Tough one! My son (34) had bi-polar disorder and ADD, he can be very abusive, loud, and disruptive when not on medications. When on his meds, he's the nicest guy you'd ever want to meet. Being on the "Mom" side of the issue, I can say that Mom's have to set boundries, absolutely No gray areas. No visits unless he is on his medications, any abusive behavior towards spouse will not be tolerated! No name calling, etc. Mom needs to wise up. If she continually allows SS to cause chaos when he comes, the behavior will only escalate, and SS will continue to control the hosuehold and your marriage. The worst thing Mom's can do for their mentally ill kids, is accept bad or destructive behavior. They will never learn to interact with society if this continues. My son learned the hard way, destructive behavior in my home, got him arrested. Yes, I did have him arrested. A number of times, he needed to suffer the consequences of his behavior in order to grow, become more responsible, and to function in society. These kids can take control of their illnesses, but why should they if Mommy is always going to protect them, and clean up after them. Bad move, it does nothing to help them become adults. My son has spent time in jail, paid large fines, and had been on probation. Best thing that could have happened to him. He's doing so much better now, acting normally, appropriate, much more responsible, and most importantly not blaming everyone else for his unacceptable behavior. My H is very cruel to him at times, name calling, (when he's symptomatic) this rips your heart out. H is an walking rectum. Horrible names, yet I insist that my son treat him with respect, or get out. No punches pulled. It's for his own good. Mom needs to demonstrate a united front with you. Or SS will continue to reek havoc in the home. Eventually her son will end up in trouble as he gets older bad behavior is not tolerated by law enforcement or society. Mom needs to know that you care about her son, (that is so very important) that you want her son to live a happy and well adjusted life, and her inability to recognize she is not helping him in the least by denying the behavior is going to result in much more pain and suffering for her son. Tell her she needs to look at it from a different perspective, be honest and ask herself, what would she tell a friend to do if they had these circumstances. She needs to work with a therapist, I did for 7 years. Mom's notoriously feel responsible for disturbed kids, I always wondered what did I do wrong? It isn't my fault that my son is ill, it's genetic, there are three bi-polar kids in the family, two have done jail time. My son is the sickest. Yet, he's managed to get his act together and is living a much more productive life. Only because I will not go along with the behavior. I use to, and it was a nightmare, what a horrible existence that was. My son was a cruel, abusive, irresponsible jerk. When I changed MY BEHAVIOR, it was like night and day. H doesn't interact with him too often, but my son treats him with respect, kindness and thoughtfulness. He is no longer threatened that my H is going to "take me away from him." Which can be the reason he is acting out in your home. Fear of abandonment. Let your wife know that you want to see her son happy and well-adjusted, and that you want to support him in any way you can, but you are helpless to do anything if one or both of you remain in denial. Also, tell her how denial can hurt him in the long run. Suggest attending therapy together, and by all means, do not attack her son, Mom's tend to be very protective of their ill children. They (mom) needs support and understanding, even when they are doing it wrong. My H threatened to shoot my son! My son would never hurt anyone, but that's what I had to fear, he even asked a deputy sheriff, if he had the "right to defend himself?" Which is absurd, telling a Mom that "I'll shoot the f-----," is a horrible thing to say. Not to mention ignorant. I resent my H for saying things like this. Not to mention fear for my son's well-being. Good luck and hang in there, it is difficult to change Mom's behavior, she has to do that. Keep in mind, she can change, however, she needs to see how her denial and accomodations of her sons behavior is hurting him as well as your marriage.

Thank you all again for your helpful comments and encouragement! We really appreciate it! Well, here is the latest attempt from absentee BioDad (still no home, lives in an RV in FL) to convince our 16 year old daughter to move down and live with him. And believe me, I am not making this up! Here goes. BioDad calls our daughter this weekend and explains to her that Washington, DC is under an immediate threat to have a nuclear explosion set off in the next few months from terrorists, and that all "muslims" have been told to leave the area. He tells our daughter that she will be dead in a few months if she does not get "out of the DC area." Daughter is now very upset and says that "she does not want to die" and must get out of the area. She did not get any school work or homework done in the last few days because she is so upset about the coming attack on our metro area. We have explained carefully and patiently to our daughter that no attack is coming, no news has been either on TV or in print warning about this supposed "attack" and we have watched the local news with her. We have reassured her that we see no people leaving the area and she is safe. Daughter argues with us and says that we cannot really know what is coming and that she loves her "Dad" and believes him. She has a "kid-buddy" style of conversation every time with BioDad on the phone and, except being put totally in a panic over this warning from him, daughter says she can "talk openly" to BioDad about anything. We, as her parents, are not given such open communication opportunities with her since we are actually her parents, after all. How in the world does one handle this crazy manipulation of our daughter from her BioFather? We feel that if we let daughter move down with BioDad she will be unsupervised and get into all kinds of trouble, and possibly abused, who knows? Daughter's attitude towards me as her stepfather is to simply ignore me, and she fights often with her mother who is being very patient and open with her concerning all of the real facts of a move, and how it makes no sense given all of the fantasy involved. It is so painful to watch my stepdaughter get this weird emotional manipulation from her BioFather, when we all know it is just a fantasy he is building within her about how "great" her life will be living with him providing all of the "toys" and country club home that he does not have. I have never faced a situation like this. Telling BioDad to "stop it" or "back off" does not work, it simply fuels his anger and motivation to continue with whatever he is doing. I do not think our daughter will run away, however who knows? Daughter's academic performance is suffering due to her reactions to this move stuff, and she is just developing an increasing negative attitude in general in our home. We have offered counseling to her, and she says "no way!" I would really appreciate some level headed opinions as to what we might do to get through this. All I want is our daughter to be happy, successful, and to feel that she is truly loved. Thanks for your comments.

Jericson, You have hundreds of photos in this post that it takes forever to download. And while it's downloading the texts/media are jumping around trying to settle in, I guess. Although I enjoy your pictures, I am afraid of crashing my computer (don't think it would). So would you kindly create a Part II or something to this post? I'm not asking only for my own convenience, maybe others are having the same issues? Again, I enjoy your pictures. But in the time it takes to download this post, I could have transplanted an adenium or two. :laugh:

Gardengirl12 - I am 48 and expanding my garden so don't hesitate to move forward. We all have our good days and better days. The only bad days are those days on which we allow ourselves to second guess our dreams, our plans and our ability to carry those out! I come from many generations of market gardeners (different styles, different relatives) so it is definitely in my blood lol. My parents are currently aged 72 and 74 and they continue to successfully operate a CSA and market garden, subsidized with specialty jams, jellies and baked goods. Figuring out what specifically are good sellers in your area is very vital, however; this takes time and so just plan for that. Keep your expectations low enough that you won't be discouraged and can maintain a positive view as your business grows. Write down achievable goals for each of the next 3 seasons. Keep DETAILED notes on both successes and failures so that you can build from them each year. Every gardener is unique in their technique, needs, abilities and market area so having a bunch of folks looking over a business plan which is developed specifically for you is not worth bothering with. Only you truly know what you are capable of doing physically, mentally and emotionally to bring your dreams to reality. Most populated areas have some sort of farmers market already established. If you have not already done so, take the time to visit EVERY TIME it is open to study what others are successfully selling. Make notes on what types sell the best, what seems to just sit there and get tossed out at the end of the day. Also take note if the majority of the sellers seem to carry "value added" products such as soaps, jams, wool, eggs etc to make up a portion of their sales. If there is a well established specialty vendor such as "Tomato Lady", I would plan to grow and sell something different as my main source of income. You can always introduce a specialty item similar down the road but focus on developing your own following and avoid disappointment from trying to directly compete with someone who is already well established. As you are developing your sales plan, keep in mind that the majority of your first customers are going to be those whom you already know. Just putting yourself and your product out there is not enough to sell the amount you will need to earn a profit. I am not a big believer in local chambers etc and I refuse to pay dues to be a "part of the community business network" in which I live. Consider ways to effectively advertise for yourself at either no cost or low cost. Keep in mind that ANY cost is going to effect your bottom line even if it is only a penny for the ink that printed you those 50 copies on your home computer. Stay detail oriented so that in the future you can truly see where things can be changed to be better financially as you grow the business. Don't try to be everything to everyone! EVER! You will ALWAYS have someone asking for something that you don't have. Don't fall into the trap of trying to provide it all because the time and product it takes you to grow "just 2" of something special, is time and product which is taken away from what you have developed well already. If you continuously receive requests by more than a dozen customers for a new item, then consider it a possibility for a "limited time only" product. EG - I don't grow zucchini because every Grandma and her neighbor does. However; IF I kept getting requests from more than a dozen of my REGULAR customers, I would consider growing enough just to serve them. I don't see that happening anytime soon though as my market really supports the "unusual" versus the "ordinary". I could go on and on lol yet I have winter sowing to get done. I hope you do well with your adventure and I truly mean that... it IS an adventure!