My father died from lung cancer on 7/2/07. I didn't know he had died until ten days after his death nor did I know he was sick. I read online that my father had died. He was only 65. I had not spoken to my father in four years because he refused to speak with me. I would call him and he would hang up on me. I loved my father more then anythinghe was my only parent. My father was angry at me because I let my teen children (14, 15, 16 years old) live with their father when we got a divorce after 21 years. My children preferred living with their father because they wanted to stay in the school they have always attended and because of their friends. I was hurt by my childrenÂs choice but I felt I should let them choose.
I loved my father so muchÂI canÂt believe he did this to me. He told my only sister not to tell me he was sick or died. Now I have to wonder all my life whether he loved me or not. ItÂs obvious he wanted me to hurtÂor else he wouldnÂt have done this. He knew by not telling me that I would be hurt all my life. I donÂt think I can forgive my sister for not telling me because I never got to see my father again. I have no closer.
IÂve been depressed all my lifeÂmy mother abandoned my sister and I when I was 7 yrs old. I grew up depressed because of this and mean step mothers who abused us. But this with my father is the worse. I donÂt know how IÂll get over this IÂm depressed and suicidal at times. My father meant so much to meÂIÂll never understand how he could hurt me this way. I would give anything to have my father back.