Jannie, let me add my voice of concern too. You are not physically able to continue with this situation as it now exists. You've got to have the time to completely heal and get your strength back. In addition, you must live in a clean and sanitary environment in order to avoid infection and sickness. That said, your husband's objections to pull ups, etc. really don't matter any more. There are all kinds of special mattress covers, special undergarments, etc. that you could buy. But the bottom line is that even with the best products, you'll still be stuck with a lot of cleaning and laundry. More than just normal loads. As his health deteriorates, you'll have even more to do. You must take action now. You really need some help in the house, and you should be investigating a nursing home. And, above all, you must take care of yourself. If you wear yourself out, then there won't be anyone to manage your husband's care. If you have help at home or he's placed in a skilled nursing facility, you may not be doing the care yourself, but you will be overseeing it. However, if you become ill or weakened, he'll be at the mercy of strangers. Maybe knowing that will help him realize he needs to cooperate with you.

He was quoted at $1200 for 7 molars removed. Because they didn't need to come out, and instead the 3 little front teeth, it dropped to $763. Also, he was just in last week getting a regular checkup to monitor his thyroid, and because they did blood work at that time, I didn't need it with yesterday's surgery. So that saved some money. The post-op meds and follow-up in 2 weeks is included. With 2 more 'kids' I'll be trying to save up some money to get their teeth cleaned. Smudge yawned at us this morning, and his teeth are pearly white!

"I kept my cool and said nothing. At the end of the session he did tell me that I had to be the most patient person he had ever worked on. I do not consider myself a patient person." Same here. I swear I kept waiting to hear a snap or crunch of my nose from the pressure the person on my left put on my nose. I kept thinking 'does she think my nose is a handle to move my head around?' I'm surprised I didn't end up with a headache just from that! I only got 6 pain pills I think. the 2 types together were only 10.00. I told them at my check up that I'd keep them in case I break a leg or something, ya never know. that could be a time that I couldn't get out to the pharmacy. Haven't even looked to see what they actually are! I'm very careful taking things like that. I seldom even take Tylenol anymore. I think I'm always in enough pain that I think it is normal - lol! I was on tramadol for yrs (for fibro) but stopped those last fall. that was really bad - mostly because of the restless leg syndrome that came with the withdrawal. I survived that and don't want to depend on anything like it again. I do hope you get those pain pills and antibiotics into you for this healing process. And do take some 'friendly flora ' type stuff after the antibiotics are done to get your intestine tract back in order. Antibiotics will throw it off and cause many other problems for you. I take a capsule will each meal. They did tell me to keep the incision moist, to coat it with Vaseline or some such type thing. they gave me some samples of a dermo recommended ointment. It's about 30$, so I've used Vaseline so far (after samples ran out), but think I will be buying it because it didn't have the greasy feel that Vaseline does. My surgery was very, very close to the tear duct - and that worried me. I go in next week for another check up and then in mid Aug I go in for a check up on my right eye cataract surgery (that was done at the end of January). I hope you get pain free quickly!

My dad has had bowel and urinary problems for decades. The length he will go to in order to avoid just buying and using incontinence products is confounding to me. He gets violent when I even casually mention it. And he's getting funny about not wanting to do laundry so as to not wear out the washer and dryer. He's a wealthy guy, so I don't know where this is coming from other than part regression since he grew up poor, and part not wanting to deal with replacing an appliance, even though I would do it for him no problems. He has an anxiety disorder as well, so all this just ramps up his weird anxious behavior but he finds no peace in just dealing with it. As a woman who had to wear pads of one sort or another most of her adult life, wash out blood stains, suffered from chronic urinary tract infections, and as biologist, I just say get real and just do whatever, who cares. But that is lost on my dad. Not sure what the magic pill is for someone like him. Usually someone else who he isn't as invested in saving face in front of as opposed to a daughter, and doing it "in secret" or somehow on the sly is what seems to work for my dad. It's going to get worse for my Dad because he will not necessarily be on board with having himself checked for all of the conditions mentioned here, many of which I can see could or do apply to my Dad. So be thankful that at least you have the resources of the assisted living facility at your disposal. It's kind of frustrating to me that my dad really needs other people to assist him and he won't take simple help and assistance from me, but that's the way it goes. I think most AL places are aware of strategies to deal with this because it is a common problem and UTI's and other bladder and kidney problems are always something to look out for. And many can be treated and improved upon or at least dealt with to make the elder more comfortable.