Hey Chris..Will you place your Orchids under artificial light during winter? Another leaf. Very good sign. You sounded a little worried when you first brought them home, since the previous owners weren't caring for them properly. Now that a new leaf grew, you KNOW it's alive and well. Especially this time of year. You guys are lucky it's sunny. We've had five, straight days of rain and clouds..boohoo. Mike..You best stay off that foot! One day in the future, your foot will hurt. You'll say, "Toni was right, I should have stayed off my foot." lol. Seriously. Yep, variegated Orchids. I've got a few pics. Some pics were taken in 2009. I need either new batteries or new camera. The batteries aren't that old, but the charge lasts about 15 mins, if that long. Ludisia Ludisia flowers Variegated Phal Variegated Phal 2 Orchids, Variegated 3 and 4 Variegated Vanilla Bean Orchid That's it for variegated. Remaining Orchids are green. As soon as my camera is fixed/replaced, I'll have to update. I suggest you guys get what's called Extra Variegated Vanilla Bean Orchid. I also have a green, over 10-yr-old Vanilla, but it's never bloomed. Still, variegated leaves are beautiful, even w/o flowers. Well, going to get to bed, so tired. Toni

This is the first time in a while I've had a chance to read through the more recent posts. I have to say my heart goes out to Melissa Stewart, who never did post again, sadly. My first impulse was to suggest putting a lock on the bedroom door! BTW, maifleur01's post of August 28, 2016 wasn't very clear to me. I think what she was saying was that AL facilities might be helpful to early/moderate dementia patients, but not all of them are willing to be moved there. This is very true. My MIL did not want to move. However, we did not give her a choice. She had lived with us for 7 yrs and it was stressing my DH's (her only child) health. The facility we found for her is a world away from the "just sitting in chairs" places. It is a 5-acre secure campus, complete with its own senior center and as mentioned before, a full schedule of activities every day. The regular routines and voluntary activities helped very much in slowing down the progression of her dementia. Her anxiety lessened, and she no longer needed the anti-depressants or BP bills either. She was the ideal candidate for a facility because she was very social but personally awkward at making friends (she felt it was being "pushy" and unladylike to be the instigator). The casual, regular social interactions enabled her to finally make new friends. This non-profit facility is the third-ranked of its type in the state. It has the lowest staff turnover percentage and one of the highest staff-to-resident ratios. The downside is, you need $$$ for this. Without exception we found the better quality full-care facilities did not take Medicaid patients. IF you passed the interview, had a signed evaluation of your mental/physical health from your doctor, and could claim sufficient financial assets for at least 5 yrs of rental expense, you could be accepted as a resident. In such case, as a current resident if you needed care in the future and ran out of funds, the facility can CHOOSE to apply for Medicaid on your behalf so you may continue to be a resident. Most non-profits will do this. Many for-profits, which unfortunately comprise the bulk of the industry and who are rapidly buying up existing non-profits when possible, do NOT do this. No funds = no residency. Always be sure, if you are looking for a facility for an elderly family member, that you make several visits, research their rankings (both federal and state inspections), and ask as many questions about "what if?" as you can. Just FYI, an article last week in the WS Journal on "We're running out of caregivers" said the average cost of a home health aide, full time (8 hr day) is now $49,000/yr. Remember if the aide is hired directly, you are also responsible for Social Security and other taxes, as an employer.

Sipsy, you have received a lot of really good advice on this thread. I hope you find it possible to take it and use it to end this now. It seems to me that even if you are completely right and this issue was an intentional slight by one sister that they all allowed to happen, you have to recognize that these people see things differently. You have told your MIL and another SIL about the issue and it made no difference (other than your MIL giving you some small items). So why keep beating a dead horse? These people will not and perhaps cannot change things now. This situation that was handled badly in the past, can never be changed. Oh sure, they might all get together and say "Wow, how could we have been so blind and mean and thoughtless to poor Sipsy and her DH? We were really horrible to them. How can we ever make this right?" They could then spend their lives making it up to you. But you and I both know that will not happen. As has been pointed out by others, all you will achieve by making an issue of this over Christmas is to show that you are bitter and uncaring about how your actions will affect the whole family, some of whom at least were not even born when this happened. Is that likely to endear you to these people who you say you wanted to be closer to? Will their reactions to your "confrontation" likely make you care about them more? No, so don't do it. You need to decide what you want the most. Is it a loving, if imperfect, family? Or is it to be right and have them grovel and beg forgiveness? The second will not happen no matter what you do. The first you have the power to create but only if you give up your determination to keep fighting for what you can't have. Accept their imperfections and dysfunctions; all families have them. Its part of what makes for great family stories and "in jokes" and love that goes beyond what we deserve and what others deserve and instead focusses on accepting each other just as we are, warts and all. If you can forgive their unkindness of 18 years ago perhaps they will forgive your holding this grudge for that long. You have to take the first step towards building the family you want - they may be happy with the relationship as it is. You are the one who wants change so you have to be the one to reach out with love not resentment. I know leaving this kind of hurt behind when it has been a companion for so long may not be easy but once you let it go it will free you. You are the one who has been suffering all these years and that has been your own doing. Had you accepted 18 years ago that this is just how these people are whether you like it or not, you could have had 18 years of building happy memories with them. It is never too late for you to change course and start to make up the time you've lost. Act out of love, not hurt, and be kind especially to those who you don't think deserve it. It is not weakness; in fact it may be the hardest thing you ever do but it is the kind of thing that builds happy families. Is that what you really want? Good luck and have a "peace-filled" Christmas.

Well, how did the evening go? Pink, I would take Deborah's advice, she is wise... -BUT- I would also set boundaries. Snooping-no way! You don't want her driving your child? - don't let her! You are the Mom control the situation. I would have been thrilled if my MIL had sent pictures of my child to friends and family. She was good to my child while she was growing up but there was always tension between me and her- I was always the outsider or outlaw(and the closest neighbor). I sucked it up and carried on, never called her on anything. She was never overtly mean to me but made little comments and made many demands around the holidays. My DH was always aware of it but never took a stand even when I ranted and raved over her. Ten years ago my husbands father died and there was a huge rift in the family, we didn't see or speak to MIL for over 8 years even though she was 1/2 miles down the road. I was shocked last Christmas when I saw her comming thru the yard on her walker! DH's brother had brought her to have Christmas dinner with us. She had had a stroke, and was much older looking than when I last saw her, but I greeted her with a kiss. Then I went out on the deck for a smoke and a drink! I stayed on the side lines and kept my mouth shut, just let DH and DD visit with her, it was strained, but at least they got to "visit" for a while, and all went well. It felt so good! I think she must have seen what shes been missing - family! She came back for Easter too. I am the one that cooks for the holidays now and the house is always full of her kids, gkids and ggkids and I like having her here too. I try to dwell on the good times, DH and DD are still wary (they were very hurt)but they are comming around. She taught me alot, about being the wife of a farmer, raising kids and how not to be a mother in law. I hope I can be a good future mother in law. Things change, be open to it.