My best friend's husband died suddenly the day after Thanksgiving last year. She has two young children (7 and 11). I have been coordinating support for her and can offer the following suggestions: - She was in complete shock for the first 2-3 weeks and really couldn't see or speak to anyone other than family and one or two very close friends. During this period, we had people help by dropping off some meals at the back door, phoning her mom to see if groceries were needed, and we asked for some help related to his funeral (food for the reception, etc.) - Offering to host a playdate/help with child care is a great idea. Also, in the first few weeks, lots of people provided gifts, cards and other goodies for her kids. It didn't ease their pain, but it did sometime distract them. Over the long-term, help with the children will always be welcome I would imagine. - If finances are a concern for the family, you might be able to find ways to help with things that help in small or large ways. My friend's children were enrolled in various extracurricular activities and I asked those providers if they would consider donating a free session or class to ease her financial concerns. We received many generous offers. My friend was also touched by gift cards for a massage, or a mani/pedi - things that would provide her with physical comfort. - We arranged for dog walking for the family dog. - About a month after my friend lost her husband, we started a schedule of people who were able to walk with her around noon every day - walking helps her cope so much better with her grief. - I am still organizing meals for her 3 times a week (this is 3 months after she lost her husband) - I have many people who are still happy to contribute meals and it helps my friend and her family feel loved. Supporting a family after such a tragic loss really is a long term effort and just the smallest of gestures will make a huge difference in making your daughter's friend's family feel less alone.

The only reason I would even for a minute consider staying in this relationship is if there were kids in the picture. You should consider yourself BLESSED that this is happening now, not after you have kids. Trust me, I've been where you are, my ex-wife cheated on me two times, 3 yrs apart (we have two kids) The first time around, I tried to see it from her perspective, give her the benefit of the doubt, convince myself that I was partially responsible for driving her to do it, etc. We "worked on things" (I put it in quotes because I tried, she never really did, just went thru the motions) for a couple years, but I could tell her heart was never really into it. Then she did it again. We are now happily divorced, but I feel bad for my kids, I never wanted to raise them in a 50/50 custody situation...but it is what it is. I would have NEVER even considered giving the relationship a chance the first time around if I didn't have kids with this woman. It was all the same stuff..lie lie lie, I had to drag every thing out of her...she never opened up, and I caught her in so many lies it was unreal. Get out now. Sorry to say this, but "she's just not into you" apparently. Count your blessings that you are not bound to her (like I am) by children, you can just walk away and not turn around and move forward in your life. Don't become obsessed with getting revenge with her or anything like that. The best revenge is by going out and living life to it's fullest for yourself! And screw what your families think....you are a grown up, you don't need to worry about what they think. Good luck. It sucks, I know, but I would have given anything to have this happen to me before I had kids, it's 1000 times worse when there are kids in the picture.

It's amazing how reliant so many of us get on these things! Yes I have a new one and getting it organized a bit. I haven't buried my old friend yet. I'm going to see if a heart transplant can bring life back. Been wanting a second one anyway. I have plenty of machines around I could get a desktop put together but the notebook is so much more convenient. The worst part is how it happened two days before I needed to head out of town for a picnic. And of course all planning, checklists, etc, were in there! So my memory got tested. But I survived it and had a good time. Used some of the time at the motel to download some of the huge files too. 135mb just for Windows updates. Then of course antivirus, spyware programs, etc. Thanks all for the kind words. But the reminder for building a "naughty chair" is in the old computer so it'll be a while before that'll happen! ;) I'm getting some thunder here so I suppose I'd better log off. Don't need the new one to get zapped.

Nicole I can well imagine the anxiety that those parents are feeling.I will keep them in my prayers, but as was stated before, they perform miracles with medicine these days. That being said it would be so much better for the babies if they can just hold on for a week more. My daughter had twins just 2 years ago November a boy and a girl. She delivered two weeks before her due date. They are just the best !! Have you posted any new pics of your little one recently? We love baby pics. Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family. June