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girlsingardens

So when did hand me downs become out of favor

girlsingardens
15 years ago

I have 4 little ones who I have saved all their clothes. The 2 girls are a couple of years in age and have worn each others hand me downs. I have also bought a lot of clothes from garage sales and thrift stores through the years. Starting out when I was in high school and haunted the used book stores and bought clothes at Goodwill. Anne and I were so cool with our goodwill clothes and so was Lance, we were definately styling and marched to our own beat. This has stayed the same and I still hit the thrift stores and have found valuable things and also clothes for the girls and at the time Maternity clothes. Now when I have been saving all the clothes and want to hand down them to someone, I get told that they are garage sale like clothes and that they weren't good enough for her. it was hurtful to me and I have had that in the back of my head. But as I think about it, I get a thrill when I can pick up a pair of near new Nike shoes for the kids for a dollar and new toys for less than a quarter of the price. I also have bough lots of antiques and decorations for my house the same way. Dan just came in and said that if we made a couple of hundred dollars a year then we would probably buy new too. I thought about it and told him that even though we would make that much money, I still would shop the sales, dollar tree, thrift stores, garage sales and auctions. I don't see the point in buying things for so much money when I can get things for a quarter of the price, for me it is the thrill of the hunt. Even right now I get warm fuzzies thinking about hitting the thrift stores. I have also utilized freecycle and partyline and gotten hand me downs from others in in my community. So rather than be upset, I will revel in my finds and the thrill of the hunt.

The funny thing about it is with the way that the economy is cutting back, using what we have, cooking at home, sharing with others and handing down things that we have no use for is what we all need to do if we don't want to get ourselves in trouble. I am glad that my sis is able to go and buy new things for her twins, but I am just as happy that I get to stay home and not have to work outside of the home just to be able to buy my kids the best in clothes and toys. Funny thing is that there was a toy that I wanted to get Hayden for his birthday last summer and I found it in perfect shape for a quarter of the price and bought it for him. When the girls were little I bought tons of little tykes things at garage sales for their birthday presents, heck my kids are happy with a pair of great great grandma's funky necklace and a couple of hankies to play with. I would rather have happy healthy kids than those that the all mighty dollar and the newest thing is the most important, that will happen soon enough.

Stacie

Comments (29)

  • hale_bopp
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Stacie, I totally know what you mean! I can literally design on a dime. I make my rounds once a month for clearance sales and deals. It's a blast! :) It's my "me" time and I get warm fuzzies too. The only problem I've had with second hand stores (not necessarily Goodwill/Salvation Army) is that kids clothes are priced about what I can get at a good Target sale. Luca's shirts are $2.95 at Target while they are sometimes $4.00 at Once Upon a Child.

    Good job! : D

    Blessings,
    Haley

  • susan_on
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    You can have happy, healthy kids who are appreciative, even if they get new clothing and toys instead of thrift shop things while growing up. I have also seen plenty of kids who were raised with thrift shop items who have a sense of entitlement (don't get me started on that). Hopefully, your sister was tactful, but some people like hand me downs and some people don't. I found that out the hard way myself when my kids were young. One lady just loved my son's hand me downs but another lady was extremely insulted at the suggestion. It's just a personal choice, and only one factor in raising well adjusted kids.

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  • caflowerluver
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I am 57 and have shopped thrift stores and the like my whole entire life. At times it was because I had too but even when I didn't have to, I did because I can not justify spending tons of money on clothes. I guess that makes it obvious that I am not a fashion slave. I wear what I want and what is comfortable.

    Some of the things for my home, like original watercolor paintings framed and matted, have also come from thrift stores. You can find some really unusual and cool items there for one tenth the price. DH keeps hoping I will find one of those paintings you hear about that turns out to be worth $100 thousand. Not yet, but I am still looking. And I am always buying books there. Where else can you get best sellers and other great books for a $1 or $2.
    Clare

  • western_pa_luann
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    You should not take it personally if someone does not want your used stuff.

    Maybe the didn't like the colors; maybe they have different taste in clothes; maybe they just wanted the thrill of shopping for their own maternity clothes and kids clothes.

    It IS their choice!

  • frostedc
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I have shopped thrift stores for years.
    I have found some great finds. Some people are totally against wearing anything that was secondhand.

  • gadgets
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I had a sis in law who did the same thing to me eons ago. It wasn't the fact that she didn't want my sons hand me downs that got to me. It was the way she made it known.....like she was just way better than me/mine.

    They didn't have goodwill stores when I was growing up, but I remember the thrill all of my sisters and I got when an aunt gave us a bag/box of her castoffs. We had a ball going through the clothes.........she only bought THE best. I felt absolutely NO shame wearing the clothes, even as a teenager.

    Shirley

  • OklaMoni
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    without garage sale clothes and boys (cousins) hand me downs my girls would not have been dressed as well as they were, while growing up. ;)

    Moni

  • donna_loomis
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I have absolutely no problem receiving hand-me-downs - or hand-me-overs (since I'm an adult). And neither does most of my extended family.

    But, to each their own. I am not in any way commenting negatively on the first poster's circumstance, because I have no first hand knowledge of her situation. But I do know several people who think that their cast-offs are GOLD. I mean, they'll give you something that's torn or stained and think that you should fall all over them with gratitude. I volunteered for a program that welcomed the homeless to come in once a week for a shower, a hot meal, groceries, hygienic projects and a couple of changes of clean clothing. Even though most of the clothing was used, we wouldn't think of giving them torn or stained clothing. Everyone has some pride.

    Before you offer second-hand anything to anyone, maybe you should be able to answer yes to this question: "Is it something I would be okay wearing/having?"

  • Indy_Anna
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Haley - I've noticed that too. Clothes at Once Upon A Child are $4-$7, even $10-12 for brand new, high end stuff. I go to Kohl's and get shirts and pants for $4 each. I suppose garage sales would be much cheaper, but at this point $4 fits in our budget and time schedule for convenience. (I can go to Kohl's once each season rather than hunt over several days at garage sales)

    If anyone has the secret to kids' shoes, I'd be glad to hear that. Both our boys have wide feet and get blisters and calluses from cheap shoes. Stride Rite shoes have been the only ones that fit well. Just when I think I've got it figured out and buy an off brand, the calluses come back.

    I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. I'd find someone else who could use the clothes. It always makes me feel better to donate than to sell at OUAC. I have a friend who is having twin boys, so I'll be sending my stuff to her in bunches.

  • sheilajoyce_gw
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I buy most of our grandson's wardrobe from a consignment shop. Some of the things are still new with the tags. I think a lot of the items are baby gifts and you know how you get a gift now and then that already does not fit, or you forget to put it on the baby before it is too small. Then some things are just gently worn. I try to be selective. I have bought $4 to $7 outfits that my DD sees in boutiques for $50-$70 when she visits her in-laws.

    I know what you mean about the end of season sales. We found a nice sale at Target where the new items were cheaper than the consignment shop. We also found a great sale two weeks ago at Children's Place and bought lots, and then went to another of their stores and bought more, all in the next winter size. Really nice things which I would not have bought at full price.

    I could certainly afford to buy regular price at the stores, but when a kid wears something only 3 to 6 months, I just cannot justify such an expense.

    I grew up the middle girl in a family with 4 children and lived in hand me downs. My mother had grown up the daughter of a poor minister and knew how to stretch a penny. Why be wasteful????? I also appreciated when the gal next door offered me some hand me downs from her daughter. We enjoyed the addition for DDs wardrobe.

  • nodakgal
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I have bought many beautiful things at garage sales. Our second hand store doesn't have anything current I swear. Not for children anyway. Garage sales I only buy like new and not stained or torn.
    The only thing both DD and DS said is please don't buy used shoes. No matter how nice or cheaply priced. I guess the shoe does often conform to the childs foot when worn. My GB's might not be the same. Thats easy enough to stick to not buying shoes.
    One of my GF's has two DGD. only two years apart. The oldest DGD has lots of things that could be passed down. But the DDIL says her child will only have new things, don't you dare buy anything used or passed down.
    Don't even get me started on the way that Mother accepts birthday or Christmas gifts! LOL Nothing is ever right or good enough for the baby who is a year old.
    I guess its all in how you feel about things. I know the kids would much rather I get jeans for the GB's for $2 or $3 that still have plenty of wear and are cute than to pay $25 a pair. Trouble is when they get to be Hunters age which is 8 most of the boys jeans are worn out! LOL So he does get new ones.

  • grinch_gut
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I am learning...I have never shunned the thrift or handme downs.....I always have taken hand me downs But the thrift store shopping is new to me....but after keeping the gb/s and there being 5 of them....if I can get handme downs or thrift or goodwill for them i will be happy......as I said I am learning....i used to just donate our stuff and on the teenagers I still do but I know that these 5 gb's need clothes and they don't ahve to be brand new.....they out grown them to fast.....Stacy

  • jannie
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    There are 2 Thrift Stores near my job, close enough I can walk one to one or the other on my lunch break (45 minutes), get lots of goodies and get back to my desk in time. I used to buy my two daughters all kinds of clothes, including good winter jackets. I found several nice pieces of jewelry for myself. Sometimes they7 have "bag" sales. All you can stuff in one bag for $3. I hit them both at least twice a year. Also love garage sales in my neighborhood.

  • Terri_PacNW
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    They are not out of favor..but some people just can't fathom the thought of used clothes.
    I have uniform clothes that my oldest wore, then the 2nd one, and now the 3rd for school...jackets, cleats I have a tub in the garage I keep handme downs in..when they were little I loved picking up things or having a friend drop a pile off..I didn't use everything they gave me..but I either passed it to someone else or donated the things that were "in good shape" to the thrift store. I now freecycle what I can or donate to the big blue truck..(it's our goodwill pick up business)

  • stephanie_in_ga
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    They aren't out, it's just a select few who don't get it. It's recycling and it's smart.

    We have a little phrase in our house... Shopping in the attic. I have the boys' clothes in tubs, labeled size and winter/summer, in the attic. Every now and then, season changes or a growth spurt hits, time to go shopping in the attic. Mostly that's for the boys, I just have one DD. However, she is no girly girl and is thrilled to have her brothers' old athletic pants or shorts, and some t-shirts, too. Pajamas are mostly gender neutral, pass them from boy to girl, too. Few weeks ago my 12 y/o very politely mentioned, "Mom, my jeans are too short. Can we look for new ones?" No problem, right that minute I opened the attic and pulled out the right box, and he had plenty of "new" jeans. Some looked brand new, some more worn (actually, his favorites from the box are too worn to wear to school, go figure). A few of those clothes were purchased new (but on sale, I'm sure), but some of them were hand me downs from someone else we know.

    When my youngest outgrows clothes, I pass them to my neighbor, who has boys ages 3 and newborn. So they are getting good use. She gets plenty of new clothes from family, and can afford them, too. But she does not turn her nose up at our hand me downs. I sort out stuff that is stained, too worn out (some of it has been through 3-4 kids, there is some loss) and give her the "good" stuff. We both get a kick out of seeing "our" clothes on him, it reminds us how fast they grow up. She'll say "Oh my gosh, I remember how cute Zach looked in that!" Her little boy will get very attached to things that were his older friend's! They are that much more special.

    DD doesn't get as many hand me downs, she is the only girl and I don't know why we don't know many older girls. She has cousins, but they are all plus size girls, and DD is skinny mini. She is in gymnastics, and leotards are expensive! Hand me downs are the norm there. Older girls re-sell their leotards for a few bucks on a rack made for that in the gym. But us moms also just swap. When the mom of an older girl who quit called and asked if I wanted some leos, you bet I drove over to get them, worth the trip, thank you very much.

    When I was in a group for SAHM, we traded or passed down stuff all the time. We'd have days for trading coats or Halloween costumes or toys. I benefited over the years from the clothes, toys, "stuff" that others had outgrown. One of the last times I attended, knowing with my kids all in school I would not be joining their activities anymore, I loaded my van with stuff... books, toys, clothes... that we had outgrown to give it to friends first. There wasn't much left when everyone had a look and took what they wanted. There were certainly some items in there that came to me in the same way.

    Now it's sports gear. Play It Again sports or neighbor's garages of outgrown stuff is the best place to start. Sharing and recycling... it's a good thing! ;o) I know how helpful it is to get kids stuff from others, that much less I have to spend. I am glad to get it, and glad to share with others when I can. Now that my kids are getting older, I find I'm more at the top of the chain these days. But a friend of DS's has older sisters and they recently gave DD a bunch of stuff (the only way she's gonna get an Abercrombie shirt LOL).

  • sheilajoyce_gw
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I have found good deals on new children's shoes at Target at the end of the season. Found some light up Spider man tennis shoes marked down several weeks ago. Many months before that when I was buying summer sandles, got some navy and red tennis shoes with velcro closure for $3.50. Just happened to be shopping for another size, but spotted these deals for the next size. Timing is it.

  • drewsmaga
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I get hand-me-downs from my 29 yo DD! She's a well-paid professional who dresses for work & I don't shop at Express, Gap, etc. b/c the prices are outrageous for my lifestyle. ;-)

  • girlsingardens
    Original Author
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I shouldn't have been surprised about my sis being upset and not wanting hand me downs. She did go through the clothes and picked out what she could. It was just the comment that she made earlier that most of my stuff was just just garage sale stuff and were things she wouldn't use. I am so excited for her, she is the one that had the invitro and is expecting twins in April so this is biggie for her. It is just the thought that the comments about the things my kids wore are too garage sale for her to use. Some are new and some are hand me downs and some are garage sale things. I just want to find someone to get some use of them. I am lucky that after posting this on face book that my neighbor behind me has a little girl that can use the 12 months and older clothes and she is going to go through her 4 year old boys clothes and we are going to do a swap:) so some good has come from that. I guess I just like the thrill of the hunt and can't see buying new. When the kids need new shoes, its of to Goodwill and Salvation army for me during the winter. Come summer time, I will try and figure out the sizes for all winter and buy clothes for the kids that will last all winter when I can't find garage sales. I hate, hate, hate getting rid of things that someone can use.I have given away so many things and it gives me a good feeling to know that someone else is getting use out of my things:)

    Stacie

    PS I love hand me downs from my siblings:) now if I could get rid of some of my stuff I would have more room.

  • missindia2020
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I wish I HAD someone to get hand-me-downs from! My only sibling doesn't have any children and DH's are in India plus they only have boys. Unlike most, she has no grandparents to buy her stuff so everything is purchased by DH & I. I buy some stuff from Goodwill, Thrift stores, consignment shops and sales. I mostly shop end-of-season sales at the best stores in town. I shop for the size DD will be next year. Her feet grow slowly and she has very narrow heels, so I don't really buy second-hand shoes. I do try to get them on sale. (I have to put heel pads in them to make them thick enough not to flop on her heels). I never give away stained clothing, which DD rarely has anyway, I cut buttons off and make rags out of them.

    DD is very girly (like her Mama) and wears a lot of dresses. She has a narrow waist and it was a struggle to get her pants until some Genius invented adjustable waists!! (Thank you, Lord) I'll take anyone's goodies and will reimburse you for shipping if you want to pass some on to me. DD is size 7/8.

    Ashlin

  • heather_on
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Add me to the hand me down list.

  • Adella Bedella
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    We do reuse and recycle many household items here too. My kids are all built differently so we don't hand down many clothes. I donate clothes in decent condition to the school or the thrift stores.

    People are funny about used things. It can be quite entertaining at times. I've run into people who wouldn't be caught dead shopping at a garage sale or thrift store. Those same people do shop antique stores and estate sales which are glorified garage sales at higher prices.

    Then there are those people who don't shop thrift stores because that is for poor people. That's laughable. Truly poor people probably couldn't afford the prices at some of the thrift stores. I shop there because I the thrill of the hunt and it is possible to find a bargain on some things, but usually not clothes. I live in one of those areas where people often overprice their garage sale clothes. I can buy new for less. Overall, my best clothes bargains usually come from the mall during the 75-90% off sales.

    I wouldn't be too offended because someone doesn't want your hand me downs. I've gotten offers before. Honestly, I just didn't want to deal with the extra work. Sometimes when you get clothes ahead, you're storing it for a while even possibly a couple of years. Sometimes less is more when you're trying to organize and manage a household.

  • lilliepad
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Stacie,I agree with you 100%! My DD shops the thrift stores all the time and has found some great stuff for her and DGS.It's DGS's favorite place to shop.He's almost 10.
    My DDIL jokes that all she has to do when the twins need new clothes is go shopping in the spare bedroom!LOL She has been given sacks,I mean huge garbage bags,full of baby clothes (both boy and girl things),toys,just about anything a baby could need,from the other nurses she works with.I would say at least half of everything she has gotten is new and still has the tags on them and are name brand.We have had to discard very few things because of stains,etc.The good thing is that there are sizes up to toddler size.We have already passed a lot of stuff on to a young couple who just had a new baby and they really appreciated it.
    It is really nice that people can afford to buy name brand clothes for their kids whenever they like but I never thought that was the most important thing in a child's life.Shoot,my kids wore home made clothes and were proud that their mom made it for them! I even made jeans for my boys when they were little.LOL I guess it's all about priorities.

  • lauriemi
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    We call these "love clothes" in our family and have always appreciated them. I have found the older I get, the less I care about what everyone else thinks!

  • intherain
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I bought lots of second-hands for our children and no one ever noticed. I LOVED it when people passed clothing down to me. However, I've learned that not all people feel that way. I once met a woman who was pg with baby #2. She was selling EVERYTHING from baby #1 because she wanted all new for the next baby. Whatever!

    I'm currently having a great time redecorating my home with thift store finds. I'll let other people pay top dollar for designer brand new.

    Sheryl

  • wantoretire_did
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    In our small city there is a local agency that collects clothing and just about anything else household related for people in need. They only allow donations one day a week between 9 and 1. Everything is gone by the following week. If there is an agency near you, or maybe even a school or church, you might check them out, or they could steer you in the right direction. Also, I would think that GW, SA and the like would be glad to have childrens' clothing.

    When my 2 were in grammar school, I decided it was safe to get rid of their baby clothes and checked with the school principal (very small town). He was thrilled to get them. You just never know!

  • joyfulguy
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    The poor can't afford to be fussy.

    Many rich folks are frugal and source goods where they can find them. Not too fussy to enjoy finding a bargain, or a hand-me-down.

    It's often the hungry-to-be-upwardly-mobile, especially the wanna-bes, who are so particular about where their stuff comes from - and don't mind letting you know of their choices.

    Some are snooty about how they deal with your offer, and others know how to decline but do it diplomatically, concerned not to hurt your feelings.

    Did your Sis give you a hard time, try to upstage you and put you down, when you were growing up? Is she the older one?

    Don't let it give you ongoing trouble - just remember not to make such offers to that person again. There are others who'll be delighted to use them ... and may offer you some useful things for some of yours, in return.

    I've learned to be thankful over the years as we grew older and heard the problems that others have, that my brothers (and ready-made younger teen sister who came with stepmother) were kindly, considerate folks that didn't give one a hard time.

    ole joyful

  • lisa_fla
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    The kids and I love garage sales. The teenager and I love Goodwill-the little ones don't because we take too long. DH would never wear garage sale or Goodwill stuff. He used to be mad when I bought the kids used stuff, now he never says a word when they starting asking to go to garage sales. We kept going anyway, so he has given up. But he still doesn't 'get' what our fascination is. My friend gives me her older boys clothes and I give her my boys clothes for her youngest.

  • linda_in_iowa
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I worked with a friend who would give me her DS's hand-me-ups as we called them. My DS thought it was fun to get clothes that Wes had outgrown. When DS needed clothes to wear to a wedding, we would shop the thrift stores for little boys' blazers, Dockers, dress up shoes and then I would buy him a new dress shirt. He was stylin'.
    I have always enjoyed shopping the thrift stores for furniture. Since this is a college town, at the end of a semester you can find good things at the curb. I call it curb shopping.

  • firemanswife
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I work with a lady that completely changes her wardrobe every three months. I have worked with her for four years now and I swear I have never seen her wear the same thing twice!
    When she gets a new wardrobe she gives me all her hand me downs. She will bring in bags and bags of clothes. I love it.
    Half the clothes she has only worn once and the other half still have price tags on them. My feet are smaller than hers so I have to pass the shoes on.
    The clothes I don't care for or don't want I pass along.

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