ali, what about putting an arbor in and growing a honeysuckle up it? From the edge and in from the driveway to the tree, I'd edge out the grass from that area and curve slightly to the end of the concrete pad in front of your home, the patio area. All the way to the end. Let's give you some curb appeal ;) Put the middle of the arbor in front of the edge of the concrete pad where the car is sitting, about 3 feet in. From the middle of the arbor to the drive and then going up your house, you could create a path that would curve over to the sidewalk and to the front door. For right now, using newspapers and a 5 gallon bucket filled with water, cover up all grass with layers of newspapers you've plunged into the water. Lay them down, overlapping as you go. I typically use about 10 layers of paper. The more, the better. If you can create your path first, either using stepping stones or gravel, lay down something like visqueen and lay the stepping stones or the gravel over to create the path. Remove the grass where the path will be so that nobody trips over stepping stones or gravel. Take out a V shape where you're going into the lawn from driveway to tree and up and over to the end of your home. Remove the dirt and the grass from the V, so that you've got a drop off of sorts and lay your wet newspaper to curve down into the area where the dirt is. Cover the area up with mulch or mushroom compost if you can get your hands on some, except for the path area. By next year, the newspaper will start to decompose and the grass will be dead, but it adds to the organic matter of newspaper and the dead grass. Worm heaven. From now and thru winter, study up on various perennials and possibly a few shrubs that produce berries for our other feathered friends. Next year, push back the mulch or mushroom compost and dig holes to plant. There should be enough room to the right of the path up to your front door, to add in a shrub. Then the other shrubs could go in front of the poles, under planted and going out to the edge with perennials. I prefer natives. They're adapted to our weather, our soil, they make up our ecosystem. Find a list of native plants for your area, and research those plants as to what hummingbirds like and also which ones make seed that other birds will like to eat on. The native plants won't require dead heading, don't need pruned or cut back so they look better....I just prefer them over all. Now an iris in there isn't going to hurt anything ;)...or a peony....both left by the previous owner that I decided to leave and a friend of mine from TN also gave me a beautiful iris that is sentimental to me. But again, those 2 are easy plants. Hummingbirds will love to sit and rest a spell on shrubs you provide and give you a closer look at their beauty. Too much?? Where do you live? Zone 5, but where? lovefornature, you're doing a wonderful job! It's people like you who join GW that make it an enjoyable site to visit. If you like butterflies and are interested in attracting some of them to come to your yard, you could plant a Aristolochia tomentosa or Aristolochia durior. Another plant I love that I don't know draws anything in, but blooms in late summer, is Clematis virginiana. Another neat native clematis is Clematis glaucophylla. I also answered the e-mail you sent, I hope you got it.

I was working as a temp at Fred Jones Manufacturing, about of mile, as the crow flies, from the Murrah building. The week before our fire alarms had gone off. Someone on the third floor had run into one of the sprinklers with a forklift. Because of all the volatile chemicals present in the building, once the alarms went off we had to evacuate, even though we knew in five minutes what had happened. But alarms in our building went off simultaneously at the nearest fire station so we were required to wait until we had an all clear from the firemen before we could return. When we felt the blast we just figured this time someone had dropped a forklift. We got up and prepared to head downstairs expecting to evacuate again. On our way to the stairs we looked in the offices to the east to see if they, too, were preparing to leave the building. ThatÂs when we saw the smoke and all the papers flying around in the street below us. All the plate glass windows on the ground floor shattered, and you could smell the stench. Many of the smaller windows on the upper floors were cracked, and the blast put a crack in the east wall of the building, originally completed in 1916, that was not there before. Two of the men I worked with lost their wives. They both worked for HUD and were at the sign-in desk when the bomb went off. One had been married about 12 years at the time. They had spent most of their first ten years of marriage trying to have a child. Finally, about a year before the bombing they had a little boy. Until about a month prior to the bombing he had been in the day care center in the Murrah building. They had taken him back the week before the bombing for a birthday party. They took lots of pictures of all the kids at the party. He was asked to take those pictures and go to Denver to testify during the sentencing phase of the trial. Poor man, he was so grief-stricken at losing his wife that he moved back in with his mother to have help with the little boy and never again lived in the house heÂd shared with his wife. Another man had a "near miss" with his wife. She also worked for HUD and, under normal circumstances, would have been right there with the other two menÂs wives, but her job involved travel to Indian communities. She had a regularly scheduled travel date that conflicted with their only childÂs, a daughter, soccer game so she traded and traveled on the 19th to be home for the girlÂs soccer game. My daughter and her best friend, just two years out of high school, were both working evening shifts. My daughter was waiting tables at a restaurant near our apartment, and her friend worked at the sign-in desk at what was then the Westin Hotel downtown. I think itÂs now a Sheraton. Being accustomed to staying up late they didnÂt wake up until maybe 10 am. Once they heard the news they took off together to see what they could do to help. First they tried the Oklahoma Blood Institute which had put out a call for O negative donations (my daughter is not O negative, not sure about her friend), but every donation center was swamped. They had to turn away people because there would simply not be enough time in the day to take that many donations. They went to a fabric store to buy ribbons. No ribbon color had yet been selected to represent the city and the tragedy so they picked purple. Late that first night they took their spools of ribbon downtown and tied them around all the poles along the marked off perimeter of the area. The next night a policeman would remember having seen my daughter tying ribbons. Next they tried volunteering for anything that was needed. Again, they were turned away everywhere because everyone was swamped with people volunteering to help. They finally managed to convince someone, Red Cross I think, that they had something to offer most of their other volunteers didnÂt. They were young, worked evenings, and were accustomed to being up very late. They could be there to help in the middle of the night when most of their other volunteers needed to get some rest. Mostly they just served drinks to the rescuers, police, and others working on the rescue effort. This is when the policeman remembered seeing my daughter tying ribbons the night before. My daughterÂs friend "caught" a rescue worker buying himself a soft drink from a vending machine on the hotelÂs first floor. She "scolded" him and pointed out that one flight up, on the Mezzanine, rescue workers were being provided drinks for free. I remember a news article where some of the rescuers who came from New York remarked about how in 1993, the first time the World Trade Center was attacked, street vendors showed up charging outrageous prices for coffee and sandwiches. Here, we pretty much fed them for free. Cots were set up in the convention center for the rescuers to sleep rather than them having to pay for hotel accommodations, and the governorÂs wife worked with local florists to see that a rose was placed on each cot every night. Whenever the rescue effort put out a call for supplies, I specifically remember boots for the search dogs, in short order they would be literally inundated. WeÂd hear the local news people ask for something then the next thing you hear is, "Please, we have enough of this, no more!" I have a friend who was still active in Boy Scouts then, both his sons were in Scouting. He remembers sitting at the Channel 5 location with a semi trailer taking donations. He says the line of cars waiting to drop things off was enormous. He especially remembers a little old lady; he says she probably could hardly walk, driving up bringing goods and then insisting on also writing a check to help out. Sometime in the late Â90s I took my first, and so far only, tour of the Crystal Bridge. I donÂt remember where in the gardens it is, and I donÂt even remember what exactly it is, but somewhere is a tree, small when I saw it, with a plaque in front of it that states the tree is a thank you gift to the city from rescuers who came from Arizona. I canÂt explain how perplexed I was when I read the plaque. They came to help us. It is we who should thank them, but there I was staring at a tree these Arizonans gave us in thanks. I think that gesture says a lot about who we are and how we were perceived in the immediate aftermath of the bombing. We have another anniversary this week. While the environmentalists co-opted it some years ago for "Earth Day" for me it will always be the anniversary of the run of Â89. Thousands of brave souls came looking for a new life, but one that they would have to carve out of the wilderness by their own efforts and hard work, having no one else to rely on but themselves and their neighbors. Less than twenty years later Oklahoma Territory joined with Indian Territory, another situation where people had to make a new life in the wilderness by their own work except that it was forced on them and not their choice, to form the State of Oklahoma. We are the sons, daughters, grandsons, and granddaughters of these pioneers. Through oil booms and busts and the associated economic ups and downs, the Dust Bowl, killer tornadoes, and the Murrah Building bombing we have continued to exhibit what Howard Witt, writing for the Chicago Tribune on the occasion of the bombingÂs 10th anniversary, called our "Âessential prairie stoicism--the same ÂOklahoma spirit for which they were lauded in the aftermath of the bombing, when Oklahomans demonstrated extraordinary decency, humility and bootstrap resiliency" based on "deep religious faith and unblushing middle American values." I agree with Dawn. April 19, 1995 was both our worst tragedy and our finest hour. I have never been more proud of my state and its people than I was in those dark days of April. IÂve always said that no matter how much nicer, prettier, easier other places might be to live, I wouldnÂt want to live anywhere else, and my fellow Okies are the reason. You are the best people in the world, and that goes just the same for all you "transplants" and "adoptees." YouÂre here now, and as my Granddad would say, "youÂre ourÂn." Debra

roselvr, you couldn't be more wrong, but that's what happens when you make up your own story, including endings. Go back and reread this post, making like you have no clue what is going on. Maybe ask a friend to read it to see if they get confused. I am not the only one confused; it is due to the way you originally told the story. I mentioned that if you would have added more facts to your 1st post - Chin up everyone, our home sold in 2 day, BY OWNER, for 15K over the Appraisal. The Appraisal came in ridiculously low, but then again if you would read the comps they used, you'd see at least a partial reason for it. then a blurb more here about the appraisal.. Next I would follow with, the buyers looked at other houses for more and said ours was the best for the price, and that even though the appraisal came in low and they knew we didn't have the contingency, they are still happy because they can pay the difference. yada yada This just goes to show that in real estate, you never know what will happen! The ONLY mention of Court was due to 'discussion', CHATTER, between ALL of us, as far as what happens, or COULD happen in instances such as this when the Appraisal comes in lowballed. There was never plans that we were going to Court, because they truly LOVE the house, and it meets the list of criteria that they had lined out during their search. There were no threats, period. Had you added this part (about lunch / and discussing) before mentioning court the 2 times you did, it wouldn't have sounded like a threat. As I said, it's the way you told the story. Now if for whatever reason you NEED to feel that we scammed our buyers, then have at it, I don't really care. I have learned that there are people like you and a few others on this board who just can't stand it if someone else has a bit of happiness or good fortune. Hubby and I are thrilled, our buyers are elated. I said that the way you put things made it sound like. After you elaborated, we now know more of the story. I'm probably in the same boat as you FWIW. I highly doubt they will find comps similar to our house due to different reasons, size, shape, landscaping, driveway. So I have a personal interest in a story such as yours. So congrats, and if you haven't closed I hope all goes well.

Today was 90 days and he is still sober. If I hadn't put a link on my browser to ever having written any of this I would have forgotten entirely. I am forgetful (or forgiving) and this time maybe that's a good thing for a change. He has definitely made it easy to at least not think about it. Our relationship had deteriorated to a point where I was Mom to his two children and an out of control teenager (him). I think the turn around was that I gave up on him. I let my heart go icy cold. I gave up on fighting his training. I treated him exactly how he has trained me to treat him, with distrust and animosity. I neither hid nor revealed anything and I volunteered not a single word because talking to him had never helped. Only when he asked did I speak and what I spoke was brutally honest and emotionless. Exactly how I felt, just nothing anymore. I was fully prepared to leave him forever and I didn't care if he realized it or not. I told him that I need three months to get my affairs in order and he will give that to me because he owes me, period. I told him in the mean time your finances are your problems now. I will no longer police your spending so if your kids go hungry then you are to blame. However, I will be eating, I can take care of myself. Its you and your children that will go hungry and all three of you can sit at the table watching me eat. I don't care. Get your paychecks sent to your account tomorrow, as in tomorrow, drop what ever crap you think is important and get your ass to the bank otherwise your paychecks become my paychecks and I will not be sharing just as you haven't been sharing with me. I told him to make preparations for his children to be taken in by their mother, grandparents, someone, I don't care who because I am leaving and if you haven't gotten a plan together when I do walk away from this hell hole in three months then they will eventually be taken away from you by force. And get this done quick because as of this very second I refuse to wash dishes, do laundry, cook, clean, or anything else that I really don't have to do because there is no longer anything that I feel I have to do for you or yours anymore. Then I told him that I will not look after his kids anymore either. If you think you are going to leave them with me, I will make a point in getting me out of the house at my convenience, and they will be here alone, scared, and crying. I don't care anymore. I refuse to watch them. Take them to work if you have to. You benefiting from me and my parents is over. This was in the summer so the kids were home all day and he took them to work that day, just like I have taken them to work everyday for the last three years. I work in my families business so taking them to work was a pain in the ass but manageable. That day he realized that you only get 1/4 of the work done when the kids are around and you feel like punching babies at the end of the day. He begged for another chance. I told him how many chances do you need? The last three years were nothing but chances and you failed, you crashed and now you are burning and I wouldn't stop to piss on you because it would help you. How many accidents does a person have before they can be labeled as just not giving a sh**? How many times can a person say "I didn't know" before they can be labeled as a complete f**king retard? You have given me nothing but words, words are cheap, and cheapen even more when coming from your mouth. He begged me to tell him what to do to fix things. I told him that I have been telling him what to do for three years, you refused all of it. Dig deep into the crap pile that is left of your brain. I am sure you can come up with a million ideas if you just tried. I told him that there are three months before I leave. Prove to me, show me, make it a possibility for me to stay. Make me want to stay but in the mean time I am preparing to get out of dodge because I don't think you can do it. In fact, I know you can't do it. I do not believe in you anymore. And I meant it right to the center of my icy heart. I felt nothing but the weight of myself burdening me which was many tons lighter than what I had been carrying. This made me happy and he saw that. He saw that I was happy because there was a light at the end of my tunnel now. Ok, shake it off. Getting all worked up here. He has turned everything around and is maintaining. All he has done is quit drinking and everything else fell into place. He has a better memory, he has more energy, he has more time, his mood is more consistent, he smiles, we are paying off our debt which has gone faster than we predicted, saving money, and will soon be able to splurge every now and then. There has been all of this improvement with just one life change (one really hard life change) and he knows it because he is living it and frequently comments that it was the drinking. He still has urges but the frequency has been decreasing. He knows that he has ruined himself with alcohol as in once he has been ruined he can not go back. I love him more now than when I married him. If he falls off the wagon? I don't know. We will deal with that when it happens.