6 month mark of my dad's passing

18 years ago

Today marks 6 months since my dad has passed away. I can't even explain my feelings about it all - sometimes its bearable (because it HAS to be bearable, I have no choice to not accept it), but other times it seems so frustrating. I can't even explain my feelings because I have a hard time even interpreting my feelings myself. My dad was extremely sick before passing away - 6 heart attacks, permanent kidney failure, both legs amputated, diabetic (type 1), and more. These things only happened within the past 2-3 years. These sicknesses only begin to list the problems my father faced, so this is what makes is bearable to know that he is in a better place and not facing these problems. Still, it all seems so "factual" and it seems just like my feelings are lost about it. Like, "this is what happened, so i have to believe it." i can't describe how i dont have my feelings associated with it - of course i am VERY emotional about it all, but when i talk about what happened, it seems like i talk about it in a matter of fact way and i can't get away from it. i can't stand to think about it either, because i can't stand to realize that i won't see my dad EVER again. EVER. forever is a long time, especially when you are in the begining of your life (young 20's). there is so much i want to talk to him about and i just want to "feel" that he is where he is.....wherever he is. I'm just utterly confused about everything and it's so hard to think about situations and work, when I'm trying to think about my dad and make this 6 month mark real......making it real is the hardest thing for me, it just seems not real?????

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Comments (3)

heydeborah
18 years ago
dear IMiss

I have just passed the six month mark too my husband passed away on Feb. 22. MY Al was bedridden at home (i promised him that i would not put him in long term care). he was a diabetic and i gave him insulin 4 times a day, he was also a double oabove the knee amputee, and had all the same things that your dad had too. our "children" daughter 19 and sone 24 are about your age. my daughter has not gotten out of the car to see her dad's monument (as they call it here), our son however is on is way to a break down. i think for us it was the monument going up the friday before father's day, it made it seem so final. but for us too unbelievable, he should be here watching his daughter start school and to share in the scholarships and bursies she received and our son's sports games, our son phoned and asked to speak to dad to tell him how is baseball game went and that he pitched the game. i know what you are going through and so do all the rest of the great folks here, my husband always made it a point to help someone he didn't know, like give them a grocery cart and not take a quarter for it, put money in a parking meter that expired, we have followed this and know that he would be proud, did your dad do something that you could continue doing. as a told a friend of mine this being a widow just sucks!

thinking of you!

debbie
kclv
18 years ago
Hey,imissmydad, I understand what you are going through.
My dad died in April, the six month anniversary of his death is coincidentally my son's birthday.

I recently had my first birthday without him, getting a card with just my mom's signature on it and not getting my "happy birthday" phone call was difficult.

Unlike your dad, mine went fairly quickly. He was diagnosed with cancer, and lasted just 4 months. We barely had time to get used to the idea and he was gone.

Although I miss him very much, I take comfort in the fact that I think he is watching out for me and my family. Since he died, we have had a string of bad luck that just doesn't sem to quit.

My husband had an emergency appendectomy 2 days after my dad passed. The appendix had a small rupture, and the surgeon told him that if he had waited 12 hours more, it would have been too late. He and my kids were unable to attend the funeral (it was 2000 miles away), but he made a full recovery.

Three weeks ago I badly fractured my toe, and needed surgery. Two weeks ago my son was injured in a hockey game and needed stitches (not serious but scary).

And just when we thought things were calming down, on Sunday my husband totalled my car when he tried to avoid some debris on the road. He walked away from the wreck and it was a miracle that he survived. I have to believe that my dad was working overtime keeping us safe.

I can just see him up there saying that he can't even get some peace and quiet when he is dead.

The first year is the hardest. While you will always miss him, it will get more bearable, and you are definitely not alone.
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joannegreco
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Big hugs to you. Today is 11 weeks that my mom passed and it's very hard sometimes to even just type that. Keep posting here because we all understand what you're going through...we going through it also.

6 month mark of my dad's passing

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heydeborah

kclv

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