If she is two and a half years old and enjoys you when it's just the two of you, then I wouldn't worry about it right now. You say she is sweet and loving with everyone but you. Do you mean that as long as it's just the two of you, she's sweet and loving to you but not when others are there? Or do you mean that she treats you dramatically different all the time?

If this was happening to me, I'd first try to picture things from her point of view and try to figure out if I was doing something she doesn't like. Sometimes it can be odd things with little ones.

But who they like best when they are little and who they like best as they get older are sometimes not the same. Out of all the family, my husband was my daughter's least favorite when she was little. Clearly. But now she is a college student and her dad is clearly her favorite. If she doesn't gel with you now, she may enjoy your company when she's older.

Also sometimes the things that look like drawbacks when they are little turn out to be strengths. Do you think your little granddaughter is a people person and likes to be around other people because she likes "new" people, or people that aren't quite as familiar? If so, she may turn out to be a friendly, outgoing adult who reaches out to others easily. I have often seen toddlers who enjoyed engaging with someone "new".

I do kind of understand where you're coming from. My son would always let me play with him when he was a toddler and preschooler. He would tell me all about how his blocks were set up and whatever plot line he had going on in his fantasy play world. My daughter always looked at me like "leave me alone" when I tried to play with her. She'd play with my mom, but not with me. But moms have a special role in their daughters' lives, and even if my toddler daughter wouldn't play Barbies or color with me, my grown daughter and I have special things we do together.

Grandmas have a special place in their granddaughters' lives, too. If you keep trying, over the years you will find special things you like to do together. Don't give up. When my daughter was a preschooler one of the few things she liked to do with me was get ice cream. She wouldn't talk much, so we'd just sit there in silence on the curb and lick our ice creams. It hurt, because if I had been there with just my son we would have been chattering away the whole time. But my daughter still remembers us getting ice cream just the two of us every Friday after preschool as a special time. So try to relax and not worry. Just enjoy your granddaughter on her terms. It will work out fine.

Thanks so much for this, great insight and very comforting. Hopefully we can get closer as she gets older. I certainly won't give up!

I went thru this and I make it a point to NOT let it upset me with my GGD. For about 2 years she did not have much to do with me, just her grandma. Both my dd and GD tried different things, then when she turned about 3 1/2 she wanted me to read to her? color with her? etc Didn't do anything different, Her little sister has a different personalility--so we will see.
The main thing, is not to let yourself get upset. Just go on with your regular schedule and activities.

Bottom line is that kids really don't remember much before the age of 4 yrs. If it is important to you ---- and if it really is, you can get to know your grandkids later.

she's picking up your anxiety without knowing it and maybe that's why she's shying away from you. Children sense things. try not to rush things. Keep normal and maybe distract your self with other things to do around you. When she realizes she's not the center of your attention, she might just start gravitating towards you. Play hard to get..

Can I relate! I consider myself a very involved Grandma and visit my DD every other week staying 3-4 days and interacting w/the kids(2). A couple of weeks ago my almost 5 year old GD said to me, 'you're mean and nasty'. DD and I had a little disagreement re:the kids dinnertime manners, and DD and I feel she sees this as G'ma being mean to mommy. It happened again this week. She asked me to go upstairs and play princess w/her, which I did, and after about 1/2 hour, decided to watch cartoons. We were sitting on the sofa and she leaned in, looked me in the eye and said, 'i hate your make up, your hair styles, and your clothes'. She got up immediately and walked downstairs, and I just sat there dumbfounded and shocked. When I finally got up, I walked downstairs and relayed what GD had said, to which DD was equally shocked. DD feels she could be jealous of our time together, or is still upset and remembering our disagreement.

DD also told me GD has made comments to her MIL~you're fat, your hair is ugly, the same comments which are also personal 'attacks'.

She's told DD she hates her, or she hates her clothes, and also that she hates her brother. I think these remarks toward her family are normal, but not the comments toward the Grandmothers. Any answers?

Sometimes kids want to know other people. Especially adults. Are you always dressed up with lots of jewelry and nice clothes? She may think that she might make you dirty. Wear casual clothes around the little ones. I'm guessing by now she must be around 5. Going to school. Bake cookies with her one of my grandsons told me the other day Grandma do you remember when we baked chocolate chip cookies from scratch? Today he is 25. He remembered. I had forgotten. I guess its time to make cookies.

Hi, I read your post about your grand daughter and let me tell ya, I am experiencing the same thing with my almost 4 year grand daughter. Her and her sister are so adorable and a joy to be around but it still huts when they dont want ya. I feel your pain.

My youngest granddaughter has started doing this with me. I went with her Mum , my daughter, to collect her from school, she is 4years old so she jusr started in September. I hadn’t been to collect her before as she told her Mum she didn’t want anyone else to come to her school! However, She said two days ago that I was ‘allowed’ to come there. But when she came out she looked so annoyed that I was there and totally ignored me and would only speak to her mother. She has two much older sisters and is quite spoiled to an extent as to her parents giving in to her . Sadly her other Nanny passed away in April last year. I am so upset that my granddaughter acts like this with me, as when she was at nursery, she let me collect her and was fine with me. I’ve decided not to go to her school with her Mum until she asks me. I felt awful in front of the other people in the school as her behaviour was as if she just couldn’t stand me. She completely ignored me when I asked her if she’d had a good day. I have taken her out and about during the holidays, to a zoo and here there and everywhere.

My mother used to display a 'groveling' type behaviour when dealing with my then very young daughter. I asked her not to do this. not to display outwardly her upsets - because it will make her look weak before my child. My mother would openly complain to me in front of my child, that the child wasn't obeying her or listening to her, etc.. That's a weakness. She should have been very clear to my child as to show who is the boss. Now some children are much more open and likeable. Be nice to them and they are nice to you. But some are just not that way. Those types of personality requires a firmer approach.

Children can be very smart and take advantage when they see someone as weak. Sure enough that started happening. My daughter wasn't respecting my mother.

--- You can avoid all that when you show strength and pay less attention toward the child's feelings. Of course that doesn't mean ignore the child. Set the rules firmly and do not show your upsets towards her. She has to earn your respect in order to be rewarded by your attention. Its probably a play hard to get way but in the end the child will respect you and love you more.

I think all the responses are on the mark. Something else occurred to me. Maybe she likes spending time with her grandma but it also means she has to leave her mother or her brothers and sisters. Could she be associating grandma with having to leave home?

I have the problem of living in the same town and the other grandma living far away. When the other grandma comes, my granddaughter does not want anything to do with me. She stayed with them for a month and will be spending two more months with them. Ever since that has happened, my granddaughter does not want to come to my house. She doesn’t even want me to pick her up from her day care. ( she just turned 3).

It is hurtful. I don’t have to be on top of the totem pole but I’d like to at least still be on it even if it’s at the bottom.

Because I’m in the same town, it seems very awkward. When other gma comes, she orders packages every day for to be delivered to her house. I don’t do that nor do I have the income for it and I’m not the type to buy love.

So... I’m trying to accept things I can’t change but it’s hard.

Very broken grandma.

Perhaps you could try being the "doing fun things" grandma- bake cookies and generally teach your GD to cook simple things, do craft activities etc. In the long run she will appreciate time spent over money spent.

Well eff the little brat then!

what does mom and dad think of this?

Well, since the kid is now 13 years old thing have probably changed .....

Going through the same with my 2 year old granddaughter. its awful

Me too im so sad i cant take no more honestlly the rejection is killing me

It may well just be a phase. My GS had a period when he only wanted cuddles from the men in the family (including not his mother). It didn't last long.

Going through the same thing, except my granddaughter is 8 years old. She was adorable until about 2 years ago and then all of a sudden she calls me old and ugly even disgusting. The other day she told me she wouldn't go to my funerals when I die. Yesterday she told me flat out that she didn't like me. No idea where all this come from. I look after her most weekends. Nothing has changed in our routine. We go out to fun places, I only make her food she likes, my time is entirety devoted to her when she is a my house. She also shows no concern or empathy to others but she is literally going out of her way to hurt me. Not sure t to do or what to think. It hurst is all I can say.

In that situation I would not be giving up my weekends to be treated poorly by a brat. Let her parents know that when she decides to be nice you’ll be happy to babysit but until then you’re not interested in being insulted in your own home.