Yes, I am laughing...and crying. Crying because so many of you were there for me..and laughing because so many of you have such pristine, wonderful, stress free lives, that you can't imagine what I must be going through. I really did go through these things with my MIL. At long last, I realized that it was just as much my husband's fault as it was hers, and I have recently kicked them both out of my life. Just one thing...to the lady who questioned my abilities to raise children, and to please not have anymore... HOW DARE YOU!! I am college educated, and make more money then my husband does. I would have never had children unless I was willing and able to raise them alone, should he ever die or we go our own ways. Is it THAT unreal to you that I could be this responsible? Lady, I plan to have more children one day, married or not. If I have the finances, I have the love, and I have the heart for it, I will have 15 more, if that is what I am so inclined to do. And to all you people who do not believe me....well, you have that American right. There are thousand's of soldiers in a war right now preserving your right to not believe me...so God Bless you all. Jennifer

Hi Mary, I went over to Kitchen Table and read your posts. I'm sorry about the loss of your dear husband, now there is a gap where a person used to be and that is always such a challenge to overcome. Someone once told me that they felt that they were cut in two when they lost their spouse. I cannot even begin to imagine. I read a USA Today report that showed some research done by the University of Michigan that mentioned that a bereaved spouse needs at leas 18 months to recover physically and psychologically. Although you may not thing so at present Mary, each day will get better as time goes on. Also, don't be afraid to let your tears flow. Psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers, herself a widow, likens tears to emotional first aid. Crying is a normal part of your grieving process. You said in one of your posts in the KT forum that you have received many cards of condolence, have you written them back? Why not take some time and put in writing all the good things that you remember about your husband and the moments you shared and thank those who have reached out to you. Make an album with photographs, love letters, and notes of the good times you spent with your loved one. This will be painful at first but in the long run it will help you to heal. I can relate to what you said that some don't say anything because they don't know what to say and I can say that I have done that once. I wish I could go back and change that. But I'm here now trying to help others through their grief by using the Bible. For me, there is no better hope since I know for a fact that the promises we find in the Bible of seeing our loved ones when they are resurrected will be fulfilled. Reading on the resurrection accounts found in the Bible and meditating on them, visualizing the events makes them more real to me. "Time indefinite He has put their heart", the Bible tells us about God (Ecclesiastes 3:11) And He will use the resurrection to make everlasting life possible for people who have died. Psalms 37:11 says, "but the meek ones themselves will possess the earth, and they will indeed find their exquisite delight in the abundance of peace." Life in this earth under God's Kingdom rule will not be like what we are experiencing now, full of war, crime poverty, injustice, illness, and death. It will be a fulfilling and satisfying life beyond our fondest dreams. Learning more about what God's Kingdom is, the Kingdom that we all pray for in the Lord's Prayer: "Let your Kingdom come.."(Matthew 6:9, 10), will give us a more clear picture of these future promises that seem so unattainable to us now. We just need to be focused. Mary, hang in there, these hard times will soon be a part of the past. We all have suffered a loss of a loved one and we all here can somewhat understand what you are feeling. We hope to hear back from you soon. Warm hugs, Ada

I lost my husband Oct. 2009 after 30 years of marriage. The lost feels even greater 16 months "down the road." I have lots of friends and family - I'm getting ready to reopen my business - I exercise and dance daily - but I miss him. He was my partner - it's like an addiction only "you don't get to fall off the wagon again" - you just feel the pain of the withdrawals of that love, companionship, touch... My world has changed. I just try to remind myself that I was so lucky to have had someone in my life that loved me that I loved that kept me company for so long. There are people that never experience that kind of companionship. I could probably just sit and cry for hours and I have but I try not to. It really doesn't help. But staying active - trying to discover if there are other things in life that I may be passionate about - for me one is trying to stay fit - has helped me. I use to always dress like such a bum - because we would be working around the house or in the garden - but now I make myself put on lipstick or nice pants and a top - to go to the mailbox or grocery store. I'm not looking for someone else to fill that void. But I am trying to make myself smile. My husband use to tell all the single girls that they needed to find a husband soon or to be sure to wear sunscreen... he would say no man is ever going to be attracted to a woman with a nose that has rotted off... He was so funny - I miss that humor - and him most of all - but I'm taking his advice for what it is worth and I am wearing sunscreen. Thanks sweetheart. You are forever in my heart.

Oh my goodness, it just doesn't seem fair for one person to suffer so much loss in such a short period of time. My heart aches for you. Please know that one day you will be through the grieving and crying, but it does take time. I think it's important to cry all you want, because eventually you will be through the crying. Do you have a good relationship with your son? He probably does not feel as much grief as you do about your parents, but surely he is feeling the loss of his father. Try to establish communication with him, sharing your feelings and letting him share his. Is there a chance that you two could do something together like a day trip to the beach or even an overnight trip. I think it helps to get away a bit, and when you come back you are still facing all the reminders of your losses, but you've had a chance to "catch your breath" so to speak. Also, see if you and your son can plant a tree, go to Dad's favorite restaurant, put together an album, make a donation to a leukemia foundation. Try to do something together to help in the healing. But it will take time. Of course, there is always grief counseling and group sessions which you can seek out. Your loved ones now gone from you would not want you to stay in bed. I think a certain amount of that is helpful, but soon you have to put your feet on the floor and move on. I'm so very sorry for all your losses. Take care. Susan