Isn't it a shame that many of us, myself included, will selflessly end a suffering pet's life peaceably, held tightly in our loving arms but we feel ashamed to wish someone who is suffering horribly to pass away peacefully while they sleep? Sometimes I think when people try to get someone ... or something in the case of pets ... to hang on despite all their pain, they are doing it more for themselves than for the one suffering. I don't think you should feel guilty at all. To me it is selfless to hope for a quick end to someone else's pain and suffering by God's gentle hand. I am so sorry to hear that he suffered so but it is wonderful to know that he was so loved and admired by his family. You, your husband and the rest of the family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Big hugs, Kathy

I cried reading everyone's responses. There is nothing like loosing your mother. I lost my mother on Feb 20th of this year and it was sudden but not unexpected as we knew were living on borrowed time, she suffered from COPD and congestive heart failure. We should have lost her in 2004 but she stayed with us till she had no reserve left, that is what the doc's call it when your lungs no longer have the capacity to store more oxygen. There is one thing I have learned that I would like to pass on and that is not to play the "what if" game with yourself. We can do that all day if we want but the end result is guilt because we create a scenario as we "Think" things may have turned out or may have been and no one knows or has a crystal ball to look back in time and say "yep had I done this or that things would have been better" Our mother's as stated in an earlier post really do not want their children to see them die. They are always thinking of us and I am sure they are thinking "I need to spare them this pain" and I have to say this. I was lucky enough to be with my mom when she took her last breath but that is an image I will never get out of my head. My mother's body once full of life, all of a sudden she was gone, it was the hardest thing I ever had to go through, to watch someone die in front of you is not something I ever want to see again, and yet, I am grateful I was able to be with her when she did pass. it sounds twisted I know, but it was just so truly sad to see her there one minute and then gone the next. Even though I spent 12 hours a day with her for 7 days before she died, I find myself thinking "I should have said or done more" but truly what else could I have said, or done. I sat next to her and held her hand, washed her face, stroked her head and face, massaged her arms and held her hand, kissed her face, made her laugh, shared moments with her, comforted her and gave her ice chips to suck on. I even bought her her favorite flower, a red rose. She smelled it, I brushed it against her cheek, she loved it. And all I did, I would catch myself and say, "if only I did more or said more" but I did not need to, and I remind myself of that all the time because that "What if" thought always pops into my head. Mother's know how much we love them, they see it in our eyes and we see how much they love us in their eyes. The sweetest thing my mother gave me was the look. She and I while I was drawing pictures of she and I when I was a little girl holding her hand, she looked at me and for 6 seconds we just stared at each other and I saw the most amazing amount of love she had for me, and we did not say a word but we smiled and cried and she said "I love you" and I know I will never experience anyone looking at me the way she did. Playing the "what if" game will just make you go nuts, I am sure our mother's knew how much we loved them, they could feel us even when we were not with them, and I am positive they did not want us to see them die, God controls everything for his own purpose and reasoning. And no matter what we may have felt we did wrong, or did not do enough of before our mother's passed, I for sure can say this, as they are in the presence of the Lord, all earthly things are passed and they are not thinking about what we did or did not do and they are for sure not judging us. There is one big party in heaven, a celebration for each child who comes home to be with the Lord, as the Lord knows our hearts, I am sure our mother's knew our hearts and knew we loved them. We are only human, not perfect, and we did the best we could and our mother's loved and love us no matter what. If you think they died alone I can honestly say that I truly believe when someone dies they are never alone, an angle is there to take them to heaven and my mom kept looking around the room before she passed as she said she heard strange sounds and wanted to know where they were coming from and she was so peaceful. I believe she heard the trumpet sounds being made for her entry into heaven. The bible says when we die, those who know the Lord are in his presence and all worries and pain and sadness are no longer. I hope this provides some comfort, just don't beat yourselves up about what you could have done or said. Our mother's know how much we loved them and all we wanted to say and do. God bless

ok renaruto this may be a case in which you provided way too much info and details about your ex wife to your new girlfriend and now she is using that against you which imo is immature and only shows how insecure she really is, i only say that because this exact situation has happened to me before only thing different is that my son is 5 yo and is unable to keep a cell phone....women can be very good at hiding their true feelings about certain issues to get you to open up to them and disclose unnecessary information and due to their own insecurities will make you the bad guy when all you were doing from the get go is being totally honest ...i do believe that sometimes theres such a thing as being too honest...did you really have to tell your new gf that your ex wife still wants you?... by saying that you set your self up for constant drama and nagging everytime she contacts you whether it is important or not...any way the answer to your problem lies in your heart i made my decision to make my son a priority and had to break up with my previous gf the good thing was that i am now with a woman who understands and supports my decision to be a good father and doesnt question the communication between me and my sons mother it is truly a beautiful feeling to not feel like you have to choose sides between the ones you love if she really loves and respects you she will trust you and leave it all up to you to set boundaries with your ex wife without having to butt in...hope this advice is not too late

Custody and access are two seperate things. BD has always had joint custody. It's called joint conservators. He has not always had access. He had supervised access. Joint conservatorship basically means we both have exclusive rights and duties to the child. I have two exclusive rights he does not have. The right to designate residence and the right to make educational decisions. We both have the right to seek medical treatment, provide shelter, food and clothing; the right to inform the other conservator of any info concerning health, welfare and education. We both have the right to religious guidance. He has a duty I do not have and that is to provide child support payments in X amount per month. As far as access it's about 60/40 now. It's called expanded standard possession. He has set weekends and days of the week, we split spring break, christmas and thanksgiving. He has superior rights to designate his access during the summer. My access is all other times not outlined as his possession time. Sole custody is extremely hard to get. Even with all of the mess we have been through, bd has always been a joint conservator he just had limited Access for a while. If I had sole custody I would not have to tell him anything about health, school etc. He would not be able to confer with the school. Even with limited access he still had a right to speak to teachers or to get medical records. With expanded standard possession during the school year, on a month with 30 days, Bd has 12 days, I have 18 days. During the summer he averages about 40 total days and I average about 46 give or take a few during a summer break of about 88 days. That almost 50:50 during the summer. Does that make sense?