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Tree is up

18 years ago

Hello to all. Is it just me or is time tricky to all of us? My husband died 3 months ago and in some ways it seems he's only been gone for a few weeks and in other ways it feels like forever. Christmas has always been a really big deal in our family, like many of you, and this year we all realize it won't be the same. I had decided that I would put up just a tree, simply decorated, maybe my lighted church and nothing more. I didn't plan to do it until the week of Christmas because I didn't want to sit and stare at it every night. But then I started thinking that with my Mom's health this could be her last Christmas and it's my 6 month old grandson's first Christmas. And then I remember how Bob died suddenly and it made me realize that none of us know when it's our time. I asked myself if I knew this was my last Christmas how would I want to spend it. Then I decided to spend it that way. It's hard to believe that after all I've lost I could still take for granted that I'll have next Christmas to get back in the swing of things. Sometimes I think I need my head examined! So, last night my son helped me get the tree out and set it up. I started decorating it and will finish tonight. And, yeah, it's hard but it's worth it. Because if next Christmas doesn't find me on this earth my family will have the memories of our last Christmas with the tree and the decorations and the love - and, of course, we will still be missing Bob but we'll light a candle for him and we'll send our love to him. And if next Christmas does happen to find me still around we'll just do it all over again. I just pray that I keep this strength so I can do this for the people who have done so much for me. Merry Christmas to you all!

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