I didn't hear about this. Makes me so angry when parents snuff out the lives of their children just because they have problems. They had their chance yet they deny it to their children. My friend's sister became a widow at a young age when her husband blew his brains out in their house. It was she who had to clean his brains off the walls. I remember her saying how angry she was, the way he did it was a form of betrayal/punishment. To kill oneself is bad enough but to do it in a way that inflicts extra trauma on family members is selfish and cruel. She's scarred for life partly because of the gruesome sight she had to witness. And he wanted her to see it. Sick, sick, sick.

I need some serious advice, and all of you seem like very good people with sincere approaches to coping. My brother took his life eleven months ago today. I so dread the one-year anniversary. This was not his first attempt, but was the only time he tried that he really meant it. The other times clearly were a call for attention. This time, there was absolutely no stopping him. I'll spare you details and get onto my two issues. First, I have been paralyzed from having any relationship with my sister-in-law since my brother's passing. I know I need to reach out to her, but I simply cannot. About three weeks after Chad's passing, my sister-in-law called to ask me a favor, which I quickly performed. During the conversation, though, she digressed into telling me about the last conversation that my brother had with Mom and Dad. It was very clear that my sister-in-law blames my Mom and Dad and my brother's upbringing. This caused two problems for me. First, it really made me question who I am ... if Chad and I shared the same upbringing and Chad took his life, what does that mean for me? Second, we all have to have our own "reality" about why Chad passed in the way that he did, but my reality cannot be to blame my Mom and Dad in any way whatsoever. In fact, my relationship with my parents is stronger than it ever was before. The day that my sister-in-law and I had this conversation was absolutely the most difficult day of coping that I have had. I was literally in the car on the way to work when she called, and I had to pull over, get out of the car, pace and cry while we talked and for a long while thereafter. I could not make it into work for two days following. Hence, I have not been able to make myself call her in months. At forced family gatherings, there is a tension but we're cordial. But, we have no relationship. I hate that, but I'm so apprehensive too. My dad is begging me to call my sister-in-law, and I cannot tell him that I can't call her b/c she blames him and Mom. I've written eight letters to her in an attempt to explain why it is so difficult for me, but I haven't had the courage to mail any of them yet. My second issue is that a couple of months before Chad's passing, he announced to the family how proud he was of himself for quitting smoking. He said it was all because of the anti-smoking pill Chantix. Now, I've learned that the FDA has linked Chantix to suicide. I've carried a ton of anger since Chad's passing and now I'm mad at hell at the pharma company. To make Chad a class rep in a class action against the pharma company may give me an outlet for my anger and grief, but I don't want to be the selfish little sister that drudges the rest of the family through even more pain. Of course, my sister-in-law would have to be on board and that would require my talking it over with her. I'm an attorney by the way.

No good deed goes unpunished, I guess. I wasn't aware of this thread or godldust's 911 suggestion when I saw the supposed suicide note this a.m. I was hoping to see if the Sears interview from the resume post had any feedback when I was alarmed to read the post from this morning. Being concerned, I tracked the #s from the resume post and informed the daughter of Brenda who assured me both Paul and Brenda were fine. When I went back to the suicide post I read godldust's 911 plea and hoped to stop a panic. golddust was lovely. as one would expect, although I did not identify meyself as working for GW, just a poster. For my concern, I have received several call backs from the family, the last threatening me with the cops for aiding and abetting if I didn't provide them with more info. Since this is all on line, I told them how to read both of "Paul's" posts, but I resent being harassed for trying to stop what might have been a murder/suicide. Since the threat seemed real, I hope I did the right thing. But, and this is a big problem, since thiere are so many crazies out there in cyberspace, I'll hesitate to try to help again. Sorry I contributed to the confusion by falling for a hoax. You may remember I'm the one who researched the Mr.Willie painting and suggested that may have been a different type of hoax, so I'm not usually gullible. The one problem I still have with unravelling this is if Paul is in his 80s it's unlikely he'd have a resume on line. Nevertheless, I hope everyone remains healthy and that the original resume guy finds work soon.

So sorry to hear about your friend. DH is currently hospitalized for a severe clinical depression.One of the reasons I decided to get him in to the hospital was that he was talking of hopelessness,and that he couldn't see any way out of it.This sent alarms off in my mind.Dr's had allready experimented with a couple of anti depressants that wern't working for himHe was fortunate that I noticed and reconized the symptons right away.Since his depression started in June,I had read everything I could find which I'm sure helped me a great deal in making the decision.He did admit to the Dr that thoughts of suicide had crossed his mind,so it was a huge relief for me to have him in a safe place where he was being helped and monitered 24/7. Some people either don't have the support of family,or are able to hide their despair so well that the family isn't aware of how desperate they are. I've had two close friends who have recently lost a close family member to suicide,so I see the pain it leaves the family with first hand. I would imagine it's a feeling of total hopelessness that in the end drives them to commit this final act. DH is making progress ever so slowly,but at least for now I know he's safe. Hugs..Granlan.....