It's sitting on my kitchen table! I played a bit yesterday & hurt my stupid left arm trying to do a bellow shake. Now, I can't lift it to put it back on it's stand. It's very frustrating in a good way. The music is still in my head & under my fingers. I've been unable to beg and/or bargain with the lupus to leave me alone for just a couple hours so I can play. Just about the time my fingers start to communicate with my brain (I'm playing from muscle memory)...something starts to hurt too bad to continue. Restoring Dad's accordion was absolutely worth every penny. My muscle memory has allowed me to get through a rather rousing 'Sharpshooters' but that's about all, at least so far. 'Sharpshooters' is an accordion classic dating to the early 20th century. It was 'Baby Face' that did in my left arm..."Baby face, baby face, you've got that cutest little baby face....." Thanks so much for asking! /tricia

You all have had so much grief of your own. Thank you for taking the time to hear about mine. Right now, I'm feeling numb and overwhelmed. I'm worried about my mom. She doesn't want to go one without him. She actually is taking the focus on everything that happened at the hospital. She has no idea and I don't want her to. We all are just pretending for her sake. I understand that my sister wanted her grown children and their spouses to see dad before he worsened, but they ignored his requests, and he is the patient. I just don't get that. I let my son see him after we knew we were losing him, of course that made them angry, but at that point he didn't care so I wasn't ignoring his requests. But so many things were said to hurt me. No our relationship wasn't strong and open before my dad became ill. We all have gone our separate ways. My mom and dad were the hub that kept us all together. When my mom is gone one day, I doubt that we will ever see each other. I long for a relationship with my siblings, but I am so tired of being hurt. It's gotten to the point that I think life is too short to spend it on people that hurt me and fall short of my few expectations. I think they resent me for moving 16 hours away for 5 years, now I am just 4 hours away. In fact, my brother made reference to my not being there at the hospital, although I dropped everything to put my mom and dad first. It also seems that being the youngest, my family would love it if I was naive and weak, instead of intelligent and independent, as well as very close to my parents. My sister (oldest) has hurt my parents many times with her impulsive mouth and calls later crying and apologizing. I just can't deal with it and I don't want to. It seems like we will just go on having this polite sterile conversation for my mom's sake. It's all sad and it's getting in the way of my grieving for my sweet dad. Thank you all for your words of wisdom. I am so new at this kind of grieving. There are so many layers and so many things to grieve about. The worst is how my sweet daddy suffered. I never expected him to ever suffer like that and I want to forget it. And I want to forgive myself for not doing more, and I can't seem to get past it.

I have loved reading all the posts and gives me comfort that there are a lot of people who are experiencing the same thing as me. I too miss both my parents, still. My mom died 9 years ago from ovarian cancer and my Dad died 6 years ago after a long battle with renal failure and being on dialysis as a result. I cared for both my parents for years while they were ill. We had always been close and saw each other almost every day of my life. The last few years we all lived together while I was working full time, married and raising two boys. I was so busy with everything that I did not have time to stop and think about what was going to happen when they were gone. I miss them terribly every day and wish I would have just stopped and talked for hours on end to them while they were ill instead of doing the laundry, cleaning the house or grocery shopping or cooking. I am thankful I was able to provide them a safe home to live in and never had to place either one in a nursing home. Both boys are now grown and away from home, my husband works out of town a lot and recently my Uncle (my Mom's brother) has moved in with us after having several mini strokes and can no longer live alone. This has brought back the memories of caring for my Mom and Dad and makes me miss them more and more. I still work full time and this was a huge adjustment as my husband & I were just getting used to being empty nesters and had begun taking trips. We have adjusted accordingly and I am thankful once again that I am able to give my Uncle the care he needs without going to a nursing home. Grief can only be dealt on a day to day basis. Sometimes I can handle it and sometimes I just need a good cry. I think about all the great times we had and that makes me happy, but then the grief creeps back in because I can no longer talk to, smile at, laugh with, cry with or hug my parents ever again. My only comfort is knowing I will see them again one day in Heaven and that is what keeps me going day to day.

This is one of the most disturbing posts I've ever read here - in fact, it's been haunting me since it first appeared. I don't know which is worse -- the idea that you molested your wife's sister, or the idea that you didn't and she claims you did. Either way, it's a horrible, awful mess. For what it's worth, I find it very hard to believe that a young woman who behaves anywhere near appropriately would have been molested by 2 of her 3 brothers-in-law... Of course, there's no way to prove either side of the story, since there wouldn't have been any witnesses. So it all boils down to a question of character, history and reputation. If your character is above reproach, your story should be believed (though perhaps quietly, since it's likely D is emotional, dramatic and vocal) and this should all blow over in a few months. If your character hasn't always been above reproach, let this situation serve as a warning that you need to monitor your behavior a little more carefully, and that in the future, you should not to let D get within 10 feet of you. Without knowing any of the parties involved, I would have a tendency to believe that there was some truth to each side, with exaggerations and distortions likely on both sides.