Other Grandma Favored
maribeth
13 years ago
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13 years agomarie_ndcal
13 years agoRelated Discussions
Eulogy - Grandma's passing
Comments (15)Your grandma was born in the same year as my mother. Your eulogy was lovely and loving. It certainly offered us a glimpse into the heart of the person your grandmother was. Thank you for sharing her with us. Grandparents are very special treasures and I agree with mtn-lucky you and lucky her. It is always okay to cry because it's over, but remember also to smile because it happened....See MoreAttention: Grandmas. Need ideas for little ones
Comments (13)You mentioned a fort with the blankets, we did/do the "boat" thing sometimes for a nap but most of the time for bedtime. The kids all love it and even my kids still talk about the adventures we used to go on. It was our time to wind down and we did it most weekends, especially in nasty weather. The boat got supplied with books, snacks, flashlights, favorite toy and blankies, and a plastic placemat map that I had found. They would close their eyes and pick a place. Off we went We take a portable radio, to check the time and weather, They used their imaginations and could make up the best stories. I used blankets, quilts, sleeping bags and pillows, whatever they wanted to gather and the living room floor was ours. They also knew there was no tv and what was dragged out had to be put back or there would be no more adventures. There was never a problem with cleanup time. One benefit is you get to lie there and grab a some rest with your eyes closed and listen as they talk on.....one regret I didn't tape some of the conversations for them. My daughter got through a couple of long hydro outages using this same activity, said the kids were very content and she said it was fun....See MoreGrandma or grandma?
Comments (14)I don't think you are doing anything wrong. I also don't think that, even taking into account the history and relationships, the other lady is being silly to feel hurt. I don't think too many of us would, in her position, think, "Well, after what's gone down all these years, I don't deserve to be called Grandma, so I'm just fine with this." It has to be painful. She must feel rejected by her daughter. (I don't think it was so smart of her to make a point of saying anything, though.) Whether it's her own fault or not is not the point. She feels what she feels. I don't think you get anywhere by resorting to statements like "It's the mom's choice," either. That's not going to change one thing about how anyone feels, and I also think you are correct that it could all lead to the other lady's trying hard to marginalize you. As for this inspiring her to be a better parent and change her attitude ... seriously? I strongly doubt it. Honestly, I think the smartest thing for you to do here is to tell your stepdaughter that you are very touched and honored, but that as it obviously causes her mom pain and embarrassment, it might be better all around if you are Nana or Meemaw or Granny or Bubbie or something else. We will probably have grandchildren in the next few years, and as Grandma, Bubbie, and Nana are already in use, I predict that we in the next generation will end up Safta (the Israeli), Abuela (the Mexican), and I suppose I'll ask for "Granny" --because it's the only one left I can think of! But I don't think about it much, because, and this applies to you, too, this whole argument may well be a waste. The first grandchild gets to name the grandparents. No matter what anyone decides, you could both end up being "Kiki" and "BingBong," you know. I have one friend who is "Happy." If your stepdaughter insists on it after your saying this, then you have an entirely different problem on your hands. Don't let her use you as a weapon against her mother, for your own sake most of all. Do you have to step back? No. Does her mom have the right to insist? No. Is she being petty to make a thing of it? Yes. Shouldn't the mom get to choose? Sure. But relying on rules or logic rarely solves problems like these. Rather, I would ask yourself what is the best way to maximize everyone's comfort, dignity, and relationships, here, not least the grandchildren to come. What will make you most confident you are behaving like a lady and a grownup? You aren't the one with something to prove. You can afford to be generous. I'm sure you are going to be an excellent grandparent, and if, for whatever reason, you end up as "MooMoo," someday you'll get a crayoned card that says " YOU ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL MOOMOO IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD!! WE LOVE OUR MOOMOO!" Would that really be so bad? :-)...See MoreGrandma Bonnie (& others), I started on those aprons
Comments (9)That's a great touch, Ruthie! I would have loved to use one of my husband's shirts for my daughter's apron, but I don't have any. He had almost no dress shirts, working in his home office. One of his plaid or chamois shirts would have worked, but the nursing home royally screwed up his possessions, giving me mostly someone else's. They were never able to figure out what happened to my DH's clothes....See Moreyosemitehowler
8 years agocolleenoz
8 years agoHU-357259727
5 months ago
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