I've just come down from upstairs after watching the slideshow that was played at dad's funeral....

Dad battled for the last two yrs with Dementia and an Auto Immune disorder, and last Thursday after a short (15 hour)fight with Pneumonia, he passed away. Mum, my sister and I were lucky enough to spend that last 15hours with dad, I think at some stage that will be a consolation, but right now it just seems to unreal. I know as every tells us, dad is at peace and not struggling through life as he had done for the last 6mths....however that doesn't take into account that I've lost him, and a link in my family chain.... Its all so raw and strange....

We also have mum with Alzheimer's disease and over the last 3yrs I think I have spent a lot of time grieving for all the stages of mum that have dropped away.....

We all thought dad would be around for longer than mum, am not sure why..... Life just seems so creul sometimes...

I am thankful that my brother called whilst he was changing planes in London, it just happened to be dad's last 10mins with us and we were able to put the phone to dad's ear, after 5hrs in a coma, he opened his eye, he knew it was my brother. Mum earlier the night before had dad tell her he loved her, and my sister and I were both looked at and our names were said, we also got the dad rub. Right up till he went into the Resthome he would rub you hand with his thumb....funny how those things you don't think about and then it doesn't happen for 6mths and it happens again and you realise that that is your fathers special way....

I went back to work on Monday and was thankful by Wednesday that I only work three days....am exhausted from putting on a false face to the world...

Thanks for listening