Horrible images of my bellowed brother

BigSister17

Three weeks ago I lost my beloved kid brother to a short and horrible illness. I spend last few months, together with his immediate family, caring for him, which means seeing him extremely thin, week, fragile. Nowadays one of my biggest problems are images of him, or his 'ill persona', as evil and violent. The first time it happened was several days before his passing away; for a few milliseconds I had a horrible idea he was about to attack me. Realistically, we loved each other dearly, he was never violent and at that time almost incapable to move. We are both middle-aged.
Those images intensify as the time from his death passes. Somehow it is as I imagine the illness has 'taken over' his body, and with it, he became angry and violent.
I don't want to imagine my dearest brother like this. I don't know whether some stupid movies are responsible for those images. Could someone help me?

SaveComment7Like
Comments (7)
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
sylviatexas1

I'm so sorry you lost your dear brother.

I once read that all the people in our dreams are really different parts of ourselves.

The terrifying images don't really represent your brother;
they represent the horror you feel for what the disease did to him, the horror you feel for his death.

I'd bet that you're having these dreams at least partly because of stress, exhaustion, & grief, all of which deplete our reserves, sap our strength, and lower our resistance to disease & to such things as these dreams.

It takes time & care (lower the stress, eat right, walk, get out & interact with people, don't drink, etc) to heal.

You might try a calming drink such as herb tea, or ask your doctor for a very mild calmative to take before bedtime, & if you have a trusted person such as a pastor that you can talk to, do that as well.

Your beloved brother is at peace;
you're the one who needs to recover.

Take care of yourself.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
BigSister17

Thank you Sylvia! Your answer gave me a new perspective to the issue. To clarify the thing, those images are not from my dreams, they come at a speed of light to me during the day time.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
sylviatexas1

You're welcome.

daytime images are very much like dreams, like panic attacks.

Take care.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
sylviatexas1

I was reading about post-trauatic stress disorder (ptsd), & it sounds like you have a lot of the indicators.

Your daytime terrors, for example, sound a lot like the flashbacks experienced by combat veterans.

You might google it & talk to your doctor about it.

& if your doctor pooh-poohs your concerns, talk to a different doctor.

edited to add the flashback example

This post was edited by sylviatexas on Fri, Oct 10, 14 at 9:55

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
BigSister17

Thanks again Sylvia. I spoke to my family doc today and explained it, she told me to see the therapist. So I guess she took it seriously. I will have more news in a few weeks.
In any case, writing it down and getting your comments really helped.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
BigSister17

Update: I saw the therapist twice already, it's not Earth-shattering but I feel better altogether. Thanks again Sylvia - your kind comments helped me when there was no other help on the horizon. All the best!

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
sylviatexas1

I'm glad you posted an update;
so happy to hear you're doing well!

Save    
Browse Gardening and Landscaping Stories on Houzz See all Stories
Homes Around the World Houzz Tour: See the Amazing Transformation of This 18th-Century Home
Dramatic ‘before and after’ photos of a beautiful Georgian home in London tell the tale of an abandoned hospital restored to glory
Full Story
Bathroom Design A Designer Shares Her Master-Bathroom Wish List
She's planning her own renovation and daydreaming about what to include. What amenities are must-haves in your remodel or new build?
Full Story
Pets Houzz Call: Send in the Design Cats
Post your best photo of your cat at home, in the garden or with you in your studio. It could be published in a featured ideabook
Full Story