wrong" so everything is really all right.

In other words, he is as much of a victim as she is. This is why I am wrong---in their eyes...NOT IN MINE. My brothers could do no wrong growing up...I guess that has not changed.

Vickey-MN

Vickey-MN, my feeling is contrary to that of so many. To me, true friends are far more important than family. Sharing a gene pool means nothing if they are slimeballs. Sometimes the gene pool needs some chlorine and you're just the person to give it what it needs!

You know right from wrong and you have not only the courage to stand up, but actually HAVE stood up for what is right, even to your own detriment. I first said "possible detriment", but changed it. You have been damaged. I know how it hurts you to take sides against your family. Oh, how I know the conflicting feelings. I'm sure you've shed more than a tear and had some sleepless nights over this. I'm sure you've had an upset stomach or something too. Doubtless your blood pressure doesn't need the strife. But I also know how good you must feel knowing you're doing what's RIGHT. And that takes guts that few people have.

What really makes me respect you Vickey-MN, is that you don't just take a quick view, form an opinion and go off on it. You've agonized over it, you've considered it carefully. You've rationally reasoned out that there's other possibilities. You've weighed the evidence and made a calm and logical decision. Not a lot of people do that. Though we have never met, I feel confident that you are doing the right thing. You're following not just your mind, not just your heart but both coupled with logic.

So, hold your head high. Stand tall, be proud. You are a rare person and one of which this world sorely needs more.

Not just a hug here, but a pat on the back to ya! I know that what you're going through is not easy. But hang in there. You know you're doing the right thing. You wouldn't do it otherwise. And your friends know you're doing the right thing too!

Have a great week and don't let the stress make you forget to change your clocks!

Actually, now that I think about it... your stupid brother got himself in trouble by making those phone calls in the first place!

Vickey-MN - I agree that your have made the right choices. I come from a background very similar to yours - except my mother was also as much a problem as my father. The relatives who decided to support and be understanding of my parents' actions and of course their desire to "change" I full believe did so simply due to their guilt of doing nothing - or not even trying to do something. Of the 3 children in my family I am the only one who did not follow in my parents' footsteps and of course am considered upstart, thinking I am better than than my parents or siblings. Not true - I just chose not to live that life and it has not been easy. I did try and get my sisters' children out of the life that they also now lead, but of course all of my family members were trying to "change" - change being all about getting sympathy, money and off the hook, while it was business as usual. The authorities did realize the problem but the courts decided that while my husband and I could take the children, custody would remain with the parents and my sisters. The Children's Aid Society could not agree to this and neither could I. It is very annoying when you have first hand knowledge what it is like to live with these people as opposed to a third party who does not. The kids are now just as bad as my parents and sisters. I too would be extremely concerned about your S-I-Law's safety. My parents planned to do me in - actually told the police I deserved it - but as the police in the day said - until they actually did it, nothing they could do. I truly hope that your S-I-L and the children stay safe.

Scott Peterson was the golden child too and couldn't do any wrong in his parents eyes. Look where that mentality got His wife and son.

Stick to your guns! It's not over yet, I'm still nervous for your SIL and family.