I just printed out my patient schedule for Wednesday, pulled all the charts for them, checked their insurances, verified if they need a plan of care done, wrote up their Fee Slips and just now realized an hour before leaving that I printed out todays schedule instead of Wednesday. As I was pulling all of the charts I kept thinking (and amusing myself) that it was quite coincidental that exactly the same patients were coming at exactly the same time on Wednesday as they did today.

Jeez.

Last week I cleared out an area under an old sycamore tree wearing shorts. As I was doing it I was thinking "Gee this looks kind of like poison ivy".
I was right.....

Oh deedee, you didn't!? Do you have it bad? I've never had poison ivy but I've seen people who did and they were just miserable.

Ttodd, how many hours of work did you add onto your schedule after that blunder? lol.

Oh ttodd thank you thank you thank you!I have had very similar thoughts- what a coincidence type of thinking... as you relayed. And since you are waaaay younger than I am- it makes me feel so much better- Yay!!!it's not age related. :)
Last time I saw my ipod nano(that I won in July!) was at the hospital for my preop visit just before Thanksgiving.Found it a couple of weeks ago digging through a basket of my summer clothes looking for something cool to wear since it was 90 outside.
Weird.

I was supposed to do the readings for 6 pm Saturday mass, but got a call from another reader asking if I could switch with her and do the 11:30 Sunday readings instead. So I showed up 11:30 on Sunday, and so did she! She wanted to switch for NEXT week! My fault -- I wrote it down on the schedule correctly, but did I bother to check? Noooo. So there was no one to read at the 6 pm Saturday mass, and I feel like a menopausal space case.

Love A&W sugar free root beer!
Itching:gone
Do I look fetching in my shorts? no
:)

deedee - the next time you even think you may have come in contact with poison ivy, immediately take a lukewarm, (definitely as cool as you can stand it) shower and wash your entire body with a degreasing dish detergent like Dawn. No wash cloths, puffs, etc. Use your hands. Don't take a hot shower and don't use bar soap. All suspect clothing washed separately in hot water two full cycles.

We've torn out loads of the stuff on our property and I always ended up looking like I had some sort of horrible skin rot. I've gotten it everywhere. Wasn't pretty going to the office.

I can't remember who gave me the tip, but it was one of my all time best tips, as this small exercise after working in the yard has helped me never again get poison ivy.

Stupid things, gotta give it some thought, I do many, so I only want to post one! LOL

Mine is on the board for everyone to see....I wrote RIP to Vanessa instead of her sister Lynn. I love them both and always get them confused. :c)

Thanks for the tip workinprogress! I will definitely try it if I don't don a hazard suit when I get brave enough to tackle that area again.

I'm batting a 1000. I live 15 minutes from the grocery store. I wanted to fix a very very good spinach salad tonight with Pente pasta, etc. I go to the store only once a week and load up.

Got home and noticed I bought all the ingredients BUT the spinach leaves. hee.

And, oakleyok, you just wrote "Pente" pasta when you meant "Penne" and it will live forever right here!

I, myself, have nothing to report. But my husband claims to keep a notebook of all my goofy things, says living with Mrs. Malaprop and Ma Kettle wrapped in one has kept him young!

When I was expecting DD #6 I had gone to a 3rd. grade concert of my DD #3. When each class finished performing they had to return to their classroom until the concert was over. When it was over I proceeded to go home with my other children. I got ready for bed and was actually in my bed when my 3rd. grader walked in my room and said "Mom did you forget something?" I had left her at the school and her teacher had driven her home. I blamed it on a "pregnancy moment". Now I blame my absentmindedness on menopause.

I have a little car that runs verrryy quietly when it's idling. The other day I was hurriedly running errands with my 4.5 year old son. I have one of those cars that just have a chip in the key fob, and you just turn the ignition-- you don't need an actual key in the ignition.

Well, when we came out of the store, I realized that I never turned my car off when we got out. I guess I just put it in park and hopped right out! I can't believe it kept running when the key fob was in my purse the whole time!

I bet people were really wondering who the crazy person was that left their car running unattended in the parking lot....

Jen

I'm not sure this is the dumbest thing I've ever done, but it's definitely the most embarrassing, and good for a laugh.

Quite a few years ago, Hubby took me out for lunch to celebrate our anniversary just a spur-of-the-moment late lunch at a Chinese buffet we like. It was mid-week so the restaurant wasnÂt very busy. When we were about done eating, I said I was making another trip to the buffet to get a bit more of ?? - something I really liked, can't remember what - and Hubby said he was going to the desert table.

I went and got whatever I was after, turned around to go back to my seat and saw ÂHubby standing at the dessert table with his back to me, scooping ice-cream or something so I walk over behind him and lean in close, and slip my arm around his waist and kinda give him a little tickle/rub on the chest. Just as I am doing this, I look up and see Hubby still sitting at our table watching this happen, and laughing to kill himself. This guy IÂve never seen before - whose waist my arm is around - turns and looks at me with the most horrified expression on his face. Same dark hair as my Hubby, almost identical blue shirt. I almost died.

It was pretty awful for a few minutes, but I was finally able to walk over & speak to this guy and his wife (who was sitting about 3 tables away from us and looked completely stunned / bewildered). I apologized of course, and tried to explain what I was doing  as best as you can explain an attempted romantic/sexy gesture on your anniversary in an almost empty restaurant. I think we all ended up having a laugh  the dark hair & blue shirt resemblance was obvious  but I donÂt remember what else was said after that. I think my mind has been trying to forget the incident ever since it happened, lol.

I cannot be trusted with two things. Water. And Fresh Flowers. I need water so I have to be on guard constantly. Fresh flowers I have learned to live without. I am allowed outdoor flowers. But whenever I look longingly at bouquets or potted flowers in the grocery store, I am warned away from them. "You know what happens when you have flowers!".

I will add here in my defense, that I am hard very hard of hearing. I am also over 50. I can also be stupid, sometimes. I will blame the first two options.

First incident involves water and fish. Cleaning the aquarium that was in our bedroom (50 gallon), I was vacuuming the gravel. The long hose was attached to the bathroom tap. You know the kind. Where it uses water pressure from the tap to draw the water out of the tank, and empties it out into the drain. Sound of water syphoning, sound of water hitting the floor. Sounds the same. Apparently 'something' blocked the sink drain. And of course it overflowed. Let's just say the living room ceiling needed to be replaced.

Smaller incident involving water and flowers. I was given a bouquet by a dinner guest. Do not place tall vases of flowers on glass tables that hold electronic equipment under the glass shelf. One misplaced bump into the table, you can guess what happens.

Okay, the hugest biggest prize winning stupid thing I've done. Water. Flowers. Being deaf and over 50. Running a bath. Go on, guess.

Need more details?

My DH bought me a lovely little blue and white delft bowl. and a bouquet of yellow tulips. I, being an artist, wanted to paint a still life painting of the bowl and tulips, and call it 'Made in Holland'. That sets the background.....

One morning I go upstairs and turn on the water for my morning bath. I placed my clean clothes on the counter, but realized my jeans were downstairs on the dryer. I ran down to the basement to get them, but they weren't there. So I head back upstairs, empty handed. As I got to the main floor, I noticed the vase of tulips on the kitchen counter, and noticed that a couple were beginning to wilt. I thought to myself "I should get photo references for the still life before the tulips are finished!". So I grab the tulips, stop on the way to get the delft bowl, and grab my camera. And I head to the second floor, right past the bathroom, to my studio. I proceed to set up numerous still life settings. Aiming the lighting, adjusting, photographing. All the while completely oblivious to the sound of water running 15 feet away. Suddenly.. I had this dreadful feeling that I had forgotten something. You know what it feels like when your heart stops, but you hope and pray you are wrong? I wasn't wrong. I did indeed leave the water running, because not only did I completely forget about it after my brain took a left turn at the yellow tulips, I couldn't hear anything which would have reminded me that I had water running! So I had forgotten about the water.. for about, oh, 45 minutes. Or an hour. I don't know how long.
Do you know what happens to water left running in a bath? It... goes... everywhere.

I frantically mopped up what I could, using every towel, sheet, blanket, pail, everything I could get my hands on. And then I called my poor DH at work. Crying, I told him what I did. He chuckled and told me not to worry. He would come home. And he did. He walked in the door carrying a 5lb bag of rags. And he said "I don't think these rags are going to do much...". So he grabbed a steel shovel, and he thrust it through my living room ceiling and was almost drowned by the deluge! He told me not to worry, that he would call the insurance. I told him I didn't think they had a stupidity clause.

Let me just say that we lived for two months without a ceiling. Without floors. Without carpets and with furniture pushed into piles all through the house or wherever it would fit, while the work went on to fix everything. And I do mean everything.
Our insurance apparently 'does' have a stupidity clause.

My hubby bought me brand new state-of-the-art hearing aids. But he has never, ever since, bought me flowers. And he prays I have learned to respect water.

Balego, water, flowers and now please add coffee to your list. You are a danger to someone who is sipping coffee while reading your post! I now have to not only clean off my laptop, but also my white persian who is dripping. Maybe I shouldn't take such big sips!

You are so funny. You and your husband are gems!

LOL, I just thought of something else. Wanna guess what it involved? Yep. Water. I cannot blame deafness this time. Just being over 50.

I have a backyard pond. When the pond gets low from evaporation, I have to add fresh water. So one evening last summer, I set the hose on 'soaker', placed it in the pond to fill. And I guess I got called away. I don't remember. I could have heard the water that time, but I left the pond area for some reason. And it got dark. And I came in the house, and I think we watched 'America's Got Talent' or something. I took the dogs out for their night time business, but took them out front instead of the back because it is spooky out back at night. Raccoons and skunks sometime wander through and beagles and wildife aren't a good mix. That done, we went to bed. Next morning!!!!!!!, I took the dogs out back. Hmmm. Yard was a bit soggy. Oh dear. And then I hear the hissing of the hose. Still running in the pond. Now, my first thought was 'where did a whole nights worth of water go?" and prayed it wasn't in my basement! Miraculously, the basement was bone dry. I guess it just seeped down and down into the earth under my pond. I'm surprised my pond, rocks and all, wasn't just swallowed up into a huge abiss of mud and water. I never told my DH about that one. No harm done so no reason to fess up.

You know, I felt like such an idiot after the first water incident. But then my DHs boss told me not to feel bad, that she once turned on her kitchen tap, and then left to visit her dad for 5 hours! She lived on the 10th floor of a highrise at the time.

Balego, I can now turn off this infernal machine. Nothing could possibly top your posts. I agree with Marlene. I will giggle myself to sleep! Oh and thanks for the reminder-I am going out to turn off the hose-teehee-really!

Oh and have you ever thought of writing a book??

waving to all and laughing as I go.

Balego! Stop it. I have just so many paper towels (and Depends).

I've never done anything stupid..ever..not even when I got my first kitten 14 years ago and after rubbing her little belly felt a lump and immediately took her to the vet (they squeezed me in as an emergency because of the panic in my voice). Of course, when the vet had me point out the "lump", with a smile, he told me, yes and she has another here...and here..and...long story short...the lumps were her little nips!! I can't believe I ever went back.

And then there was the time I was with a group of intellectuals and told them about my friend who had a photogenic memory!

And, of course, I've never walked into the Men's restroom or have I ever told a Parisian when asked what my husband did for a living, in my version of perfect french, I responded that he was an avocado and that he had been practicing for over 40 years! (You'd think he'd be really, really ripe!)

Marlene, I'm dyin' here. I'm laughing about 'avocado', but have no idea what it is your husband could possibly be.
I can sort of relate to the kitty at the vet thing. My sister had made arrangements to have her kitty spayed, and as it jumped down from my lap when I was visiting her, I noticed a couple of quite obvious things, and picked the cat up to have a closer look. I was able to inform her she needed to book an appointment for neutering. The male cat remained 'Samantha', but the name was shortened to 'Sammy'.

You know, it is pretty bad when the only thread in this forum that I can really shine in is the stupidity thread!
Another one of my blunders involves a bath and a hearing aid. (do you see a pattern here?).
I ran myself a bath, and while it was running, I placed my clean clothing on the counter. I removed my hearing aid and placed it on the counter. After my bath I got dressed. I reached for my hearing aid, and it wasn't there. Not on the counter. Not on the floor. Nowhere to be seen. I checked amongst the clothing I had removed, and double checked the counter and floor. No sign of it. I could only think that somehow it might have accidently fallen into the toilet that is beside the vanity. Was the toilet open or closed when I undressed? I didn't know, but it seemed the only thing I could think of. My DDDDDH (he earned all the DDDs by being so patient with me), happens to be in a line of work that involves sewer lines and cameras. He wasn't about to let an expensive hearing aid go down the drain, literally. He told me to hold tight, he would have his crew come and send a camera into the line. If it was in there, they would find it!
Four big fellas show up in a large truck, equipped with a remote camera and video monitor. They proceeded to thread a long rubber tube through my pipes and out to the main sewer line and as far as the manhole down the street, and my sons and I watched the drama on the monitor. We anxiously looked out for my tiny hearing aid, not that it would be functional even if it was found in there! No luck, it wasn't there.

I resigned myself to being totally deaf until a replacement aid could be ordered. Later that day, I reached around to try to scratch an itch in the middle of my back, and discovered a lump under my sweater. What the?

I remove the sweater and guess what is inside. Apparently when I was getting dressed, my hearing aid somehow got caught up in the strap of my bra as I lifted it from the counter, going unnoticed as I put it on. So while all the forces were called in to locate the hearing aid, it was sitting snuggly in the middle of my back the whole time!

I begged DH not to tell the men where I found it, but he had to. It was the highlight of his week. lol.

I have more...

Flowers again. Walked to the mall. Did a bit of grocery shopping. Walked to the outdoor flower market next. Did a stupid thing at the checkout which doesn't really matter except I felt like an idiot. Anyway, I walked all the way home. And it was only after all that shopping and all that walking that I discovered something stuck to the back of my pants. You know how on a new pair of pants you remove the tags before you wear them? Well, I did that. But what I didn't remove was the very long plastic sticky thing that they put down the back of the leg stating the size... 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10. From my buttock to the back of my knee.

Balego, OMG, the tears are flowing!

OMG!!!! I haven't laughed this hard since I don't know when!!!! You gals are a hoot!

I'll play....One time my mother in law made us a coconut cream pie! One of her specialties! And course it was ALL home made, crust and all. Well it was sitting on the counter, covered with plastic wrap when I went to bed. When I got up the next morning, the plastic wrap was kind of messed up, you know kids and hubbies don't deal well with putting plastic wrap back the way it s'posed to be. :) And then I looked at the pie...SOMEbody had scooped out about HALF of the filling and left all that empty crust just sitting in the pie plate all lonely. I couldn't imagine why anyone in my family would have done that as we all loved us some pie crust, especially home made!!! Well it was breakfast time, and I decided some good ole pie crust would just hit the spot so I ate all the empty pie crust, but not any of the pie that was left. When my family all started getting up, I accused/asked them why they did something like that....leaving the pie crust. They all denied it, and I believed them....and then....we decided that the DOG must have had herself a feast during the night, standing on her hind legs and licking that coconut creme filling as far as she could reach with that long tongue. So now that we have figured this out....now my tummy doesn't feel so good....you do remember that I ate the empty crust, right??? lol

OMG!!!! I haven't laughed this hard since I don't know when!!!! You gals are a hoot!

I'll play....One time my mother in law made us a coconut cream pie! One of her specialties! And course it was ALL home made, crust and all. Well it was sitting on the counter, covered with plastic wrap when I went to bed. When I got up the next morning, the plastic wrap was kind of messed up, you know kids and hubbies don't deal well with putting plastic wrap back the way it s'posed to be. :) And then I looked at the pie...SOMEbody had scooped out about HALF of the filling and left all that empty crust just sitting in the pie plate all lonely. I couldn't imagine why anyone in my family would have done that as we all loved us some pie crust, especially home made!!! Well it was breakfast time, and I decided some good ole pie crust would just hit the spot so I ate all the empty pie crust, but not any of the pie that was left. When my family all started getting up, I accused/asked them why they did something like that....leaving the pie crust. They all denied it, and I believed them....and then....we decided that the DOG must have had herself a feast during the night, standing on her hind legs and licking that coconut creme filling as far as she could reach with that long tongue. So now that we have figured this out....now my tummy doesn't feel so good....you do remember that I ate the empty crust, right??? lol

Great stories. Probably one of my more stupid things I've done (I will confess to more than one, but no more than that), my sister had a waterbed and she wanted to move it, so we drained it. No problem! We moved her bed into the new position and hooked up the hose. Then we went upstairs for lunch. We started watching the soaps, and well, one show led to another, and so on. I suddenly remembered the water bed. So I went downstairs...and screamed to my sister to turn off the water! The twin size water bed had swelled to five feet above the bed frame. It was a giant balloon. My sister (who probably holds the title of even more stupid than me) went up to the swollen rubber and POKED IT! Then she patted it and that BOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGG will never be forgotten. We were terrified it was going to pop, so we ran back upstairs and called our Dad. (We were in our mid 20's at the time, not children!). Lucky for us, Dad came home and figured out a way to drain it without it popping.

That deflated bed looked something like my stomach after having my biggest baby.

Okay, I love this thread, as I am constantly doing dumb things and it makes me feel better to read about you all doing the same! I like to think that I'm a fairly intelligent person, but as my husband ever so gently (and ever so often) reminds me, I tend to be "book smart" as opposed to "street smart." SO, there is no lack of dumb moment stories. But here is one of the most recent...

My family is a BIG hockey family. My husband just loves the sport and most everyone in both of our families loves playing/watching hockey. Needless to say we were thrilled when the USA was playing for the Gold in the Olympics this year. We were planning on having family over for the big game and I was online checking the schedule of upcoming games. I saw that the Bronze medal game and the Gold medal game had been scheduled, but I just could not figure out where that darned Silver medal game was on the schedule! It took me a good fifteen minutes to remember that the loser of the Gold medal game IS THE SILVER MEDAL WINNER. Jeez!

imsoconfused- That is soooooo gross.

balego- Stay away from water.

rilie- THAT is the funniest thing ever.

As for me. Recently... I took home some ham from Easter at sis house. I planned to make split pea soup. I put it in freezer so that morning I took it out to thaw. I spent all day thinking about that ham and how yummy the soup would be. I made the soup. I had a recipe out to make sure I did all that I was supposed to. Ate the soup, everyone loved it. At last spoonful I realized I forgot the ham. DH laughed. He didn't want to say anything but figured it was just "chemo brain". To prevent forgetting things from now on I write notes as soon as I think of them.

My dh asked our really skinny neighbor when she was expecting. She wasn't, she was just wearing a babydoll top. He has never asked a woman since.

Almost every time I go to store to get something specific I get tons of other things and not the specific item. Hence then need to now make notes.

Oooooooh, now I remember something good.
At work we have three buildings. The bathrooms are womens on north end, mens on south end. I went into another building and realized I needed to go. I headed to the womens room and as soon as I opened the door I saw a man at the urinal with his back to me. Of course, proper male ediquitte is that they don't turn and look at each other when at the urinals. Thank goodness!! I let go of the door and literally ran down the hall and slipped into another suite to hide. I think it was a guy from a unit I don't go to so I am pretty sure he would not know me even if he did look. Later on I realized who he was and was right, he does not know me and from now on when I have to go I go back to my own building.

Update.
Last night as my dh went to bed I told him I would make his coffee for today. Add water, add filter, add coffee, set delay timer, done.
DH called me this morning and told me I forgot to add the water. The maker came on and simply reheated the old coffee I forgot to dump out.
Chemo brain? It is so weird because in the beginning I was having hard time remembering why I was at store or forgetting the ham in the soup. Now I am simply forgetting things. We laughed. Then he asked if I put his clothes in the dryer. Since I obviously cannot trust myself I checked. Yep, they were done. But I could not remember that I did that. WOW, really weird feeling.

I did tell him about balego and he did agree that water should be avoided at all cost. lol

When we bought a new house I went over to wait on some contractors. While I was waiting I needed to potty so I ran to the master bathroom, pulled down my pants and sat down. As I looked up I noticed that I was looking right out the front windows on the house. Since we had just bought it, of course I had no window coverings.

It has me paranoid now so I usually go to the bathroom with the lights off just in case one of the dogs has pushed the blinds open.

The other day I put the kiddo in my truck and was getting ready to leave for work. My husband was telling the kiddo bye and then came to my door to tell me bye. I put the truck in reverse and started backing out of the driveway. My husband yelled out that I might want to start the truck! Apparently I got distracted and thought I had turned the key on (and our driveway is very sloped so I just started rolling down). Duh!

Last Saturday I was in charge of a large party at my church. I loaded my car to the ROOF with all of the deco items that I was going to need, checked my lists for the last time and headed out of the driveway. Shortly thereafter I found myself at my day job, and wondering why DD's car wasn't there since I had just spoken to her on the cell phone and she informed me that I was late and she was waiting..........DUH.............
It took me another half hour to get to the church, fortunately she was still waiting and then we spent the next half hour howling over how ditzy I am!!

You guys are hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep them coming!

Here's my stupidity of the day..so far. I went to Walmart early this morning, got parking spot closest to the store, with the cart holder next to the car. When I got out of the car I barely dinged the metal that holds the carts. No problem.

When I was ready to leave, I opened the car door to get inside, fiddled with my hair because it is extremely windy today, and BOOM!..the wind knocked my door into the metal thingy again, this time putting a dent in the car. lol.