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Feel so helpless...anyone ever go through this?

13 years ago

Don't know where to begin...but will try

My sister is mentally disable and her husband has got cancer.He is taking treatments but the type of cancer he has, he may have 6 months to live.My concern is my sister & what will happen to her.They are very poor & she can not pay all the bills after her husband passes....but I worry about her because she is prone to mental breakdowns & has to be hospitalized (this has gone on for years with her).I feel that she will have another 'breakdown' when her husband DOES die and she will have to be put in an institution....I feel so helpless altho I help her in anyway I can.My money situation is also as bad so I'm limited as far as helping with her bills...my younger sister keeps saying not to 'cross that bridge till we have to' but how can I NOT worry?

I have talked to my husband about my concerns & ask him if she could live with us and he has refused because of her mental condition.

I am so stressed I don't know what to do!

Any advise...or...just having someone respond will help me feel less alone . I have read peoples postings in here & I know that my burdens are minor in comparison to some...my heart goes out to each and every one of you that have an ache in your heart like mine.Thank you for any advise ...may God Bless you all

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Comments (4)

mav63_2007
13 years ago
I am so sorry about your dilema. I don't have any words of wisdom because this is a very unique situation. Maybe you could get in touch with your local Social Services or Human Resource Service. I feel so sorry for your sister, I have been in the same situation, my husband died of cancer. It is wonderful that she has you to be there for her and she is really going to need you.
God Bless.
sylviatexas1
13 years ago
If my husband "refused" to let me help my sister because of her "mental condition" (the very reason she needs help), I think I'd have to kick him out the door.

& it's far better to have a plan than to wait until the crisis occurs & you have to "cross that bridge".

Mav is right;
Your sister's entire future is at stake, & that's too crucial to just twiddle your thumbs;
if anybody ever needed profession & expert help, it's your sister.

Since you aren't getting any help at all from your husband or your other sister, it's up to you to get the information & help your sister needs, & now is definitely the time to get to work on it.

Bless you for caring for your sister, & I wish you the best.
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sylviatexas1
13 years ago
You might post on the Caregivers Forum as well.
socks
13 years ago
I'm sure you have been over this before, but is sister under a doctor's care for her mental condition? Maybe there are meds that help her.

Your sister said not to help with bills yet? If that's correct, I understand what she is saying. Don't start helping financially until you have to. But you cannot let them have utilities turned off, or not pay rent. I understand too that you are balancing what you can do for them with your husband's opinions.

I can tell you are worried sick. I've been no help here, but I do sympathize. I second Sylvia's suggestion of posting over on the Care Giver's Forum. You can try with your social services to get help from them. You might even get some help from the utilities if they are low income.

Here is a link that might be useful: Care Givers

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