All I know is that if the Government didn't take my money, from me and spend it on things they invent, I would spend it on me, and maybe put my neighbor to work. If the problem is all the stuff we buy comes from overseas, then look at the why the Government allows unbalanced trade, and also why any American company would have an advantage to move production overseas. It just seems that no matter what the problem, the government can't fix it, because at some level, they created it. OK, the FBI is knocking at my door, gotta go! lol George

Well stated CelticMoon. I am glad to hear you can help. Your nephews illustrate the point about why evaluating parent participation is important. I cannot understand why some investment bankers kid would be entitled to the same level of aid which is what would happen if parents were not required to disclose their finances. So there is less money available for those who cannot afford it. Do you honestly think the average millionaire would say, oh my kid who got into Harvard will not go since he did not get enough aid and I want him to go to Z College instead so he can work his way through? While there are always the exceptions, the average wealthy person is thrilled his kid is at a good school and is more than willing to write the check. The truth is that a gifted student or athlete in that of Celtics nephews situation has an excellent chance at a good education and a combination of scholarships (usually from the school), grants (school or businesses or government) and low interest loans (not all college loans are). Scholarships and grants do not have to be repaid. Often they are not even based on academics or sports, there are small ones out there for kids from a particular area, interested in a specific hobby, that type of thing. Apparently there are now web sites that identify them. So really poor kids who are gifted still have a shot. Its the ones who are average or are mildly gifted but whose parents are neither poor nor wealthy enough to comfortably afford college that need to worry the most. Even if you make 150k a year, putting 3 kids through college at 40k each, good luck. Also, says this Mother of Five (all 10 and under), schools look at how many kids you are sending to school at one time. I changed my planning after the 4th and 5th were born because now our situation was different! Either he is a child and I am resposible for him or he's an adult and I'm not There is no reason for my child to suffer for a principle. The reality is without filling out an aid application, my child will not be eligible. Bottom line this is the way the system works, accept it or write to your congressman to have universal college education paid for by the government. Some states had almost that when I was in college. Schools ranger from 7k -10k a year while UT at Austin was about 500 (no idea what it costs now). You can argue that he should work his way through and leave the aid money for Celtic's nephews, fine. You can also argue that since it is unlikely he will qualify for aid you do not want to hurt his chances of admission (yes this does happen when a kid is on the fence, they will take the one who does not ask for money) or reveal your finances to strangers. Ok I can accept that. Or that giving him more than X will severly endanger your own retirement, I can also accept that. Unless your child plans a future in the military (which is possible given your background and West Point is free but is not possible or desireable for everyone(no offense different strokes) or has an entrepenuarial bent or a talent in sports or sales or a vocation, the best way I can see to give my children their best shot at money and position and job satisfaction is to encourage them to go to the best college and graduate school they can get into. Sure if there is an equally good cheaper state school, by all means PLEASE attend. To arbitraily say, ok the government says I am no longer responsible for him even though I was responsible for him yesterday and was even willing to pay yesterday but I am not paying today, please. It is arbitrary. I agree with you that it does seem odd that you could no longer access his medical records or school records after that day. But this was not a rule he invented. I believe I have the responsibilty to raise a child until he is a functioning adult in a career that his intellect and education suite him for. If I worked so hard for 18 years to raise him, why would I dump him just as he was nearing the finish line? Why does my child have to reinvent the wheel? Just because my DH worked his way through school and took out loans, why does my child? My parents paid my way and if possible I would like to pay my childs. Frankly my parents taught me a lot more about money management than did DHs. I had a lot of educating to do when we got married. He rarely discussed money with them except to hear what they could not afford. Now that he makes his own he feels a certain entitlement and is sometimes a little overly generous with himself. I keep meaning to read Rich Dad Poor Dad. He had no idea how to use credit or invest. I cannot believe the crap he invested in when he made his first money. As for carrying a balance on credit cards at 15% while paying off his 5% student loans, do not get me started (ancient history now). If anything I would teach children how to manage money, how to invest it and use credit wisely. As for working why would I have them waste hours they could be studying working at some menial after school job making minimum wage. Sure a work ethic is important, summer jobs are a good thing. However as far as I can tell until they graduate from college or start working, they have one job and that is to work on their academics to achieve as much as possible. This is the ideal version. The reality is my kids may have to work to help pay for college but it will not be because of some arbitrary principle but rather because of genuine need Claiming them or not on their taxes has nothing to do with anything

"Are you claiming that she works full-time at McDonald's as a grill cook? I don't think so." Yes, I am. She's full time as a crew member. She does a little of everything--whatever needs done. The guy working for the city does a LOT of other jobs. They don't just collect trash, they work with the street department doing repairs, they do groundskeeping at the city buildings, they set up and tear down for public events, they decorate the city at the holidays, and I'm sure other jobs that I don't know about. His wife works full time at a local nursing home as a CNA. They don't have money, but they have a boisterous, interesting family. The floor guy at the hospital has a wife and kids. She works too, although I don't know where. Good grief, what's so damn hard to believe about someone being happy without a lot of money? Personal fulfillment comes in many different forms--and sometimes that's just doing one's job well, no matter what it is. I know plenty of unhappy people with lots of money and lots of education too.

I would have to get out his test reports to give all of his disabilities with the correct terms. He has fine motor skill problems which have make writing more difficult. His reading skills are much lower than normal although his comprehension is high. He has trouble with memory skills, organizational skills, attention span, you name it, he has it. He has been in what is called the "Discovery" program since 6th grade. It is run through the national institute for learning disabilities. He has had an individual learning program since 2nd grade. He has attended Discovery classes for 90 minutes, twice a week up until last year. We feel that he has been given the tools that he needs and know it is time for him to sharpen them and use them to his advantage. His discovery teacher once explained a 90 minute session for him akin to having him rum laps around the track for hours. It is physically exhausting. It is believed that the base of the brain is underdeveloped with dyslexic kids and so they focus on developing it through various mental exercises. One is called rhythmic writing which involves the student writing on a chalkboard similar shapes repeating the direction of the movements out loud. They also add verbal math problems and such. They force the students to use both sides of their brains during this exercise. It is actually quite common for dyslexic kids and kids with other learning disabilities to have higher than normal IQs. That adds to the frustration and behavioral problems because the kids have the answers in their heads but can't get them out on paper. Sometimes we test DS verbally because of his reading problems. It is quite a challenge and when this boy walks across the stage to receive his diploma I don't know that I will be able to contain myself.