Gayle, there's really no secret to early training, just a LOT of patience! When I trained my kids I was a stay at home mom. I couldn't have done it without being one. I have gotten a lot of nastiness in forums past my last letter so I haven't been on here. I should think someone should brag if they trained 5 kids early. You'd think I did a terrible sin! I don't know about anyone else on here but having 5 kids is a lot of money for diapers when you don't have it to waste. My first 2 were 11 months apart. 2 babies in bottles and diapers can be very expensive! My first born quit wetting the bed herself by 9 months old!! I noticed that when I got her up in the mornings she was still dry, so when I started training her early it helped a lot that she could control it all night. I just had to make sure to listen for that first sound that meant she was awake and get to her before she woke up all the way. It wasn't easy but if a child is old enough to tell you they have to go they are old enough to be put on a pot! I had better things to spend my time and money on than diapers. A lot of people feel like me, just not a lot of mothers on here I see. Thank goodness my kids feel the same way. Makes it easier to enjoy MY grandchildren!

Marcia, I wasn't attacking you, just saying that it's harder to potty train than I expected. It's true that if they can tell you they have to go, you can rush them to the bathroom. It's when they sneak off in a corner and DON'T tell you that's tough! :)

And who really wants to change (or buy) diapers one day longer than they have to? It's probably the implication that we who have had less success than you did are somehow impatient slackers that riled people up. Do you think we WANT our moms to deal with stinky diapers? Thank God my mom still loves my son, even though he sometimes stinks...

I think it's awful that someone would expect a grandmother to change diapers. The grandmother has already done her job with her own kids. Let the parents be grossed out.

If by the time you get to be a grandparent, doing whatever the situation calls for should be part of the norm. However, since we all have our various levels of intolerance, respect for the wishes and rights of the other should take center stage.

My daughter-in-law is of no real help when hers are sick as she is usually gagging in unison. Going in for the clean up is no problem for me, nor the soiled diapers, sticky hands, or tending to wounds. She wears the rubber gloves to handle washing a clean chicken. I can respect that, it is who she is. But the piper you will truly pay if you come around me wearing cologne or perfume or even a scented soap or deodorant. Then, it's my turn to gag as the migraine starts. My family knows it, and most times they honor it (when they don't, I know it by the kisses they blow at me instead).

No matter how silly a request seems to be, if it matters to that person, then I think it should be honored by those who have been asked. To each his own, quirks and all. Right? Somehow, just being polite and extending the basic courtesies goes a long way in the smoothing department. Requesting out of need, is not the same thing as accusing or laying blame or finding fault. Just be very careful what message you send to your grandchild! Her needs must come before yours.

And, kids will learn to use the potty when it becomes necessary to them. Just like walking, when they saw the need, they did. So much for another thought added to the "pot."

No you are not. I think your daughter-in-law better start training her child, because no nursery or pre-k is going to take a child unless they are trained.I think every child learns at a different age and there really is no contest to see who does it the earliest but she better start soon.

I am a grandmother and my children were trained early, or was it I who was trained? I was a stay at home mom, and was diligent. However, my grandson was past three when he finally decided to use his potty. His mother is a professional and doesn't have the same luxury of staying home as I did.I would never refuse to change his diaper, or to attend to any other need he might have. I love him more than life--dirty diapers or not. He is trained now and has never had an accident. He is also very happy and well adjusted.

I am a grandmother to 7 grandchildren. I am not their mother. I don't decide when they should or should not be toilet trained. I don't want to "raise" the children, just love them. When the children stay with me, I try to follow their parents' schedules for them and respect the parents' rules and regulations. I say "try" because I allow myself enough flexibility to tweak here and there where it's not especially important. I make sure, of course, that I know which matters are important to the parents and which aren't. If dirty diapers gag you to the point of illness, you can't care for your grandchild, of course. If a 3-year-old who isn't toilet trained gags you, however, you need to examine yourself. What possible difference can it make to you beyond having to change a dirty diaper now and then for an extra year or two? If you try too hard to be Mama, you lose out on being Grandma.

As a grandmother of 8 I have no problem changing a diaper or panties if the children are in my care. Care is the important word, and changing a diaper is part of taking care of a child under your supervision. Each child will use the potty at their own pace and to compare one to another or 100 others is just not fair.

No, you aren't wrong. It's your choice. It may mean you can't spend as much time with your grandchild, but hey--it's your decision. IMHO, a child should be at least trying by this age to use the potty. All of mine have--so far. My 19 month old son is starting to ask to sit on the potty now. No going, but asking. It sounds like the parents have bought into this "lazy, let our child TELL us when to train " garbage that is so prevalant now. And no, I am not an older mother. Just one that feels that toilet training is important. Bring on the flames--I am wearing my flame resistant pjs.

Here's another one that does more than just gag with a foul diaper. I threw up many, many times with my own. And it took FOREVER to get one of them trained. And I have thrown up with my grands. Everyone understood that I didn't like to keeping the grandchildren by myself, but I would if I had to. I would lay them on the floor by the toilet and if I threw up, I could manage to let the toilet get the worse of it. Not everyone can handle a nasty diaper. I got to see them as often as possible, but someone else did the dirty work.

I have found that breathing with my mouth open helps some as does breathing though a wet cloth. Putting something like Vicks on the upper lip also cuts the smell. The sight of the diaper triggers the odor memory I guess, because I only have to look and I start gagging.

Now I have acid reflux disease that has severly eroded my esophogus. I don't think that I would risk throwing up.

So don't feel bad about it. They will finally be potty trained. People who are not bothered by the sight or smell do not understand how easy a gag reflex can be. My doctors know not to gag me with a tougue depressor as they might just get spattered. It's bad!! I always tell myself that it won't happen, that I can control it, but it always happens.

Mizzy, this has been posted awhile; has your grand been trained yet?

Now, I'm not bragging but my children trained early. The first because I was sitting for a partially trained child and had a portable pot sitting in the corner of the bathroom. My DD was intrigued and copied the older child. 5 years later, my DS (who also walked at 6 months -- so had amazing muscle control!) wanted so badly to go on the school bus with his older sister! The bus driver was real nice and told him only big boys rode the bus. He took this as not wearing diapers (at 15 months old) pulled it off and wanted to use the pot like big people! It was his motovation, not mine. The bus driver on the last day of school allowed him to ride to the corner on her bus -- she had a safety seat for her own children installed and purposely didn't bring them that day.

I did follow through and enrolled him in an early pre-school program. He needed more instruction than I was capable of giving him at the time.

As for diapers, my mother wanted only clean children left with her. My Dad would change the diapers when necessary. For Bro's kids, she didn't mind. This was more of a personal problem than because of the grands. She has passed now and the kids still occasionally say "Why didn't she like us?" So, Mizzy, is a diaper worth your grands remembering you like that? (Which is why I put in all the education info, my kids are smart, they can see past the surface. And, I refused to cover up. I would tell them to ask Grandmother why she didn't stop at our house when traveling past to visit the other grands -- even missing birthdays to travel to the others!) But, like I said, this is another type of problem.

Mizzy, the fact that you posted this question tells me that you personally have some doubts. Yes, again, I say, "change your gandchild". As a grandmother of two, I can't even imagine considering otherwise.

Hey Grandma---

Think of it this way---

One day, you may have to wear diapers, and be dependent on other people to care for you.

How would you feel, helpless in your situation, to have people refuse to change YOUR diaper---after all--you're an adult for goodness sake and YOU can't even use the restroom properly???

The child wears diapers? So what. The next time you gag, or refuse, or vomit...remember--what comes around goes around.

There is nothing wrong with a two-and-a-half-year-old still wearing diapers. It is totally NORMAL. Most kids don't learn to use the potty until age 3+. I think it's just terrible when parents "train" their toddlers to use the potty before they are ready. Children should be taught to use the potty when they are good and ready.

I cannot understand how a parent could find it 'appalling' that a child under the age of 3 is still wearing diapers.
Also, how it can be'awful' for someone to expect a Grandparent to change diapers? Be grateful that you have healthy grandchildren!!

Here's a suggestion that no one mentioned. Why not buy some pull ups and make a big deal out of the child wearing them and being so grown up. Some change colors when they are wet & help the child know when to run for the potty. Let the child pick out their own design. Once my grandchild started wearing pull ups instead of diapers training was easy.

Wow, what postings. If I even suspected that my mother was disgusted by doing anything for my daughter I would make sure that my mother never had to change a diaper. I would also make sure that I was there during any visits to make sure she handled that situation well. (I would never want someone telling my daughter that a diaper was digusting or something.)

My mother LOVES to "hog" her grandchild and will fight my dad tooth and nail to get to hold her. When the grandparents are visiting, I am often told to "get out of the house" so they can play. She may hate diapers (who really enjoys them -- ever?) but it is her granddaughter and I don't think the smelliest diaper or the latest potty training would make her disgusted with anything my daughter does. *I* may get in trouble but it is more for things that make my daughter sort of clingly (she sleeeps with us a lot and still breastfeeds and STRONGLY prefers breast to any bottle.) But my mom just issues "warnings" and just once. She never nags.

My mother and MIL are not servants but if they want to play with the grandkid, I think they expect to take the good with the bad and some of the bad may be different views from the parents.

Okay, here we go. I have heard everything about potty training from the age of 16-48 months.

I provide childcare in my home and have seen it all, but ther is one thing i can tell you, The child will train when they are ready. As for me, my daughter 16 months, and it took three days for day time, but almost a month for night, that was a harder one. I work hard with my kids, and I have learned it has nothing to do with how the child is disaplend, it is just when they are ready. If your grandaughter aint ready, it is a waist of time.

For instance I have potty trained alot of kids that aren't mine. I currently have a 1-1/2 y/o boy and 32 month old girl in my home potty training. They both are at the same level, and in tow different homes. The parents of the girl have been trying for over a year and a half to no avail, but one day a couple weeks ago she told me she ready and has been doing great.

It is odd, we think we are teaching the kids something, but we are really teaching ourselves patients. I think that if a child is in school they should be trained. Yes accidents will happen, but they are trained.

Also you have to realize with your grandaughter, is she an only child, does she go to day care. I have noticed that the best teachers are other children. They always have to do what ever everyone else is doing.

Sit back and relax and enjoy your grandaughter. Soon enough she will not be interested in you anyway, it will be boys, make-up, and jewelry, so cherrish what you have and get some nose plugs.

OMG, YES YOU ARE WRONG

This whole line of thought just makes me sick! What are you people thinking? I am not a grandmother, but I do have 3 kids. The youngest of which just turned 2 and is not potty trained. I want her out of diapers but I don't consider it appalling that she's still in them. I have never given a second thought to weather or not my Mom or either of her other grandparents would or wouldn't want to change them, and I can't imagine any of them having a problem with it. She's 2. She has lived a grand whoppin' total of 2 years. She has learned TONS of things since the day she was born helpless and not potty trained. I get excited about every little accomplishment but I refuse to compare her to anyones elses standards of good or bad when it comes to mile stones.
Grandchildren are FAMILY. You do what you have to for your family. I am already looking forward to my grandchildren and my kids aren't grown yet. I will change dirty diapers as fast a my grandkids can make them! And you know what else, when my mom or my husbands mom is old and feeble and can't care for themselves anymore, I will be there changing their dirty diapers. Not because I like it, but because that is what you do for the people you love.
What are you teaching your children and grandchildren about unconditional love Mizzy... I hope for your sake they don't follow your lead when your the one in need.

Well said Stephanie

Yes you are wrong...for many reasons

I was just glancing through this site looking for a name that my child can call my mother's new husband without offense when I happened upon this page.
From my perspective, as a leader in a church nursury, ages 2-3yrs old, when a child comes in, closer to 3 than 2, and still is not potty trained, it gets one to wondering what goes on at home that the child does not even let you know when they are wet or messy. With one leader and six or seven children, having to take time out to check for soiled diapers, then change them, is time away from watching the other children that one cannot afford.
I do understand that working parents don't have the luxury of being able to remain 'on guard' to do the training all the time, but even a one-year-old knows the word "NO". If a child can tell you they want a "juice", they can tell you they have to "pee", or "potty". Mental illness, or disability aside, an almost 3yr old should be able to tell you that they have to "potty", or go themselves.
If a child rejoices when they can walk across the room by themselves, why not give them the same satisfaction of being able to go "potty" by themselves. The feeling of accomplishing something on their own will far outweigh any frustrations, or accidents they may have, while training.
And if the parents have started training, the same methods should be continued on by the caregiver, whether a relative, or non-relative. But, no training at all, for that age, seems negligent and disrespectful towards those who have been asked to watch over these children. I'd much rather play hide-and-seek with a 3yr old, than change a poopy diaper.

Sherri:

You are wrong.

There are very few one year olds that are toilet trained, a few more two year olds. Most kids train around 3. That means it is perfectly normal for a 3 year old not to be trained yet. My three kids 3.5, 3, 2.5. It has more to do with the child's readiness for training than parental involvement. They were all exposed to the potty and what it was for at the same age and in the same manner, they just responded differently because they are different people.

Rather than being disrespectful to NOT train a 2 year old, I see it as disrespectfull to FORCE a child to train who is not ready. It is disrespectful to ignore the developmental needs of a child just because you find it unpleasant to change a poopy diaper (who doesn't?).

If you do not like changing poopy diapers then don't work with toddlers.

To the OP:

If you don't want to change poopy diapers then don't. But when you look back and wonder why you don't have a great relationship with your grandaughter don't discount this as a reason. If you stop seeing her because of this issue (she will eventually be trained) the relationship will be forever altered. She is 2. I will bet she will be trained in the next 9-12 months. .

Mommabear

Yes you are wrong!!! As a grandma and daily caregiver of twin granddaughters I can't imagine not changing a messy diaper when needed. Don't you understand how sore their little bottom gets if you let them stay in a poopy or wet diapers? My daughter-in-law asked for my help in ideas on the best way to get this training done. She got them started and tried everything when they were 2 1/2. Nothing seemed to work for her. I told her if she would let me I
would Let them run a round the house with a bare butt. The
very first time they had to pee and it ran done their legs the look on their face, Well lets just say it was all I could do to keep from laughing. I just said oops, I guess you need to get on the potty. Left them bare for the rest of the day and they ran to the potty everytime they had to go pee or poop. They were potty trained from that day forward. BUT I will add that they had been dry at night for months, and what works for one may not work for another.
Not be with my ganddaughters becouse of a messy diaper or stinky smell or dirty face. NO way!!! They are my heart!!!

She is sick to her stomach....OH MY God...
Does she really want to babysit????
All the cute things go along with
CHANGING THOSE DIRTY DIAPERS!!!!!!

I really cant believe that post...so it smells a little but thats your Grandchild....I babysat for 5 of my grandchildren & I couldnt bear to have them stay in their dirty diaper more than one minute..somehow the smell of my grandchildren isnt so bad...they are MINE..MY GRANDCHILDREN.
Actually I have to chase the almost 3 yr old to change him. Oh Well, I hope her attitude changes or else she should not babysit. Enough said.
Bev

Sherri - I am so glad I don't attend your church, if that's all it takes to make you wonder what goes on in a home! I have known many kids from wonderful homes that haven't potty trained until they were 3 years old.

Sorry to post again, but just wanted to add - regarding the post from the church nursery leader above -

I was the nursery coordinator at my church, and we were happy to change the diapers of any children in our care. If we knew a diaper was wet or dirty, we changed the diaper. We also did a diaper check midway through the hour, then checked again towards the end of the service to be sure everyone was clean before their parents picked them up. The family of the little one might be going out to eat, or they might live a long drive from the church, we wanted to make sure the little ones belonging to our church family were comfy and clean.

There were quite a few older twos and some younger threes not potty trained yet, and we enjoyed those little ones and were happy to have them in our nursery, as part of our church family, and we didn't think twice about whether or not they were potty trained. We kept enough volunteers who loved children in there so that we were able to take good care of our little ones, including diaper changes.

As far as the original post goes, whether or not to change dirty diapers is her decision. I like Jo above's post, mutual respect and consideration is the key to good family relationships. If my own mother had something like GERD, and vomited, then I wouldn't want her to change a stinky diaper. The vomiting would not be good for her erroding esophagus.

However, for any grandparents or parents who might be thinking of bringing a diaper-wearing 2 or 3 year old to the church nursery, every church I've been a part of would welcome your little one and be happy to change his or her diaper, it's a part of working with these little ones that are loved so very much by their creator.

You can't assume that just because a child is 3 and not trained, that there is something wrong with their home life or the parents' parenting.

My ds wasn't trained until after he turned 3. I'm a stay-at-home-mom and certainly have the time to put into it but because ds was dealing on and off with chronic constipation from the age of 1, getting him to do a #2 on the potty had to be put off. I was too busy trying to get him to make a #2 in the first place (he was so terrified of bowel movements, he'd try to hold them in and would cry).

There is no way I'd subject him to the added stress of learning to do it in the potty. Once the constipation was taken care of and he'd had enough oppportunity to have several months' worth of painless poops, we tried potty training for #2's, and he did it with only 1 accident.

Now he's 4 1/2 and again, I've been treating him for constipation (no problems with using the potty though). I would just hate for someone to think "OMG, I can't believe Cidalia's ds wasn't trained until after 3" 'cause they don't know what we were dealing with.

Some babies DO train early (my mom says I did and without much effort on her part), but for others it's more difficult (my brothers took longer).

Sometimes, when you hear about so-and-so who had all 6 trained by the age of 1, it turns out that the kids weren't trained at all - it was mommy who was trained and watched them like a hawk and rushed them to the potty at the first hint of a need to go or when it was "time to go", like if the child usually went after breakfast. But many of these kids were not able to actually ask to go on their own.

I totally agree with Cidalia's post.

I am a Nana of a beautiful 16 month old little boy. As someone above said, I can not imagine not wanting to change his diaper. He was a special gift to our daughter and son-in-law and has brought such joy to our family. I am honored by every minute I get to be with him.

Please cherish every moment with your grandchild. Any time spent with a grandchild is time well. We teach them; however, they have so much to re-teach us, like tolerance of everyone.

Boy! This post sure brought in a lot of controversy, didn't it? LOL Can't really say if you're right or wrong without more facts. However, it does bring to mind a story: when my granddaughter (now 5) was in diapers and very small I would get her down to change her diapers and say, "Whew! Girl! You're radioactive!" LOL This was, of course, said in an exaggerated voice with gestures of waving my hand in front of my nose, etc. When
she first started talking she would lie down for me to change her and go, "Whew! 'Active!" LOL

Hi, i have one grandson 1 year old and of course he hasn't started to be trained as yet (just turned 1) but his mum is going to start him after Xmas - i mind him and after being married 40years and my husband is 70 and i am 60 i can tell you that no smell on earth would ever stop me minding him. Put a mask on and put perfume on it and enjoy every waking moment you have that child to mind and count your blessings. 0n a lighter note my sister has had 9 grandchildren aged from 18 to 3 months and i don't think she has ever changed one of them.

I don't know how I came across this thread, but it reminded me of a conversation I had with my MIL this weekend. She also told her daughter she would refuse to change poopy diapers - but rather than let the kid sit in it, will make her use the toilet, which she does. Of course, this kid is 3 1/2, 50+ pounds, and not toilet trained - the mother just thinks "it will happen on its own" and makes no effort. Good grief! So I guess it depends on the circumstances.

I'm a grandmother of 8.I've changed each and every one of them hundreds of times.I can appreciate it if you have a weak stomach,but children are not all carbon copies of each other.some train early,walk late talk early etc etc.In my opinion children let you know in thier own way when they are ready to be trained.All 4 of my own children trained at different ages.Maybe you shouldn't babysit for awhile if it really affects your health.If you have a great relationship with the childs parents,they should understand.Good luck.

I love mine so much that I'd do anything for them...including changing their diapers...that would never stop me from seeing them or being with them...our youngest is going to be three in September...he's not potty trained yet, but he's thinking about it...it's fine with me....

I bet Op does not have this problem anymore, based on the date of the first post! It is so funny how worked up all these people get about potty-training. For heaven's sake, folks: they are toddlers. Figure out wheat works for your own kids and try not to look down on anyone who has done it differently. I teach 2 1/2-3 year olds in our preschool, and more than 50-60% are NOT trained yeat. Who cares? They will all get it in the next year or so. We don't mind changing a few diapers. (I also have 2 in diapers at my house, my 6 monmth old and my 2 yr old.)

Despite all the condemnation you've endured by the OhSoSuperior among us here, I'm on your side Mizzi. You raised your kids. You changed their diapers. If you don't want to go back to that: DON'T! I don't change diapers either. Been there done that with 5 kids, and my diaper days are over. You are the one who gets to chose how much and what type involvement you want to have with your grandchildren. If the parents can't handle that, it's their problem.
j

I agree, it's fine for Mizzy to see her grandson only when one of his parents is available to change his diaper.

As for the potty training, all but the parents must keep their opinions to themselves, unless asked. Besides, average range of potty training is 2-4, and virtually no kid goes to kindergarten in diapers. No big deal.

Babies eventually stop using their diapers of course, but that doesn't work for me. From my experience, the longer you keep them in diapers the longer they will stay in diapers. As soon as mine used the toilet one time or showed signs of using one, when one night went by without a baby wetting the bed. I took them out of diapers. The child can then see what an awful mess they were making. They may not mind a messy diaper, but they won't like it runing down their legs or like laying in it at night. There were 13 babies in the family when mine were small and one of my sister's kept hers in diapers and in towels at night. Hers were the last in the family to be potty trained.

Reading this post has given me a good laugh. It amazes me how people love to brag about how early their child/grandchild was potty trained. Who really cares? Early or late, it's gonna happen, even if no one offers training. You want to brag? Tell me about how sweet your grandbaby is, how precious they are. As somebody else said, they are learning so many new things every day, and it's heart-melting just to be there to witness my grandchild's physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental growth. He is a sweet, caring gentle human being (now that's something to brag about). Change a diaper? Of course. And as another poster said, "He's family". I would change my husband's diaper if the need arose, or my mother's. I'm sure it would gag me, but I WOULD do it. But again, as someone else said, "That is my choice". Even though my choice is different that Mizzy's, I don't judge her for it. She has the right to choose for herself, even though her choice may limit her time to enjoy her grandchild. They're only small for a short time and I don't want to miss a moment of it.

My oldest granddaughter is four and still isn't potty trained. She will say, "I poopy," in a chirpy voice and then lay down to be changed. I love her to pieces but good grief!!!

Sometimes the lack of potty training reflects lazy parenting. Not saying it's the case for anyone here, but it is in my daughters case. (She also sees nothing wrong with sleeping in and letting her toddlers roam the house.) Very hard for grandmothers to deal with. So, I understand where Mizzy is coming from.

How i wish my grandbabies were closer so that I could do things with them,including change their diapers.
They all spent the holidays with me and two were in diapers...lots of changes,but it's all a part og grandparenting..along with the sticky kisses and hugs,cookie making(messy) and bedtime stories.

There are grandparents and then there are GRANDPARENTS!

Eliza ann

Rosieo, Our daughter in law did that. One time we were over there to visit and she said one of the boys got up and tried to make coffee while she was asleep. He put the pot on the gas burner and turned it on. thank goodness for pilot lights or they would have gassed themselves and her. One of the boys wanted us to see his bedroom and it reeked of urine. They wet the bed and she didn't bother to change it, they slept in it the next night.

I think all children are different,as so some will pottey trian sooner and easier.But, it sounds like her parents aren't trying to help her along the path to doing so. I have 2 girls how did very good.And,my sister had 2 sons the youngest didn't get out of diapers til about 5years old.... that is crazy! My sister didn't work hard on his training(for being lazy) He was very capable of going to the bathroom he wasn't made to go,so he didn't.I was babysitting him during this and I didn't like cleaning him for something he was well older enough to control...and I did punish him.But lazy parents usually have lazy kids.

Guess you have had lots of advice, and maybe I am not one to really be giving any, I always thought it an honor to be able to take care of my little ones in whatever capacity I could. Two of my gc were at least 3 before they were potty trained, and of couse afterwards there are some accidents, little guys can't help it. I always put myself in the place of the child, if they are acting up, what is really going on. Love, love and more love comes from this granny. I take care of my 2 youngest one day a week at the most, my littlest was born in Dec at 2 lbs, she is doing fine, we are so thankful for her. Bless you, because if you have health issues of your own, that is a different thing going on, you probably just don't feel like babysitting period. Ladieg

My grandson is 4 years old, autistic and not potty trained yet. Yes, I change his diapers. Lynn

I thought I was in the Twilight Zone as I checked the dates. Yeah, this is old. There will always be toilet training. When my girls were little my step mother was always pushing for toilet training to the point it bacame pure hell on all three of us. My girls did learn but I think they would have come around without her forcing them to sit there for hours at a time. My son who is 16 years younger than my youngest daughter, was potty trained at four. Once he got it no accidents. Peeing at two in the toilet...fire hose style. But determined to do the other in a diaper. I left him naked one day and said don't go on the floor. He went in the toilet from then on. Still had to have help wiping at seven. By then it was sorry son, got to do it yourself. I don't think pushing is the answer ,having done it both ways. They learn when they learn.

Mizzy
I gotta tell you, that it's not you. The book said at 1 year old to start putting them on the potty, sometimes they take to it right away, sometimes they don't. I was lucky my daughter took to it right away & a couple of weeks after her first birthday she was completely potty trained. The granddaughter who my husband & I have mostly raised finally potty trained at about two & 1/2 years old. My daughter also has a boy who at three & 1/2 years old & already weighs in at more than half of what I weigh. (fifty some pounds) He isn't potty trained, I have never seen a child poopy as large a mess as he does. It smells worse than my poor German Shepherd when she had myelopathy. So cleaning up is not new to me, but this gags me & I almost throw up every time, so I can relate. You're not wrong, you're daughter in law & son are lazy. And so is my daughter.

There is more to this lady's lamenting than not wanting to change her grand's diaper. The child is not being taught many things and is no fun to be around. Enough of this sentimental stuff. This lady is being handed a big guilt trip. I'll bet she stopped reading these posts.

As for the lady in the church thingy. I know her kind. I'll bet lots of us do. She's a wonderful person and judgemental too. She needs help in the nursery--but no one wants to be in there. Those are the sweet, sweet, wonderful church ladies. Gag me.

Give me a break with all those wonderful stay-at-home mom's and all of their saintly accomplishments. Right!

I'll take a lady with dishes in the sink, and a 'to-do' list that hangs around forever, has fruit gnats hanging out in her kitchen, a sprinkler hose flooding the whole back yard, not a cute outfit to her name, and the little ones telling her, 'granma, if you were my age you would be my best friend' and 'can I have some more pancakes?'

This lady needs to resolve how she is going to adapt herself to the fact that her children don't think like she thinks.

23 years ago. I know I read this back then when I was a teenager. I hope this lady is dead by now though.