Wow Lesli, a Live oak, I love them. I'm trying to grow a Live oak here in Pa. It is the Quartz mountain Live oak, the hardiest Live oak, probably in the world. It did good last winter, which was a mild one. Your's is likely a Texas Live oak, but, if you are in Eastern Texas you could grow the plain Live oak that is usually grown in the more humid (rainier) parts of Texas. And is usually found in the moister southern states. Either way that is a beautiful tree, and good sized, well, you did say it's 500+ years old. I hope mine can handle my winters good enough to get some size to it before I croak.

Don't know if I can be much help but I lost my very special husband in 1985. Kissed me goodbye & went to work, I found myself at a hospital that afternoon, waiting only to finally have someone come in & say, I'm sorry, do you have a mortician(at least that is all I heard)So my trip has been long,24 years. He had a coronary & died instantly. We had 15 yr old DD & 17 yr DS.It was like being put on a stage & handed a script & told you had to play the part. Nothing was real until after everyone left. I had visited a lot of elderly people from church & knew what happened to some of them. They very nearly "crawled in a hole"(under the cover in bed) 1 lady had newspapers all over the yard, shades or curtains drawn, didn't look like anyone home, we had turned to leave when she opened the door. She told me that was the 1st connection to the world she had found since her hubby had died, our visit gave her courage to get out. I remembered that & told myself, what if he were sitting here, would he want to see me crying, would he be torn apart to see me like this, so I just put him in the picture when the going got rough. He was always supportive & loving, we didn't fight in the 22 years we were together because we didn't want to hurt each other. We did have I think 6 times we were silent when each of us thought we were right. Those few times ended with us talking it over & deciding together what to do. I did lot of locking myself out of house(carried extra car & house keys in my purse) ran washer without any clothes in it, couldn't spell 4-5 letter words, couldn't look them up as "when" didn't seem to compute in my brain. I'd write woo, woen,just couldn't write small words. Eventually that stopped but it will start up again for short periods when someone close dies. I carry extra $20 in case I forget gas in my car. I learned to do a lot of compensating. I learned that I could stay in bed 1 day if it was rainy or very cold but then I must get up & fix myself some hot choc., read a book, listen to favorite music, couldn't let it continue into the night. I had to have very good reason for that day off. Rest of time when I wanted to "disappear" I forced myself out to a strip mall to watch people leaving the grocery store, did small errand to get it done & not feel useless, maybe just dropping letters off at post office. If things got bad I called my bro. & he listened & that was a great help. I had people wanting me to pay for headstones when I hadn't ordered 1. I got cheated by ins. company as they didn't leave me amount on their letterhead so I wrote it down & had him sign it but they told me I was wrong,lost about $500 on that. Got so I only cried when something good happened. So have a trusted friend or relative as a witness to anything legal you have to do. Time passed & I kept busy. People think widows have all kinds of time!! Right, I had to do all things I always had & what he did also. Putting gas in car was very upsetting, I had never done it. I had handled the bills & such so didn't have to learn that. My kids left home & after a few years, with some wandering & number of jobs, they are great kids(they felt pretty lost, too)Am I over it after 24 yrs??? No, most days I just think of him several times, lovely memories, but seeing a couple holding hands, leaning on each other, I feel cheated out of that. I'm very grateful we had 24 wonderful years together & hope someday to see him waiting for me.Good Luck folks, the pain & rawness does get better & the memories are sweet & worth holding on to & will get you through.

Cynical maybe, but building a wing onto the house gratis & sending a bill for $140 after the fact don't sound within the same character; I'd bet money exchanged hands for the construction of that wing. I once did some work for a woman whose sister had gotten their parents involved in something like this. Daughter #1 lived nearby & Daughter #2 lived out of state. The father had Alzheimer's, & the mother, though fragile herself, took care of him. At some point, #1 talked her parents into building a new home "together" where the parents would have their own wing & #1 could care for them forever. It involved parents deeding their home & acreage to #1. #1 gets a loan, secured by the property, & builds a big brick house in front of parents' little frame house, but, too bad, within just a few months after they close, her parents are suddenly in need of too much care for #1 so she applies for a subsidized nursing home for them. At this point, #2 hears about it for the first time. #2 has been talking to her parents all along, but they have been cautioned to keep all this stuff a secret because #1 told them that #2 "wants to control everything & will put you in a home". #1 was smart to want to keep it a secret. #2 is a banker married to a lawyer. #2 sues for conservatorship & for reimbursement from #1, government denies subsidized care because assets have been transferred to a child within the "look-back" period. #2 has to pay for care for her parents because #1 won't let them stay in *their own house* until litigation is settled, claims it's now hers & she needs to put tenants in it to pay her legal bills; #2 says #1 obtained the house fraudulently & does not have the right to rent it until litigation is settled & unless the court finds that #1 does own it; otherwise, #2, as conservator, should determine what is done with the house, & if it's rented, the rent should go to their parents. By the same token, #1 can't sell the house she's built because there's a cloud on the title due to #2's suit which claims #1 obtained the land it's built on by fraud. At that point, I lost track of the family, don't know how things finally fell into place.

Update: For the past 2 weeks I have been preparing yard and house for Son's Grad Party which took place this past weekend. It was well attended and overall went fairly smooth. My husband decided he couldn't wait anymore and talked to my son about things (without me being present). I was able to talk with son later, he says he "understands" and just wishes I didn't have to go. Have tried to give him opportunity to speak about his feelings My husband has laid on lots of guilt. Underneath it all have been the ugly conversations with my husband. Husband has now informed me that I can't take any of my furniture with me when I leave. "How would our son feel if he came home and (some of) the furniture is gone?" He tells me I can't take a large family painting (that my uncle painted) with me because he would have to paint the wall underneath and that wouldn't be fair. (I'm not joking) The lastest is the surprise vacation that husband reserved back in Feb. I told him all along not to include me in those plans. Now since my son doesn't know that I don't want to go, husband says and I quote "bite the bullet and go." My daughter is also going, so husband says it "still could be fun". However, I know that son and gf will have their own room- I just don't want to be part of that anymore. I feel sick. I confronted husband about the (nude)pictures of gf on the computer. He tells me that he would NEVER do such a thing. He was offended that I would think such horrible things about him. I have proof that he hacked the gf's Facebook account. He went so far as to change the email contact information on her profile, so that everytime she changed her password he was being informed by email. And I am the one who has not been loyal to him, and believes only the worst. Tells me that he has covered my donkey with our son(because I don't come home til 8pm most evenings)and defended me.