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Just lost my mom.....yesterday

16 years ago

Help. My mom, who was only 62, died suddenly yesterday of a heart attack. Her health had not been great but she was on the upswing and was doing wonderful the day before. I'm devastated and in shock and numb all at the same time, if that makes sense. I have my family here(a very small one) and my husband is ver y good about it all, but I need to talk with people who have been thru this. In all my 42 years, this is the first time I've had to deal with a loss this great. My "mommy". The one who bandaged my scrapes and held me when i matter my age. I go between waves of unbearable reality and being strong. My 18 yo daughter was extrememly close to her and I worry about her too. I am an only child so I have no siblings to help with this. I just need to hear from people who can tell me what I'm going thru is normal and that it will be ok. I've been looking for a sign that she's ok, but have yet to see anything. After I woke up crying at 4 am, my husband saw a pinpoint flash of light just outside the bedroom door. I saw it once, but never again. I rolled over on my side and a few seconds later my husband saw a small purple light at the foot of the bed. He's never been too receptive to this kind of stuff, but the goosebumps and standing hair on his arms made it evident he'd seen something that shouldn't have been there. There was nothing in our room that could have caused it. A purple/lavender light. My moms favorite flower was a lilac. I really need some encouragement...I feel like my head(and heart) is going to explode.

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