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A Welcom to Newcomers

21 years ago

All too often someone new shows up here with a burden of grief.

If you feel like sharing your story, we'll be happy to listen.

Grief comes in many forms. Our members have experienced a range of losses.

We're here to give encouragement and reassurance that you're not alone.

Nell

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Comments (6)

des_arc_ya_ya
21 years ago
Sweet (and true!) post, Nell. Glad you thought to post this. Thank you.
Bowdoin
21 years ago
Nice greeting Nell! It's really too bad when someone has come along and is now a "member" of this group. But what a nice way to ease them into the road to healing. You were very right, when you said our grief comes in many forms. Thanks! :-)
Emma in PA
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Comments (31)
I also just want to call out a thanks to the hard work WC8 has put into this - I think sweetcicely put it really nicely. Cj - that's a really good point. I really do try, but I sometimes forget to append "I think that..." or "From my limited experience..." to the beginnings of my post, which I think is important in ensuring that the reader knows that any advice being given is a guess or at least from limited experience. Even if it's neither these two things, anyone not growing in my conditions should take any information I give with a grain of salt, and so that little "I'm not sure, but this is what I think" really serves as a nice reminder to the reader. Sometimes I see it as a liability waiver! Re the nature of people visiting the forum - with the invention of the internet, people tend to 'ask' more than research. It's gone from going to the library to checking out a book, to going to google and searching for a key word, to just posting questions on forums and waiting for answers. I think the welcome draft is fantastically detailed and has so much great advice and information, but as others have said, may not be efficient, keeping in mind the mentality of the people who come here asking for questions. Is it possible to have a single line at the top of the page in a very prominent place saying: "Thanks for visiting the forum! If you have some time before posting your question, please READ THIS" and link to the page you've drafted? That way people who do click on the link will expect to be presented with something they need to read - if they do read all of it, they'll be that much wiser and if they don't, then there's no hurt feelings since it's not the first thing that jumps into their face when they visit the site, so it's less....foreboding.
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I was so surprised to see this thread today as I was creating an introductory post in my mind on my way home from work today. I realized that I jumped in a while back with a lot of hummingbird information without ever offering any introduction and figured it might be appropriate. I'm Steve and live in Valrico (about 20 miles east of Tampa - east of Brandon) with my wife and 9 year old son. We're down to 3 cats, all indoors. Rowdy was my cat for 21 years before she passed away a couple of years ago, blind and with high blood pressure. I'm more of a grower than a gardener. Most of what I grow is to supplement mother nature. I plant what the critters need, mainly birds and butterflies. We've planned the initial layout of the flowerbeds but in the end, things grow where they want to. My growing started out on an apartment balcony because I wanted to attract hummingbirds. We bought our home in 2000 and gradually began creating a home for hummingbirds. In 2005, I created a webpage showing before and after photos of my yard. It's at: http://rowdy13.tripod.com/hummeryard.html The photos aren't the best but you get the idea of what went into my yard. I was recently asked about flowerbeds and my response was that I see the whole yard as my flowerbed. This photo was taken earlier this year. Early on, I killed many a fuchsia and columbine trying to force my favorite northern plants to grow here but finally decided to reduce my stress and just let grow what wants to grow with as little effort as possible. Steve Backes Valrico, FL
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OK guys and gals! I want to try my hand at crossing two different hydrangeas to see what I could come up with, but I have no idea how to do it. Can anyone tell me the steps, or is there a place on Garden Web that teaches us how? I know that there must be a way, for there are new varieties coming up it seems each year or so. I am particularly fond of Lace hydrangeas and one plant that looks like the bloom looks like petals falling around the head of the flower. Thank you for any help. Donna1952_1@Juno.com - So. King County, WA
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Is the plant swap still on for tomorrow? The weather forecast doesn't look too promising. I attended the swap last June, and really enjoyed it. Here is a list of some of the plants I will be bringing. Please feel free to make suggestions or requests. *Yellow raspberries ("Fall Gold" I think--two crops per year) *hostas (both solid green and variegated--white and green) *Jack-in-the pulpit--I have a lot of these *spirea (pink) I have a lot of these as well *a few pachysandra *lupine (mostly blue/purple) *echinacea (mostly pink, but some white as well) *columbine (white) *artensis? (small green & yellow variegated plant) *mint? (very invasive) *chives? (you can't kill them) *forsythia *a small sedum with a yellow flower *bamboo (green, running, but only if someone wants it) *bleeding heart (tall variety) *siberian irises *strawberries (could be June-bearing, or everbearing) *mums (not sure about color) *large ferns *Soloman seal *Globe thistle *I have a lot of a plant that might be butterfly bush, but it might be a weed as well. I can bring a few of these. I hope the weather holds out. I hope to see everyone again. Peter (coming from Milford, MA)
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alisande
21 years ago
You know, a welcome like this should stay at the top of the screen, at least for a while. Responding to it moves the thread down into oblivion. That's what happened when I posted a similar one some time ago. Maybe you should try again, Nell? :-)

Susan
jan1uk
21 years ago
I posted for the 1st time about 10 days ago, even though I had been reading the messages and finding some comfort from them. Today has been really hard for me, as it was the final day for clearing out the flat my parents had lived in for 17 yrs. I was ok sorting out the things, and boxing them up, but to see the flat empty was really heart breaking. But its all done and sorted now and that was real worring in itself wondering if I would get it done in time. My parents were wonderful people, my mother even paid for her and my dads funeral in 2000 so I wouldn't have the burden of sorting it out. They both left this world not owing anybody a penny, which in this day and age doesn't happen very often... To my 2 beautiful parents I love you both so much and miss you terribily XXXXXXX
Nell Jean
Original Author
21 years ago
Bless your heart, Jan. You've had a hard week.

I posted another message that maybe will hang up there for a while. When it slides down, Susan, we'll make a new one. Thanks. Last night I wandered in here and thought of how much I thought your original message added to the forum's effectiveness.

I'm always encouraged by how many come with such a fresh, severe grief and soon they're able to comfort another.
It has to be part of the healing process, to share. It doesn't diminish our own grief, but it gives us reassurance.

Nell
socks
21 years ago
Nell...you are the best! You always know just what to say. Thanks.

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