I started to browse through this website forum since I needed to gather data on the issue of noise on condo complexes and hear what the current and/or past tenants of condos) have to say about their actual experience when living in a condo. Although I found many comments to be appropriate and suitable for the subject matter that written/posted by Vendora, I found quite a few commenters� posts simply to be offensive and inappropriate such as the one posted by Mike_Pam, chinacat_sunflower, GammyT, and so on! Just simply look and listen carefully to their tones and motives that they have written behind their comments. So, is it really true that their intent is good, pure, and positive or rather is the opposite�meaning trying to take control and show pride of themselves or their egos to others whether they realized it or not? For example, how is it that Vendora was making a poor choice in moving into the condo complex when she obviously did not foresee nor knew in advance that there would be such horrific noise issue inside her condo unit right after she moved into her condo unit as what chinacat_sunflower clearly and inaccurately stated? How is it that Mike_Pam trying to help the nature of the issue when he obviously distorted his true intention in the forum as if he was giving the right and appropriate advice to Vendora when what he said and posted on his comment clearly is an insult and mental assault not only to Vendora, but to the nature of the subject matter and to the forum as a whole? Then, the next commenter (GammyT) after Mike_Pam posted his comment even aggravated the assault to Vendora and reminding that she ought not complain about the people above her and that is nothing she could do, etc.! As you all can see and understand, these commenters obviously get the kick out in deliberately saying untrue and destructive things to people, especially to the subjects (i.e. Vendora and other similar condo tenants) who are undergoing the torments of noise issue from neighbors�to even make the nightmares to be much worse and more intense than ever before! It is one thing to give advice�meaning the right and appropriate advice; but it is another to insult, assault, and annoy others (i.e. Vendora) simply because that commenter wants to show off his or her ego and would say and do anything to put others down and make others look bad when these showoff people are the ones who needed help and needed to take a good look at themselves and to cleanse their unhealthy self-esteem and self-image once and for all! In addition, simply because a person raised an issue on certain subject matters; it never meant that this person is asking nor looking for advice nor meant that anyone could say anything and do anything to inflict unnecessary and additional pain to this person as the way some commenters had done to Vendora! This is called maturity, human respect for your fellow human beings and for yourself! Sincerely, Newlifestar

I love you guys!! Thank you so much for the sage advice and the virtual shoulders to lean on. Today I called my son and told him I was coming over to help him deep clean his house. I guess I left my cell phone at home, cuz DH had to text DS to get in touch with me. How liberating that was!! I worked really hard at DS's house, but he worked along side me and was wonderful company, so even tho I'm sore and tired, it was a good day. DS was VERY appreciative of me being there to help him and I liked doing it for him. I'm going to try to talk to DH tonight. He has a tendency to avoid conflict, and while I don't want conflict, I DO need him to hear me. DH has been self employed for years, just recently his business (more like a hobby income the last year or so) has just about come to a standstill. The things he makes are not a necessity item, so he's not bringing in the $$ like before. We can basically only count on my income...which is plenty for us to live comfortably on, but not where we can still live like we do and support another person. DH's income was for the fun stuff and extras for the most part. Rose...your DH sounds so much like mine. When my SS lived with us, it was horrible, too. He was much like yours and when he finally left our house for good, it was like a weight off my shoulders. But he almost tore us apart. My DH has always had a tendency to put his family ahead of me. For the most part, I dealt with it, but they've intruded into our life for the past couple years to the point where I can't take it any more. We've got an empty nest, and I want to enjoy it. We were both parents when we met, so we never had time alone together until the kids were grown. We were starting to have fun together when MIL became a pretty much every day fixture in our lives. She started backing off after I complained to DH, and it was ok, but now BIL is here. I'm just not sure of his situation. MIL said that his wife told her she does not want to reconcile. She wants to be friends with him, she loves him but is not in love...blahblah. He's holding on to the idea that they're going to reconcile. He goes over to her place at least once a week and stays there, but apparently stays on the sofa, and the other day he said he had to sleep on the floor because grandkids or something were there. Yesterday he told me he has an interview at a gym, I asked him about it and it's a fly-by-night outfit (he's a certified personal trainer) and he's been talking alot about how unhappy he is at his job (he works in retail and has a decent job w/bennies). This is his history, he's never worked at a job longer than 2 years, and he's just about past that time now, so he's ready to move on. DH said BIL is broke all the time, likely because he's giving his wife the $$, and that is again typical of him. So I'm not sure how the money thing will work. But frankly, it's not my problem!! The holiday thing...when my Dad was alive, he and my DH did not get along. My DH made every excuse in the book not to spend holidays at my parents, so to avoid the fight with him, and the tension if they were all together, I'd take the kids to my folks and he'd stay with his kid. It made me angry, but I chose the lesser of 2 evils. Later, we noticed a trend, DH would get pouty and start picking fights shortly before holidays. I finally figured it out, that he didn't want to spend time with my family and holidays always included them. His family was not nearby and when they were, they wouldn't come...they didn't want to celebrate. So once I figured out his M.O., I realized it wasn't ME, it was him...and I wouldn't let him get his way. He would pitch a fit and try to get out of events, but I'd make him participate. And what do you know, he always enjoyed himself! But I also learned that he;d bug out early, so I got used to it. He's very shy and not comfortable around people he's not really used to. I'm the opposite, I am gregarious and love to socialize. Well, this year, our DD who was married last year said she would like to host Thanksgiving at her house and have her in-laws and her family together. I am thrilled and am excited to do this with her, but as soon as DH found out (he read the email from DD) he said he was spending T'giving with his Mom. He is extremely uncomfortable about DD's in-laws, he only met them the first time at the rehearsal dinner, and barely spoke with them during the wedding weekend. So he's going to try everything he can to try to get out of going. I'm not going to say a word to him about it...I thought about trying to cajole him, but I'm going to let it be up to my kids to make him understand how disappointed they'll be if he doesn't spend time with them because he's shy and being a baby. But now, with BIL here, or at least in the proximity, he'll find every excuse, and likely his mother will want her boys over to her house. Anyway, it's just drama that I do not want to contend with, and honestly, I thought it was all over with...that DH had moved on, because every year I host a big Christmas party with lots of people and he enjoys it. It's almost like he's taken 3 giant steps back now that his brother is here every day. So the more I think about it, the more I think I need to get DH alone...sit him down and lay it out. I've already made up my mind that I WILL leave him if his mother ever has to come live with us!

I hope that your eye issue turns out to be benign, Kat. I'll offer some prayers that such be the case ... and that the other issues turn out well. As for the grammar ... I'd often like to correct people, here, but usually forebear. As for that "dam" of yours, Gemini ... it's holding back a flood of ... frustration? ... at the bad grammer (or, is that "grammar"?)? ole joyful

Well, I am obviously the only one in the entire mid-Atlantic annoyed by this. :) That's okay, I will just chronicle here and wait for response. I have not been watering my grass and there is now just swaths of dust interspersed with wilting wild violet leaves. That's right, the things that won't die (wild violets) are showing quite the stress. I watered my flower garden twice this weekend after not watering all week long and just today lugged the super long hose out to water the fence garden. Each plant got watered 3x as it had been a while. Everything is still hanging in there although the Shasta daisies were starting to look a bit thin in the leaves but not yet wilted. The forecast has rain all week. I'm hoping that is true. In fact, I watered in the hopes the the rain, such as it might be, could be absorbed by already damp soil. Now that I think of it, maybe I should have pulled out the sprinkler for the lawn. But, last time it was supposed to rain all week, it rained one day and it was a gentle shower. See my rant above for my take on that. Fingers crossed as I am worried about the trees.